He turned to Peri. “As I should have welcomed you.”
“She thanks you for those words,” I said, reading the deft movements of her hands. “But she also anticipates that you will wipe Izeria off the face of the earth.”
He smiled. “We will get along, won’t we?”
Chapter Forty-Five
Himika
Who would have ever guessed that sleeping with just two men would feel so lonely?
I certainly knew something was wrong when Aurekdel just went straight to sleep that night and the night after that. His usual friskiness was nowhere to be found.
And Ezeru wasn’t exactly a romantic. Well, maybe that wasn’t a fair assessment. He looked at me like I was the only star in the heavens, but when it came to affection, who would have taught him how to behave? How to give and take? At least he seemed aware that he didn’t know. He shared our bed but I think he might have rather been alone.
However, he did say it was the nicest bed he’d ever slept in. So maybe it wasn’t all about me.
Two more days passed, each one another day where I didn’t know where the other half of me had gone. Oszin and Seron…
I worked in my garden, making as many tea blends as I could. In the evenings, we tried to have as much normalcy in the court as we could, even as we prepared to leave. I forced myself to eat, even though grief made my throat thick. I sang and danced too, even if they were somber songs and somber dances. I tried to set an example for my people, and I knew my father would have been proud.
I wanted to keep on with my fighting lessons, but Aurek didn’t show up. When I went to look for him, Raia said he had gone to the library.
I heard his voice from down the hall, sounding rather wistful.
“‘…alone did the hero come unto an island vast, whereon the boat sped quickly, the gallant knight at last came to the castle Irandal high upon a hill, and there he sought a lodging, as wayward men do still’—yes, that’s a book. Letters. Feel that?”
I heard an infant babble. “Ba?”
“Book.”
I crept slowly to the door of the library, which was already open, and looked inside. I saw Aurekdel with Vorja on his lap, reading to the orphaned little mist dragon boy.
Wellp, cue my heart melting.
Kajira was crawling around on the shelf. Vorja heard her little footsteps and reached for her. Aurekdel put down the metal plate he was reading and led Vorja’s hands to the cat.
“That’s Kajira,” he said. “You can pet her. Kajira is a cat.”
“Bada?”
He laughed. “Not even close.”
Kajira nudged her head against Vorja’s hand and he shrieked with delight.
“She likes you,” Aurek said. “Winged cats are wise. No, don’t tug her wings. Like this. She likes it when you scratch her cheeks.” He turned to the door. “Himika?”
“Oh—yes—sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Not a bad effort, my gem. I wasn’t entirely sure if you were there or not.” He left Vorja on the shelf with Kajira, and I ran over to him.
“He might fall!”
“Eh, dragons are sturdy little buggers.” He rubbed his forehead. “I was just—I don’t know. I’m afraid he gets a little left out in the nursery sometimes.” As if—apparently—Aurek had already been checking on him now and then. “What did you want?”
“I wondered if we were having practice. Are you okay?”
“Oh. Practice.” He shook his head. “No, I’m—I drank too much last night.”
“Last night?”
“Okay, I drank too much at breakfast.”
“But you can handle watching a baby?”
He seemed closed off. “I don’t want to fight today,” he said. “That’s all. I’m sure everyone in the barracks would jump at the chance to practice with you, if you wanted.”
I worried my lip, watching him as he drifted back to Vorja. “Well…I’m glad you’re giving Vorja some attention. I’m sure it’s good for him. If you don’t let him fall out a window, anyway.”
That, at least, got a chuckle out of him, although I hoped he knew I was serious.
“We can’t go on like this,” I said that night, as Aurek and Ezeru quietly undressed for bed. “Every night is like a—a funeral.”
Aurek sighed. “I have dreaded this for so long. Something happening to him. I just don’t feel very…carefree, my gem.”
“Carefree or not, we still have a duty to produce heirs,” I said. “We have a duty to show our best face to our people. To carry on. I feel like my heart is being ripped out a hundred times a day, but I know that even at best, we won’t see them again for weeks…and the pain isn’t going to go away any time soon. If they died, Seron and Oszin wouldn’t want us to be sad.”
“Seron would want me to be sad, I think,” Aurek said. “He wasn’t much for attention for the heck of it, but I think he would be offended if I wasn’t moping.”
“Oh, really? So you’re just going to mope?”
“If I died, I would hope you two would be plunged into mourning.”
“But…we’re still the king and queen, and we—”
“The king, am I?” he replied, with faint sarcasm. “Now I’m the king again.”
“Is that why you’re really moping?” I asked.
“No!” He flopped onto the bed and Kajira wandered onto his lap. “I am…in despair. Ashamed at myself for not saving him. Ashamed for wanting to have the crown…for all the times I gave him an order, or—took advantage of his loyalty. Just generally all the things you feel when someone’s gone and they might not come back.”
