The problem was, he didn’t even understand some of his actions about that day. Yes, he was furious with the knowledge of what had happened to Kenzi, but they never spoke about it. She never asked him to keep the secret, and he never told her he would. There was just an understanding, as they looked at each other, that they both would carry it to their graves. Or so he had thought. What changed to cause her to break her silence after all these years? He could call her and ask, but if they hadn’t discussed it then, why would they do so now?
Dean hated that Shaun was the one who never got riled up over anything, no matter how bad things got. He was always cool and in control. How would someone like him understand what he’d been going through back then? Even when their father flipped out, which was a daily occurrence, Shaun was the one who handled it the best. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t without his own internal scars.
“Things were different then, Shaun. I was different.”
Shaun stared at Dean then asked, “I’m not so sure you wouldn’t do the exact same thing if it happened today.”
Fuck yeah, I would. No one is going to hurt anyone close to me. Until that moment, he had never really thought about it. He always considered that part of him was long gone, a childhood reaction. But that wasn’t so. The boy who was so filled with anger still lived within him. Only now he used that as a business strength. He was no one’s prey and never the victim.
“We’re two different people, Shaun. You’re a thinker, and I’m a doer.”
“You can’t run a business like that, Dean. At least not for long. If you do, you will lose everything.”
Dean knew his brother was a numbers man. He probably enjoyed reviewing spreadsheets of data when they were only off by a dollar. But that wasn’t something Dean could do. Sitting down too long made him antsy, and he couldn’t concentrate. He needed someone like Shaun to help him run Poly-Shyn, but all his siblings had made it clear they wanted nothing to do with the business. Where was he going to find someone as passionate as he was about bringing this company where it needed to be?
“I’m holding for now. Are you offering to join as a partner?” Dean asked, but he already knew the answer.
Shaun shook his head. “I don’t know anything about plastics and don’t care to learn. I have my own business, which I’m successful at and enjoy. Can you say the same thing about Poly-Shyn? Is this what you really want to do for the rest of your life? Sit here alone, managing the place like Dad used to?”
Dean slammed his fist on the desk. “If you think I’m like Dad, then I suggest watching what you fucking say. Because we both know how he dealt with anyone who pissed him off.”
The office door was open, and when he looked up, he saw Tessa standing there. Her eyes were wide with shock and her face pale. He had said harsh things to her in the past, but this was the first time she had seen this side of him, one that he wasn’t too proud of, yet it was who he was. Better to see it now than later.
“Tessa,” Dean called out. But she had already turned and headed down the hall. He was tempted to go after her. What would he say? That he didn’t mean what he had said to Shaun? The problem was he did. It was better she learned that now than later. If she were wise, she would keep her distance from him as well. Tessa was too damn sweet to be with someone like him. Rotten to the core, just like Dad.
Shaun had turned to see who Dean had called out to, but it was too late. “Exactly my point. Dean, you can’t go through the rest of your life angry.”
“You’re a numbers man; don’t pretend like you’re a psychologist. Did you come here for anything important? I do have work to do even if you don’t.”
“Zoey is worried about you. We all are. Brice told us you were not going to let go of this place no matter what, even if that means fighting us for it. Is that true?”
It had started that way. He needed to show his father that kicking him out at such a young age didn’t destroy him as he had hoped it would. Instead, it only made him stronger, more determined than ever. If he had stayed in that house any longer maybe he wouldn’t be who he was today. Not that I’m a good man, but at least I’m one. Not soft like you, Shaun.
“I’m not letting go of Poly-Shyn. If that means you want to fight me for it then so be it. But I’m not looking for a fight with you or any of my family.”
“Brice is under the impression that you have Bennett doing some digging for you. What is it you’re looking for then, Dean, if not for a fight?”
Oh, I’m looking for a fight, and one I plan on winning. “Have you heard the name Dax Marshall?”
Shaun nodded. “The man Kenzi is seeing. Don’t know much about him. From what I hear, her brother Asher and he got into it at her parents’ house.”
“Good, I hope Asher kicked his ass,” Dean stated.
“The only one who got injured was Kenzi. I guess she tried to get between Asher and Dax and got knocked down and hit her head. She’s okay, but they had to take her to the hospital because she was bleeding a lot.”
Dean stood up. “I’ll fucking kill him. What the hell are the Barringtons doing, letting someone like Dax around Kenzi?”
His answer came from the doorway. “Kenzi loves him, Dean. And from what I hear, he loves her right back. So before you go off the deep end and decide to practically beat a man to death again, you might want to rethink who you’re hurting.”
“What do you know about this, Lexi?”
She laughed. “Dean, Willa and I have known about what happened for years. Kenzi appreciated you defending her honor back then and letting her cope the way she thought she had to, but this is not the same issue. What happened between Asher and Dax was because two stubborn men couldn’t see past themselves and think of what Kenzi needed or wanted. The last thing that situation needs is another arrogant ass stepping in telling her what she needs to do, or what she needs to feel.”
I really should’ve shut that door. The last thing I need is two women riding my ass today. “Lexi, don’t you have work to do?”
