by Tina Leonard
Another murmur of assent followed.
Guilt swept through her. Conflicted, she turned to Rafferty.
“I hate to break it to you, fellas,” he said, “but Jacey isn’t going to be staying here indefinitely.”
Eli looked at Rafferty. “Unless one of us can convince her otherwise,” he said meaningfully.
Ignoring his father’s less-than-subtle hint, Rafferty continued, “Jacey has been looking for another position in her field all along. She’s even locked up an interview in Austin right after Christmas.”
Faces fell. The room reverberated with disappointment.
Rafferty was only speaking the truth. So why, Jacey wondered, did it suddenly feel as if she’d been stabbed in the heart? She plastered a reassuring smile on her face. “I told you-all the way it was from the beginning,” she reminded gently. “I only agreed to take this job through the Christmas holiday.”
“Yeah, b-but we figured…” Curly stammered, looking like a kid who’d just had his puppy taken away.
Suddenly, Jacey felt like crying, too. She told herself it was a natural reaction to disappointing people she had come to care deeply for. And not the prospect of leaving the only man who had ever made love to her as completely and thoroughly as Rafferty had. Physical passion…one-sided romantic love…was no reason to upend a life. Or trade a sophisticated existence in the city for down-home camaraderie on an isolated ranch—even if it was one of the most beautiful places on earth.
She looked at Rafferty, wishing once again he would rescue her.
Once again, it seemed an emotional wall was up between them, that he was hiding whatever it was he was feeling, from everyone close to him—including her.
“I think what the fellas are trying to say is, it’s just not going to be the same around here without you,” Rafferty concluded matter-of-factly. And that, it seemed, was that.
“NO DISRESPECT, boss, but was that the best you can do?” Gabby demanded.
Hoss ripped out a damaged section of barbed wire. “Yeah. We don’t want Jacey to leave.”
Curly hammered in a new metal fence post, to replace the one that had been bent. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to this ranch.”
Red picked up debris. “Maybe you should offer her a big raise.”
“At the very least a huge Christmas bonus,” Stretch said, attaching wire to the post. “Chefs like her do not come along every day.”
They were telling him? Rafferty knew Jacey was one in a million. In so many ways that went far beyond her ability to wield a spatula and a frying pan. She brought energy and good cheer to every room she entered. The care she put into her cooking made everyone feel appreciated. Comforted. Like every day was worthwhile. For the first time in a long time, Rafferty found himself happy to get up in the morning, reluctant to go to bed.
“It’s not that simple, guys,” he said finally. I made love to her. Allowed myself to begin to depend on her, and let my feelings for her complicate a situation that should have remained simple….
“Then suppose you explain it to us,” Gabby said, looking irritated.
Rafferty went back to the pick-up truck for another roll of wire as a brisk December wind blew across the canyon. Briefly, he turned his attention to the granite mountain rising in the distance.
“She’s a city girl,” he stated grimly, recalling what trouble that had gotten him into with Angelica. She’d given up her chosen profession, too, to be with him…and been miserable.
Curly yanked off his gloves and gulped down a bottle of water. “If you’re talking about the fact Jacey didn’t have the right clothes to wear at the Christmas rodeo, whose fault was that?” he asked.
Red agreed. “You didn’t exactly give her much notice.”
“Yeah,” Hoss concurred. “She probably would have gone shopping for something more appropriate to wear if she’d known about it in advance.”
“Besides which, I thought she looked real pretty,” Stretch said.
“She does know how to two-step,” Curly added.
“Yeah. It was real sweet of her to honor each one of us with a dance,” Hoss said shyly.
Red complained, “Although some of us hogged her time and attention Saturday night.”
All eyes turned to Rafferty.
“Hey, can I help it if I’m a better dancer than the rest of you-all?” Rafferty said, trying to lighten the mood.
A harrumph echoed through the field.
