“We want to help you, Vanessa,” Grace said, “but I want you to realize something that’s very important. You were a victim. None of this was your fault, do you understand? There’s nothing you could have done on your own, you said it yourself. They would have killed you.”
“Yes, they would have,” I whispered, tears falling down my cheeks.
“It wasn’t your fault, Vanessa,” she repeated firmly. “You need to believe that. You need to forgive yourself, because you didn’t do anything wrong. You were just doing what you had to do to survive. And look how strong you are now! Look how far you’ve come. Look where you are now - right here, with us, free from him and his abuse, and what are you doing? Are you running? Are you trying to put it all behind you and forget it? No, you’re out and the first thing you want to do is help get those girls to safety with no regard for your own well-being.” She paused and I let her words sink in. “That doesn’t sound like a victim to me. Not anymore. Listen, Vanessa, it took a lot of strength and courage to do what you’ve done. Remember that. Nobody can take that away from you. Not Royce, not us, not even yourself. You are strong and resilient, most survivors are, that’s how we’ve survived.”
“We?” I asked.
“Yes, definitely we. I’m a survivor. Lacey’s a survivor. All of us sitting around this table have gone through some horrendous things and we’re all here with the same mission. To help those that can’t help themselves. Because we’ve all been there, Vanessa. We all need someone in our lives. Let us be that for you now and you can be that for someone else later.”
I nodded through my tears and Slade reached over, handing me a crumpled up red bandana.
“It’s clean,” he said, smiling at me. I took it from him gratefully, wiping my cheeks and doing my damnedest to stop the tears.
“I can’t thank you all enough,” I said.
“You’ve already thanked us. And you’re welcome. It’s our job to save women like you, Vanessa. You’re here now and we’re going to figure this out together, okay?” Grace said.
“Okay,” I answered, looking around at all of them again. I was usually terrible with names, but each of them was so distinctive and unique that I remembered them all. Grace had taken me around, quickly introducing me to everyone once I’d arrived. Doc sat at the far end of the table, his wild gray hair sticking straight out from the side of his head, his matching gray beard hanging low beneath his chin. Slade sat next to him, charmingly flashing his crooked grin periodically. Riot and Lacey sat together, intently listening to my every word, Lacey’s eyes filling up with tears when mine did. Ryder sat stoically next to Grace, his body exuding a heated anger that grew as my story continued.
And then there was Wreck. He sat quietly next to Slade, staring at me with a calm, steady gaze that unnerved me. I’d pushed the idea of him looking like Jesse out of my mind for now but it was incredibly distracting every single time I looked at him. I felt like I was seeing a ghost.
“Let me tell you a little about us, okay?” Grace said. I nodded, grateful for the break. “A few years ago, I was a cop. Undercover. Vice. I was attacked by a pimp during an undercover assignment and Ryder happened upon us and saved me,” she glanced over at Ryder next to her and smiled softly at him. “After we brought down the people involved, I discovered my partner was in on it, too. It was difficult to go back to being a cop after that. So, together, with Ryder’s club here, the Gods of Chaos, we formed Solid Ground so I could continue my work. It’s been incredibly rewarding. There’s nothing these men won’t do to help a woman who needs help. They’re loyal and brave and bold, which is exactly what is required in situations like this. I couldn’t do it without them.”
“Don’t let Grace fool you into giving us all the credit,” Ryder said. “She does most of the work. Solid Ground is her baby.”
“But we’re a team now,” Grace replied. “Riot is an expert at researching things on the internet and finding people who may not necessarily want to be found. Slade is fearless in the face of danger. Lacey has an intricate past of her own that allows her to bring an insider’s perspective to the table. Doc is a retired Army medic, so in the few instances when we need a doctor, we have our own. Ryder and I together have access to a vast network of people all over the globe that help us with our mission. We’ve got people all over the world looking out for the signs and symptoms that indicate when a woman may need our help, and they reach out to them discretely, just like Diana did with you.”
