by Lynn Cahoon
“You’re irreplaceable, don’t fret. Montana isn’t big money rodeo anyway. I’m sure Jesse just forgot to check in.” James pushed open the entry door. “Take your time.”
Barb looked around the plush waiting room. Country casual. A room designed to make you feel at home in a place you didn’t want to be. A vision of Hunter sprawled out on the couch, his feet hanging off the edge, made her giggle.
The sound of her laugh brought a slim woman in a business suit out of the administrator’s office and she stood in front of Barb with the marketing smile Barb used on prospective sponsors. “Can I help you?”
“I’m Barb Carico. I just moved my mom into her room today?” Barb didn’t know what else to say.
The woman’s smile deepened and Barb thought she saw dollar signs flash in the woman’s eyes. “Yes, we’ve been expecting Lorraine to come join our family. Mr. Jones has your paperwork all ready. Go on in.”
A tall thin man sat behind a large oak desk. Bookcases filled the wall behind him. He stood and motioned to one of the burgundy wing back chairs in front of him. “Have a seat, Miss Carico. I was just finalizing the paperwork.”
Barb sat on the edge of the chair. “So what do we do now? Do I make you monthly payments?”
Mr. Jones looked confused. “I thought you knew. A Hunter Martin set up the financial arrangements yesterday. I assumed he was your brother or a relative?”
Barb sighed. “Mr. Martin, Hunter, is my husband. We’re newlyweds.” She lifted her left hand to show him the placer ring. Thank God it hadn’t turned her finger green. Fake diamond or not, the ring looked expensive. “I guess he didn’t want to concern me with the details. Are you going to send me a monthly statement then?”
“Miss Carico, I mean, Mrs. Martin, an account has been set up for the payments to be directly paid at the first of each month. I’m sure your husband was meaning to inform you.” He pushed the admission paperwork toward her. “Now, if you’ll just sign these admission papers, you can be back on your way.”
Just sign your mom’s care over to us and no muss, no worries. Barb knew she was doing the right thing. Her mother had even told her she wanted this. But signing each paper while the facility’s administrator watched just seemed so wrong.
Tonight was a Ben and Jerry’s night. Then, if she still felt like a heel, she’d break open one of those bottles of wine Hunter kept in his pantry. After Kati went to bed. She’d play the mommy role, hiding her pain until Kati fell asleep. She thought of the little girl’s blonde wispy hair and smiled. Had her mother felt this way so quickly about her? Barb had known Kati less than a week and already she cared for the kid.
“Anything else?” Barb pushed the paperwork toward Mr. Jones, who tapped it on the desk to make it uniform, then gently placed the paper into a file folder. Barb could see her mom’s name on the label.
“We’re done here.” Mr. Jones stood and held out his hand. “Visit anytime. Sundays we have a great fried chicken dinner for our guests. Most of our residents are on a strict diet though so we have special menus for them.”
“I’ll be around.” Barb shook the man’s hand. She could see in his eyes that he doubted her word. He must hear that a lot from family members. But this time, except for when her job pulled her away, Barb would visit.
Even if it broke her heart a little with every return.
She climbed into the passenger seat of James’s SUV.
“Bad?” He turned down the volume on the radio station he’d been listening to.
“Worse.” She wouldn’t cry. Not now. Maybe after the bottle of wine in her room after she knew everyone was asleep.
James pulled her into a quick hug. “I’ve got good news for you then. Lizzie and I will be down on Sunday.”
“Sunday?” Barb slipped her seatbelt on, clicking the tab. “What’s Sunday?”
“You don’t know? Your wedding reception is on Sunday. Lizzie just got a call from someone at Martin Dairy with the invite. So you want a blender or a crock pot?” James cranked the engine.
“Neither.” A wedding reception? What was Hunter playing with here? He must have thought it would help them look more married to the court. “Just come. I don’t want a gift.”
“When you don’t tell people what you want, you get a hundred fondue gift sets. This is the voice of experience talking here. And some of those suckers aren’t returnable.”
Barb stared out the side window. “I gave you guys a fondue pot.”
