by Anna Hackett
He wasn’t going to touch her.
She bit her lip, her shoulders slumping. “I can see the ‘no’ in your face.”
“Sienna—”
She shook her head, some curls escaping from her ponytail to frame her face. “Forget it, Theron. I think I’d just like to suffer in silence.”
Dammit. When she tried to move away from him, he gripped her thigh and held her in place. “We don’t fit.”
She tilted her head, studying him. “I disagree.”
“I’m not the right kind of guy for you.”
“You don’t think I deserve a steady, quiet, grounded guy? Who knows me better than anyone else? Who I care about?”
He blew out a breath. “I told you I was adopted.”
She frowned and nodded.
“My birth mother was a prostitute and a drug addict.”
Sienna gasped. “That’s terrible. I’m glad you ended up with your parents.”
“I was with her for five years, Sienna.” He looked down at the hand on her thigh. “I have her hands. Big hands. And she had this horrible laugh.” He forced his gaze back to hers. “They took me off her when she tried to sell me.”
“Sell you?” Horror was all over her pretty features.
Yeah, in Sienna’s big Italian family, kids didn’t get sold by their mothers.
Now hot color flooded her cheeks. “She tried to get rid of you? To sell her child? That’s reprehensible!”
Theron let out a harsh laugh. “She wasn’t trying to get rid of me. She was trying to sell me for sex. To men who liked little boys.”
Now, Sienna’s face went white. Her hand clamped over his. “No.”
“Children’s Services got me out before anything happened. That’s how I ended up with my parents. My real parents.”
Sienna released a breath. “That just makes me more proud of the man you’ve made yourself, Theron. Not less.”
Damn. “I have this darkness inside me, Sienna. It’s not good or bad, it just is. You have no darkness. You’re good and—”
“Sweet. Ugh. I get it.” Her fingers dug into his. “I’m not this paragon of light and virtue you’ve made me into, Theron. You know me. I fight, I get covered in blood and gore, and contrary to what you might think, I have sex. I like it.”
“I like rough sex, Sienna. That’s my preference. That’s what turns me on. Regular sex…it’s no more exciting to me than jerking off.”
She blinked. “Lots of people like rough—”
He shook his head. “I don’t mean against the wall or doing it doggy style. I mean places most people don’t go. I mean holding a woman down, spanking her ass until it’s pink, I mean tying her up.”
Her eyes went round. “You’re into BDSM.”
“No.” He cursed. “I couldn’t care less about all the rules and complications. I just know I like it rough.”
“Why?” she asked quietly. “Why do you like it?”
He shrugged, feeling like he was fucking walking naked through the dining room at the Enclave. “Does there have to be a why? Sure, life started out shaky, but I had a great family, parents loved each other. I just knew pretty early I liked things a little different when I jacked off while imagining tying up my first girlfriend and ordering her to go down on me.”
Sienna swallowed. He saw her trying to process everything and he was so damned glad not to see horror and disgust on her face.
“Do you imagine doing that to me?”
He jerked. Jesus Christ. “Sienna…it doesn’t matter. We aren’t going there. You’re my friend, one of the closest I’ve ever had. I won’t touch you.”
Beneath his hand, her leg tensed. “Maybe I’ll like it.”
Quiet words that burrowed under his skin and speared into his gut. He wanted. Oh, yeah, he wanted. But he yanked on the leash he’d put on his desire for Sienna. It was fraying, but it held.
“Show me, Theron,” she murmured.
And the leash unraveled a little more, holding on by the tiniest thread. No. He wouldn’t touch her, but he could still take care of her, give her something, even if he tortured himself in the process. Just this once.
He let his fingers brush a small circle on her thigh. He watched her squirm a little, her breathing increasing.
“Me touching you turns you on?” he asked, his voice barely more than a growl.
“Yes,” the answer came out of her in a rush.
He loved that she was so responsive. “Are you wet?”
She licked her lips, her eyes darkening. “Yes.”
