The last part rose up on a yell. There wasn’t the slightest chance anyone would take notice though. The roar of the party made sure of that.
Jack moved closer to him, reaching out.
“Nick, please, that wasn’t how it was at all. I wanted to introduce you, but you’d already walked away.”
“Sure ya did, Jack. Sure. That’s why ya came runnin’ after me.”
“Come on, Nick, that ain’t fair. You know how important actin’ is to me.”
“Oh really? What? For the last month? You ain’t never said shit to me about bein’ no actor before then. But suddenly it’s more important than the guy who’s been there and sacrificed everything for you for the last three fucking years!”
Nick turned away from his Jack, and stared down at the people who put on a great show of being happy below him. His breath came in gasps, the force of his rage making him shake.
“Then you know nothin’ about me! If I’m such a fuckin’ burden to you, I’ll leave. Then you won’t have to worry no more about havin’ to take care of me.”
Nick bowed his head and sighed. He closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down. The booze was doing most of his talking, and he’d let loose on Jack unfairly. He turned back around.
“Jack, I…”
But he was gone. Jack was gone.
Chapter Fifteen
The tears wouldn’t stop streaming down his face. Jack just kept walking and walking. He had no idea where he was even going anymore. The party had been someplace way up in the hills, farther than he’d ever been, so they’d all shared a taxi to get there.
How could he yell at me like that? Does he really regret taking care of me all these years?
Jack’s heart was coming apart. It was all such a mess, and he didn’t know what to do to fix it. Or if it even could be fixed. He hadn’t recognised the person screaming at him at the party. Nick had never said anything like that to him before. Jack stifled a sob. He needed to pull himself together.
Maybe it was just the hooch talking.
But that didn’t excuse Nick. If liquor was the problem, than that should be what they talked about. Unless there was something else bothering Nick. Maybe he really had become fed up with worrying about Jack all the time.
No. Please don’t let him give up on me.
But maybe Nick really was scared that Jack was the one who’d given up on him. It seemed so silly for him to get so hurt over not meeting some guy from the studios.
Is he jealous?
Jack shouldn’t have left the party. He should have waited, but he had been more upset than he’d ever been in his life. Even when the kids had beaten him up back at the boys’ home, it hadn’t been this bad. He hadn’t loved them. He hadn’t been shocked that someone he cared about so much would intentionally inflict pain on him, even if it was just with words.
It was very dark on the winding streets, but he could see the lights and a little traffic from the boulevard below. He reached Highland, and he remembered that if he continued to follow it downhill, he would reach Hollywood Boulevard, then a few blocks more would take him to Sunset. From there, he could take a left. Even though it would be a hell of a long walk, he’d know where he was and make it home eventually.
If I still have a home.
He made it to Cahuenga, and walked past the Hollywood Bowl where the Boulevard became Highland Avenue. Maybe one day he would go there with Nick. He wasn’t sure how much of an orchestra guy Nick was, but hell, he wasn’t sure how much of one he was either. He just knew that a lot of the hoity-toity types they met around town liked to go there. He comforted himself by imagining all of the things he and Nick would get to do together one day. Just like the train—and what they did on the train—they would share things they’d never done with anyone else.
By the time he made it to Hollywood Boulevard, his feet were aching. He checked his pocket. There was a dollar, and two dimes. He wasn’t very good at knowing about what cabs cost—another thing Nick always took care of—but he was willing to go as far as the money would take him. He waved down the very next one he saw.
“I’m headed to Sunset and Gower. Actually, as close as you can get me for a buck.”
“I can get you there, don’t worry.”
The cabbie tipped his hat, leaned over and pushed the door open for him. Jack got in, a little nervous. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like being without Nick by his side. But if things didn’t work out…
I can’t think about that.
It was good for him to get some cojones, which was what José, one of the painters on the crew, called balls. But he’d rather work on it with Nick still in his life. Jack rested his head against the window and watched everything fly by. It was like the way things had been happening ever since they’d arrived in Hollywood. Everything just kept on flying by.
