by Adele Abbott
“What are you doing in here?”
“The twins roped me in. They’re both so taken with the pups that they wanted another day off. That would have left them short-handed in here today, so they asked if I’d mind covering for them.”
“They should have given me a call. I could have helped out for a few hours.”
“That’s what I suggested to them, but they said—err—that you were probably too busy.”
“What did they really say? It’s okay. I can take it.”
“I don’t like to say.”
“Come on. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.”
“They said you were a liability behind the counter, but I’m sure they didn’t mean it.”
“I’m sure they did. It’s okay. I can’t say I miss working behind that counter. Have you been busy?”
“Not particularly. I’m due for a break. Why don’t I join you? What are you having? Your usual?”
“Is Christy’s bakery back in business?”
“Yes. They’re fully operational again now.”
“Great. In that case, I’ll definitely have my usual, please.”
Aunt Lucy got one of the other assistants to cover for her, and then she came to join me. Needless to say, the muffin was every bit as delicious as usual.
“How’s the P.I. business, Jill?”
“Busier than I can remember. I’m working on a very strange case in the human world. Perfectly normal, healthy young women are going insane overnight for no apparent reason.”
“How terrible.”
“It is. Plus, I’m working on a case for a number of ghosts in GT who have been cheated out of their wages. And, earlier today, I was visited by a delegation of pixies who have requested I visit their king early next week. It appears there’s something he needs my help with.”
“You really are busy. I don’t know how you do it. You’d better have another cake, to keep your strength up.”
“Go on then. But only because you’re twisting my arm.”
***
I hadn’t fed Winky since that morning, so I thought I’d better drop in at the office before heading home. After walking along the now familiar path through the jungle, I found a message scribbled on a slip of paper on Mrs V’s desk. The message read: There are no messages.
When I went through to my office, I got the shock of my life. Seated on the sofa was an old man—he was seventy if he was a day. He was wearing an eye patch, and was eating salmon straight from the tin. There was a newspaper open on the sofa beside him, and he appeared to be checking the racing results.
“I knew I should have bet on the favourite,” he grumbled to himself.
“Excuse me! What do you think you’re doing?”
“Just checking my bets. I knew I should have put a fiver on Freddy’s Dream.”
“Never mind Freddy’s Dream. You’re trespassing. This is my office.”
He laughed. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”
“No. I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“We see each other most days. Most weekdays, at least.”
“I think I’d know if I’d seen you before.”
“My name is Walter, but you know me as Winky.” He laughed again.
“Did you just say—?”
“Winky, yes. I told you the other day that I was really a shape-shifter. Didn’t you believe me?”
I had to lean back against my desk, otherwise I would have collapsed. “You’re not seriously telling me that you’re my cat?”
“That’s precisely what I’m telling you.”
“And that you’ve been living in this office with me all this time, and I had no idea that you were really—?”
“Walter. That’s right.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
Just then, someone laughed. The sound came from under the sofa. Moments later, Winky—the real one—came rolling out. He was laughing so hard that he had to hold his sides.
“Sorry, Walt.” He managed eventually. “I tried to hold it in, but that was sooo funny.”
“I knew that it was a trick all along,” I said.
“No, you didn’t.” Winky wiped tears from his eye. “You fell for it hook, line and salmon.”
“I’m going home.” I started for the door.
“Priceless!” Winky shouted after me. “I’m so glad I got it on video.”
***
“And you laughed at me when I was practising for the egg and spoon race?” Jack scoffed.
I’d lined up some empty boxes at one end of the table, and was trying to knock them over with the darts from my toy gun.
“This is different.”
“How is it different?”
“Egg and spoon is a joke, but paintball is deadly serious. We can’t let Kathy and Peter win.”
“You’re useless.” He laughed. “You haven’t hit one of those boxes yet.”
“There must be a draught in here which is taking the darts offline.”
“Here. Let me have a go.”
He knocked the box over with his first shot.
“No one likes a show-off.”
Chapter 16
“Hey! Do you mind?” Jack ducked just in time. “That nearly hit me.”
The rubber-sucker dart had almost grazed his head before it stuck onto the fridge door.
“You were standing in front of my target.”
“Why did you put the target on the fridge? I need the milk.”
“Hurry up, then. You’re costing me valuable practice time.”
“Don’t you think maybe you’re taking this a little too seriously? It’s only a game.”
“Paintball is not a game! It’s deadly serious. This is you and me versus Kathy and Peter, and losing isn’t an option.”
“Thank goodness you’re not competitive, or you’d be unbearable. Incidentally, have you seen the weather?”
I’d been so busy practising that I hadn’t even looked out of the window.
The rain was bucketing down.
“How long has it been doing this?”
“Most of the night. I’m surprised you didn’t hear it. It’s going to be pretty muddy.”
“We’ll just have to finish them off quickly, then.”
Kathy and Peter had been watching for us through their front window. Peter made a dash for our car; Kathy put up an umbrella, and walked down the drive.
