This arrangement still seemed a little strange to me, but it was becoming more comfortable by the day. Not only did Aurek and Seron need each other, I think they also needed me. I had to admit that Aurekdel had a point about authority; my father was not always the strongest of kings and Gaermon fell under his watch, while Rin had run away and I still worried about him now.
But a relationship like this needed balance. Seron needed to know that he could have me the same ways Aurekdel did.
Seron placed his hands on my shoulders and walked me back toward the bed. The back of my knees gently bumped the edge. He urged me back into the soft furs and pulled my sash open again, opening my gown to admire my bare skin.
He kissed me, slow and deep, moving carefully onto the bed near me. He was so big and strong, I did worry a little that he might get caught up in the moment and hurt me. “Careful,” I whispered furtively.
He slipped an arm under my back, lifting my head a little, cradling me as our mouths matched pace, lips opening wide and then drawing almost closed before beginning again.
I felt Aurek’s hands stroke my thighs, and I parted for him. A moment later, as Seron’s tongue stroked into my mouth, so I felt Aurek’s tongue stroke deep across my clit and around my entrance.
Seron laced his hands with mine, kissing my neck now, then back to my mouth, and Aurek’s lips and tongue skillfully explored the spot between my legs, my desire rising. When Seron let go of one of hands, I drew it to my own breasts and toyed with my nipples. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they touched them after all.
Seron shifted position, reading my signals of increasing openness, presenting his cock to me. I wrapped my hand around it, giving it a stroke and feeling it throb under my hand. It seemed like a lot to handle. I tentatively opened my lips around its girth just as Aurek’s tongue flicked hard across my clit.
“Ahhmm…” The cry of pleasure was somewhat gagged by the thick flesh in my mouth.
Aurek growled with desire upon hearing that. Seron clutched my head and slowly pushed in a little deeper. I tried to wrap my lips and fold my tongue around him tight, like my handmaidens suggested.
I could feel him straining. I could feel how he wanted to fuck me until I was choking on him. But at the same time, he didn’t, and I knew he wouldn’t. Feeling his raw desire, held back on every short stroke, paired with Aurek hammering on my own sweet spots over and over, I was in an agony of pleasure. My own moans and grunts got louder and louder as I realized it was how Aurek saw what was being done to me, along with his hand stroking my quivering thigh. His right hand, I realized, he was using to stroke his own length.
I couldn’t believe I was in such a position and that I was more excited than repelled. I suppose I’d always been curious about sex, even though no one would talk about it much to a princess who could never marry. I knew my brother was having sex with other men and Father was angry; he aways called it “rutting”, which sounded dirty, but even when Rin was chastened by a lecture, he also seemed emboldened and kind of proud of whatever it was he was doing.
I could see why Oszin didn’t want to be here. He was…nobler than this, I thought.
“I want you,” Seron panted. “All of you. All of you. Yes. Fuck…”
And I love him. I love Oszin…
I started to feel tired and achy and unsure, all at once, and I didn’t know how I could ever resolve it.
“Himika?” Aurek’s voice was sharp, like he’d suddenly noticed a stiffness in me. “What’s wrong? Is he hurting you?”
Seron reluctantly drew out of my mouth.
“No. I’m sorry. Please…continue.”
Seron raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think so, Princess, not if you’re in pain.”
“Seron can take care of himself,” Aurekdel said. “We both can, until your fertile cycle is over and we can resume our usual activities.”
I never expected to feel this way either. I could see frustration on both of their faces and I wanted to satisfy them. I thought I would only be thinking of Oszin when I was with them. I was thinking of Oszin, but I also realized that if I was with Oszin, I’d be thinking of them.
There really is no solution except to convince Oszin.
At the same time, my body felt so feeble. Even if Oszin was here, I had to have so many rules placed around me, just like when I was at home. Aurekdel was being so careful not to get me pregnant, when for any other queen, that would have been my most important job. I wasn’t like the priestess. I couldn’t really handle three men at once.
