Nick tried to control his laughter. “I don’t know, Jacky boy. I think it might have been the hurricane known as Trixie.”
They politely sat down on giant floor pillows she had at one end of the room. Nick thought it would be rude for them to sit on the little love seat where there was only room for two. That would make their hostess have to take the floor. She was back just a few minute later, bursting into the room.
“I got ’em! Now we can have a proper-like Brandy Smash. Nick, darlin’, can you light those candles for me? We need some atmosphere.”
She eyed Nick and Jack up and down as if she were suddenly seeing them for the first time that night.
“Didn’t I tell you fellas to get comfy? I guess maybe you’re shy. But I pour heavy, so we’ll fix that in a jiff! And the floor pillows—I like your thinkin’! Jack, sweetie, can I trouble you to slice up these oranges? I need them real thin-like.”
Both Jack and Nick ran around doing Trixie’s bidding, and in no time she had some fancy drinks for them and the bluesy sounds of Mamie Smith playing. Nick was surprised when she dropped onto one of the throw pillows to join them.
“Isn’t Mamie just divine? I love the blues. Sometimes it’s the only thing that makes me feel human, ya know?”
Nick had to chuckle at himself at the way Trixie talked. She asked plenty of questions, but never waited to hear the answers. Nick sipped his drink. It was different-tasting than the brandy his uncle had shared with him, but it was still good. He hadn’t been so sure about all of the stuff she’d thrown into the concoction, but it had a refreshing taste.
“This is real nice, Trixie,” said Jack. “Thanks a lot. Say, how’d your audition go today?”
An odd expression crossed her face. “Well, I had other stuff I had to do, but it’s okay. There’s an even better one coming up, and I’m sure to get that one.” She perked right back up as if someone had cattle-prodded her. “Ya know, I have a little cokey here if ya wanna do a toot. It’ll keep the party goin’ longer.”
She winked yet again. Nick squirmed a little on the pillow. He had a bad feeling he knew what she was talking about. The primary party favour back on Broadway, and in the theatre, had been liquor. However, one of the younger comedians had developed quite a dependence on cocaine to get him through his high-energy acts each night on the stage.
“You have some Coca-Cola?”
Jack knew all about booze, but not some of the other goodies that people could immerse themselves in, to either enhance a good time or diminish their troubles for a while. This time, Trixie absolutely roared with laughter.
“Yeah, sweetie—somethin’ like that! Only in a much purer form.”
Nick interjected. “Trixie, I don’t mind whatever it is you wanna do, but Jack and me, we just like to stick to the hooch if that’s okay.”
She slugged back the rest of her drink, and put the glass down on the floor next to the red velvet pillow she was lounging across.
“Mmmm,” she purred, her body moving languidly all of a sudden. “Hooch is fine with me. But I think I’d like to get things goin’ now. I feel warm and tingly all over.”
She sat up and turned her back to Nick.
“Do you mind undoin’ the buttons?”
Nick’s heart slammed in his chest. There had been an obvious miscommunication between all of them.
“Uh, Trixie. There might be somethin’ about me and Jack you don’t understand. We’re, well, we’re real close. Very close.”
She peered over her shoulder, looking at him from underneath her long fake eyelashes.
“I know, Nick. That doesn’t bother me. I’ve always wanted to be with two guys who were into each other too. I think it would be so much nicer than a gang-bang. Don’t ya think? More tender like.”
Oh God.
“Uh, Trixie…are you tryin’ to make whoopee with us?”
If they weren’t in such a serious situation, Nick would have laughed uncontrollably at Jack’s statement.
“What else?”
She batted her eyelashes at Jack, and gave him a big air-kiss. She started to crawl towards him, whilst he backed away saucer-eyed as if a wildcat were about to pounce on him.
Nick grabbed Trixie’s shoulder gently.
“Doll, wait. Please don’t get insulted, or take this the wrong way, ’cuz you’re a real looker. But Jack and I only do that with each other.”
Nick involuntarily winced on the last part.
Except when I’m selling myself.
