by Elias Raven
Abel looked at me and gave me the once over then the chin.
“Dude you know I hate owing anyone a fucking thing. We always split the bill!” he said. I could see his eyes were glowing and I moved quickly to defuse the situation.
“Abel if you hadn’t convinced me to come up here, we wouldn’t be having the time of our lives. It’s been way too long man and it was my small way of saying thanks. Besides bro, I had to fuck with you a little.” I replied calmly.
Abel smiled and nodded and gave me that look that only he can. It was the look of ok, we are in front of company and our ladies, next time I’ll kick you in the balls prick look.
We left the restaurant with everyone relieved Abel hadn’t gone short fused with asshole sprinkled all around. What I told him was the truth, I did want to say thank you to him and also to Misty and Rhianna and Royston. It was going to be great to pick up a guitar again. I was looking forward to our first practice.
We followed the girls and Royston to their vehicles and piled in and made our way back to Market Street. I was actually looking forward to some downtime with G after the days events. I was tired but it was a good tired. G put her head on my shoulder as we dodged through the early evening traffic. I was looking forward to talking with Rhianna about what shows she had lined up.
She’d mentioned a few warm ups before the main event. I knew I was really fucking rusty. I’d be lucky if my fingers didn’t cramp up when I started playing in Earnest again. That would be fucking embarrassing and I wasn’t going to give Abel the satisfaction of signing like an old rocker past his prime. I needed to get some playing time in and the sooner the better. Maybe Rhianna could have the rest of her band come to her place and we could use the garage studio to do some freestyle jamming or something. My fingers were itching at the thought.
Royston dropped us off on Market Street by our car. We waited for Abel and the girls to join us. About a minute later Rhianna pulled up and dropped off Abel, Gia, Chance and Mia. We gave everyone hugs and told the girls we would see them shortly. Rhianna asked Abel and Gia if they wanted to come over for a nightcap. They both actually yawned and passed saying they were going to crash at the rental and they would hook up with us tomorrow. I had a feeling Abel was going to do the same thing I was and wait till the coast was clear. It was supposed to be a relaxing vacation and in my book, sex with a little domination was one of the best ways to relax.
Chapter 4
~Burnt Norton~
Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
Thus, in your mind. But to what purpose
Disturbing the dust on a bowl of rose-leaves
I do not know.
Excerpt from Four Quartets by T.S. Elliot
Rhianna~ It’s funny what pops in your head over a cup of coffee. I was sitting with Misty in the living room reminiscing, contemplating what the next few days would bring. It was meditation for me. For all of the pretense, for all the rage, for all the anger I cast about and screams I ripped from the heavens. For all the stolen moments that had been taken from me, stripped from my soul I was in the end just me.
Rhianna Raines is what I gave to the world, the image I projected of the badass bitch strutting on stage growling behind the microphone, pin wheeling my arms like the guitarist from The Who. Screaming at the fans as we danced in a give and take of cause and effect that was the most natural thing in the world. It was like waves lapping against my shore or a fist pounding against the door. It was years of honing my craft, kicking and screaming trying to make it to the top. There was a lot of pain as well. I guess that was why I was such a good storyteller. Why I could weave dreams in my words and transport my fans to another world.
Sometimes, I took a brute force approach; I learned that from Abel Gunner. In your face, kick in the front door and blow them away, but other times I wanted to coax them into my world, into the music, into that moment of bliss where everything was perfect. The music, the crowd, everything flowed together seamlessly and we were communicating on a level that was spiritual.
I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but to me music is sacred. It’s my art, it is where I go to pray and speak to the chosen ones. I get what John Lennon meant about The Beatles and their popularity. It was like you were feeding the masses, feeding the five thousand. In my case I was shooting for sixty thousand or more, but Shadow & Flame had played to the five thousand. The gigs were getting bigger, the tickets selling out instantly. I was ready to move up, but I also knew from what the boys had taught me that as I moved up there was a blood sacrifice. I would sacrifice my personal life to the masses; the paparazzi were going to be more incessant, bigger assholes than they already were. Right now I was an up and coming, but once the wave crested and broke it would all change. I think my biggest fear was once I made it would I lose the woman that I was and change like so many others had and become what the people wanted?
It was a razor thin line. Many bands have tried it and lost themselves in the process. I didn’t want to be a victim, pandering to the masses. Yet I wanted to make it. I wanted to stand in front of a quarter of a million people in my dream venue Rio and headline a concert where you couldn’t hear yourself think from the noise of the crowd. Abel told me when he went to Rio that it was life altering. It had completely blown his concept of what a live gig was.
He said it was a fucking circus. There were so many people he couldn’t see the horizon. It was just a moving ocean of bodies screaming and chanting his name. At that moment it was as close to God hood as a man could get and with it came power. The fans were everything; he lived for the moments with them. Gia and Mia owned his heart and soul, but when he stepped on stage and his fist slammed down across the strings, when he stepped up to the mike and started singing he went into another world. He told me I would understand once I got there, what he meant, but I never forgot it. I wanted it, I breathed it, I lived it. I wanted to make it that big.