“Damn it!” I cried. “I still want…more.”
“She’s even more impatient than I am,” Aurek said to Oszin. “Maybe you need a lesson in patience.”
“No, I definitely don’t want that.”
“Do you want the night to be boring?” Aurek asked.
“No…”
“Stay right where you are,” Aurek said, taking my hand and guiding it between my legs, so my fingers felt my own slickness. “And give Seron something nice to look at.”
It was unfamiliar to touch myself there, but Aurek’s commands strangely made me want to obey them. He knew just what to say to excite me. I stroked myself with my fingers.
“You must be so close, Seron.” Aurek put his hand around Seron’s cock.
“What the hell, Aurek?” Seron’s blush was almost violet tinged around his ears.
“Look at her,” Aurek said. “Just her…” His voice had that soft, confident growl that made me feel helpless and eager, and seeing his hand wrapped around Seron’s cock, the sight seemed just for me. I rubbed my clit faster, my other hand reaching back to clutch at the furs.
“Ungh…” Seron started coming almost right away, as if against his will, his seed spilling out on my bare stomach. I don’t know why it felt so good to feel the loss of his control all over me, hot and unbidden, with Aurek’s hand tight around him. I wanted to stroke myself harder, but my arm was already starting to get weak.
I had to stop, panting. Seron was panting too. He gently ran his own hand over his cock, as if taking back ownership of it.
“You bastard,” he murmured.
But I don’t think he disliked it either.
I never knew what would happen on nights like this. Would Aurek tell Seron to take charge? Would he bring Oszin into the room over his protests? He was, himself, a chameleon; he easily navigated the waters of handing the reins to someone else and then seizing them back, taking pleasure or giving it. He seemed very good at reading us, even below the surface.
When I realized this, I knew once and for all that he was nothing like the Emperor. Nothing at all.
Yes, Emperor Leonidas could be smooth and charming and arrogant.
But he never read my signals. He never cared what I wanted. Everything was about him.
Aurekdel was in fact, the opposite. In the few weeks I’d been here, his greatest pleasure seemed to be in making everyone around him happy and relaxed. He tried to let me have Oszin at my side. He offered me foods from home but had taken nothing of my dowry for himself except some textiles for new clothing. He arranged parties for his people with dancers and performers he couldn’t even see. He faithfully studied books and attended every council meetings and gave his soldiers an appropriate send-off, while asking for almost no deference or fanfare in exchange.
Seron kissed me goodnight, and went to his own room, and I was alone now with my husband, candlelight soft on his solemn face as he secured the door behind Seron.
“Aurekdel…”
He dipped a sponge into the wash basin and climbed into bed beside me. “Not yet. I told you to be patient. Seron made quite a mess of you…” He lifted my hand out of the way and kissed it before putting it down and very carefully tried to wipe me off. “You excite him. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“I think you can touch me anywhere now,” I said. “I’ve realized you really aren’t like him.”
“Leonidas?” he said.
“Mmhm.”
&
nbsp; “Why?” He was a little wary now.
“I thought you were arrogant the way he is. But you really do love all of your people, don’t you?”
“I want to do right by them. Yes. I worry about that every day. But…you should still know your place.” He pinched my ass, and I squealed, trying to roll away.
He put his hands around my breasts and I shivered. “One’s bigger than the other? Is that true?”
“I don’t know!”
He nipped my ear, tugging the lobe with his teeth. “If you’re lying to me I’ll find out.” He stroked them and then he brushed my nipples, first with his scales and then with the edge of his claws, and I shivered with the desire that was still built up in me so intensely.
He blew out the candle from a distance with a strong puff of breath.
“Go to sleep,” he whispered. “I still have to read my plates for the day. I have a lot of them, but when I’m done, I’m going to wake you up.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Himika
I didn’t even realize how tired I was until…
I woke up to a hand stroking me between my legs in the dark. I panicked for just a moment before I heard Aurek whispering to me soothingly.
