Blitz grinned and offered his hand. “It’s been good to see you, Buck.”
When Buck took his hand, Blitz pulled him into a bear hug, slapping him on the back.
“Good to see you too, Blitz. Take care, man,” Buck said, pulling out of Blitz’s grasp.
Outside the trailer he found Pedro sitting on the steps, biting his nails while he kept a nervous eye on all the armed guards.
“C’mon Pedro. We’re heading back to the village.”
“Gracias a Dios,” Pedro said, jumping to his feet. “I do not like it here. This is a bad place.”
Back at the village, Buck headed for the lab to find Mindy. They’d need to talk to Pucu and Kaba, but he wanted to prep Mindy first.
“Pedro, you go see Pucu. Tell her what I told you, and that I’ll meet with her and answer her questions after I see Dr. Emerson.”
Pedro nodded and hurried off to Pucu’s home. Buck took a deep breath and squared his shoulders as he walked to the lab. He had the more difficult task of the two.
He found Mindy working with April and Cody, the three of them in a heated discussion over something. Watching her when she didn’t know made him smile. She had such passion for her work, and it seemed anymore like the only time she could be truly relaxed and at peace with herself. It hurt just a little he couldn’t fill that role, but he lived and breathed his job, too, so he understood that she loved her work.
“Mindy,” he said, stepping into the lab.
They all froze and turned to look at him at the same time.
“You’re back,” Mindy said, meeting him partway across the room for a hug. “How did it go?”
“About as well as I expected it to.”
“They said screw off, didn’t they?” April asked.
“Not entirely. It turns out the guy who owns the logging company is an old military buddy,” Buck said.
“Really?” Mindy asked. “That’s good. He listened to you, then.”
“Sort of. He’s working for a local farming consortium to clear some forest so they can grow food. He proposed that if the villages move up over the ridge—and you move your research—they’ll stay on this side of the ridge.”
“But they’re still destroying the rainforest,” Cody said. “Once it’s gone, you can’t replace it. There’s biodiversity here you can’t find anywhere else on the planet, and they just want to slash and burn it like it doesn’t matter. Just to grow some more fucking corn.”
“If you haven’t noticed, Cody, there are seven billion people on the planet, and more being born every day. These people are just trying to stay alive and feed their families. They don’t have the luxury of debating ethics. They just want to eat,” Buck said.
“They’ll be pretty damn sorry when the rain forest is gone and they realize the consequences,” April said.
“I can’t do anything about that,” Buck said. “If Blitz doesn’t do it somebody else will. It’s not something any one of us can stop. It’s too big.”
Mindy’s lips thinned and she crossed her arms in front of her and she fumed. “Absolutely not,” she said. “The villagers shouldn’t have to leave their homes so somebody else can eat.”
Buck shook his head. “I agree. But if they don’t move, the bulldozers will come anyway.”
“And the salamander habitat is here, not over the ridge. If they destroy this part of the forest, they destroy the habitat and the salamanders will be gone. This is where we have to do the research,” she said.
Damn she was stubborn.
“Can’t you capture some of the salamanders and study them in captivity? Breed them so they can live in a different habitat? I mean, it’s just over the ridge. It’s not that far,” Buck said. “Blitz is willing to compromise. He’s probably only doing it because we know each other. Besides, he’s doing something to benefit people. Regardless of whether you agree with him, he’s still trying to help people.”
“By razing their homes, uprooting them and forcing them to move against their will?” Mindy asked.
“No, by feeding hungry people. That’s important, too,” Buck said.
Mindy scoffed. “If you think he’s doing this for humanitarian purposes, you’re blinded by false loyalty. He’s not doing it out of the goodness of his heart. He’s probably making a ton of money.”
The thought had occurred to Buck, and continued to niggle at him. Blitz probably was making money off the job, or it wouldn’t make sense to do it. But her accusations grated on him.
“I’m not stupid, Mindy. I know he’s profiting from it. But can’t you give him the benefit of the doubt? He’s a good man.”
Mindy plowed ahead, her cheeks turning an angry pink. “Why are you taking his side, anyway?” she said. “You know how important this research is to me.”
Buck bit his lip to keep from yelling. It hadn’t escaped his attention that he and Mindy had become the center of attention. Cody and April had stopped arguing and just gawked at him and Mindy.
“He saved my life, Mindy. If not for him, I’d be dead.”
“So you take his side? I saved your life, too.”
April headed for the door. “I’m out. C’mon Cody.”
She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him for the door before he could protest. Mindy didn’t seem to notice. She was too busy glaring and flaring her nostrils. Her eyes had gone glassy like she might cry. Dammit.
Buck went to her and bundled her into his arm, kissing the top of her head, then her temple. Her body stayed tense and she just stood there with her arms at her side, like she resented him holding her. He held on, though. It took a moment, but she finally circled her arms around his waist.
“I thought we loved each other,” she said, her voice strained with emotion. “We’re a team. How can you put someone else above me?”
He took her by the shoulders and pushed her to arm’s length. “What?”
“How can I trust you in a relationship if I don’t know I come first? You always come first to me, no matter what.”