I walked over to him and lifted his head from its slump, cupped between my hands. “You know what? I think it’s very sweet that you’re the one falling apart. Whatever else has happened, you’re always in control of every situation. It’s your thing. Sometimes you can even be a bit of an ass. But when you love someone, you really love them.”
“I know…a king has no time for such weakness,” Aurekdel whispered. “That’s what you’re trying to tell me now.”
Ezeru was watching us. I couldn’t really tell if this made him uncomfortable, except that he kept folding and refolding his shirt. But now he finally put down the shirt.
“I don’t think it’s a weakness,” he said. “It’s the reason I’m here.” He walked over to us. “Niko and I were talking to Peri earlier, and do you know, it’s the first time in our entire lives that we could talk freely. Niko asked her why it was that when Niko was a boy, she turned away from Dvaro, who would have accepted her and her child with open arms. She said that you were a boy king, and even though you forbade all mist dragons from your castles, that you ruled your people with love and not fear, even though she knew you must have been afraid yourself, to lose your eyes and your family. She decided to take a bet that someday, you would stop being afraid, but Dvaro…would never stop being angry.”
Aurek took a deep breath. “Thank you, Ezeru…I am hardly worthy of Peri’s faith in me. But I needed that.” He tugged my hands down, gripping them in his own, pulling me closer. “I suppose moping is indulgent.”
“Oszin warned me many times not to rule the way my father did,” I said. “He told me to be strong. A good queen needs to be larger than life. I might not feel larger than life right now, but…I’m not going to let this break me. They’ll come back to us. I intend to live every day as if I believe that.”
Aurekdel kissed my palm. He took a deep breath, drinking in the scent of my skin. “And you, Ezeru? Are you still in heat? Rock dragons mate for life even more so than high dragons, don’t they?”
“Well—not as—I mean—” He looked me up and down. “Yes.”
“I’ll be gentle with you as you mope,” I told Aurek, pushing him back onto the bed.
A small smile tugged at his melancholy. “My most perfect of queens…” He thrust his fingers through my hair and kissed me deeply but tenderly.
I held a hand out to Ezeru, and he walked o
ver and lifted my hair away from my neck, wrapping his hands around my breasts. He was already breathing hard with an intense desire. When Aurek let my mouth go, Ezeru kissed me next, nipping at me a little.
“Ouch! Goodness, are your teeth always that sharp?” I asked.
He covered his mouth. “Shit. No, you’re…just bringing it out in me.”
Aurek laughed. “Yes, it seems a part of us wants to eat you.”
“Eat me?”
“Devour you,” he growled, pulling me against his rigid shaft and licking me from shoulder to earlobe.
I shivered all over. That was my Aurek.
Before long, I was caught between the two of them, screaming with agonized pleasure as Ezeru came inside me hard and as soon as Ezeru was done, Aurek traded places and filled me with his seed as well.
Gods, I did need this. I needed that moment when I forgot everything but the way my dragons handled me with equal parts rough, raw hunger and the tender affection that preceded the act, when they kissed me and explored every inch of me. I would never have guessed, when I was younger, what a sense of power and pride I would one day have in taking these men in my bed.
In the moment, they claimed me, but in the long run, I thought, I was the one who had claimed them.
Nothing would be normal without Oszin and Seron, but I wasn’t surrendering without a fight. Not only would we get them back, but I made a vow to myself, we would get them back before I delivered the court the first heir—but not too much before. I prayed that if Oszin hadn’t given me a child before he left, at least maybe Seron had.
I’m ready.
Before I knew it, we were leaving Hemara, the same way I had once entered so reluctantly. It seemed like a long time ago.
I had left in the dead of winter, a terrified and angry princess, and I emerged a queen, in the flush of early summer. Even before we reached the mouth of the cavern, while the handmaidens to the priestess who guarded the gate tried to urge us to stay for dinner, I could smell the bright green, the open land teeming with life.
“We’ll stay for dinner,” I said. “But before the sun goes down, I want to show my men what a season is like.”
Most of the soldiers had seen the world of sky, but Ezeru and Aurekdel had never been to my world before.
We walked out onto a ledge, overlooking the mountains and cliffs, with rocks and trees and mountain flowers. The sounds of birds singing rang from every direction. Ezeru recoiled from the sun. It hurt my eyes a little too, but it felt so good on my skin. Wind teased at our hair.
“Do you feel it, Aurek?” I asked.
“This wind!” he exclaimed. “And is that heat the sun?”
“Yep.”
“I didn’t expect it to be so strong,” Ezeru said.
“This place is so vast,” Aurek said. “That, I can tell right away. Is there really no end to it?”
“There isn’t really any end to the sky,” I said. “It reaches all the way to the moon and the stars, which are very much like crystals hanging above us, but they’re impossibly far away. Astronomers say they’re very big…other suns…”
“I have a lot to learn,” Aurek said. “I should have brought the librarian so he can make plates for me to read…”
“I’ll read to you in the evenings,” I said.