“Relax now and come just for me.”
That ‘just’ was surprisingly sexy.
While he was the one trying to encourage me to love three men, the ‘just’ was all mine. It meant there were still times when he wanted me alone. How could just a small choice of word here and there do so much to make me fall for him?
The room was profoundly dark without any candles. The bedrooms didn’t have crystal veins in the walls like the common rooms, and the crystals outside cast almost no light through even thin curtains.
And so the world narrowed down to just Aurek’s hands, and Aurek’s voice and breath and body close to mine. In almost no time, I was coming for him.
“Let go,” he said.
I cried out louder. The darkness must be very different to him, I thought, but being in it still made me realize how much he must yearn to hear my voice.
“Good girl.” He brushed hair off my face and now it felt to me like I was the one who was blind and he was looking at me.
“Did you ever please yourself?” I asked.
“Oh yes, I had plenty to think about.”
“How long was I sleeping?”
“Four hours.”
“Four hours?”
“I heard you stirring a little, so I stopped reading. I needed a break, anyway. I read slowly. There are lots of reports. It sounds like I need to send another squad out to break up some trouble from rock dragons in the west, in the deep caves. And then I’ve gotten some word from the spies.” He settled next to me, talking business now. “It’s not easy to get information on the Traitor King, but witnesses have corroborated what you and Seron saw, and what was said, about Ezeru.” He growled. “I feel so helpless at times like this. I need Seron here. We’ll be moving to Irandal soon.”
“You must have other strong men? And women?”
“Plenty. But it gets a little tighter all the time.” The covers rustled. “I’ll never forgive myself if I fail.”
“If you fail, you might very well be dead,” I pointed out. “So you won’t have to think about it.”
“You are very pragmatic,” he murmured, and before long he was asleep, with one arm around me.
There was a pattern to the mornings. We woke and Aurekdel drew on a robe and stepped outside to the king’s morning room. He lit a candle in a niche that was visible from the throne room. This began the count of king’s hours. Before this, the court was not permitted to eat. When the candle was lit, there was a brief period of silence. Below the candle was an altar to the gods, where he lit two sticks of incense, one for the spirits of ancestors and one for protection of the living, and knelt in daily prayer. Bells were rung to signal that this was done, and the court was then free to speak and eat their breakfast.
This ritual was a little strange to me, since we didn’t have anything like it in Gaermon. Everyone would hate my father if they couldn’t eat breakfast until he said so, I thought.
On the other hand, there didn’t seem to be many other rules otherwise.
I was usually still in bed at this point, my body aching and reluctant, but the servants would put breakfast on the table and Aurek would bring me whatever I wanted. Raia or Hara would come in and ask me what I wanted to wear and brush my hair. If Hara was there I might ask for some braids. I didn’t ask Raia; she was terrible at it.
This morning I had a fat letter from Rin to read. It still smelled like him. Rin wrote good letters, with plenty of detail about every day matters; plays he had seen, parties he’d attended, guests to court from far away countries, how the integration of the Gaermon army with the remains of the Imperial army was going, all updates on all the guardians, even though I didn’t know most of them very well, especially his lover Gilbert and of course, the priestess and her pregnancy.
The soldiers here are really a pain in the ass. Their training is different than ours in numerous ways, and Commander Abel and I have had some rows about it. In Gaermon we start the training younger and I think in times like these, that’s almost a necessity, but Abel’s giving me a hassle over it. He keeps using the word ‘indoctrinated’ at me. Like I’m signing kids up for a cult or something. I’m not saying kids should be doing the actual fighting, but when I was a kid I was dying to get my hands on a real blade. What do you think? Ask Oszin too.