“That’s all really amazing,” I replied.
“It works, and while it may at first appear that we’re just a bunch of hillbilly bikers living in the woods, that very assumption allows us to do our work without being suspected. We’re very passionate about our work. Now,” she continued, “tell us how we can bring down Royce.”
“Well, I’m not completely sure. I was hoping you could help develop more of a plan with me. I know where the parties are held, I know the upcoming dates but that’s it. I have all this information, but no real plan to be honest.”
“That’s all we need,” Grace reassured me. “Let’s take a break for a bit, maybe get some air and look around a little before dinner. Ryder and I will put our heads together and see what we can come up with.”
“Okay,” I replied, smiling at them all, my gaze lingering on Wreck’s face a little longer than the others. The red angry scar cutting down the side of his face looked fairly fresh and I wondered what happened to him. If his name was any indication, then it must have been a horrible accident.
“You haven’t met everyone yet, but you will. Cherry is in the kitchen, feel free to introduce yourself. She’s a grumpy broad most of the time, but she grows on you. Go for a walk in the woods or something if you want. Dinner should be ready in an hour,” Grace said.
“Thank you,” I said again, my eyes filling with tears once more. I was just so fucking grateful to all of these kind strangers and I had nothing more to give them than my gratitude. I made a mental note to do my best to repay them in the future, however I could. I hadn’t thought much about what my future held before now, never being able to see past escaping, but my horizon was getting a little brighter and bigger with every minute that passed.
Grace hugged me tightly before walking out, and we all slowly streamed out of the War Room and back into the living room of the club house. I was left standing there alone, awkwardness washing over me as I realized I had no idea what to do with myself. I walked out onto the empty porch, staring up at the tall, swaying pine trees overhead. I closed my eyes, inhaling the sweet clean scent of rain that was still lingering in the air.
Footsteps sounded beside me and I opened my eyes and turned my head. My heart fluttered when I saw Wreck standing beside me, his gray eyes looking out towards the trees, too.
“It’s beautiful out here,” I said, my voice soft and low and tinged with the underlying nervousness that had taken root in my gut.
“It really is,” he said, nodding. “Want to take a walk?” he asked, turning and looking into my eyes. The similarities were so striking, they left me breathless. He looked just like Jesse, his eyes, his face, his lips, even his voice sounded similar, but what was I thinking?
Jesse was a boy when I saw him last. Wreck was a man. His face was older than Jesse’s, his eyes darker, his expression harder, his face fuller, his body bigger and more defined, his arms slathered in tattoos and so huge that they looked like they could take down one of those trees if he needed to.
No, he wasn’t Jesse. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind again, determined to leave my past exactly where it needed to be.
“I’d love to take a walk,” I replied, mustering a smile.
He nodded and began walking towards the woods, assuming I’d follow.
And I did. But not without noticing the view that his tight Levi’s provided first.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Wreck
The sun was setting over the trees, but on a day like today, all that meant was that
the sky slowly turned from dreary gray to an even drearier, darker gray until it would eventually fade into darkness. I loved days like this. Maybe it’s because I’m a native Oregonian, or maybe I’m just a miserable fuck, either way, it’s so much better to take than the sun beating down on you.
The rain had let up hours ago, but the puddles still remained on the ground, turning the gravel and dirt beneath our feet into a thick muddy soup that we sloshed through. Rain dripped from the edges of the trees like water dripping from wet fingers. But it was the smell I loved the most. Wet, musky, the faint scent of mildew, even. Oregon rain had a way of cleansing away all the built up shit swimming around in my brain. After every good set of showers, I felt like a new man, even if only for a little while.
“So you grew up in Oregon?” I asked Vanessa, who was walking at my side, her thoughtful green eyes sweeping over the trees. She’d just talked through some heavy shit, I figured small talk was in order at this point.
“Yes, you?” she asked.