Trixie sat back on her heels, pouting.
Jack stared at his hands, obviously embarrassed. Nick spoke up.
“I’m real sorry, Trixie. I guess we should leave now. But it’s been a real pleasure to have met you, and we hope you become a huge success.”
Nick was starting to get up when Trixie grabbed his arm and yanked him back down.
“What the…”
“I’m the sorry one. Don’t go. I really want you boys to stay. I ain’t gonna ask you for that no more. I’ve just known a lot of guys like you who want to do that with a dame is all.”
“Aw geez, Trixie, I didn’t wanna go neither. I just think you’re real swell, and I know we can still all be friends, right, Nick?”
“Of course, Jacky boy. Hey, Trixie—how did you know me and Jack were queer?”
She frowned.
“First off, anyone can see how in love you two fellas are, especially this one over here. Make sure he never gets in no poker game. And second of all, don’t say ‘queer’. It ain’t so nice.”
Nick raised his eyebrows. “Oh? And whaddya you know about it?”
“I know a lotta actors and musicians— I even started in the theatre. You guys ain’t the only ones been near a stage. And they’re all calling each other ‘gay’ now. It’s much nicer.”
Nick shook his head. “Yeah, I heard that one back in New York. I guess I’m supposed to go around calling myself happy all the time.”
Trixie giggled. “Hey, why not?”
There was a bit of an awkward silence, then Trixie said in the most tentative voice Nick had heard her use, “There was one thing I was hopin’ though. I mean, if yas don’t mind and all.”
“Anythin’ you want, Trix.”
Nick glared at Jack. “He means, if we can.”
“Oh I know, honey. I just, well like I said, I ain’t never been with men who liked each other. It’s only been me they was tryin’ to do stuff to. I know you guys ain’t into doin’ anythin’ with me…but…could you just kiss each other? Just so’s I can see that?”
Nick was stunned. He had not been expecting that request. However, one other thing seemed to shine through what she’d been saying. He was sure Trixie would understand just exactly what he’d been experiencing in the last week with Ricky and Wilson. Not that he would ever tell her, but he felt a little more kinship with her than he had. He wanted to do this one small thing for her.
“Whaddya say, Jacky boy?”
Jack had been silent through their whole conversation, and Nick wondered what he was thinking about it all.
“Nick, ya know how we have to hide all the time? How we can never let anyone see just how much we care about each other?”
“Yeah. Of course I do. I have to remind myself now more than ever.”
“Okay, so what if we show Trixie? That could be the one time we don’t have to hide.”
Trixie didn’t say a word. So far, it was the only time they’d been around her where she hadn’t uttered a peep. She seemed to be in breathless anticipation.
Jack scooted closer to Nick, and he gathered Jack in his arms, pulling him onto his lap. Cradling him, Nick bent over to softly brush his lips back and forth over Jack’s slightly parted ones. He heard Trixie sigh. Nick slid his hand under Jack’s new dress shirt, and caressed his chest. Nick stopped teasing Jack, and plunged into his mouth, exploring him completely with his tongue, deepening the kiss further. Jack reciprocated, throwing his arms about Nick’s shoulders and grasping firmly
.
It was actually very sensual. He was surprised that he actually got hard. There was a brief moment where he thought about going further and giving Trixie a real show, but he thought better of it. He pulled away from Jack’s mouth, and gently disentangled himself.
“Aw. It was just gettin’ good!”
Jack blushed, and Nick almost grabbed him again to plunder his mouth some more.
“I take it that you enjoyed that?” asked Nick. He was becoming more and more forward with each passing hour he spent in Dreamland.
“I’ll say. Hey, you two ever wanna make some extra dough, I can hook you up.”
Nick went rigid. “Jack don’t do that kinda thing!”
“Geez, Nick, ya don’t have to yell.”
“Yeah, Nick.” Trixie frowned. “I was just tryin’ to help. I’m not talkin’ about you or Jack doin’ nothin’ with nobody—just to each other.”
“What?”