Trixie had taken pity on Nick and got him a cab back home. When he’d told her that Jack had left the party, they’d both been frantic with worry. But Nick had been home for over an hour, and he’d seen no sign of Jack. The adrenaline rushing through him had sobered him up immediately. Now all he could do was dwell on where Jack might be.
Where could he have gone?
Nick wasn‘t sure how much dough Jack had on him, so he had no idea if he’d be able to afford a cab. Or for that matter, if he’d even know how to get back to their place.
Dammit. I never should have treated him like such a child all these years.
He didn’t want to face the truth about that. It was quite possible that he’d continued to take care of everything for Jack past the point of necessity, just to make sure Jack would have no choice but to stay with him.
I’m just as much a rat bastard as Wilson in my own way.
Nick ran his fingers through his hair. Trixie hadn’t stayed. She’d had another one of her appointments to keep.
God, we’re all just a stew of humanity trying to dog-paddle our way to something better.
At that moment, Nick had a revelation. He’d had it all along, but had never realised it. They’d already had something better—each other. But it was Nick’s own restlessness and his search for the next big thing that had actually ruined everything. It didn’t mean they should have stayed in New York, but it didn’t mean they should have come to California either. They should have just focused on one another, then gone where they could be the happiest together. Nick had always fixated on reaching out to something else, when he should have just reached for Jack.
It might be too late. Jack might have already caught Nick’s fever of looking for something better, but Nick wasn’t going to give up yet. Not when his entire being was wrapped up in Jack.
Another horrible thought crept in. What if Jack met someone out there like Ricky? What if he told the guy no, and the guy took what he wanted anyway? Gut-wrenching fear overtook Nick. He couldn’t sit there a second longer. He jumped up, and rushed out of the motel to search the streets. He had no idea where, but he would try to walk back towards where the party had been. Nick couldn’t let his man wander the streets of Hollywood alone at night.
The cab driver dropped Jack off at the corner, and he headed up the block towards their motel. At least he hoped it was still their motel. He was sad and tired. His feet still hurt, but he knew he’d been lucky to get a taxi the rest of the way home. A dark figure approached him, and Jack’s heart rate sped up. It was well after midnight, and there could be anyone out on the streets that time of the night. They were in the section of Hollywood that people called Poverty Row, and Jack imagined there were all sorts of toughs wandering about.
The figure was closer now. Jack could see that he was tall, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets. He walked with a quick intensity, and Jack was just about to run to the other side of the street so that he didn’t have to pass him when the stranger walked under a street lamp.
Nick!
He stopped abruptly, and locked eyes with Jack.
“Oh, my God!”
Nick
raced towards him, but Jack stood frozen to the spot, not sure if he should believe his eyes. In seconds, Nick was upon him, clutching him and lifting him right off the ground. Jack was crushed by Nick’s embrace as he whirled him around. Jack clung to Nick, and the tears began to fall again. Nick lowered him gently back down, but still didn’t let go.
“I was so afraid,” Nick whispered. “I was terrified that you might get hurt or lost, oh God, Jack, I’m so sorry. So very sorry.”
Jack couldn’t stop crying. Nick was back, and he was sorry.
“Come on, Jacky boy, let’s get off the streets. Let’s go home.”
They made it up the stairs, still leaning on one another. They couldn’t keep their hands still as they held on to each other, and Jack could feel that Nick’s need was as strong as his own. They pushed through the door of their room, and once he kicked the door closed behind him, Nick grabbed Jack’s head and plunged into his mouth. Jack was lost in the kiss as Nick furiously licked all around his teeth, tongue, everywhere, until Jack felt consumed by Nick. He didn’t stop, he just kept claiming him over and over, until Jack was against the hard wall, his back pressed roughly against it. Nick had him trapped, almost like the time in the alley back in New York.
But there was a ferocity, a fire in Nick that Jack had only seen glimpses of. When Nick had been like this with him, he’d wanted Nick to completely let go—go as far as he could—but he’d always seemed to hold himself back. Nick had Jack’s wrists trapped above his head as before, but Jack was more experienced now. He knew what he wanted from his lover. Jack ground his crotch into him. Nick groaned, keeping his lips fastened onto Jack’s. He continued to rub against Nick’s thigh. It was an erotic sensation against the slicker, thinner fabrics of the loose-legged dress pants they wore. Jack was ready to be taken by Nick, and he wanted to make sure there was no doubt as to just how ready he was.