“At least tell us you’ll give her a better bonus and you’ll give it to her early so she can get it in her head that it might be a good idea for her to stay on,” Stretch advised.
“Yeah. We really, really, really want her around, boss,” Curly said.
They weren’t the only ones, Rafferty thought.
Unfortunately, Jacey had other ideas. When dinner was over, and Caitlin had been put down in her bassinet, Jacey asked to speak to him and his dad in the study.
They met her there. She brought a pot of decaf coffee and a plate of the homemade gingerbread cookies she had served the cowboys for dessert that evening. “First of all, I want you both to know I am not going to take a job with a competing ranch, or even consider one, no matter what the offer.”
Eli nodded. “We appreciate that.”
“Even as we realize,” Rafferty said, trying to be fair, “that it’s a free market and you’re entitled to go wherever you have the best opportunity.”
Jacey studied him briefly, no emotion readily identifiable in her eyes. She looked back at his dad. “I know that, but I just don’t think it would be right, particularly when you took me in and gave me a job and a place to stay when I had no other options.”
“Just promise us you’ll at least give us a chance to match any offer you would consider,” Eli said. “Because we realize you have a fiscal responsibility to your daughter and yourself.”
“I will.” Jacey avoided Rafferty’s gaze and kept her attention solely on his father. “Although like I said, it’s not going to be necessary, because I’m still looking for a job in my field. But until I do secure a property management job that feels right, I would like to stay on here, even as I try to find a suitable replacement for myself. Speaking of which, that’s why I called you here. We had a number of applicants to our online ad over the weekend, and more today, and some of them are very interesting. I thought you might want to take a look at their résumés. See what you think.”
She handed Rafferty and Eli duplicate copies of twelve applicants.
“There were actually a few more, but I weeded them out. For instance, given the cowboys’ reaction to Chinese takeout last week, I really didn’t think a guy with seven years’ experience in Asian eateries was a good match.”
Rafferty and Eli chuckled. “You’re right there. It’s Tex-Mex and southwestern-style comfort food all the way around here.”
Jacey relaxed slightly. “I’m thinking the best thing might be to invite at least a couple of the top contenders out to the ranch and let them cook a meal for the guys and see if it’s a good fit. Only one of these people is available immediately, but this way, should that job I’m up for in Austin turn out to be a good fit, you would hopefully already have someone lined up. Even if the person you pick can’t start till later.”
“When did you want to do this?” Eli asked.
Never, Rafferty thought fiercely.
Jacey smiled. “How about Wednesday—if I can get the guy who’s available immediately to come out?”
RAFFERTY WAITED a decent interval of time, then tracked Jacey down in the kitchen, where she was shaping sugar-cookie dough into Christmas bells. Not sure how much time they would have to talk privately, he got straight to the point. “I thought you weren’t all that interested in the Austin job.” He had taken great comfort in that.
Jacey inclined her head to one side. “When I called this morning to tell them that I didn’t feel university students and a baby were a particularly good mix, they offered me a shot at something el
se in a high-rise across from the state capitol. The downside to that is the job isn’t available until May first—]they just want something set up now.”
Rafferty wanted Jacey to succeed in whatever she did. He just didn’t want to lose her in the process. He lounged against the counter where she was working. “Would you be able to take Caitlin to work with you?”
“No.” She wrapped the rolls of shaped dough in plastic and slid them into the refrigerator.
She lifted out a stainless-steel mixing bowl and carried it over to the counter.
“But since everything at that property is done by advance appointment and financial prescreening only, I should be able to get sitters to watch Caitlin when I’m meeting with residents. They said there is a lot of paper pushing with that job, and I could do all that at my leisure—in my apartment on my computer—as long as I get it done.”
Rafferty watched as she formed teaspoonsful of chilled chocolate dough into balls, and then dipped them in confectioner’s sugar. “So you’re going up there for an interview.”
Jacey arranged the cookie dough on a baking sheet. “On the twenty-sixth of December, yes.”