The sun was rising over the bay; the fog had burnt off long ago. Royston had texted me that he was inbound with the band for some practice in the garage. He said that he had a friend of mine inquire if I would do a sit in for a few songs at a local bar. A quick slip in and out. I wondered who would pique his curiosity enough for him to ask me a favor like that. We hadn’t really played bar gigs in quite a while. Once in awhile we would do a quick in and out, but mostly we had graduated to bigger venues with marquees with our name splayed everywhere, so bar nights were few and far between. Royston was our manager and although I was the band leader, Royston took care of all the business aspects and honestly he had been kicking ass doing it.
He had already texted Abel and Elias and asked them to join us. Abel didn’t need the practice really, the man was a fucking beast on guitar and drove women ape shit mad with his music. Elias had some rust to knock off, I’m sure that’s why Royston wanted us to do a little tune up. He would be out of playing shape, sitting behind a desk and working out was one thing, but all of the little nuances of playing live could really take it out of you.
A car horn in the driveway broke my reverie. I went over to the front door and opened up followed by Misty. The gang was all here and I was ready to lay down some music and see how it sounded. Heck if the boys were up for it, maybe we could record today. It couldn’t hurt? I would ask Abel and Elias, maybe we could do a vault tape or something for later. I started laughing and Mi
sty slipped her arm around my waste.
“What’s so funny?” She asked.
“I was wondering if we could record today’s session, but knowing Abel, I’m going to have to work on Gia to get him to do it!” I said mischievously.
Misty laughed and nodded her head. She already knew that was the truth. Everything was calculated as far as Abel’s career goes. He was a shrewd businessman when it came to the industry. He doesn’t leave bootlegs lying about, if it’s not his best he doesn’t necessarily want it out there for the masses. If it is live, the recording has to be top notch; it’s his brand after all.
I got what he meant, back in the day though a lot of bands would release live albums consistently because the record labels believed it would keep the fans interested. I had a crap load of live records from back in the day. Mostly hard rock and metal, but some old school jazz too. My grandma used to take me to the shows up at The Bowl and The Greek and we would slip backstage afterwards so I could ask the musicians to teach me their tricks. A lot of the legends thought I was a pretty far out kid. I also learned a lot about recording that way, they were tricks I brought into Shadow & Flame when we played live. As the years went by, I really honed our sound to a sharp keen edge. It was wholly our own, there were hints of other bands of other times, like it was classic but modern at the same time. I thought it was fucking perfect myself.
We walked out and greeted everyone. Abel had brought a guitar and so had Elias. My band already had their gear in the garage studio and Misty’s guitar was in a case in the garage so we were all set. Royston unloaded waters and coffee and set up a small table in the corner for everyone along with some pastries. It was what I loved about the guy, his attention to detail. He took good care of us and made sure that anyone visiting felt at ease. Gia, Chance and Mia went and sat in the recording booth with Royston, so they didn’t blow their ears out. Mia was playing on Gia’s lap. Abel made himself right at home, grabbing a small Marshall stack. Misty grabbed the other one. Ace jumped on the drum kit and started warming up. Jezebel didn’t miss a beat and slid next to Ace and plugged into the Fender Bassman and started getting warmed up.
I watched Elias out of the corner of my eye as he pulled his guitar out. He brought his black SG with him. He lovingly opened the case and pulled out his trusty axe. You could see the wear marks on the body and pick guard. He never did anything half assed when he played. That guitar had been his friend for many years and it was good to see it out of the case again.
Royston had already arranged an extra Crate Stack for Elias. Elias opened another case and pulled out his effects pedals. All custom, built to tone his sound. He signaled Royston who made sure the channel was down when he plugged in and then gave him the thumbs up. Abel had a custom shop Fender Stratocaster with him. I loved the skull’s that were painted on the neck, it was a nasty piece of Red over black paint. The guitar was wicked.
He signaled Royston and popped open a case with his pedals as well. As soon as he plugged in he tuned up, we all did at that point. I looked around at my band and friends. FUCK YES.. I was ready. Abel and Elias both looked at me as I reached into my bra and pulled out the set list. I handed copies to everyone.
Abel whistled and looked over at Elias.
“Fuck yes! I haven’t played some of these since I was touring with Insanity. You up for this cupcake?” He asked Elias fucking with him.
Elias response was to give Abel the finger and smile.
“You’re an asshole, but I love you Abel.” He replied at that point we all laughed.
I raised my arm to signal Ace to count us in and that was when the magic happened. Music that had not been played live in years was suddenly flooding my studio space. We tore into old standards like “Skull Fuck” and “Give The Man The Finger.” Jezebel’s bass thundered even as the boys traded off Rhythm and Lead with Misty double filling on Rhythm to really fatten the sound out. Kind of like what Def Leppard and Judas Priest used to do with twin guitars. It was a fat sound. I looked straight ahead as the girls were dancing in the control booth. It was ethereal the wall of sound and fury.
