Alec approached from behind. “She shouldn’t have to live her life always worrying you’ll pull something stupid like you did today. You can’t ask her to do that, not after all she’s been through already.” He paused and let out a breath. “A few months ago, you told me that my accident doesn’t just affect me, it affects the people close to me as well. And you were right. I think you’d do well to remember that now.”
With that, Alec wheeled himself past Seth and out of the small, barren hospital room. Seth watched him go, making no move to follow or find Grace.
Alec’s words cut straight through as the full extent of what Seth had done to Grace sank in. Although his body felt bruised and beaten, his heart ached.
GRACE WENT THROUGH the motions at work, but everything around her felt dull and lifeless, as if someone had erased all the color in the world. She smiled and joked with her patients, but her heart wasn’t in it. It was broken.
Four days earlier, she’d given her ring back. She hadn’t spoken to Seth since and didn’t feel any better now than she had then. If anything, Grace felt worse. Seth hadn’t tried to call or stop by. He hadn’t even sent a text. It was like he’d accepted the fact that Grace was no longer a part of his life without so much as an argument.
That hurt more than anything.
Grace said goodbye to her last patient and walked into the break room, grabbing an apple from the fridge even though she had no appetite. She took a large bite and chewed, letting the juices run down her dry throat. From here on out, every day would get a little easier. It had to. In time, her heart would mend. She’d find a guy who liked to sit on his couch and play video games. A guy who thought an adventurous date was watching an action film. A guy who preferred strolling through the park to mountain biking and jumping out of airplanes.
But would he have Seth’s energy, his ability to find joy and humor in pretty much everything? Would he be playful and fun and zap away all the gloominess in the world?
Grace frowned, missing Seth more than ever and wanting him to walk through the door right now.
If she were on the outside looking in, she’d probably want to yell at herself for being stupid, that Seth was perfect for her, and she needed to take one day at a time and not worry about what could happen. But she wasn’t on the outside. She was on the inside, with a heart too vulnerable and scared to watch Seth leave every day and wonder if he’d come back in one piece.
“Hey, something wrong?” Cameron pulled out the chair across from her, flipped it around, and sat down. “You look like you just went through a bad breakup.” He paused, searching her face before recognition dawned. “Wait, did you?”
Grace frowned. Cameron was the last person she wanted to have this conversation with. He was about as deep and sympathetic as an earthworm. But she couldn’t outright lie to him either. “Maybe.”
“Why?” His forehead wrinkled in confusion. “From what I could tell, you and Seth are great together.”
Grace studied him. The fact that he’d figured all that out from observing her might mean that he had a little more depth to him than she thought. If Grace opened up to him, would he surprise her? Had she given Cameron too little credit?
Reluctantly, Grace gave him the Cliff’s notes version of what had happened and waited anxiously for him to say something—anything—that would set her world straight once again.
Cameron cast a sidelong glance at the door, as though he felt in over his head and now wanted to make a break for it. When his attention returned to Grace, he cleared his throat. “How is that different from being married to a cop? Or anyone, for that matter? I mean who’s to say Seth won’t die in a car accident tomorrow? You can’t protect him from everything.”
“It is different,” Grace argued. “Yes, police officers willingly put themselves in danger, but it’s for a greater good. And yes, freak accidents happen all the time, but they’re just that—freak accidents. Seth, on the other hand, willingly puts himself in harm’s way, and for what? Because it’s fun. It’s an adventure. What about when kids come along? What then? How could I possibly tell our future child that something bad happened to his daddy because he wanted to experience an adrenalin rush?”
Cameron glanced longingly at the door once more and sighed. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s for the best.” With that, he patted her knee and walked away.
Grace frowned at his retreating back. It was all for the best? Did he really consider that a good pep talk? Apparently Cameron wasn’t mentor material after all—not that she really expected otherwise.
“Knock, knock,” said a deep voice from the doorway.
Grace jumped before realizing it was just Alec, sitting in a wheelchair and watching her. What was he doing here?
“Don’t tell me you forgot about our training session.”
Grace let out a breath of frustration. She had forgotten. Normally Tuesdays were the days she trained with Alec during her lunch break. But today it only meant four days since she’d walked away from Seth.
Tossing her half-eaten apple in the garbage, Grace left the break room behind and headed toward the bench press. She watched as Alec slid himself from his chair to the bench, swung his legs up, and laid down. Although he’d gotten better at doing that, the dead weight of his legs still made the movement look awkward.
This is why you gave the ring back and walked away—so you don’t ever have to watch Seth go through something similar.
“Earth to Grace,” Alec said.
Her eyes flew to his, and she realized Alec was waiting for her to change the weights out. What was he benching again? She stared at the weights, but couldn’t make her foggy brain recall. Last week seemed like months ago.
Alec sighed. “Add fifty-five pounds to each side,” he said patiently.
“I was just about to do that,” Grace lied.
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and I was just about to walk.”
Grace ignored him as she loaded the weights to one side. Twenty, forty, forty-five, fifty, done.
Alec watched her with a contemplative expression. After a few moments, he raised an eyebrow. “So . . . did you cancel the church?”