…Gil had a rough week after that symphony performance. It was so beautiful and he was really feeling the loss of his hand. The phantom pains were waking him up at night and sometimes I’ll hear him moaning in his sleep, although he’d kill me if he knew I told you. He doesn’t do it when we sleep with Phoebe. I hope it’s because he’s just more comfortable around me and not because she’s better at soothing him, but I guess that’s what the priestess does. Sometimes I think I’d do anything to have it be my hand instead, because I feel so helpless, but he’s been getting much better with the bow prosthetic and I’m hoping his spirits improve naturally when he can really play the violin again. Still, I’m just venting my worries to you so I don’t have to say them to anyone here. Gil and Niko are so good at charming the merchants that I feel like a sword-wielding oaf in comparison.
Phoebe just came in and said I wasn’t an oaf although she shouldn’t look at a man’s letters without asking. Who is the oaf, Phoebe?
She says she’s been meaning to write you too but she’s been so busy and exhausted and she has baby brain. The pregnancy is going well, as far as I know about pregnancy, which isn’t much. But she looks cute and the nursery is all ready and we’re all trying not to care whose baby it’s going to be…
Which brings me to you. The message was matter of fact but I’m worried sick that you weren’t healed. You must be so angry at me for pushing you into it and my only defense is that I thought it would cure you. But if it didn’t…
I haven’t been sleeping well. Do you need to come home?
The letter was so long and I thought, between the lines, he sounded pretty overwhelmed. Happy, but I was a little worried he was in over his head. His letter didn’t mention any uprisings, or what he was doing to take back the northern gate that we so desperately needed before we could trade effectively.
“Is that from your brother?” Raia asked. “It’s so long!”
“He does go on,” I said. “Did—Abel write you?”
She took one page out of her pocket. “Yep. It’s very eloquent, but who is this guy? The whole thing is about the military until he signed it ‘Thinking of you, sister’. Well…I mean, I shouldn’t complain. We just don’t know each other. But when I wrote him, it was six pages long and I tried to be chatty. He didn’t even answer my question about how his cat was settling in.”
“Abel seems very stoic,” I said. “Maybe not the sort of man who writes chatty letters about cats.”
“I’m puttin
g too much on him…” Raia rubbed her forehead. “I know he can’t replace my mother. Plus, he’s old enough to be my dad. He’s probably wondering what in the world to do with a kid sister.”
“Have you thought about starting a family of your own, Raia?” Aurek asked. “Since you are reluctant to go back onto the field, it would benefit the kingdom if you’d have some rough and tumble babes of your own. But more importantly, I bet you’d feel more connected to your mother.”
“I don’t have a man,” Raia said. “And I don’t have very good luck with them either… I can’t have the ones I really want, and the ones who want me, I end up hating.”
“Who do you really want?” Aurek asked.
“Um—oh—I don’t know. Somebody big and strong and quiet, I guess. Because I’m lean and loud.”
“I see.”
“But it could be anyone,” Raia said. “Who knows. I don’t need it right now. I guess I could just have kids and not get married.”
“I don’t know if you want to do that!” I was shocked by the suggestion. In Gaermon this would be highly scandalous.
“It doesn’t matter,” Aurekdel said. “We need to grow our numbers any way possible. All the children are raised together in the nursery once they’re weaned and they have mother and father figures there. That way the kids have some stability even if they lose a parent or both. Although the official rule is that mothers don’t fight, they end up getting caught in it fairly often anyway.”
“It’s hard to keep us sitting still,” Raia said. She finished tying my gown with an almost-correct bow. “There you are! I’ll take the dishes, sir.” She stacked up the bowls and plates left from breakfast and went out the door.
Aurek made a regretful huff and got to his feet. “I think she likes Seron,” he said.
“Seron!?”
“I don’t think he even thinks about her, and naturally…he’s not going to start. I wish I could find her a man like Seron, but there is only one and he’s ours.” He picked up his cane.
The Kingdoms of Sky and Shadow Box Set Page 17