She ignored him and came over to stand next to where Shaun was sitting. “I would have, but when my boss comes back down to the department and walks right past me and slams her office door, I figured I better find out what you said this time.”
“Worry about yourself, Lexi.”
Lexi stood with her arms crossed in front of her, tapping her left foot. “Tessa is a tender-hearted woman, Dean. You can’t treat her like you do everyone else. I know you like her, so why don’t you act like you do?”
Shaun looked up at Lexi then to Dean. “Who is this Tessa woman she’s talking about?”
“Probably the best thing that could happen to Dean, but only if he can get his head out of his—I mean get out of his own way,” Lexi answered.
Dean walked out from behind his desk. “Lexi, Shaun, I have something I need to take care of. You two can show yourselves out.”
He didn’t wait for a response as he left his office. There was so much he needed to attend to, but first on the list was seeing Tessa. Lexi was right about one thing: Tessa was a gentle woman. Too much so to be working for someone like him. How could she hold a position in HR and deal with all the bullshit he threw at her? It was going to break her one day. If it hasn’t already.
When he arrived at her office, the door was closed. He should knock but doing so was going to give her the option to tell him to go away. That wasn’t going to happen, not today.
He opened the door and found her with her arms folded on the desk and her head resting on them. Don’t let her be crying. I can’t handle tears.
“Tessa.”
She looked up at him, her eyes filled with sadness, not tears. Why? He hadn’t said anything to hurt her. At least not that he recalled.
“What are you doing here, Dean?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He was surprised by his own sincerity. He cared for his sister Zoey and his friend Kenzi, but this was nothing like he had ever experienced before. Whatever it was, this
was not the time for it. His life was the way he liked it, not having to worry about what another person felt or thought. Some people are better alone.
“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” Tessa held her chin up to convince him, but he could see right through her today.
He walked around her desk and sat on the corner. Then he reached for her hand but she pulled away. Dean wasn’t going to be deterred. He tipped her chin up so she faced him. “I know I don’t have to, but I do.”
Her green eyes searched his. He was good at hiding his feelings. If she thought she could see a reflection of what he felt, she was mistaken. It was a defensive mechanism he’d learned at a young age, and it was too late to change now, even if he wanted to.
“Dean, we can’t keep doing this. It’s not right and I . . .” Her voice shook.
“It feels right.”
Her bottom lip trembled as he stroked it with his thumb. “Please, Dean.”
Her words said no, but her eyes were begging yes. Bending over, he brought his lips to hers. She made no attempt to pull away, instead she arched her back, turning up to him. Their lips met ever so gently at first, but the hunger within him couldn’t be controlled. His tongue traced her lips and commanded they yield to him.
He kissed her feverishly—the need within him so strong. When his tongue plunged into her mouth, a moan escaped his lips into hers. Never before had a woman ignited such fire within him without even taking off her clothes. What is it about you, Tessa?
His body was pounding with need. Dean was tempted to clear her desk off and have her right there. But this wasn’t the type of woman he could do such a thing with. Lexi was right. Tessa was tenderhearted, and all he would do was cause her pain. Better to hurt her now than to crush her later.
Both of them were breathing heavy as he pulled away. Her green eyes stared up at him with the same hunger he was feeling. The way she was looking at him was killing him. He could so easily take advantage of her right now and satisfy both their needs. Dean knew he would be able to function like normal afterward, but Tessa wouldn’t.
“Have dinner with me tonight.” The words flowed from his mouth before he could stop them. The last thing he needed right now was more alone time with her. He could feel her pulse beating rapidly in her neck where his hand still rested. One of these times, I won’t be able to stop. If you have any sense at all woman, you will say no.
“I’d . . . like that very much,” Tessa said, but her tone sounded unsure, wary.
It was wise for her to fear being alone with him. It was foolish of her to think this could be anything but bad. A gentleman would end it now, but there was no turning back. All he could do was ride out the rest of the day and hope, whatever happened tonight, he wouldn’t hurt her. But I don’t know how that will be possible.
Chapter Nine
“Really, Lexi, I don’t think this is the outfit for tonight. It’s just dinner. That’s all.”
Lexi laughed. “If you wear one of your old granny outfits then that’s all it ever will be. Do you even see how he looks at you? It’s like you’re a box of chocolates, and he wants to make you melt in his mouth.”
Tessa blushed. She was not used to anyone speaking so freely. That was something she admired about Lexi. Her confidence seemed endless. Why hadn’t she and Dean hooked up over the years? From what she’d seen, they were much more compatible than she and Dean were. We’re like night and day.
“And don’t forget to wear the new bra and panties you bought last week. Remember what I said—you have to be ready for anything.”
It didn’t matter what she wore, Tessa was far from ready. She wasn’t Miss Sweet and Innocent. She had been with a man before. It wasn’t anything spectacular. Not even memorable. It was over before it even began.
“Lexi, this is just di—”
“Dinner. Yeah, yeah, you said that before. Do me a favor tonight. Will you for once in your life just relax and have fun? He’s a good guy if you give him a chance. You just have to look past the rough exterior that he puts up.”
She wasn’t sure if Lexi knew what he was like now. That tough exterior had pretty much fired all the original staff in the short time he was acting CEO. How deep was she going to have to dig to find this good guy Lexi was talking about?