The question came out of nowhere. Grace blinked at him in surprise. “What?”
“The church—the one you’re supposed to walk down the aisle at in three weeks. Did you cancel your reservation? What about the caterer, the flowers, the band?”
Grace suddenly felt weak, and she sank onto a nearby chair. Cancel seemed like such a final word, as though her emotional breakdown in the hospital somehow constituted a done deal—the kind you couldn’t take back or say, “Hey, I’ve changed my mind.” More than anything, Grace wanted to change her mind. She wanted to call Seth up, apologize for freaking out, promise to never do that again, and beg him to forgive her. She wanted the ring back on her finger and wanted to walk down that aisle in three weeks.
What she didn’t want was a life filled with fear and worry.
Alec stared at her, waiting for an answer. She blinked. What had he asked again? Oh right, the church. “Um, no,” she said. “I haven’t gotten around to cancelling it yet.”
“Why?”
Wasn’t it obvious? Because she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Just like she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about the invitations that still sat on her kitchen counter. Instead, they remained where they were, serving as a reminder that Grace’s life was currently in limbo-land—at least until she and Seth had the chance to really talk things through and figure it all out. Problem was, Grace wasn’t sure she was ready for that kind of conversation yet.
Alec sighed, grabbed hold of the bar with only half of the weight loaded, and hoisted himself up to a sitting position. He glanced around the room briefly, as if to make sure no one was listening, then met Grace’s eyes. “I tried to break up with Lanna.”
What? Twice now he’d totally caught her off guard. Why would Alec possibly want to break up with Lanna? They were perfect for each other. “When?”
she finally asked.
“About a month ago,” said Alec.
“Oh.” Grace let out a sigh of relief. Since they were still together that meant Lanna had somehow talked him out of it—something that Seth had yet to attempt with Grace. She suddenly felt envious of her brother. At least Lanna had put up a fight.
Alec leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Then he snickered and shook his head. “You know what she said to me? After she sat on top of me and pinned me to my chair, that is.”
Grace mouth pulled into a smile at the image. “What?”
“She looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘What are you afraid of? That one day I’ll decide you’re too much work and leave? Because that will never happen. What could happen is that I could die tomorrow from a brain aneurism or some other random thing. So could you. No one knows how long their time in this life will last. You just have to embrace every day and hope and pray that you’ll get another and another. And I hope I get lots of days with you, because I want way more memories than I have right now, Alec Warren. So unless you tell me you don’t care about me, I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.’”
Grace nearly laughed. It was such a Lanna thing to say, and Grace wished she could have been a fly on the wall for that conversation. She could only imagine the look on Alec’s face.
“She was right, you know,” Alec continued. “Today could be it, so we may as well make the most of it.”
If only it were as easy to apply the words as it was to understand them. “I’m glad to hear she talked you down,” Grace said. “Breaking up with Lanna would have been the dumbest thing you could’ve done.”
Alec raised an eyebrow. “Hypocrite.”
“What? No.” Grace frowned. “My situation’s different.”
He shrugged. “What worries you the most? That Seth will one day end up in a wheelchair like me?”
“No, that he’ll end up in a coffin.”
Alec cracked a smile at that. “There is that.”
Grace glanced out the window. “Besides, what I worry about the most is the aftermath. What if something bad happens and he tries to push me out of his life the way you tried to do? What if he changes, too? I just don’t have it in me to relive the last ten years all over again.”
Alec didn’t answer right away. He let the silence grow denser and denser until it felt like a heavy weight around Grace’s shoulders. When she didn’t think she could bear it any longer, he said, “You’re forgetting one thing.”
Grace’s eyes flew to his. “What’s that?”
“That Seth isn’t me.” He held up his hand as if to ward off any arguments. “I’m not saying I condone his recklessness, although I think he’ll tone it down from here on out. But look what happened when he tore his ACL. Did he hole up in his house and wallow? No. He got out, rented a bunch of wheelchairs, and convinced his friends to play wheelchair ball. He’s the type of guy to make the most of any situation. Yes, he’d probably mourn for a little while, but then he’d pick himself up, get that sit-ski and that wheelchair mountain bike, and he’d keep doing what he loves to do. Because that’s who Seth is—the type of person who really will make the most of it.”
Alec let his words sink in then grabbed the bar and lowered himself down once more. “You’re miserable without him, Grace, and I’m sure he’s just as miserable as you. Go talk to him. Tell him to grow up and stop pulling crazy stunts, mail those invitations, and walk down that aisle. You’ll always regret it if you don’t. Take it from someone who knows all about regrets.”
The words seeped into Grace’s heart, warming it and filling it with hope. This was what she’d wanted to hear ever since she’d taken that ring off her finger—a reason to put it back on. Her brother was right. Seth was different.
Grace looked down at her brother with new respect and appreciation. “Regret is a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s such a heavy, yucky feeling, and no one likes to have it hanging around. But at the same time, it has the power to turn people into something wiser and stronger than they were before. Like you. Thank you.”
Tears glistened in Alec’s eyes as he nodded. Then he quickly blinked them away and tightened his fingers around the bar. “Are you ever going to add the rest of the weight? I’m beginning to think that I’m your therapist instead of the other way around.”