Rafferty studied the smudge of flour in her shiny brown hair. He erased the powder with the pad of his thumb. “Want company? Someone to watch over Caitlin while you interview?”
Jacey looked up at him, the air between them charged with all the things they had left unsaid the last time they had made love. Things she seemed no more eager to get into now. “Don’t, Rafferty,” she said in a low voice. “This situation is complicated enough.”
It didn’t have to be. Rafferty put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. He knew how it felt to be afraid the passion was too wonderful to last. He felt that way now. The difference was, he wasn’t going to let his own uncertainty get in the way of what they could have, if only they were steadfast enough to stay the course.
“I want to be alone with you,” he told her.
She yearned for further intimacy, too. He could see it in her gaze, feel it in the response of her body next to his.
He lowered his head and their lips met. As if on cue, the baby monitor on the kitchen counter crackled. Caitlin let out a cry. She drew back as the single cry turned into a lusty yell. “I’ve got to nurse Caitlin. We’ll talk more tomorrow…I promise.”
Only they didn’t talk in the morning. About that, or anything else. Caitlin was unusually fussy and Jacey went off to tend to her while the men ate their breakfast buffet style.
When Rafferty walked into the bunkhouse that evening after his shower, the men were already gathered around Jacey and the baby, paying both the homage they deserved.
Rafferty watched from the fringes of the activity.
There was no denying it. Jacey and baby Caitlin had brought joy to the bunkhouse, the sense that with the two of them there, it would feel like Christmas all year-round. The only problem was, Rafferty mused, how to get them to stay on Lost Mountain Ranch for more than just another week. ’Cause when Jacey and Caitlin left, he knew it was going to feel as if his heart was breaking all over again.
IT TOOK JACEY FOREVER to get Caitlin rocked to sleep that evening. Part of it was the excitement in the bunkhouse. The men had outdone themselves, trying to get her baby girl to smile and coo and bat her long lashes at them. And Caitlin had proved herself up to the challenge as she basked in the adoration of the cowboys.
Caitlin was so used to being entertained for long periods every evening and first thing every morning, in fact, that Jacey wondered how her daughter was going to react when she didn’t have an admiring coterie of males, ready to grant her very wish.
Just as Jacey wondered how she would react when Rafferty was no longer available to pay her the attention she couldn’t seem to do without.
But, Jacey sighed, that was not her most pressing problem tonight….
“Something wrong?” a low male voice reverberated in the open doorway to Jacey’s bedroom.
Heart racing at the familiar sound, Jacey looked up from where she sat cross-legged in the center of her bed, laptop computer in front of her. “You might say that.”
Rafferty ambled closer. She shoved aside the memory of his naked form stretched out next to hers, in this very bed. She did not need to be thinking about warm male skin and evocative lips and hands when she had a fast-approaching deadline to meet and online commerce to arrange. It wasn’t like her to be so behind on her shopping. But then, normally, she didn’t have a man like Rafferty distracting her.
“Maybe I can help,” he said casually.
She regarded him facetiously and quipped, “That all depends. Can you make a garlic press, a corn stripper, an olive pitter, an avocado slicer and a lemon and lime squeezer magically appear?”
Finally, she’d thrown him off his game.
He blinked. “A…what?”
Jacey patted the mattress beside her, indicating he was welcome to sit down if he wanted. “I finally figured out what I want to get my sister for Christmas.”
“Ah.” The mattress shifted as it accepted his weight. “All the stuff you just mentioned.”
“Right.” Jacey pushed away another onslaught of erotic memory. “The problem is, those things are generally only carried by specialty stores. It’s no problem to find a kitchen boutique in the city—they’re all over the place—but the closest ones to this ranch are in towns that are at least four hours away.”
“I see your problem,” he said.
Jacey drew a deep, bracing breath. “So, I went online and tried to order them from the Web sites of the two biggest stores in the country, and guess what, they’re out of stock until February.”