If she knew what Dean had accused her of last week, Lexi might be singing a different tune. Even now she was angry at herself for kissing him like she had been starving for the mere essence of his breath. How was it that a person could be angry and hurt, yet find themselves partaking in a kiss so passionate it curled her toes? She wasn’t a teenager with raging hormones. She was twenty-six for goodness sake. So what was the problem?
Tessa knew what it was and hated to admit it, but there was a deep primal sexual attraction between them, one that scared the crap out of her. Agreeing to go out tonight was a mistake. One she wished she could get out of. But it was too late now. He would be there before she knew it, and she would need to make the best of the situation.
She laughed to herself. If I can’t control myself in a public place, how the hell am I going to do so privately? Tessa shook her head. I’m not. I’m going to crumble with one touch, one kiss. There’s no amount of acting I can do to pretend I don’t want him. If I can’t lie to myself, then how can I convince him? Herein lies my problem.
“Tessa, are you even listening to me, or am I talking to myself?”
“Sorry Lexi, I’m trying to get ready while listening.” That was true, or at least close to the truth. She had put the cell phone down on the bed while trying on one outfit then the next. In the end, she went with Lexi’s suggestion of the little black dress they had picked out together. It hugged every curve of her body, and she felt very self-conscious wearing it. But there was also another thing she felt—sexy. Not something she normally felt or, better yet, allowed herself to feel.
“Well if I am right, he should be there soon so snap a selfie and send it to me. I want to make sure you pulled it off without me. Really think you should have let me come over, but I think with my guidance you probably did great.”
I’ve been dressing myself for years. “Okay, Lexi. I have to finish up. Have a good night.”
“Call me if you need to talk. I probably won’t sleep a wink now. I’m like a mother sending her baby girl out on her first date.”
Both of them laughed. “I’ll see you in the morning, Lexi. Get some sleep. We both have a big day ahead of us. It’s a payroll day.”
“Good, maybe you can give me a raise,” Lexi said before she hung up.
I’m just hoping to be able to hold onto our jobs, never mind get a raise.
Dean stood outside her apartment door holding a bouquet of yellow daisies. In all his years he had never bought a woman flowers. What had possessed him to enter that flower shop was still a mystery. When he saw these, he thought of Tessa. Simple, delicate, and refreshing.
I must be losing my mind. Giving her these is going to give the wrong impression. This is just dinner. Nothing more. Even dinner wasn’t wise. Not after the way he had treated her. Did he really think flowers could cover up what a jerk he was? Dean wasn’t sure if diamonds could accomplish that. But what he saw in Tessa was a pure heart. She probably never lied or cheated, and yet I coldheartedly, blatantly accused her of it. What a freaking ass I am. The last thing she needed was someone like him in her life.
Backing out of dinner a few minutes before he was supposed to pick her up wasn’t cool. But tonight he had to keep his control. No more kissing, touching, or any of the other things that had been haunting his dreams at night. This was dinner only. He would keep it friendly and drop her back off home early.
There was a small trash basket at the end of the hall. Dean walked over and tossed the flowers inside. Giving them to her wouldn’t be fair to her. The only fair thing was to be who he really was with her. An arrogant ass, as I’ve been told all my life.
He went back to her door and knocked. When she answered he was le
ft speechless, his breath knocked clear out of him. He actually heard ringing in his ears when all his blood rushed straight to his cock. She was dressed in a sexy black dress that made him want to rip it off her right then and there and take her hard on the damn floor. This night is going to be pure torture.
“Do you want to come in?” Tessa asked with a smile as sweet as she was.
Fuck. Don’t do it, Dean. For once think of someone other than yourself. “The car is waiting for us.”
“Oh, okay. Let me get my purse.”
He stood at the door and watched her walk away. Her confidence seemed to be slipping away. No matter how he handled tonight, she was going to get hurt. All he could do was limit the extent of that hurt.
When she returned, they headed down the hall. As they passed the trash basket, he could see the flowers he had tossed in there. At least, that decision had been a good one. Hopefully he would use his brain the rest of the night and not act on what his unruly cock wanted.
The limo driver opened the door and Tessa slipped inside first. A yellow daisy petal caught his attention on the leather seat. It must have fallen on the ride over to pick her up.
Tessa picked it up in her hand as she slid across the seat. He hoped she hadn’t seen the flowers in the trash. What she said next confirmed she hadn’t. However, it only made him feel more like an ass than he already did. And I didn’t know that was even possible.
Holding the petal up to him, she said innocently, “Daisies are my favorite. They make me think of sunshine on a rainy day.”
Don’t look at me with those sweet green eyes of yours. I’m barely holding back. Dean ignored her comment and tapped the window to let the driver know to drive. The less he said right now, the better. There was nothing wrong with a drive in silence, and he wasn’t going to risk it being broken with a conversation he didn’t want to happen.
Pulling his cell phone from his pocket, he called Brice. There wasn’t anything that needed to be discussed, but any distraction from Tessa at this moment was a welcome one.
Table For Two: Barrington Billionaire's Series: Book Two Page 9