“Show me.”
She hesitated for a second.
“Show me, Sienna.” He let the command bleed into his voice.
She let her legs fall open even wider. She stared at him, waiting for his next order.
Fuck, his cock was hard. He stared at the juncture of her thighs, that sweet part of her hidden by that damn scrap of cotton. Ignoring the voice screaming at him to get up and take a dive into the cold water nearby, he stayed right where he was. “Pull your panties aside.”
Her breathing was ragged now, and her hand traveled down her taut belly before reaching the black cotton. She pushed it aside and he hungrily looked at her. She was pretty and pink, and wet and glistening. He wished the light was better so he could see more of her.
“So pretty.” His cock was as hard as steel and throbbing under his armor. Need pounded through him and he forced himself to focus on her. “Touch yourself.”
This time she didn’t hesitate. Her finger moved through her folds, sliding up to circle her clit.
“That’s it.” God, he wished it was his hand on her, his mouth. “You like that I’m watching you, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Her touch grew bolder and she started rubbing herself vigorously.
He sucked in a breath. “Put a finger inside yourself.”
Sienna arched a little, sliding a digit inside her. Her gasp echoed in Theron’s ears. This was Sienna. His Sienna. He’d imagined the sound of her gasp and cries so many times. “How’s that feel?”
“Full. Good.”
He’d fill her more. Stretch her more. He easily imagined the feeling of sliding inside her. “Faster. Rub your clit.”
She did as he ordered, her hips moving. “I’m close.” Her white teeth bit down on her plump lip.
“Come, Sienna. Come for me.”
She bit down harder, moaning. Then her back arched and her body shook as she came.
She was so damn gorgeous. Theron forced himself to stay where he was, letting the aching throb of his cock be his punishment for letting things go this far.
When she finally blinked and looked at him, he saw her gaze was hot and slumberous.
He shot to his feet. If he didn’t move, he’d touch her. “I’ll go clean up. Then we’ll eat.”
He headed for the water. He needed to dunk his head. Hell, maybe his entire body.
“That’s it?”
Sienna’s voice made him pause. Fuck. He should never have done this. He didn’t look back at her, his hands clenching into fists. “That’s all I have to offer you.”
“You are so damn stubborn, Theron.”
He heard her footsteps, and then he felt her push up against his back, her full breasts pressing into him.
“When are you going to stop lying to yourself? You want me.”
“I care about you. About us and our friendship.” He could smell the sweet smell of her. Not quite vanilla, but something else that made him think of baking and delicious things. His control, already stretched thin, wavered.
“We both want to be more than friends, and you know it.” Her hands smoothed up his arms. “You enjoyed that little moment we shared. I enjoyed it. I want you to show me more.”
Theron spun fast and heard her gasp. He gripped her chin, forcing her gaze up to his. He had to do something to get her to back off. Because it wouldn’t take much to drive him over the edge. Then he’d be pushing her down into the dirt and taking her every way he wanted t
o.
“I might play with good girls, but they don’t do it for me.”
He felt her stiffen.
“For me, being with a sweet, sexy thing like you is just foreplay. It doesn’t hit me, not deep down where it matters.”
She flinched and pulled away from him.
As he stared at her face, he knew that once again he’d wounded her. Far worse than the graze on her side.
He turned and stomped down to the water. Crouching down, he splashed the cool liquid onto his face. He wanted to dive in, but he wouldn’t risk it. He looked up at the top of the ravine, lost in the darkness above. Who knew where the raptors were? He wouldn’t leave Sienna unprotected.
Besides, he couldn’t risk being naked around her.
When he headed back to their makeshift camp under the overhang, she was dressed and sitting with her back against the rock, her knees drawn up to her chest. She was munching on the tasteless field rations. Another packet was sitting near his things.
“You rest first,” he said. “I’ll take first watch.”
There were no smiles or teasing remarks. She simply nodded. When she’d finished eating, she found a flat spot on the ground, turned away from him, and faced the rock.