“Maybe we can return the favor.” James turned back on the radio and the car was silent until he dropped her off in front of her mom’s empty house.
Not looking at the house, not wanting to see it look as empty as it felt, Barb climbed into her rental. Hunter needed to get her a real car. Maybe he had one she could borrow for the short time they would be married.
Then again, maybe she should just keep the rental. She’d be out of town next weekend for sure. And maybe by then the court situation would be over with, and Barb could be a divorced woman again.
Just like before.
Chapter 10
“Where are we going?” Kati squirmed in the back seat of the rental. Apparently, due to air bags, kids weren’t allowed to ride up front until they left for college or something. There was so much about raising a child Barb didn’t know. One more reason that it was good this arrangement was temporary.
Barb had picked Kati up from school as what her mom used to call Friday surprise. She and Lizzie would slip into the back of their Buick and the three of them would take off. Sometimes it was ice cream at The Pancake House in town. Sometimes they would do a run down to the closest drive-thru for a greasy fast food dinner of hamburgers, fries, and shakes. Once they’d even gone to a food bank and packed boxes.
But they’d never gone to a nursing home. Assisted living, Barb corrected herself. She glanced at Kati in the rearview mirror.
“It’s Friday surprise.” Barb turned out of the school parking lot and headed to the freeway. The assisted living center was located out in Eagle. Great neighborhood for the affluently upscale two parent Boise commuter households. Barb had thought someday she’d love to live in the tiny community, but her income had never been enough to afford the country life. Besides, she loved living in San Francisco. No one knew her there. She could go for days without talking to anyone.
Barb realized Kati had asked another question. “Sorry, wool gathering. What did you say?”
“I asked if I could bring cupcakes next Wednesday for the class. Uncle Hunter missed my birthday last month and I didn’t get to have a party at school. My teacher said now that you guys are married, you might do cupcakes for me.”
“Chocolate or vanilla. Or swirled?”
“Chocolate. Besides, you can’t do swirled, can you?” Kati frowned.
“I can do swirled. Don’t tell me you’ve never swirled a cake batter?”
“No.” Kati sounded hesitant.
“Well, Tuesday night we’ll bake and I’ll show you how you can have it all. At least where cupcakes are concerned.” Barb pulled into Countryside’s parking lot. “We’re here.”
Kati looked around the building. “It looks like a big house.”
The building did look more like a large ranch house than an institution. Flowerbeds graced the front with walking paths running around the property and a large privacy fence surrounding the backyard. Benches were scattered around the front, making Barb homesick for the large front porch their Shawnee house had sported. Barb had spent many a summer day prone in that swing, reading.
“My mom lives here. She just moved in yesterday, so I’m not sure how settled or calm she is today. Bear with me for a little visit and then we’ll hit the bookstore on the way home. Deal?” Barb leaned over the fake leather seat watching Kati.
The smile that filled the kid’s face was answer enough. “I haven’t been at a bookstore since … ” She faltered, the smile leaving her face. Barb wondered if she’d made a mistake. But then Kati seemed to make a decision and the smi
le returned to her face, albeit a bit sadder. “My mom and I used to go once a month on Saturdays. It was our time.”
“We don’t have to go.” Barb was close to tears. Kati had suffered so much so young.
“I want to.” Kati unhooked her seatbelt and put her hand on the door. “Are we ready?” The kid was an old soul. She reminded Barb of Lizzie at that age. Centered, understanding, and kind. Hunter was a lucky guy to be able to raise Kati, no matter what the situation. She’d have to tell him about the bookstore so he could start taking Kati after she left.
After she left. Why did those words suddenly cause her a pang of regret?
“Barb?” Kati’s voice broke through her thoughts.
“Sorry, kiddo. I’m ready.” Barb stepped out of the car and crossed over to meet Kati on the other side, surprised when Kati slipped her hand into hers. Comforted by the gesture, they walked into the front door.
Winding through the halls, they came to Lorraine’s room. Soft music flowed out of the doorway when they opened the door. Lorraine sat on the loveseat in the living area of her suite, looking at photo albums.