Both guys didn’t miss a beat as they stepped forward alternating vocals and leads, letting me slide in for different verses and choruses. Elias hit a few bad chords and after we finished each song on the list he would go stand with Abel and review the notes and patterns until he had it right in his head.
Ace and Jezebel were both huge fans of Metal Insanity from back in the day and since we played with them, they already knew the sound down pat. Abel didn’t miss a beat as we tore into each song on the list. He was an animal pure and simple. It was great to see him in his element. My band was a well oiled machine, Misty played with everyone, if she got stuck on a part she would ask Elias and Abel, but those moments were few and far between.
My girl knew her shit and she knew how to play. We encored with a song called Submissive. It was one of Abel and Elias’s early ballads and a gem we pulled out from the archive for the show. Misty stepped up with me and we sang background harmony with Jezebel while the guys traded off lines. You would swear we had been a band playing with each other for years it sounded that fucking good. Royston gave us the thumbs up when we finished. The girls were dancing around the sound booth with Baby Mia. We kicked ass and we were ready.
Royston stepped out and talked to us after. He said we would do one more walk through the day of the event and he asked Abel and Elias if they wanted to sneak in for a live concert we had at the Winery and possibly a small bar gig. Before Abel could say anything I told him the lowdown on the winery.
“Shit that fucking sounds right up my alley!” he said gruffly. He looked over at Gia who nodded.
Elias was listening in as Genevieve walked up.
“Wine and kink? Sounds like a full on party all right! It will be like old times in LA Abel!” He said aloud.
Abel laughed and we grabbed beers and headed into the house. Royston had already brought food in and had the dining room table setup with Italian pasta and bread, salad and wine. It was a great way to end the practice and we were all starving, but most of all we were all ready to do the show. The sound and feel was that good. The crowd was going to lose their shit when they heard us. I could taste it, feel it. Misty was as jacked up as I was. Even Royston was smiling. This was going to be big and if it went viral well FUCK YES!
Chapter 5
~Little Gidding~
If you came this way,
Taking any route, starting from anywhere,
At any time or at any season,
It would always be the same: you would have to put off
Sense and notion. You are not here to verify,
Instruct yourself, or inform curiosity
Or carry report. You are here to kneel
Where prayer has been valid. And prayer is more
Than an order of words, the conscious occupation
Of the praying mind, or the sound of the voice praying.
And what the dead had no speech for, when living,
They can tell you, being dead: the communication
Of the dead is tongued with fire beyond the language of the living.
Here, the intersection of the timeless moment.
Excerpt from Four Quartets by T.S. Elliot
Misty~ Fuck yes! That was fucking amazing! My head was still reeling from the practice session. We had torn into that set list with a fucking vengeance and it was balls out kick ass and take fucking numbers good! I took a long pull on my beer. It was what we as musicians live for. I could hardly wait to get up on stage at the Fillmore; the fans were going to lose their shit. Abel and Elias sounded like they did back in the day. Yeah, Elias had to knock off some rust, but the fucker could still shred that SG like nobody’s business. If Gia and Genevieve hadn’t been in the sound room with Royston, I fucking bet we would have blown the curls right out of their hair.
Royston had the sound really dialed out and balanced. He was on his game like nobody’s business. Jezebel�
��s bass was thundering, I thought I was playing next to Geezer for a minute the way she was rolling and slamming against the strings. When I looked over at her Peavey, I realized that she had restrung it with even thicker gauge strings. She really wanted the sound to be fat and damn it sounded killer. We had gone to see Sabbath and Heaven and Hell when they had toured through the area more than once. Royston always had pull and got us tickets and backstage passes. When it came to getting us tickets for gigs or getting us on the waiting list, Royston was the pimp. We never asked how he pulled it off, he just did.
Of course sometimes the bands would pull a fast one and have us slide onstage for an encore with them, but that was living the life. We weren’t headlining, we were just enjoying the music and watching the metal gods do what they do and that is shred, take heads and blow the fucking place up. I think my favorite times were drinking a cold beer with Tony from Sabbath and asking him if a particular story I had heard was true. The same with Ian, we got to see him with Purple. That was fucking epic. We all got trashed on tequila and Royston being a smart ass actually rented a Rolls Royce to take us to the show. Being smart he got a regular Lincoln Town Car to take us home afterwards, I think he knew we were going to go all in with the partying that night. Those were good times.
I sauntered across the living room and wrapped my arms around my girl. Rhianna grabbed my hands as we partied with our friends. Elias and Abel were in an animated conversation, I could tell they were talking about old times at UCLA. Gia and Genevieve interjected and laughed, and the baby was playing on Chances lap. It was nothing outrageous. In fact if you took a picture, you’d find a bunch of laid back friends chillin and enjoying the moment.
I leaned in letting my lips graze Rhianna’s neck. She shivered. Yeah, we were going to have fun later. I smiled wickedly at the naughty thoughts flashing in my mind.