She must be losing her mind. He couldn’t imagine any other reason why she’d say something so hurtful. Why was it his buddies could say shit way worse and it just rolled off his back, but when the woman he loved said something like that, it was like death by a thousand cuts?
“Are you serious? Because I’ve saved your life too. If we’re keeping score—which I didn’t know we were—we’re even. But you damn well better know I’d save your life a thousand times without asking for anything in return. Because I love you.”
A tear slipped down her cheek, but she still looked steamed.
“And as far as prioritizing, don’t tell me you wouldn’t think twice if the choice was between Jayla and me,” he said.
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because she swiped the tear and went straight to pissed off, pointing a dangerously stabby finger at him.
“That’s different, and you know it. Jayla’s my best friend. I’ve known her for years. She’s family. This guy Blitz isn’t your best friend, or your family. He’s some guy you worked with and did his job.”
He ground his teeth together in frustration, reminding himself she didn’t understand the brotherhood of the SEALs.
“He’s not just some guy who did his job. We were never friends, but I still owe him. He’ll never call in that debt, but I still owe it.”
She made a disgusted sound in her throat. “Oh, he’ll call it in, and I can’t wait to say I told you so. Nobody who has a principled conscience does this kind of thing. Nobody.”
Before Buck could respond with any kind of defense—not that he was certain he wanted to—Pucu and Kaba burst through the door, both of them talking over each other and pointing angry fingers at him. He didn’t need Pedro in order to understand they were pissed.
Pedro squeezed in behind the women anyway, looking sheepish.
“Sorry,” he said. “After I told them what you said, I could not stop them.”
“It’s okay. Can you give me an
idea what they’re saying?” Buck said.
“They refuse to leave. This is their home. They’d rather fight and die than give it up.”
Buck scrubbed a hand down his face. Nothing was ever fucking easy. They couldn’t just come down to the Amazon, relax, do some pharmaceutical research, cure Alzheimer’s, and go home. He’d wanted time with Mindy in a place where she could be more at ease, where maybe they could talk, address some issues, possibly have some hot jungle sex. So far they’d accomplished exactly none of that, and now they’d got themselves embroiled in a standoff with a logging company owned by his ex-military buddy hell-bent on destroying the home and culture of a native Amazonian tribe. Dammit.
“Is there any chance of talking them out of that?” Buck asked.
Pedro glanced at the two women, who hadn’t slowed one bit. They continued to rake Buck over the coals, occasionally turning their attention to Mindy, then Pedro, then back to Buck. It didn’t seem to matter Buck didn’t understand their words. They were smart women. They knew he understood the gist.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll take that as a no. Look, I’ll go back and talk to Blitz—Mr. Eldridge, the owner of the company—and see if I can come up with a better compromise.”
Pedro translated this to the women, who finally stopped talking long enough to listen. Buck’s ears rang in the silence. He glanced over at Mindy, who bit her lip to keep from laughing. If he weren’t so stuck in the middle of this disaster, he’d find the gesture very sexy. Hell, it didn’t matter, he still found it sexy. His cock twitched in anticipation, like a puppy eager to play catch. Too bad there was no chance in hell of sex anytime soon.
He shook his head to get rid of the dog analogy. Jeez.
Pucu and Kaba went back and forth with Pedro, then Pedro translated. “They want you to go talk to Senor Eldridge. Tell him they will not leave their home. They will fight him and drive him from their land.”
Buck stifled a defeated sigh. He was used to being on the winning side of battles, but this one didn’t feel winnable. Maybe he could still salvage it, but they were obligated now. He couldn’t just leave them, and Mindy would never forgive him if they didn’t at least try.
“I’ll take him the message. But the chances are good he won’t back down, so when I get back we need to talk about strategy. They do know this is only one battle in a bigger war, right? Can you make that clear to them, Pedro? Even if we manage to win this battle, it won’t be the end.”
Pedro said, “I’ll tell them, but they know.”
CHAPTER 6
Melinda nestled herself closer to Buck on their bamboo sleep mats, in the darkness of night. April’s deep, steady breathing—the embodiment of her rock solid personality—and Cody’s soft snores filled the air, an odd comfort of the constancy of life even amidst the threat of destruction.
“What’re you thinking?” Buck asked, slipping his arm around her and pulling her to him.
“You’re awake?”
“Mmhm. Can’t sleep.”
She smiled. “Liar. You can sleep anywhere.”
“Yeah. But you’re wound so tight it’s like sleeping next to a guitar string about to snap.”
“That’s romantic.”
He snorted. “There’s nothing romantic about this trip, Mindy.”
“True.” Unfortunately. She’d imagined something far different. Since they’d arrived in the jungle, her fantasy had included tiny tents maybe up in the canopy, or maybe hanging from a rocky cliff face, and inside they’d have tent sex. They’d even packed and brought tents, but hadn’t anticipated guest huts. So here they all were sharing a room.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier. I’m just really angry at your friend, and I took it out on you.”
“I know. But you have to understand, there’s a loyalty there. It’s the same for every SEAL. That doesn’t mean those men mean more to me than you, but it’s about honor, and my honor is important to me,” he said.
“I get it. I mean, I don’t get it, but I get it.”