Nick broke their kiss, and used his free hand to yank at Jack’s belt. Jack struggled to get away to further incite Nick, but he tightened his grip. Nick reiterated his intent by loosening his hold, then slamming Jack’s wrists against the wall again.
Nick stared down at Jack, his look greedy and full of promise.
Jack didn’t want Nick’s fire to fade, so he struggled again to force Nick to grasp him stronger.
“You still want me, Jack?”
Nick gritted it out through a clenched jaw, his smoky breath hot on Jack’s face. He nibbled on Jack’s ear lobe just hard enough that it bordered on being too painful. Jack needed him to go farther, to dominate him completely.
Jack stuck his chin up, playing at being defiant. “I want you, but I don’t think you want me.”
Nick let go of Jack’s ear and frowned at him. “Whaddya mean by that?”
He sounded angry.
Perfect.
“Show me, Nick. Show me that I’m really yours. Don’t hold back.”
Nick’s breath was coming in ragged gasps. “Jesus Jack.”
Nick went back to removing Jack’s belt, and when he’d pulled that free, he undid Jack’s dress pants, letting them fall to the floor. After that came Jack’s shorts, and the clothing lay pooled at his feet.
“Step out of them, and kick them aside.”
Jack never broke eye contact with Nick as he pushed his clothes away. Nick looked down at Jack’s erection, and smiled. Looking into Nick’s eyes again, he saw the raw need, and began to shake from the anticipation at what Nick might do.
Without continuing to undress Jack any further, he whipped him around so that he was pressed face first into the wall.
“Stay like this with your hands above your head. Don’t move. Got it?”
Jack nodded, and Nick grabbed his hair forcefully and yanked his head back.
“Answer me.”
“Got it.”
Jack rested his cheek against the side of the plastered wall closest to their bed. His swollen dick was pressed almost painfully against the hard surface, and he was filled with the excitement of what Nick had in store for him.
He heard the sounds of their one small wooden chair being dragged on the floor. Nick shoved its back next to him, the seat facing the room. Nick used his hand to push the back of Jack’s knee so that it bent. Then Nick lifted Jack’s leg so that he had one foot planted securely on the chair.
“Mmmm. That’s nice, Jacky boy, just like that. Don’t move. I’m not done.”
With his right foot on the chair seat, it angled him out slightly. His dick was now a little freer, but it was tantalisingly close to the wall, the tip brushing against it with the slightest of movements. The next sensation was Nick’s fingers probing his asshole, using the grease to soften him up. It was different like this. Standing there, so exposed to Nick—not being able to see him—left him in a state of vulnerability that was extremely arousing.
In and out, Nick thrust two fingers, then three. He shoved a fourth finger in, stretching Jack deliciously. Nick twisted his hand around in Jack, deepening the penetration until his thumb stopped him. With Nick wiggling his digits inside him even more, Jack couldn’t stop himself from pushing back against Nick’s hand, his forehead pressed against the hard plaster, sweat dripping down his face. Jack’s cum leaked from Nick’s invasive touch—a precursor to being taken completely by his lover.
“More,” Jack rasped out, “I need more.”
Nick removed his fingers with slow deliberation, and Jack sighed in ecstasy as his rear passage closed around them. He heard Nick fumbling with his own clothing, then felt Nick use his work-roughened hand to grasp his left hip. Nick’s cockhead was pushed up against Jack’s anus, and he closed his eyes, awaiting that wondrous moment when he would finally be breached by his man.
But Nick was teasing him. He had to be using his other hand to direct his dick, because Jack could feel it sliding all around his opening, but not going in. He felt some pressure, and was sure Nick would push it in all the way. But just as he felt sure it would pop in, Nick pulled it back out. It was such an agony. Desire built low in his groin to the point of hurting.
“Please, Nick, please…” he whimpered, his nails scraping the wall where he still held his hands up high.