“Shall we go bowling instead?” she said.
“I’d be up for that,” Jack quickly agreed.
“No!” I objected. “We’re going paintballing. That’s what we agreed. And besides, we’ve already paid.”
“I thought you’d be the first to want to cancel,” Kathy said. “You hate it when it’s muddy.”
“This is different.”
“Jill’s been practising non-stop for the last couple of days.” Jack grinned.
“No, I haven’t. It was only a few minutes here and there.”
“Why don’t we go to the paintball place, and see if it’s even open?” Peter, ever the sensible one, suggested. “It might be closed because of the weather.”
That’s what we did, and when we arrived at Red Strike Paintball, we were in for a bit of a surprise.
“Look at the sign.” Jack pointed. “They have an outdoor and an indoor course. Which did you book, Peter?”
“I don’t know. Outdoor, I think. Let’s go inside and see what they say.”
It turned out that we were booked on the outdoor course, which was still open despite the weather. Even so, they gave us the option to swap to indoor because no one had booked that slot.
“I vote for indoor,” Kathy said.
“Me too.” Jack raised his hand.
“And me.” Peter did the same.
“Whatever.” I shrugged. “It makes no difference to me. It isn’t going to take long for us to finish you off either way.”
“You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?” Kathy said.
“Ve
ry. We’re going to take you two down, no problem.”
“Do you want to put your money where your mouth is?” Kathy challenged. “How about a fiver?”
“Make it a tenner.”
“You’re on.”
We were shown to the changing rooms where we put on the one-piece camouflage suits; they were not very flattering. Next, we were issued a helmet, and face mask.
“Welcome to Red Strike Paintball,” the man in charge said. “Have any of you played before?”
Played? He made it sound like it was some kind of game. Didn’t he realise how serious this was?
None of us had ‘played’ before, so he ran through the rules. Boring! Rules are for losers.
“If you get hit, you’re out. Okay?”
We all nodded.
“The last team standing is the winner. Any questions?”
“What’s the record for the fastest win?” I asked.
“I have no idea.” He seemed surprised by the question. “Seeing as you’ve decided to play as teams, two of you should enter the door marked ‘A’ over there. The other two should enter through door ‘B’.”
“We’ll be the A-Team,” I said.
“You can pick up your guns and ammo belt just inside the door. They must not be taken out of that room. Understood? Good. Okay then. Off you go. You have until one team wins, or thirty minutes, whichever is the sooner.”
“Five minutes should be long enough,” I said, as I led Jack to door ‘A’.
Inside the room was a maze of walls and rocks, constructed from a mix of wood and plastic. The floor was covered in artificial turf. Jack and I grabbed our guns and ammo, and then dived for shelter behind a low wall. We couldn’t see Kathy or Peter from where we were, but I could hear muffled voices coming from the far side of the room.
“You flank left, and I’ll flank right,” I whispered.
“I thought we’d stay together.”
“Those are loser’s tactics. That’s exactly what Kathy and Peter will do, but we’ll be waiting for them, and take them by surprise.”
“Are you sure that will work?”
“Of course I am. I’m going to make a dash for that next wall over there. Cover me.”
“Cover you? Oh? Err—okay.”
“I’m relying on you. As soon as I break cover, I’ll be vulnerable, so you need to lay down covering fire. Got it?”
“Covering fire? Err—yeah. Got it.”
He wasn’t exactly filling me with confidence, but I was fairly sure the opposition were not close enough to do any harm, so I was prepared to take the risk.
“On one.” I raised three fingers. “Three, two, one!”
I broke cover, made a dash to the next wall, and dived down behind it.
“Now you!” I half-mouthed, half-gestured to Jack.
I counted him down, and then readied my gun in case I caught sight of either Kathy or Peter. On my signal, Jack made a rush for the wall located at the opposite side of the room from where I was now positioned. So far, so good. When Kathy and Peter showed their faces, we’d take them by surprise, and annihilate them. That tenner was as good as mine.
Moments later, I heard footsteps, so I gestured to Jack to be ready. He gave me the thumbs up.
Kathy suddenly appeared from behind a wall, just in front of Jack.
“Get her!” I yelled, and he opened fire.
What? You cannot be serious! What was that supposed to be? The paint pellets hit the floor and the wall, but went nowhere near Kathy, who ducked out of sight again.
I gave up my cover, and dashed over to join Jack.
“What were you playing at?” I yelled. “You had a clear shot.”
“She took me by surprise. I didn’t have time to line up my shot.”
“You’re supposed to be a policeman.”
“I don’t carry a gun. I’ve never fired one before.”
“I told you that you should have practised.”
Just then, I saw something move on the opposite side of the room. It was Peter, but he’d disappeared before I could get off a shot.
“I think I saw something.” Jack stood up before I could stop him.
Two paint pellets exploded as they hit him in the back. I glanced over the top of the wall just long enough to see Kathy; she had a huge grin on her face.