“All I’m sayin’ is that I know a lot of rich people, powerful people—all different kindsa people. And some of ’em like what I can offer, but others like what you can offer. There are plenty who’ll pay just to watch.”
Just when I thought I’d heard of everything.
“Watch us kiss?”
Nick buried his head in his hands. He looked back up at Jack. “Jesus. No. She means they’ll pay to watch us make whoopee, as you called it.”
“They wanna watch us fuck?”
There was a moment of silence, then both Nick and Trixie burst out laughing. They were laughing so hard, they fell over on the pillows, tears running down their cheeks. Trixie clutched her side.
“Oh, God, Jack. You are so precious, you know that? You are such a darlin’. I want to hug and squeeze you all day!”
“I don’t see what was so funny,” he said in a sulky voice.
Nick pulled Jack onto his lap again, and kissed him hard on the mouth. “You’re my man, Jacky boy. I’d tell the whole world if I could.”
“Aaw, you guys are so sweet. Forget what I said about that other stuff, I need to get you guys invited to one a’ the lavender romps that Roman has at his place.”
Jack sat straight up and gasped. “Roman? Roman Pasquale?”
“The one and the same.”
“You’ve been to his actual place?”
Nick groaned inwardly. Now, thanks to Trixie, he’d never hear the end of it. Roman was Jack’s new favourite. Ever since he’d seen The Conquistador, about a brave and heroic Spanish adventurer, he’d been lost.
“Boy, I’d have to buy a brand new suit for that.”
“Silk pyjamas would be more like it.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. We all wear our lingerie or unmentionables for the romps. Now if he does one a’ his proper-like parties for the studios, that’s different. You could wear a suit or tux to that.”
“Can I ask what happens at these romps?”
Nick was concerned that this could turn into another type of atmosphere that he didn’t want Jack to be around.
“They’re very discreet. You can only go by invitation and such. Everyone just has fun with everyone, ya know?”
“So you mean guys with guys, and not just with girls?”
“Sure. And girls with girls and a coupla girls with a coupla guys—whatever anyone feels like doin’. But you should see his place.” She made a whistling sound. “It is the swankiest joint I ever seen. And the food? I ain’t never eaten any better, not even at Musso & Frank’s.”
“So…” said Nick, “You go with girls too?”
“Sure, why not? I like girls—sometimes better than I like boys. Or should I say, men. I ain’t never had no woman hit me, or push me around.”
Her eyes clouded over, and Nick felt they were touching on a painful subject. He didn’t want to make Trixie feel bad, so he changed the topic.
“I was wonderin’, Trixie—I know you’re from the Bronx and all, but how’d you get from there to Hollywood?”
That sent Trixie into a long and descriptive story of all the things she’d done in the theatre since she’d been only fifteen. Her family hadn’t been able to afford any lessons, but she’d learnt on her own to dance and sing a little. The rest of her education was through experience. Finally, she and a few other girls threw their lot in together and headed west. She missed her Mama, but wrote to her and sent her extra money whenever she could.
“So, you’re the only kid?”
“Yeah. After Papa left, she was done with guys—at least marryin’ them. She had some she brought around, and they’d bring us gifts and such…” Her voice trailed off.
Nick cleared his throat. “Well I’m sure your Mama cared about you a whole lot, and was willin’ to do whatever it took to take care of you.”
Don’t I know it.
Trixie brightened again. “Yeah. She’s my whole world, the only thing I can really count on in this crummy life.”
“But you’re gonna be a big star, Trixie. That ain’t crummy!”
Leave it to Jack.
She leaned over and caressed his cheek with her knuckles. Tears glistened in her eyes. “From your mouth to God’s ears, honey.”
She let out a heavy sigh, then pasted on her good-time girl face again.
“I think this party needs another drink, right, boys?”
Nick smiled in understanding. He could see that Trixie could bend very far. He just hoped that she wouldn’t break.
Or that I don’t either.