THE REST OF the day, Grace felt lighter and happier—more at peace than she’d felt in four days. As she met with the rest of her patients, her smile was genuine and her focus right where it needed to be. On them.
At the end of the day, as she gathered her things together, Cameron poked his head into her office. “Glad to see our little chat made you feel better. I was thinking you should come clubbing with me and Talia tonight and get your mind off things.” He shrugged. “Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone interesting. What do you say?”
It was nice of Cameron to think of her—not that Grace would ever be interested in the type of guy who hung out at a club—but she had something else in mind for tonight. Something that included a guy she was already very much interested in. “Thanks, but I’m going to pass.”
He pointed a finger at her. “Just don’t go and load up on ice cream or something stupid like that. No one’s worth losing that nice figure for.”
Grace nodded, thinking of the pint of Rocky Road ice cream she’d ingested the night before. If only Cameron knew how many times she’d turned to that treat for comfort over the years. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You do that.” With another point of his finger, Cameron backed out of her office. Once he’d disappeared, Grace grabbed her keys and headed out. A smile played on her lips at the prospect of having Seth’s ring on her finger by the night’s end—assuming he still wanted it there.
But before she could find and talk to Seth, Grace had a few things to do. She needed to finally get those invitations off her counter and in the mail and make a quick stop at the nearest bike shop. It was time to get a bike of her own.
The stranger inspected Seth’s mountain bike with the eyes of a novice. In his button-down, collared shirt, the man looked like he belonged more in an accounting office than on a mountain bike. He squatted down, studied the derailleur then glanced at Seth through wire-rimmed glasses. “Does Shimano make a good derailleur? I was told that’s the most important thing to look for on a bike.”
Seth tried to hide his annoyance. Good brakes and shocks were what? Just a perk? From the moment this guy had opened his mouth, it was clear he was a mountain-bike wannabe who knew nothing about the sport and couldn’t tell a high end bike from a Mongoose purchased at Walmart.
“It’s pronounced Shim-aw-no, not Shim-a-no,” Seth clarified. “And yes, they do. The XTR is top of the line. As are the brakes, shocks, wheels, and frame.”
“Why are these pedals so small?” he asked next.
Seth resisted the impulse to pry his bike from the guy’s fingers. Who didn’t know what a click pedal was? A guy who didn’t deserve to own Seth’s bike, no matter how much he was willing to pay. “They’re designed to be used with cleats so your feet stay on the pedals. I have the originals somewhere in my garage and will switch them out.”
The man fiddled with the brakes and even tried to switch the gears. “And you say the brakes and tires are top of the line as well?”
“I upgraded them myself,” Seth mustered. He should have priced his bike what it was worth instead of discounting it for a quick sale. Then maybe someone who actually knew something about mountain biking would have shown up instead of this moron.
“Yourself?” The guy frowned. “Why would you mess with a bike that’s supposedly top of the line?”
“To make it even better,” Seth said. Did he really have to explain that? He grasped his bike by the handlebars, ready to put it safely back inside his garage. He’d find another, more deserving buyer. “Listen, I really don’t think this is the right bike for you. Maybe you should try Baylor Bikes. They’re not far from here and could h
ook you up with something you’d probably trust a little more.”
The man grabbed the handlebars on the opposite side, as if afraid Seth would take it from him. “No, that’s okay. I think I’ll take it.”
He thought? Seth’s patience was about up.
A car drove by, slowed, and pulled into Seth’s driveway. His glance flickered from his bike to the car, then immediately back to the car, where Seth zeroed in on the driver. Grace. Their eyes met through the window, and Seth’s heartbeat sped up. Suddenly, he didn’t care about his bike or who bought it. In fact, he was ready to thrust it at the man and say, “Here, take it. It’s yours.”
Grace left her car behind and was now walking toward him, looking beautiful and kissable and wonderful. She wore the red shirt from their first date—a shirt Seth had come to love—and her hair hung in soft curls around her face. He wanted to crush her to him and kiss her long and hard to make up for all the days he hadn’t been able to.
“What are you doing?” she asked, glancing from the bike to the idiot man.
“Selling my bike.”
“Why?”
Did she really have to ask? “Because it’s dangerous, and I don’t do dangerous things anymore.”
The corners of Grace’s mouth twitched up. “That’s too bad because I’m here to ask for mountain-biking lessons. How are you going to teach me if you don’t have a bike?”
“What?” Seth had never felt more confused. She wanted lessons? Why? She hated the sport.
Grace stuffed her hands into her pockets and shrugged. “I just bought a bike and figured it would be a good idea to learn how to ride better. I was hoping you could be the one to teach me.”
“I’m sorry, you did what?” Seth asked, his forehead crinkling in confusion. Grace had given her ring back on account of a mountain-bike accident, and now she’d gone out and bought a bike on purpose? Nothing was making sense right now.
“I. Bought. A. Mountain. Bike.” Grace emphasized each word. “I’m here to borrow your car so I can go pick it up. Mine doesn’t have a bike rack.” She paused. “Yet.”
Working It Out (A Romantic Comedy) Page 20