“Are you up for a short visit?” Barb stood at the doorway, not wanting to intrude on the world her mother was building.
A smile brightened Lorraine’s face. “Anytime. Although I expected you to be out of town with your cowboys this weekend. Come in.”
Barb sat next to her mother on the loveseat and motioned for Kati to sit in the wing chair on the other side of the small couch. “Mom, this is Kati. She’s my … ” Barb stopped. She’d almost said daughter. Even in the short time she’d known Kati, her heart had attached to this sad little girl. Barb finished her sentence with “niece.”
Lorraine frowned at the word then smiled at Kati. “It’s nice to meet you. I didn’t realize my daughter had a new niece.”
“That’s because she married my uncle who had to take me in when my parents died.” Kati’s glance dropped to the photo album.
“You got married?” Lorraine looked confused, glancing around the room. “How long have I been here?”
Barb patted her mother’s hand. “You moved in yesterday. Sorry, this wedding thing kind of happened fast. I would have told you sooner, but … ” Barb hesitated.
“But I wasn’t here again. I’d had an attack,” Lorraine finished for her.
“Yeah.”
A silence filled the room, both women mourning the time missed — past and future. Kati broke the silence, pointing to the photo album. “Did you used to ride?”
“Why yes, I did. But those photos are of Barb when she was Queen of the Snake River Stampede. It was such an honor. Barb’s riding club was so small, no one from their group had ever even placed in the bigger rodeo competitions. Not even her friend Lizzie.” Lorraine smiled at her daughter. “You were so beautiful that night with your tiara on your purple cowboy hat. Do you still have that hat?”
Barb hugged her mother. “I think you’re a little biased. But the hat, tiara, and that sparkling outfit are all in storage at your house. Although I don’t think I’ll ever get my thighs into those jeans again. Riding kept me in amazing shape. Hours on the treadmill just don’t carve the same muscles.”
“Maybe you can ride with me after my lessons. Claire has a whole riding trail out by the river.”
Lorraine looked at Kati. “You ride? Well, we have lots in common now, don’t we?” Lorraine turned the photo album back to the beginning, showing Kati all the pictures of Barb and some of Lizzie on their horses from grade school on.
Barb’s riding scrapbook. She hadn’t realized her mom had kept these photos. Riding in the Shawnee rodeo parade, year after year. The first parade photo showed her dad leading her horse, Barb perched on the pony, grinning from ear to ear. Barb must have been three or four. “I’ve never seen that picture before.”
“Your father was a handsome man.” Lorraine touched his face in the photograph. “He loved horses just as much as you did.”
“Did he die?” Kati blurted out the question.
Barb froze. Her mom never talked about her dad. When his name was brought up, Lorraine shut down. But this time, Lorraine answered Kati.
“He was killed bringing the cattle down from the summer pasture. A rattler spooked his horse and he fell on a rock. Freak accident. By the time they got him down the mountain, he’d been gone a while.”
Kati nodded, accepting the information. “My mommy and daddy died on a motorcycle.” Kati pointed at the next picture. “Is that your house in Shawnee?”
They were almost through the photo album when a voice came through the door. “Smile.”
Barb looked up and a flash blurred her eyes.
Hunter glanced down at the digital display. “Nope, gotta get another one, Barb was making a face.”
“Uncle Hunter. What are you doing here?” Kati bounced on the couch.
“Smile first, then talk.” Hunter crinkled his eyes at Barb. “You ready this time?”
Barb felt her mother’s hand reach out and squeeze her own. She turned slightly and smiled at her mom.
After a second and a third flash, Hunter pronounced the pictures good. He walked into the room. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced. Hunter Martin. I’m Kati’s uncle.”
“And Barbara’s new husband so I hear.” Lorraine shook Hunter’s hand. “You didn’t tell me he was so good looking. If only I was ten years younger.”
Hunter blushed and Barb blessed him for that. “I only have eyes for your lovely daughter.”
“Acckk.” Kati stuck her finger down her throat in an exaggerated motion. “Barf alert.”
“You have no appreciation for romance.” Hunter pulled her up into a hug. “How was school, squirt?”
