Color rose to her cheeks. “That’s not fair. I didn’t deliberately set out to be mean. I wanted to talk to you but I couldn’t. You didn’t want to listen. You only wanted things your way, on your schedule.”
He refused to be deflected from the point. “You dumped me without a word.”
“I left a note.”
He glared at her. “Yeah, a note. That’s so great. I was about to propose and you left a lousy note. You’re right. That makes everything fine.”
“I’m not saying it makes things fine.” She planted her hands on her hips. Her wet hair hung in her eyes; her mouth trembled as she spoke. “I couldn’t risk speaking with you. I knew you’d do everything you could to change my mind. You would never understand why I had to leave.”
“I loved you. Of course I wouldn’t want you to go away. Why is that so horrible?”
“It’s not.” She took a deep breath. “You’re deliberately misunderstanding me. My point is, I deserved to have a life, too. I deserved to have my dreams and the opportunity to make them come true. But you didn’t care about that. You weren’t willing to listen. Besides, it’s not as if you even missed me.”
Her words stunned him. He could still remember what it had been like when he found out she’d left. It was as if the world would never be right again.
“What the hell are you talking about? I was destroyed.”
“Right. And that’s why you raced after me and begged me to come home. Admit it, Gage. You never really loved me. You loved the idea of getting married and starting a family. You certainly never cared enough to come after me and make sure I was all right.”
She ducked her head as she spoke, and for a second, he thought he saw tears in her eyes. He swore.
“Is that what this is about?” he demanded. “Some stupid teenage girl test? If you really love me, you’ll race after me to the ends of the earth?”
She raised her head. There were tears in her eyes, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t believe she was making him the bad guy in this.
“Yes, it was a test. And guess what? You failed.”
Fury overwhelmed him. He thought of all that had happened after she’d disappeared. How he’d raged and ached and thought he would never get over losing her. He thought about all the times he had gotten in his car to go after her, only to stop himself, because, dammit, letting her go had been the right thing to do. He thought about how he had looked for her in all those magazines, how he’d touched the glossy photo when he’d finally found her picture, still needing her as much as he needed to breathe.
He remembered that despite trying like hell to fall for someone else, he’d never been able to love anyone but Kari.
He thought about telling her all that—but why bother? She believed what she wanted to believe. So without saying anything, he turned on his heel and walked away.
Chapter Seven
“The nerve of that man” and other variations on the theme occupied all Kari’s thoughts through the evening and well into the next day. She still couldn’t believe what Gage had said to her. And how he’d acted! Like she’d said something so terrible.
Was it wrong of her to want to make decisions about her life? Of course not. But he’d refused to see that, just like he’d refused to understand what she’d been trying to say. Okay, maybe running away from a man she knew wanted to marry her, without explaining why and leaving only a note, wasn’t very mature, but she’d been barely eighteen years old. Certainly not old enough to be getting engaged, let alone getting married and having kids! Which was what Gage had wanted. He’d planned it all out, from the date of their wedding to how long they would wait before starting a family to how many children were going to make up that family.
She’d gotten scared. She’d panicked and run.
She flopped down on the sofa in the parlor and stared out the front window. Upstairs there was plenty of work to be done, but she couldn’t seem to motivate herself to do it.
Not only was she uncomfortable about arguing with Gage, but she hated all the memories that fight had stirred up. She’d been so in love with him, so crazy for him, that leaving had been incredibly hard. She’d cried the whole way to New York, and then some. She’d wanted to return home, and a thousand times she’d nearly done that. She’d picked up the phone to call him twice that many times. But, in the end, she hadn’t. Because she’d known that coming back to Possum Landing would mean giving in to what Gage wanted for her life. It wasn’t only the loss of her dreams that she feared…it was the loss of herself.
But he hadn’t seen it that way back then, or yesterday. They’d both said things they didn’t mean—at least, she hoped they didn’t—and now they weren’t speaking.
Kari stirred restlessly on the sofa and frowned. She didn’t want to be not speaking to Gage. He was an important part of her past and about her only real friend in town. He was a good man and she really liked him. Obviously, her body thought he was a deity—but what did her body know? Avoiding each other didn’t make any sense.
That decided, she headed for the kitchen where a batch of peanut butter cookies were cooling. After transferring all but a half dozen onto a plate, she went upstairs and changed into a bright blue sleeveless dress and a pair of tan sandals. She fluffed her hair, touched up her lipstick and practiced her best smile.
She would make the first move to show good faith and get things right between them. Once they were speaking again, she would do her best to avoid conversations about the past, because that only seemed to get them in trouble. Oh, and kissing. They would have to avoid that, too, because it led to other kinds of trouble.
She walked downstairs, covered the cookies with plastic wrap, then grabbed her purse and headed for the front door. Seven minutes later she pulled up in front of the sheriff’s station. Two minutes after that, she was escorted back to Gage’s office.
As she walked down the long corridor, she found her heart fluttering a bit inside her chest. The odd sensation made her feel nervous and just a little out of breath.
