Toby pocketed the key.
He picked up the second item. This was much heavier, and much more lethal.
Turning the revolver over in his hand, Toby felt a sense of sadness sweep over him, as if all of Mr. Joseph’s private pain had seeped into its wood and metal. Toby opened the chamber. Empty. He clicked the chamber back.
The last item was a box of cartridges. Toby took it out, flipped it open and tipped five brass cartridges onto his palm. He studied them for a while before tipping them back into the box. As he placed the box into his pocket, he wondered why the old man hadn’t taken the gun with him. Had he simply forgotten to take it when he left? Was it too risky carrying firearms where he was going?
Or maybe he no longer needed it.
Toby liked that last thought, but he knew, as he left the house, that it was the least likely of the three.
Back home, Toby headed up to his room and from the closet, took out the shoebox. He placed the gun, key and box of cartridges inside, then placed the shoebox back and went over to his chest of drawers. He pulled open the bottom drawer, lifted the stack of comic books, and took out the sheet of paper that was hidden underneath.
His parents still asleep, he took Mr. Joseph’s letter downstairs, turned on one of the gas stove burners and touched one edge of the letter to the flame. He took the flaming letter over to the sink, where he watched a man’s secrets burn. When the paper had all but disintegrated, he turned on the tap and watched the ash swirl down the drain.
Now, Mr. Joseph lived only in his mind.
ONE
MONTH LATER
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Toby awoke to the sound of a single gunshot echoing in his head.
He sat up, breathless.
It was dark, middle-of-the-night dark, and as he hopped out of bed, a sense of déjà vu washed over him.
He went to the window, pulled back the curtain and gazed down at the old house across the street.
It was bathed in darkness.
Toby heaved a deep sigh.
After a spell, he wandered back to bed, closed his eyes, and fell asleep almost immediately.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Toby sat on his bed, waiting for Gloria to arrive.
It was a Saturday night, the last Saturday before school started on Tuesday. An end-of-summer celebration had been organized up on Taylor’s Hill, similar to the one that was held at the beginning of the summer—the one Toby and Frankie never made it to.
The party was bound to be huge, the not-to-be-missed party of the summer.
And Toby was scared to death about going.
Damn it, why did I have to say yes? She’ll be here any moment, and what will I do?
He stood, walked to the window and gazed down at the street. Saw only hazy shadows cast by the rows of elms. Gloria said she would sneak out of her house and be at his place at around eleven-thirty—any earlier, she said, and they’d risk getting caught (which was true; Toby’s parents had only gone to bed half an hour ago). And anyway, Gloria had said, the party would only just be getting started, so there was no need to get there any earlier.
Though life in Belford had returned to almost normal since Mr. Joseph left (except for Warrick still missing), Toby was still hesitant about seeing his peers after everything that had happened. Gloria, on the phone earlier, talking about the party, organizing their late-night rendezvous, had said it would be good for him to go, that it would send a message to everyone that he wasn’t scared of them. She had also told him, with a hint of longing, that she missed him and wanted to see him, and that the party was a good chance for them to spend some time together.
How could he say no to that? So even though the mere thought of the party sent his gut into a nervous twitch and made his palms sweat, he had agreed.
But now, standing by the window, waiting for Gloria, he was beginning to have second thoughts.
What if his parents found out? They would ground him for the next ten years, maybe longer. Or Gloria’s parents? He didn’t want her getting in trouble.
He was deciding what to do when Toby noticed a shape moving around below. Looking down, he saw Gloria. She was creeping along the sidewalk, head darting this way and that. She stopped behind the hedge separating Toby’s property from the Weisenburn’s, craned her head around and looked up at Toby’s room. Upon seeing him, she made an O shape with her thumb and forefinger, then raised her hands, asking him if everything was okay.
Seeing her made him realize just how much he had missed her, how much he wanted to spend time with her, so though he was nervous about going to the party, his heart won out. Really, he wondered, what was there to be scared about? Most of the people at the party would be too drunk to care about little ol’ Toby Fairchild.
He nodded, raised a finger, telling her to wait a minute. As she ducked back behind the hedge, Toby turned and started towards his bedroom door.
He was about to leave, when he stopped, turned and looked over at his closet.
Go on, take it.
He hesitated, but then something in the back of his mind told him to take it. So he crept over to his closet. Inside he picked up the shoebox and took out the revolver and the box of cartridges. He placed the gun down the waistband of his shorts, covering it with his T-shirt, then stuffed the box of cartridges into one of the pockets. He placed the shoebox back and closed the closet door.
He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to take the gun to the party—protection maybe? No, that wasn’t it. He didn’t feel that danger, per se, was imminent. Strangely enough, the word that came to mind was peace. But what that had to do with Mr. Joseph’s old revolver Toby didn’t know.