But Nick wouldn’t end Jack’s torture. Nick used his teeth on his back as well—little nips and licks between his shoulder blades, and at the crook of his neck. Nick latched on to Jack’s shoulder, and sucked furiously until he was sure Nick was going to wrench his skin right off.
Nick stopped and growled at him, “I’ve left my mark on you, Jacky boy.”
“Oh, God, Nick, I can’t take it.”
“Take what?”
“You know what I want.”
“Tell me, Jack. Tell me so I can give you what you need.”
Nick had never talked like this before. He’d always been so silent when they’d had sex. It hadn’t seemed to be shyness, but more of Nick carefully controlling his emotions like he always did.
“Fuck me, Nick. Please fuck me.”
“Like this?”
With no warning, Nick shoved his entire length into Jack. He cried out as Nick drove into him mercilessly. With Nick’s right hand free, he went back to imprisoning Jack’s wrists in an iron grip. Nick’s upper body pressed Jack even harder into the wall, so with his head turned to the side, his cheek was smashed against it.
Nick pistoned his hips faster and harder, using the strength of his powerful legs to thrust up and all the way in Jack’s ass. The chair began to slide away from the force of Nick’s onslaught.
Jack wanted to savour being completely claimed by Nick. But his longing was too overpowering. As Nick slammed into him again and again, his balls tightened up his dick pulsed, and with an unexpected loud cry, Jack spurted his orgasm all over the wall, and the floor. The chair fell completely away, and Nick wasn’t able to hold himself in Jack against the force of Jack’s spasms.
Nick encircled Jack’s waist with both arms, effortlessly lifting him up, and tossed him face down on the bed. Nick covered him with
his body immediately, grunting, and pulling Jack’s leg up once more for better access. There was no preamble this time. Nick rammed his cock into Jack. The breath was knocked right out of him, and Nick had him trapped. He couldn’t move, not even a little bit. Nick had made sure to drape himself in a way that Jack was completely lost to Nick’s strength. All Jack could do was lie still as Nick breached him over and over. All of his thoughts focused on the burning sensation in his ass.
With the same suddenness Jack had experienced, Nick yelled out his release, and Jack felt the throbbing of Nick’s shaft inside him, the warm liquid filling him, leaving Jack with a sense of completion.
Nick is back. It’s okay now.
Nick released a little of his weight off Jack, so that he wasn’t so crushed. The hot air from Nick’s breath tickled his neck. Nick rubbed his lips lightly back and forth on Jack’s overly sensitised skin. His nerves were attuned to his lover’s touch, Jack’s orgasm waking them up.
“Don’t ever leave me, Jacky boy.”
“I love you, Nick. Why would I ever leave you?”
“I don’t know. Let’s not talk about it. I just wanna hold you. Let me go get a towel, then we can snuggle up together.”
Jack giggled a little. He was sure he’d never heard Nick use a word like ‘snuggle’ before.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothin’, Nick. I’m just really happy is all.”
Nick lifted himself off him, and Jack rolled over to face Nick as he sat up on the edge of the bed. Nick ruffled Jack’s hair like he used to do when he first knew Nick.
“You’re not a kid no more, Jack. I don’t mean to treat you like you are. I’m just lookin’ out for you is all.”
Jack scrunched his eyebrows together. “I know that, Nick. But I need to learn how to take care of myself too. I can’t stay helpless forever.”
Nick bowed his head. “You’re right. I’m just havin’ a hard time gettin’ used to it.”
Nick sighed and stood up. Jack watched him as he went to the bathroom, and turned on the spigot. He came back a couple of minutes later, and handed Jack the cloth dampened with a little water. Jack cleaned himself up, and Nick took the towel from him, tossing it on the floor. Nick climbed in, and Jack curled up next to him, a feeling of safety washing over him. He knew they should probably talk about the fight they’d had, and about Nick’s drinking. But Jack was basking in the after-glow of their sexual frenzy together, and besides, it was very late. They could sleep in tomorrow since it was Saturday, but Jack was tired, and he was sure Nick was too. As if in confirmation, Jack heard a light snore.
Hollywood Bound Page 16