“Yeah, born and raised,” I replied. “Probably never leave.”
“No?” she asked. “You wouldn’t like to travel?”
“Nah, what’s the point when I can’t even imagine a more beautiful place than this?”
“Yeah…” she replied, her soft voice trailing off. I looked over at her, drinking in her beauty. She certainly had loads of it. In fact, her face was so perfectly sculpted, she almost didn’t look real. Her perfect skin had not a freckle or blemish anywhere I could see. Long, thick black lashes fringed her sky blue eyes, which I couldn’t help but notice were exactly the same shade that Frankie’s were, only a little darker. Her lush, pink lips appeared to suck the dew right out of the air they were so full. Her hair was long and thick, with heavy blonde waves cascading down her back. And she was tiny, so tiny - her petite frame almost frail.
She may have appeared frail, but her demeanor was the exact opposite. She reminded me of Grace and Lacey, in a way. She was small, but she exuded strength. The three of them had endured things nobody should have to endure, but if there was a silver lining at all, it was the strength of spirit that they’d acquired. It was so evident, it was almost palpable.
“So you’ve been here a long time?” she asked.
“No, actually. Just a few months. My Uncle Ryder let me come hang out for a while, just to test the waters, I guess. To be honest, I was in a bad downward spiral and this was the last resort before I hit bottom.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize Ryder was your uncle.”
“Yep. He’s a good man. All of these dudes are. You’ve come to the right place,” I said, hoping to reassure her a little. I couldn’t imagine what she must be going through.
“Thanks for saying that, I hope everything works out,” she said, her blue eyes shining up at me. It was like a punch in the gut every time I looked at her, because those eyes reminded me so much of Frankie, but that only pissed me off. Would I never get over her? Would I never be able to move on? Usually, I wasn’t so torn about it, but it would be nice if there was a point where I stopped comparing everyone to her.
“I have a feeling it will,” I replied, turning away from her. It was too much to look at those eyes.
“I do, too. Which is weird. I haven’t felt hopeful in a long time,” she said, her voice wistful.
“No?” I asked. “Well, you’ve been through a lot. It makes sense.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she said, taking a deep breath. “What about you?”
“Me? What about me?”
“You said you almost hit rock bottom. What did you mean?”
“I just went through some shit a while back that I couldn’t shake. Started drinking a lot,” I said, my hands shaking as I thought about it. “Partying, you know. Got in some bad accidents.”
“Is that how you got the scar on your face?” she asked.
Shit, I thought. That fucking scar.
I didn’t think about it much, because I rarely looked in the mirror. It was the one scar I couldn’t see without one, but it was the biggest and ugliest, too.
“Yeah, bike accident.”
“Must have been a bad one,” she said.
“Yeah, it was,” I said, shrugging. “But I made it out alive, and that’s what counts, right?”
Her eyes darkened and her face fell at my words.
“Shit, sorry, did I say something wrong?” I asked.
“No, no,” she protested, but her eyes filled with tears, which made feel like shit.
Great, asshole, I thought, you made her cry.
“Sorry,” I muttered. She wiped her tears with Slade’s bandana and mustered a half-assed smile before turning away. She walked off the road and entered the forest, following a trail that would lead us to the nearby creek if we walked long enough.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Where does this go?”
“Well, it’s getting dark and we should probably have a flashlight, but we can go in for a bit. There’s a creek a ways ahead.”
The trees towered over our heads, blocking out most of the already-dim light, and muffling the sounds coming from the clubhouse behind us. Fallen pine needles crunched under my boots as the dark pine trees embraced us with their eerie silence.
“It’s so quiet,” Vanessa said, as I followed behind her.
“Yeah, it’s peaceful,” I whispered. We walked a few yards down the trail, farther into the darkness. It hit me that I hadn’t been alone with a woman in a long time. Hell, I hadn’t been attracted to a woman in a long time and I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a glimmer of attraction to Vanessa bubbling up inside of me.