Chapter Fourteen
It had been almost a month since they’d got to know Trixie, and Jack felt like he couldn’t get enough of her. He didn’t love her like he loved Nick. She was more like a sister to him. A big sister that he looked up to, and wished he could be like one day. And it also seemed like he had a bigger family. There had only ever been his aunt Bertha at one time when he was very little. She was the only one he could remember anything about at all. He’d been five years old when he’d been left at the orphanage, and the Fathers had always told him that he didn’t need to know anything about his past. He should just worry about his future and how he was going to be a fine upstanding lad and do God’s work.
But it still plagued him not knowing who his blood family was. Had he been so unlovable they had just wanted to get rid of him? Or was there someone still out there who missed him and wished they knew where he was? He wished he could find out. The love Nick showed him, and the way he had helped him when he’d first arrived in New York, meant everything to him. And now he felt close to Trixie too, so it helped to make up for the ones he didn’t know about.
It had all been very exciting going to different places with Trixie. She’d even taken them along to a couple of parties that other small-time actors had thrown. He’d spied a few faces he recognised in the crowds, and had the chance to briefly meet one of his favourite actresses, the beautiful Barbara La Marr—Douglas Fairbank’s co-star in The Three Musketeers—but was so tongue-tied, he was sure she thought he was loony.
Not every night was spent with Trixie. Sometimes she begged off, saying she had an important meeting about picture work, which puzzled Jack. Why was she going to these appointments late at night? She claimed it was because they were so busy all day at the studios that it was the only time they could see her. But on every other night when she wasn’t busy, there was always something new and exciting she would introduce them to.
There was only one thing that stood in the way of complete contentment for Jack. The way Nick acted now and then. Some of it was the liquor. But it was more than that. They had a little bit of money now, so it seemed as though that had a lot to do with why Nick drank a lot—at least that was what Jack had assumed initially. It wasn’t like the old days where they had to save up, and only went out once in a while on a lark. However, there was more to it than that.
It was obvious to Jack that Nick was hiding something. He knew him much too well. Whenever Nick had some trick up his sleeve, a big plan, or was concealing a matter or ev
ent he believed Jack was too young to handle, he would get squirrelly. He would change the subject a lot if Jack came too close to whatever it was Nick was trying to cover up, and he would put on his extra-jolly act to steer Jack in another direction.
Jack had always deferred to Nick in everything. When they had met, it was only natural. Jack was still very young, and had never had to care for himself before. Nick had literally saved him. But that had been over three years ago, and Jack had grown up a lot since then. He’d had no choice. Living on the streets, working hard and making their way to a new side of the country with no clear prospects had made Jack stronger, less afraid. Sure, Nick still had a lot more street smarts than him—he’d seen and done more—but Jack was quickly catching up.
Especially in the celluloid kingdom. Jack had figured out that Hollywood had a way of yanking people up by their collar and shaking them around until their teeth rattled. Every day, Jack learnt about some new way to fuck, party or con, either by witnessing it, or hearing about it from Bernie, the other workers, Trixie or a hop-head he met at one of the gin joints. He would never view the world or the human race the same ever again.
He wanted to tell this to Nick, but he was afraid it would break Nick’s heart. But how could he not realise this was happening, when he was by Jack’s side at every single debauched gathering? That could very well be why Nick was drinking so much—to ignore the reality of the changes happening to Jack.
He can’t bottle me up forever like the pure and innocent boy he’s always seen me as. Maybe he’ll stop loving me if I’m not like that anymore.
It was agonising to think about. He would have to confront Nick eventually, but had to figure out the best time to do it. He had never directly challenged him before.
Trixie had left them a message at the motel that there was something exciting she had planned for them for the evening, and that they should dress in their finest threads. Nick was passed out on the bed, snoring heavily. He had taken to napping a lot when they came home from work. With the late nights of partying, and the early hours at work—it had started to take its toll. Jack napped once in a while to catch up, or slept in when they had a day off, but he figured it was Nick’s drinking that made him so exhausted all the time. If nothing else, Jack was concerned about his man’s health.
Hollywood Bound Page 14