“Fine. Barb’s making me cupcakes for my birthday next week.”
“We already celebrated your birthday two months ago.” Hunter frowned.
“Yeah, but most kids get to bring treats to class and I didn’t, even though I told you.” Kati smiled at Barb. “My teacher already said it was okay.”
“My first official act as a parent and you’re telling me I screwed up?” Hunter slumped into the wing back chair.
“Don’t worry, it won’t be the last time.” Lorraine closed the photo album. “That’s what parents do, mess up their kids’ lives by just trying to do the right thing.”
Barb couldn’t believe her mom was this clear. She wanted to savor the moment, enjoy the connection, and hold the memory in her heart forever. Instead, she pulled her mother into a gentle hug. “You didn’t mess up my life, not one bit. I did all that on my own.”
“You always were a sweet child. Always wanting to fix everyone around you. Always wanting to take care of people.” Lorraine squeezed her tightly. “Sometimes it’s not your fault.”
The room was quiet. Barb wiped her eyes and saw Kati sitting on Hunter’s lap, the two watching, but not speaking. The silence was broken by an attendant coming into the room.
“Mrs. Carico? Time for dinner. Can I escort you to the dining room?” The young woman stopped just inside the doorway, respectful of the boundaries each resident needed.
“We have to go anyway.” Barb kissed her mother on the cheek and held her hand out to Kati. “I’m home this weekend so I’ll come by tomorrow too.”
Kati surprised Barb by giving Lorraine a hug as well. “And me. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Hunter nodded at Lorraine. “I’m afraid I’ve got a previous engagement I have to take care of, but it was nice meeting you and I will come back.”
Barb wondered about that. Since they were only together for the duration of the court case, should he be visiting her mom? But then she realized, tomorrow wasn’t promised to any of them. Right now, Lorraine was happy. Barb had a nice little family and her mother was happy. Why question the moment?
The aide gently lifted Lorraine off the loveseat and they left the room. Barb, Hunter, and Kati followed. When they turned toward the door, Lorraine turned back and gave them a small
wave, blowing a kiss to Barb.
Barb felt tears in her eyes as they walked toward the entry door. Hunter’s truck was parked next to Barb’s rental.
“Let’s grab some dinner over at The Galaxy.” Hunter’s voice was warm. “You know where it is or do you want to ride with me and we’ll pick up your car later?”
“I’ll follow.”
“I’m riding with Uncle Hunter,” Kati pronounced, the bookstore stop forgotten. “He has a back seat that I can ride in, just like a car.” Kati took off and climbed into the truck, leaving Barb and Hunter alone for a second.
“I hope it was okay for me to stop by.” Hunter put his hand on her arm. “I wanted to meet her.”
“She loved you. I think she likes you more than me,” Barb joked. “I’m glad you stopped by. That’s the clearest she’s been in months. Maybe this placement was a good thing. She doesn’t have to worry about the house, or dinner, or anything.”
“It’s still hard.”
Barb didn’t know if Hunter was referencing her mother’s feelings or her own. But honestly, it was hard on both of them. When she didn’t answer, Hunter pulled her into a gentle hug. And then the tears she’d been fighting all day, hell, for years, flooded out of her.
• • •
Hunter let her cry. He’d come here to gather up his niece, hot as hell that Barb had confiscated her from school. He’d been wound up from his conversation with Chase and ready to call off this charade, not convinced that Barb’s past wouldn’t hurt more than her presence helped.
But standing in the doorway of Lorraine’s room, watching the three generations laugh at a picture of Barb in her high school home economics class, he’d realized there must be more to the story of her first marriage than he’d heard. Even her relationship with Jesse, after what she’d told him about his mom leaving when the boys were kids, made more sense. If Barb was a gold digger, she’d had plenty of chances to run off with a successful rider or sponsor long before they’d met.
Now, the woman sobbed as he held her in his arms. Sobbed for a mother who was still on the earth, but slipping away. He’d been wrong. Or at least, he was willing to give her a little more rope. All he needed was a family for a couple more weeks. Once the issue of Kati’s custody was settled, they could work out an agreement.