Hell, how could I not be? Perfect face, perfect body, and she seemed nice enough. But those things were usually low on my list of requirements, so I was confused about what I was feeling.
It was probably just my body responding to a beautiful woman. Nature, nothing more. To my horror, my dick and my head were at odds. But I pushed it all away, because more than anything Vanessa was off-limits. The last thing she needed was some asshole like me trying to get into her pants. There was just something about her that drew me to her right away and that was what I was fighting. But fight I would do. Because I was determined not to be a prick, and to show Ryder that I was worth taking in. He’d be so pissed off if I fucked this up.
And so would I. I’d come to value this place like no other and I had no intention of leaving. Not like I had any place to go to anyway.
“Maybe we should turn back,” I said after we’d gone a little farther and my cock had hardened in my pants, because I couldn’t tear my eyes from her ass. I should probably avoid being alone with her at all, I thought to myself.
Vanessa was staring up at the trees like she’d never seen one before.
“Sure, okay. I just…I spent most of my time locked away in a fucking mansion in the city for the last ten years. It’s nice to be close to nature,” she said, her voice so soft I had to strain to hear her.
I nodded silently and we turned to walk back to the road. We’d taken two steps, when a soft swoosh sounded beside us and Vanessa jumped like she’d been shot and leaned into me.
I laughed softly, patting her back as I stared at the huge, yellow blinking eyes sitting in a low hanging branch above us.
“That’s Oliver, don’t worry,” I said. “He’s harmless.”
“Oliver?” Vanessa asked, her eyes almost as wide as the owl’s staring back at us.
“Yep, he’s sort of become the club mascot. He has a wife, too.”
“A wife?” she asked with a bewildered smile.
“Yeah, Olivia. They’re so fucking cute together, it’s adorable. They come around - a lot! Sometimes they sit on the porch with everyone. Ryder and Slade are the only two they let get close enough to touch them, but they sure do like sitting around and watching all of us.”
“That’s amazing,” Vanessa said, her smile widening. With another startling swoosh, Olivia landed at her mate’s side.
“Oh!” Vanessa exclaime
d.
“Hey Olivia,” I greeted her. She turned our way, her big eyes blinking.
“Are they always together?” Vanessa asked.
“Pretty much, yeah. They rarely leave each other’s side.”
“I had no idea they were so friendly with humans,” she said.
“I think they usually aren’t. But Ryder has some crazy history with Oliver and he swears he’s been following him around for years.”
“I love it,” she whispered, her eyes glued to them.
“Yeah, me too,” I said. “Me, too. They’re pretty great.”
I stared over at her, once again taking in how beautiful she was. The low light barely illuminated her face, the trees throwing dark shadows over the contours and curves of her features. If I squinted my eyes just right, I could almost see a little Frankie in her.
Jesus fucking Christ, I thought. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve got a beautiful woman by my side and all I can think of is how I can make her look like my old dead girlfriend from ten years ago. I’m pathetic.
“Dinner’s ready!” I heard Cherry’s loud voice booming through the trees.
“Guess it’s time to go back,” Vanessa said, smiling up at me, her smile sending electric jolts right to my gut.
You’re just hungry, asshole, I thought.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s go. See you later, guys!” I waved at the owls and I could have sworn Oliver winked at me before I turned away.
I shook my head, trying once more to clear away the cobwebs of the past. If I couldn’t let go of it, I knew I’d never have a future.
Up till now, that hadn’t mattered much.
But now? For some unknown reason, I was slowly starting to care.
CHAPTER NINE
Grace
I was standing in the kitchen when I felt a warm pair of arms snake around my waist. I smiled, leaning into Ryder’s body behind me. He bent his head, leaning down to gently kiss my neck. A wave of pleasure washed over me, my body coming alive at his touch.
WRECKED: GODS OF CHAOS MC, BOOK FOUR Page 6