“It’s only something other SEALs understand.”
She heaved a tired sigh. “I’m sorry I got us into this mess,” she said. “Seems like all I’ve done since we’ve met.”
She cringed at how whiney she sounded. Deep down, though, she believed it, and the anxiety was eating her alive.
She’d been happy as a clam to be back in the field. A jungle full of tall trees, wildlife, bugs, lush, leafy undergrowth, and the occasional rocky outcropping was better than a cozy chair, cocoa, and a good book. It was even better than a lab, lab coat, and microscope. Maybe better than therapy. It was her element. Her place. Her thing. It made her happy. And more than anything it was far away from conflict.
Until now.
Now conflict had followed her. It was almost as if the universe insisted she face her problems rather than running away from them.
How dare the damn universe?
“You didn’t get us into anything,” Buck said, smoothing the hair away from her face. He tucked his fingers around her nape, twining them into her hair, and locked his gaze on hers. Even in the darkness, the tiny bit of light that filtered through the trees and into the house twinkled in his eyes, making it impossible to avoid the stern glint. She almost flinched, but forced herself to hold his gaze. She’d spent the last two months studiously avoiding depth, because it required honesty—with him and worse, with herself—but the emotional wounds from Siberia were still too tender. “None of this is your fault,” he said. “Nothing that happened in Siberia was your fault, either.”
No, no, no. She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her forehead on his chest. “I don’t want to talk about that now.”
“You have to talk about it sometime.”
“How about later?”
“Later’s never going to come, Mindy.”
She looked up at him. The concern in his eyes, the tenderness in his voice. How could she not talk to someone who clearly cared about her as much as he did?
Because it hurt too much.
She’d got him into that mess and almost lost him, and now they were in another one and she sure as hell didn’t want to risk losing him again.
“Are you going to be in any danger talking to this Blitz guy?” She asked, instinctively understanding the answer to be oh, hell yes.
“No. He was a SEAL. He follows the same code of honor I do. We’ll be fine.”
“He’s not a SEAL anymore,” she said.
“Once you’re a SEAL, you never stop being one.”
“Please be careful anyway.”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’m always careful.”
She settled her cheek against the warm skin of his chest, the hair there tickling her face. “I’ve seen what passes as careful for you. I want you to be civilian careful, not Buck careful.”
“Buck careful has kept me alive and brought me back to you so far. You just worry about climbing around in the treetops and finding some salamanders you can domesticate.”
“You damn well better come back to me, Grady.”
The hum of his voice rumbled in her ear. “I always will.”
He ran the tips of his fingers across her collar bone, raising goosebumps on her skin. He continued over the curve of her shoulder, and down her arm to curl his fingers into hers and bring them to his lips. Her eyes drifted closed and her breath escaped on a satisfied hum. He kissed the back of her hand, the warmth of his breath raising the hairs on her arm. When he kissed each knuckle one by one, then the backs of her fingers before turning her hand over and kissing the palm, her throat went dry, but not with physical need. She felt that. Her body always wanted him, as if instinct drove it to the one man made just for her. This time, though, her throat went dry with emotional need. How could she push this wonderful, patient man away? He only wanted to help her, to love her, but she couldn’t bring herself to share her deepest, darkest feelings with him.
As she listened to the steady, reassuring beat of his hear
t, her muscles relaxed and the first fuzziness of sleep bloomed in her brain. But before she drifted off into sleep, she vowed she’d talk to him about her fears and anxiety as soon as he got back from meeting with Blitz.
***
The next morning Buck prepped more carefully for his upcoming conversation with Blitz than he had for the first one. Early, before the others awoke, he uncovered the weapons he’d hidden in various locations inside the hut and armed himself. There was no way his sidearm and blade would intimidate Blitz’s army of mercs, but it would send a message. He’d come unarmed and in search of peace last time. Not so much this time.
He still held out hope that the man he used to know would come through and they could work some kind of compromise. But Mindy had a point that men in Blitz’s business were interested in profit more than humanitarianism. He had to believe what he’d told her though, that Blitz still had the integrity borne of his service.
Now he finished his prep while Mindy puttered around the hut, dressing, and brushing her hair. He wished he had the time to help her. Running his fingers through her long, cool hair was one of his favorite things.
April stirred nearby, yawning and stretching. “What’s the plan for today?”
“Buck’s going to talk to the loggers, and I’m going to find some salamanders,” Mindy said as she secured her hair on top of her head.
“I’m coming with you,” April said. “I’ve had enough lab time. You and Cody have both been out in the jungle. It’s my turn.”
“Fine by me,” Mindy said. “Actually, I’d like the company.”
“What about me?” Cody’s voice came from his corner.
“You can hold down the fort,” April said as she pulled on her jeans.
Cody scowled at them and April grinned. “He’s totally jealous.”
A laugh escaped Mindy’s lips, and it was genuine, which reassured Buck she’d be fine while he was gone.
He squatted behind her where she sat cross-legged on the floor, and leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. “Be careful while I’m gone.”
She’d noticed his sidearm when she woke and saw him standing nearby. Her gaze had dropped to it, then back up to his face, her concern obvious in her expression.
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