He left his bedroom and made his way downstairs, careful not to make a sound.
He snuck out the back door, and once outside, hurried over to Gloria.
“Hey,” Gloria said, and when she smiled it lit Toby’s insides.
“Hey yourself.”
Gloria was wearing snug fitting jeans and a lacy shirt. She wore just the right amount of make-up and smelled divine, like apple-blossom.
“Sorry I’m a bit late. I wanted to make sure both my parents were asleep. Dad went to bed a little later than usual.”
“That’s okay. I’m just glad to see you.”
Gloria smiled again. “Come on.”
Hand-in-hand they started up Pineview.
“You nervous?” she asked, voice louder once they were away from Toby’s house.
“Yeah, a little. You?”
“Sure, I guess,” Gloria said, the warm breeze teasing her golden hair. “But I’m more nervous about Tuesday. I can’t believe we start high school. Grade nine.”
Toby sighed. “Yeah. Are you looking forward to starting?”
A pause. “I guess so. I mean, there was a time not so long ago when high school seemed so far away. It felt like we’d never get there, you know? But it’s come up so fast. I don’t know if I’m quite ready for it.”
“Me either,” he admitted. “High school. It sounds so... grown-up. And it’s going to be extra weird for me.”
Gloria frowned. But it didn’t last long. “Oh.” She offered a kind smile.
“I always thought that no matter what happened in life, that no matter how hard school was, I’d always have Frankie there with me. My partner in crime. We often talked about high school, about what we thought it would be like, what we’d be like, what we’d look like, about...” He stopped just before he said, “girls.” There were certain things you only talked about with guys.
“About...?”
“Nothing. Just, we also used to talk about going to college together, sharing a dorm room, then finally living together afterwards. We had all these plans. And now Frankie’s gone.” He was surprised at the touch of anger he felt, along with the sadness. It was almost as if Frankie had just upped and left town or moved onto a new group of friends rather than died. It was silly and as they continued towards Taylor’s Hill, Toby said a silent apology to Frankie.<
br />
“Well, you’ve still got some friends. So it won’t be all bad, will it?”
Toby smiled. “No, I guess not.” But his smile dropped as it occurred to him. He may have Gloria now, but once they started high school, how much longer would they stay together? How could he compete with the older high school boys? Compared with them, he was still just a small, clumsy kid. Toby wouldn’t blame her for wanting to associate with more mature people. After all, girls matured faster than guys—or so they say. Toby could picture it now; for the first few weeks they would hang around together, stealing kisses here and there. But as they both got settled in, met new people, they would drift apart and Gloria would be picked up by the popular crowd, be ogled by every male in school. Toby would inevitably be pushed aside. Not out of spite or meanness, it was just the way things went. He wouldn’t hate Gloria for it. He could never hate Gloria.
But, for the moment, they were together. He knew he had to make the most of the time he still had with her. If there was one thing he had learned over this tumultuous summer, with the loss of Frankie and listening to Mr. Joseph’s story, it was that you had to cherish the here and now, cherish the time spent with the people you cared about. Because you never knew what tomorrow would bring.
So Toby stopped, bringing Gloria to a halt, and when she turned to him, he planted his mouth over hers.
Gloria opened her mouth and let Toby in, then her hand reached around to the back of his head and gently caressed his hair.
They kissed long, tenderly. It was very, very good.
Afterwards, Gloria exhaled and said, “Wow.”
Toby smiled.
Sure, he may lose Gloria in the wilds of high school, but he would forever have the memory of this summer; the kisses, the talks, the one memorable, scary, exciting moment on the couch. He figured a lot of people were never so lucky to have such fond memories.
They continued walking, talking casually about what they had been up to, and the upcoming Labor Day picnic and barbecue in the town square. It was getting on midnight when they reached Taylor’s Hill.
Cars were parked all around the base of the hill. Most were empty, though there was the odd group sitting on hoods passing a bottle of alcohol, or a joint back and forth. A few of the cars’ windows were fogged-up, which made Toby feel both awkward and excited. Streams of people were either going up or coming down the path winding through the woods. Toby and Gloria joined the throng and started the trek up.
“I’ve never been to a party up here,” Toby said to Gloria, who was now a gray shape beside him. The moonlight only broke through the tops of the trees in dabs.
“Don’t worry, it’ll be fun,” Gloria said and gave Toby’s hand a gentle squeeze.
They heard the music first, and then light broke through the trees.
The path leveled out, the trees fell away and the sight that greeted them was one of pure adolescent rapture.
Hundreds of teenagers were spread around the large open area, most concentrated around a raging bonfire. Music from the portable stereo thumped through the night. People danced, people mulled around, laughing, people were on the ground making out, people were having drinking contests. There were more shimmering bottles of booze than Toby had ever seen in his life.