Emotional reaction to their fight, she told herself. She was simply nervous that Gage might still be angry with her. She certainly wasn’t anticipating seeing him again.
He was on the phone when she paused in the doorway to his office. Rather than focus on how good he looked in his khaki uniform, she glanced around at her surroundings.
Gage looked up and saw her. His expression stayed unreadable—something that seemed to happen a lot—although she thought she might have caught the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He hesitated briefly before motioning her in.
She moved to a straight-backed chair in front of his desk, and perched on the edge. Gage wrapped up his conversation and set down the receiver. She swallowed. Now that she was here, she didn’t know exactly what to say. Her situation wasn’t helped by the continued fluttering of her heart, not to mention a noticeable weakness in her arms and legs. It was as if she’d just had a very large, very stiff shot of something alcoholic.
What on earth was wrong with her? Then, unbidden, the memory of the passion she and Gage had shared rose in her mind, filling her body with sensations and her imagination with possibilities.
She silently screamed at herself to get down to business. Namely, apologizing. There would be no sexual fantasies about Gage. Not now. Not ever! And she really meant it.
“Kari,” he said, his voice low and sexy. Really sexy.
She shivered. “I, um, brought a peace offering.” She pushed the plate of cookies across the desk toward him. “I figure we both overreacted, but I’m willing to be mature about it.”
She was teasing, and hoped he would get the joke. Instead of saying anything, though, he peeled back the plastic wrap and pulled out a cookie. After taking a bite, he chewed.
“I can be mature,” he said as he leaned back in his chair and smiled at her. “With motivation.”
She relaxed in her seat. “Are these enough motivation?”
“Maybe. It might tak
e another dozen or so.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” The rapid beating of her heart continued, but the tension fled.
“I’m sorry,” she said seriously.
“Me, too. Like you said, I overreacted.”
“I said a lot of things…” She paused. “I’m sorry about saying I tested you and you failed. I didn’t mean it like that. I was a kid back then and completely unprepared for a grown-up relationship. I ran away because I was scared and couldn’t face you. I thought you’d be mad and try to get me to change my mind.” She shrugged. “Like I said, not really mature. But I didn’t plan to hurt you. I thought you’d come after me, and when you didn’t, I decided you didn’t really love me. I thought I was a placeholder. That any woman would have done as long as she fulfilled your need for a wife and mother for your kids.”
Gage picked up a pen and turned it over in his hands. “It wasn’t like that, Kari. Any of it. I wanted to go after you. Hell, I thought about it a hundred times a day. I missed you more than I can ever explain, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t see your side of things. I didn’t want to understand why you’d run off, but in my heart I knew. I didn’t think I had the right to drag you back. You needed to follow your dreams. I’d just hoped they would be the same as mine.”
“They were…just not then. I needed time.”
He nodded. They looked at each other, then away.
Kari pressed her lips together. “Maybe we could start over. Be friends?”
“I’d like that. We can hardly be strangers if you’re dragging me over to work on your house every other minute.”
“I did not drag you. You volunteered.”
“That’s your story.”
She smiled. “You make me crazy.”
“In the best way possible.”
That was true. And speaking of being made crazy…She cleared her throat. “About the kissing.”
He waved a hand. “You don’t have to thank me. I didn’t mind doing it.”
“Gee, thanks. Actually, what I was going to say was that I think we need to avoid it. Kissing can lead to other things and those other things would provide a complication neither of us needs.”
“Fine by me. I can control myself.”
“So can I.”
She was almost sure she was telling the truth. She should have been able to without a problem. It’s just that she sort of wanted to know what it would be like to make love with Gage. In every other area of her life, he’d always been the best man she’d ever known. No doubt he would shine at lovemaking, too.
She knew he would be sensitive and considerate, two things that really mattered to her—what with her never actually having done, well, that before. Someone, somewhere was going to have to be her first time, and she’d always thought Gage would be really good at that. Right up until he freaked out when she told him that she was still a virgin.
Rather than tread on dangerous ground, she changed the subject. “I don’t remember the sheriff’s station being this big.”
He grinned. “How many times were you in it before?”
She laughed. “Okay. Never.”
“We have a contract to patrol state-owned land. Several of the small towns hire us to take care of them, as well. The department has more than doubled since you left. I have some other plans for expansion. More territory and more officers means a bigger budget. We can qualify for some federal grants and upgrade equipment, stay ahead of the bad guys.”
He looked so strong and sure sitting in his chair. A man in charge of his kingdom.
“You’re good at what you do, aren’t you,” she said.
“If I’m not, I won’t get reelected.”
“I doubt that’s going to happen. Something tells me that you’ll be sheriff of Possum Landing for a very long time.”
“It’s what I want.”
She envied how he’d always known that. She’d had to search for what she wanted. “Speaking of wants and dreams, I’m heading up to Dallas in the morning. I have an interview.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Thanks.”