“They got me.” Jack slumped down.
“A lot of use you are. Looks like it’s down to me.”
I was on my own, and outflanked. If I took cover from Peter, I’d be open to a shot from Kathy, and vice versa. I’d been totally outmanoeuvred, and it was all Jack’s fault. Any moment now, I’d feel the thud of a paint pellet, and it would be game over.
The only thing I could do was accept my fate, and take the defeat in good part.
What? Of course I’m joking.
I cast the ‘sleep’ spell on Jack, then made myself invisible. Unseen, I crept from behind the wall, and positioned myself at a point midway between where Kathy and Peter were located. I watched as Kathy counted down on her fingers. On her signal, they broke cover, and charged towards the wall behind which they expected to find me, cowering.
I quickly reversed the ‘invisible’ spell, and now had them both in my sights.
“Surprise!”
Before they had chance to turn around, let alone get off a shot, I’d plastered them both with paint pellets.
“How did you get there?” Kathy stared in disbelief.
“What can I tell you? I’m a tactical genius.”
“Well played, Jill.” Peter was gracious in defeat.
“She cheated.” Kathy fumed.
“How did I cheat? I just out-thought you. You aren’t going to be a bad loser, are you?” I grinned. “That’s ten pounds you owe me, loser!”
When we’d changed and were back in the car, Kathy was still moaning. “I still don’t understand how you managed to get around the back of us. I would have seen you.”
“But clearly you didn’t. It’s called stealth tactics. If you like, I’ll give you some tuition before the next time we play.”
“Who says we’ll be playing again?”
“Surely you want to try to get your own back, don’t you? We could make the wager twenty pounds next time.”
When we dropped them back at their house, Kathy was still muttering under her breath about my underhand tactics.
“We’ll see you both tomorrow for the barbecue,” Peter said, as he got out of the car.
“What barbecue?” I asked Jack as we set off for home.
“Didn’t I mention it? I thought seeing as how they were coming around to see the sandpit, we might as well make a day of it. I’ve invited a few of the neighbours too.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“Sorry. I meant to mention it, but you’ve been so engrossed in your shooting practice, I didn’t like to disturb you.”
“All that practice paid dividends, didn’t it?” I waved the tenner that Kathy had given to me.
“I still don’t understand how you managed to beat the two of them. I thought you were cornered.”
“If you hadn’t decided to take a nap after you got shot, you would have seen.”
“I don’t know what came over me. One minute I was wide awake, and the next, I was out like a light.”
“It’s a good job I’m a master tactician. We should play again soon. It was fun.”
Jack pulled up outside the corner shop.
“Why have you stopped here?” I said.
“I thought I’d get some pop for the kids for tomorrow. I haven’t got any money with me, though. Do you have any?”
“No.”
“What about the tenner you won off Kathy?”
“You can’t have that. I’m going to frame it, and have a small plaque engraved. That way, I can show it to them every time they come over.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He snatched the banknote out of my hand.
“Hey, come back here with my trophy.”
&n
bsp; Chapter 17
It was Sunday, which meant I didn’t have to get up for work. It was such a fantastic feeling to realise that I could close my eyes, snuggle under the covers, and go back to sleep for as long as I liked.
“Jill! It’s time to get up!”
“Go away, Jack. I’m asleep.”
“Come on, lazybones.”
“It’s Sunday, in case you’d forgotten.”
“It’s the barbecue, in case you’d forgotten.”
Oh no! The barbecue. I had forgotten, or at least I’d tried to.
“Is it still raining? If it’s raining, we really should cancel it.”
“The sun is shining; it’s a clear, blue sky. The weather forecast says it’s going to be like this all day. Come on! We have lots to do.”
“How come we have lots to do? All I did was ask Kathy, Peter and the kids to come around to see the sandpit. You were the one who decided to invite the whole neighbourhood over for a barbecue.”
“I haven’t invited everyone. Just Jen and Blake, Tony and Clare and Megan and her boyfriend—what’s his name?”
“Dracula.”
“There’s no need to be so bitchy, Jill. I’m sure he’s perfectly nice. Now, are you going to get up or do I have to drag you out of there?”
“Why don’t you get back into bed? I’ll make it worth your while.”
“Get up, now!”
Whatever happened to the romance?
Jack spent the whole morning running around like a headless chicken. I spent the whole morning making encouraging noises, in between yawns.
Megan and Ryan were the first to arrive, just before midday.
“We brought this for you.” Ryan handed me a bottle.
For a horrible moment, I thought he’d brought a bottle of synthetic blood, but then I realised it was red wine.
“Thanks.”
“Are we the first ones here?” Megan asked.
“Yeah. The others should be here soon. You’re both looking well.”
“No thanks to Ryan.” She shot him a look.
“It’s not my fault,” he protested.
Megan turned to me. “I was doing really well with that iron supplement. I haven’t felt so good in years, but now Ryan reckons we shouldn’t take any more of it.”