“You could always give her an I.O.U. and a card.”
“No. I am determined to track down what I need and make this work.”
A wail went up from the adjoining bedroom.
Jacey sighed. “I just put Caitlin down fifteen minutes ago. She’s been fed and changed and bathed and rocked.”
Times like this—although admittedly few and far between thus far—made her wonder how she was going to manage on her own.
Thankfully, Rafferty seemed to understand even the most devoted mommy occasionally needed backup. “Want me to get her?” he asked gently.
Trying not to think how wonderful it would be to have Rafferty as Caitlin’s daddy, instead of just her lover, Jacey took comfort in his presence instead. “Would you mind walking her around a little bit and just patting her on the back until I finish this?”
RAFFERTY HAD, in fact, been hoping he would be asked to hang out with Jacey and Caitlin for the evening. “No problem,” he said.
When he came back with Caitlin snuggled contentedly in his arms, Jacey was on her cell phone, talking to a clerk. She had a pencil stuck in her dark hair, just next to her ponytail, a determined expression on her face.
As usual in the evenings, she had changed her nicer clothing for a pair of black jersey lounge pants and a button-up, long-sleeved T-shirt, worn open at the throat. Her feet were encased in cozy wool socks that coordinated with the red of her shirt and the black of her pants. “Okay, I’ll hold, thanks.” She stretched out her legs on either side of the computer and wiggled her toes. “The Kitchen Things store in El Paso is going to see if they have any of the items in stock.”
While Rafferty tried not to notice the sexy V of her legs, she went back to listening. “You do, really? Three of them? Thank you…! Any idea who would be most likely to have the rest?” Totally caught up in what she was doing, Jacey grabbed her paper and pen.
Forty-five minutes later, Caitlin was asleep on Rafferty’s shoulder, and Jacey was finally done with her shopping.
Cheeks flushed with victory, she pantomimed she was ready for her baby.
Rafferty wished he didn’t have to give up the child. He could have held and comforted her forever. But he knew it was important to get the infant settled while she was still deep in sleep, if they didn’t want Caitlin to wake again.
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br /> A transfer was made, with only slight difficulty. Rafferty watched, his heart full, as Jacey carried the softly snoozing infant back to the nursery and tucked her in once again.
Returning, Jacey did a little Snoopy dance. “I got Mindy everything she’s wanted for a long time. All I have to do is drop by the customer-service desks of three different kitchenware stores when I get to El Paso on the twenty-seventh, pick them up, take them back to her place and wrap them.”
This, Rafferty thought, was what exasperated him about knickknacks in general and the holidays in particular. “That’s a lot to go through for a lemon and lime squeezer.”
Jacey wrinkled her nose at him and took down her hair. “Clearly, you do not understand the value of specialty kitchen tools,” she accused, running her fingers through her hair.
Rafferty tore his gaze from the silky strands falling across her shoulders. “Okay, explain it,” he commanded.
Oblivious of the effect she was having on him, Jacey went back to the bed and shifted her computer onto her lap. She scrolled back to a photo as she talked. “The corn stripper takes the kernels off quick as you please and the kernels stay inside the little compartment instead of flying all over the place.”
Rafferty tried, but could not be impressed.
She sighed and rolled her eyes in humorous derision. “Clearly, you’ve never tried to cut corn off the cob.”
Rafferty spread his hands and sauntered closer, glad for another chance to tease her. He liked seeing the playful light come back into her emerald eyes. “Why do that if you can pick it up and eat it right off the cob?”
“Because if you want to cook with fresh corn kernels you have to cut them off the cob first, and it is a messy and difficult job,” she explained.
“Oh.”
“Same with pitting olives. And the same tool for that can also be used on cherries.”
“That’s good to know.”
She tilted her head, apparently realizing she was not preaching to the choir. “You don’t care.”
Rafferty shrugged. “I like to see you happy.”