She waited, kind of hoping he might express a little regret that she was leaving, but of course he didn’t. Which made sense. After all, he knew her stay in town was temporary. He wasn’t about to forget that, or start acting surprised when she had interviews in other places. Expecting anything else was really foolish and he knew better than to be that.
“I’ll be back on Saturday,” she said, rising.
Obviously, with her mental state, she had better head home fast. Before she said or did something she would regret. Like throw herself at him. What if he rejected her? She glanced around at the glass walls and everyone who could see in. Actually she would be in more trouble if he didn’t reject her.
“I’ll see you then,” he said. “You’ll dazzle them, Kari.”
“Thanks. I’ll do my best. ’Bye.”
She waved and left his office, then returned to the entrance. The young deputy who had driven her home walked by. He nodded politely and called her ma’am, which made her feel old.
Once outside, she breathed in the afternoon heat and was grateful she’d driven. Any walk longer than ten feet would cause her to sweat through her clothes in about forty seconds. Now, if only she could hire a little elf to go turn on her car and start the air-conditioning. That would be heavenly.
No elf appeared, but just as Kari was about to open her car door, she heard someone call her name. Not Gage, unfortunately. This was a female someone. Kari’s body tensed and her shoulders hunched up. Great. Just what she needed.
Still, she forced herself to smile pleasantly as she turned and saw Daisy walking toward her.
The pretty reporter wore a skirt tight enough to cut off the circulation to her shapely legs. An equally snug shirt emphasized large breasts that instantly made Kari feel like a thirteen-year-old still waiting for puberty. Okay, yes, she was tall and slender and she’d been a model, but that didn’t change the fact that she was a scant 34B, with hips as wide as a twelve-year-old boy’s.
Still, Kari had posture on her side, so she squared her shoulders and forced herself to think tall, elegant, I’ve-been-in-a-national-magazine type thoughts.
“Hi, Daisy,” she said with a big ol’ Texas-size smile. “Nice to see you again.”
“You, too.”
The curvaceous bombshell paused on the sidewalk by the front of Kari’s car and gave her a look that could only be called pitying. “This must be so hard for you,” she said.
Kari had a feeling Daisy didn’t mean the heat, although that was plenty difficult to adjust to. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” she said when she couldn’t think of anything else.
Daisy sighed heavily. “Gage, of course. You’re still sweet on him. I saw the plate of cookies you took in to the sheriff’s office just now. I was across the street getting my nails done.”
Kari nodded without turning. She could feel herself flushing, even though she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about.
Daisy blinked her long lashes. “The thing is, Kari, Gage doesn’t go back. He never has. He stays friends with his old girlfriends, but nothing more. And believe you me, more than one girl has tried to get that horse back in the barn.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “Can you blame them? Gage Reynolds is a catch with a capital C. But once things are over, they stay over. What with you being gone and all, I didn’t think you knew. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Kari doubted Daisy’s motivation, if not her information. Somehow, she couldn’t see the other woman staying up nights worrying about Kari’s pain or lack thereof.
“I appreciate the tip,” she said, dying to make a move toward her car but not wanting to be rude. She wondered how the very passionate kisses she and Gage had shared fit in with Daisy’s revelation. At the same time, she couldn’t help smiling at the mental image of him as a runaway horse to be recaptured.
A thought suddenly occurred to
her. She glanced at the petite beauty standing on the sidewalk. Something twisted in her stomach and made her swallow hard.
“I didn’t know,” she said slowly, finally putting all the pieces together.
And she hadn’t. Daisy’s interest in Gage, her warning Kari away. The fact that Daisy was divorced.
“Didn’t know what?” Daisy asked.
Kari felt trapped. “That you’re interested in him.” What she was thinking was “in love,” but she didn’t want to say that.
Daisy shrugged. “I am. I won’t deny it. He’s a good man and there aren’t many of those around. I know. I was married to a real jerk, which explains my divorce.”
Kari shifted uncomfortably. She didn’t want Daisy saying too much. Somehow it felt wrong. Guilt blossomed inside her. Here she’d been playing fast and loose with an ex-boyfriend, while Daisy had been…What? She didn’t know Daisy’s position on Gage.
“Are you in love with him?” she asked before she could stop herself.
Oddly enough, Daisy laughed. “Love? I don’t think so. I’ve been in love and it was nothing but trouble. I like Gage a lot. I think we could have a successful marriage, and that’s what matters to me. I’m thinking with my head and not any other body part. Not this time. I want a steady man who’ll come home when he says and be a decent father to our kids. That man is Gage.”
Kari couldn’t disagree with her assessment of Gage, but Daisy’s plan sounded so cold-blooded, which wasn’t Gage’s style.
“Does Gage share your feelings on the subject?” she asked.
“No. Like most men, he thinks falling in love makes everything hunky-dory. Which is fine with me. He can love me all he wants. I’ll be the sensible one in the relationship.” Daisy’s eyes narrowed. “So don’t for a moment think you can waltz back in here and pick up where you left off.”
Good Husband Material Page 9