“This world is so bright,” Ezeru said. “Are those birds?” He pointed at a few little brown birds settled in the branches of a bush. When he got a little closer, they all flew away in a group.
“Seron told me birds were alarming creatures,” Aurek said.
“They’re…cute, actually,” Ezeru said. “They look harmless.”
I laughed. “They are cute. And very harmless. And they sing all day. We should be able to see Gaermon castle from here…” I swept an arm out, my heart filling at the sight of my home in the distance, although now my brother spent most of his time in Capamere. “I hope I’m not leaving you out, Aurek. I want to describe the castle but it’s hard because it just looks like a normal castle to me.”
“It makes me think of a treasure box,” Ezeru said. “Surrounded by big square walls.”
“Yes. But at least the gates are open now. And I see lots of boats at the harbor.”
“Ah. So that salty smell is the sea,” Aurek said.
We took a little walk down the path before the handmaidens pulled us in for a huge pot of soup and fresh loaves of bread.
As I was eating, one of them came over to me and whispered, “Congratulations.”
“Oh—um—you mean on my marriage?”
She looked at my stomach. “How long since you’ve had your moon cycle, Your Majesty?”
“It was…I suppose it has been a little over a month now. I’ve been terrible at keeping track with so much else on my mind. It wasn’t always regular, anyway.” My eyes widened. “I mean…can you tell?”
“We all have a little talent for magic related to babies. It’s part of our job. I sense life within you now. Maybe even…two.” She winked at me.
“Two!” I flushed.
“It runs in your family, doesn’t it?”
“Yes…” I looked at Ezeru and Aurekdel. I couldn’t wait to tell them, but I knew Aurekdel, at least, would share my hopes that this was a gift from Seron. “It does.”
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46
One Imperial Rose Troupe and a Baby
“…in short, the new zoning regulations will encompass only the west bank of the river. Now, as for the financial sector, the bank rates blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah. Blah blah. Blah?” said the district commissioner.
“Blah blah blah blah,” replied my husband (one of them, anyway), Emperor Raio, aka just “Rin” to me.
What we really need is a morale boost. Like…the last emperor made sure that people were having a good time while he did bad stuff. So we need to have fun too. Yes. We can’t forget to have fun! What happened to the song and dance troupes, anyway? I saw the carriage for the Sunflower Girls traveling around, but since then…
“Phoebe?” Forrest clapped his hands in front of my face.
“Wha?”
“You were sleeping,” Rin said, yawning a little but trying his best to cover it up.
“No! I wasn’t sleeping! Coffee—I need coffee…once I have this baby I’ll be better at meetings. I promise…”
“Empress Phoebe, my dear, you are always welcome at meetings,” said an older lady who was in charge of like…farms? “However, you are a very young woman who was not raised to rule, and you should be gentle on yourself. It is possible that your talents might be put to better use elsewhere. Soon, you’ll have lots of sweet royal babies to occupy your time.”
“I’m not just a baby machine! Plus…I mean…all the priestess’ handmaidens are dying to get their hands on my baby.”
“She wants to stay and attend every single policy meeting,” Niko said in a droll tone.
I gave him a withering look. “Well…I mean…I didn’t say that.”
“Save yourself,” Rin said. “Leave this place
, and never return.”
“Well, if all of you guys are going to be at these meetings, I don’t want to be the only one too stupid to comprehend the—“
“What were we just talking about, my pet?” Niko asked.
“Um…the foreign…bank…loan?”
“Those are three words that do sound logical,” he said. “But no.”
“Abel isn’t here, mind you.” Forrest said. “He would rather just get the report and only attend the most necessary meetings. For that matter, I don’t go to these either unless we have military business to handle. And Gilbert hasn’t attended the last five.”
“Oh…I guess that’s true…but Gilbert’s a bard. I’m the empress.”
“To be honest, you just get in the way,” Niko said.
“You’re a jerk.”
“I’m honest,” he said. “That lends itself to automatic jerkery. Everyone keeps having to explain things to you, and we can tell you still don’t understand it. It’s obvious Rin is just as bored as you are, but at least he was brought up to be a king by his father. And I ran an international smuggling business for years. That’s why I’m here. It isn’t that you’re stupid. It’s just that no twenty-three year old girl off the street knows how to rule a kingdom. Would you want any other girl from your home town ruling the kingdom?”
“Oh, no. Not at all.” I nodded, suddenly understanding. “Hey, what happened to the Sunflower Girls and all the rest?”
“That was part of Emperor Leonidas’ propaganda,” said an older man. “The dance troupes were disbanded immediately.”
The Kingdoms of Sky and Shadow Box Set Page 55