Theron sat nearby and clicked off the flashlight. He stared out into the night. He’d hurt her. The very thing he’d wanted to avoid.
Shit, she messed him up and left him so turned around he didn’t know which way he was facing.
The hours ticked by, and the night turned surprisingly cool. It was the middle of summer, and he’d expected it to be warm.
He heard a small noise and looked over to see that Sienna was shivering. He stared upward, telling himself to leave her. Calling himself all kinds of names, he made his way over to her and lay down beside her. He curled his body around her.
“Theron?” Her voice was drenched in sleep.
“Just rest.”
She stayed still for a moment, but didn’t pull away. Then he heard her breathing even out again. He tightened his arm on her. She was so small and so tempting and so damn trusting.
Holding her, he stared at the rock wall and fought for the last dregs of his control that were slowly crumbling away to nothing.
Chapter Seven
Sienna watched the sunrise, and scanned the trees, even as her mind remained lost in her thoughts.
Theron had woken her during the night so they could switch shifts. She’d watched as the eastern rim of the ravine had slowly turned a faint pink, then orange, and then finally day had beaten back the night. He was asleep, sitting up and leaning against the rock wall behind her.
Right now, she didn’t even want to look at him.
I might play with good girls, but they don’t do it for me. His words had been echoing around in her head for hours. She was attracted to him, felt something deeper for him, but most of all, she wanted him to be happy. If she couldn’t make him happy…
She sighed. They all deserved to find some bright piece of shiny in this shitty world they had to call home. A part of her prayed that they would find a way to finally drive the Gizzida away, but another part of her knew what their odds were. And that meant they all needed to find some pleasure in the present—to help get them through…and perhaps because that was all the good they were going to get.
Dammit, she was melancholy this morning. It was time she turned her gaze away from Theron and let their relationship settle back into what they’d had.
Something made her glance up into the sky, and she caught a faint glimmer. A Hawk was incoming.
She turned around to wake Theron, and saw that he was already sitting up, eyes open and staring into the sky as well.
“Looks like our ride’s here.” Sienna stood, gathering their meager gear.
“Sienna—”
The low rumble of his voice scraped painfully over her skin. She shook her head. “No need to say anything, Big T. I heard you.” Loud and clear.
She strode out from under the overhang. She didn’t want to hear any excuses or apologies. She just wanted to get back to the Enclave and have a hot shower.
The Hawk hovered above the trees, and two zip lines dropped down to them. Sienna clipped one of them onto her belt. Moments later, she was zipping up toward the quadcopter, Theron right behind her. They both climbed aboard.
A blond head poked out from the cockpit. “Morning,” Finn Erickson said cheerfully. Then he raised a brow, clearly taking in their serious faces. “Rough night?”
“You could say that.” Sienna moved to one of the seats in the front row and dropped down, not looking at Theron. “We fought off raptors, fell down a cliff, bled everywhere, and spent the night outside.”
Finn winced. “Fair enough. Let’s get you home.” He ducked back into the cockpit.
She heard Theron settle in behind her, and then the Hawk was lifting up and banking left. She closed her eyes. Theron had drawn blood with his comments, and now she knew how he really felt.
It was a quiet trip back to the Enclave. Sienna managed to doze briefly, and before she knew it, they were lowering straight down through the retractable doors into the Hawk hangar bay.
She didn’t wait for Theron. Sienna leaped up and shoved the side door open. She jumped out, to find Roth waiting for them.
“Are you both okay?”
Sienna nodded. “Can’t wait for a shower and some decent food.”
Roth’s shrewd gaze switched from Sienna to Theron, and back again. “You sure?”
Sienna nodded. “Just scrapes. Everyone else is okay? You guys made it back in one piece?”
“Yeah. Still no word on the oura, though.”
Right at that moment, Sienna was too tired to care. “I’m going to check in with Medical. I’ll see you later.” She didn’t look at Theron as she strode out of the hangar bay.
Moving on autopilot, she stopped at Medical and let one of the nurses check her graze, then she headed back to her quarters.
She loved her room, and had made it as homey as she could. A while ago, she’d found a framed picture of the Rome skyline that she kept on the wall. In fact, there were a number of little knickknacks she’d collected. At first, picking things up while out on a mission had felt wrong. But now, she thought of it as a way to honor those who hadn’t made it. She had a cute little plush winged dragon, a beautiful carved statue of a ballerina, a set of candles she loved burning, and an action figure of some futuristic soldier from a game. His armor looked a lot like what the squad soldiers wore, and his tough face had reminded her of Theron.
She turned her attention away from her décor, and headed for her bathroom. She stripped off, and gratefully stepped under the hot water, thankful for the Enclave’s plentiful supply. She spent a long time letting the water beat down over her head. It helped her to not think of anything. To not think of the hot look in Theron’s eyes as he demanded she touch herself. The way he watched as she’d come…
I might play with good girls, but they don’t do it for me.
Ugh. She shut off the water, and toweled herself dry. How the hell was she supposed to grab some sleep now, when she knew she’d just see Theron in her dreams, watching as she touched herself. She’d just wrapped herself in a towel, when she heard the comm unit by her bed chime.
She hurried out and pressed a button. “Hello?”
“Heard you did some camping.”
The deep rumble with a touch of New Zealand in it made her smile. “Hi, Hemi. The camping was not by choice.”
“Can’t say I like the hard ground or field rations much, myself. Hey, you were down for teaching some of the teens climbing with me today. I’ll understand if you’re not up for it—”
It was just the distraction she needed. “No problem. Let me get dressed, and I’ll meet you in the gym.”
“You are a trooper, sweet thing. See you there.”
When Sienna strode into the gym, a group of teenagers were huddled by the climbing wall. Hemi was there, and should have looked me
nacing and intimidating, with his massive muscles and numerous tattoos. But the big guy was grinning, and some of the teens were joking with him. A couple of the girls were even eyeing his ass and giggling.
“Hi, Sienna.”
She stopped to smile at the young girl. Clare was a sixteen-year-old that Hell Squad had rescued from some underground train tunnels in the city. Sienna remembered that the girl had been painfully thin, and so timid when she’d arrived at Blue Mountain Base. But she’d started coming out of her shell since they’d arrived at the Enclave.
A boy of about the same age stepped up beside them. Leo was Clare’s best friend. They’d survived the tunnels together, and went everywhere together ever since. Leo had started to fill out, hinting at the man he was growing into.
“Hi, Clare. Hi, Leo.”
“You’ve been out on a mission?” Leo asked.
She nodded. “Yep. Theron and I had a small issue chasing down a raptor, and had to spend the night in the mountains.”
Clare smiled shyly. “I miss the mountains sometimes.”
“I know how you feel, Clare.” Sienna moved over to the climbing chalk and coated her hands. “Ready to do some climbing?”
Leo nodded. “Yes. I want to improve my skills. Hemi’s brother is giving me carbine lessons down at the firing range after this.”
“Tane?”
Leo shook his head. “Ah…no, he scares me a little. Manu.”
Sienna smiled. “Manu doesn’t scare you? He’s even bigger than Tane and Hemi.” And ran the firing range with an iron fist. He’d been a berserker, but had been injured on a mission and lost his leg. It had put him off the squad, but it didn’t keep the man down.
“Hemi and Manu are…less intense,” Leo finished. “And Theron’s been giving me boxing lessons. He’s a tough teacher.”
“He’s given me a few lessons, too,” Clare said. “He works with a few of the kids.”
That was Theron, spending time with these kids who’d lost everyone. “What’s with all the lessons?” Sienna asked.
Clare wrinkled her nose. “Leo wants to join the squads.”
Leo lifted his chin. “I know I’m not old enough, or had enough training. But one day. I want to help and I want to fight.”