“Wow, some party,” Gloria said, smiling at Toby, and then, spotting Danielle and Emma near the fire, she said, “Come on,” and pulled Toby towards them.
Smells washed past Toby as they made their way to Gloria’s friends—the fresh earthiness of the woods gave way to smoke from the bonfire, and then all sorts of smells ebbed and flowed underneath: perfume, aftershave, beer, whiskey, cigarette, cigar, dope.
A far cry from the sleepovers and tree house parties he was used to.
When they reached Danielle and Emma, Gloria let go of Toby and hugged her friends. “Some party, huh?” Danielle said, taking a swill of beer. “We were wondering when you were gonna show.”
“Yeah, Drew’s already puked,” Emma said with a shake of her head. “Boy can’t hold his liquor.”
“Can’t wait till high school, when we get to be around real men, not boys.” Danielle looked at Toby and, looking slightly embarrassed, said, “Oh, hey Toby.”
Toby nodded hello to both girls.
“Gloria, you want a beer? There’s plenty on ice.”
“Sure.” She turned to Toby. “You want one?”
“Sure, why not.”
The heat from the bonfire was like standing next to an oven with its door open, so a cold drink—even a beer—was just the ticket.
Emma left.
“Hot, I know,” Danielle said with a chuckle. “But it is nice. And it does give good light.”
Over on the other side of the fire, a bunch of topless seventeen-year-old guys spat alcohol into the fire. The flames intensified briefly, as did their drunken laughter. “Look at her burn,” one of them cackled.
“Now there’s a good mix; fire and alcohol,” Toby commented, and Gloria and Danielle laughingly agreed.
Soon Emma returned with two frosty cans of Bud. She handed one to Gloria, the other to Toby.
The Bud was just as bitter as the Coors, but at least it was cold.
“Say, you guys wanna go someplace else?” Danielle said, looking from Gloria to Emma. “It’s getting too hot standing here.”
“I think me and Toby will just walk around, mingle a bit, check out what’s going on,” Gloria said. “Maybe we’ll catch you guys later?”
“Sure, whatever,” Emma said.
“Just don’t go into the woods by yourself,” Danielle said. “There are lots of drunken, horny guys around.”
“Isn’t that kinda the point in coming here?” Emma said, frowning at Danielle.
Danielle shrugged. “Well I’m just saying. Stay in the areas where there’s light.”
“Unless she wants to be alone with Toby,” Emma said with a wink.
“Very funny,” Gloria said. “Later.”
Once they were away from Danielle and Emma, Toby said, “Thanks. I know your friends don’t like me too much.”
“Danny does. But Emma... I love her and all, but she can be a bitch when she wants to be. She thinks we should all be dating older guys. She thinks that dating anyone our age is demeaning or something. It’s silly. I mean, she’s still with Drew, and he’s our age; at least, I think they’re still together. It’s hard to keep up with those two.”
Hand-in-hand once again, they walked casually around the field, saying hello to friends and acquaintances (well, it was mostly Gloria who said the hellos), sipping their beers.
When they came across a very drunk Paul Rodriguez, Toby and Gloria stopped.
“Hey, Paul,” Toby said.
The short, thin boy stopped chatting to a couple of guys Toby didn’t know the names of, turned around and raised the can of beer he was holding. “Toby, my man, good to see you,” he slurred. He reached out and draped an arm around Toby. He smelled of sweat and alcohol. “Some party, huh?” When his drunken gaze fell on Gloria, he said, “Shit, sorry Gloria, didn’t mean to be rude. How are you this fine evening?”
Gloria smiled. “I’m doing all right, Paul. And how are you?”
Paul howled, and then took a long drink. “Me, I’m flying.”
Toby glanced at Gloria and raised his eyebrows.
He had never seen Paul like this—come to think of it, he had never seen any of his ex-classmates like this. He had only ever seen Frankie and Warrick drunk.
“Actually, Toby, I’m surprised to see you here,” Paul said.
“Yeah, why’s that?” Toby said, feeling vaguely uncomfortable with Paul’s arm around his shoulders.
“Well, I didn’t think this would be your scene. Especially, you know, after everything that happened.”
Toby frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You know, Frankie dying, the whole thing with that old freak.” Paul leaned in, breathing hot beer-breath in Toby’s face. “Tell me, what did you talk about when you
went over to his house?”
Toby grabbed Paul’s arm and unhooked it from around his shoulders. “Your mother,” he spat.
Paul flinched, and a sudden look of shock came over his sweat-beaded face. “Hey, why so defensive, bro? I thought we were friends?”
“If we’re friends, then how come you never came over to see me after I got back from the hospital?”
“I did,” he said. “I came over to see if you wanted to play a game of baseball.”
“In my condition? That was smart. I meant just to, you know, hang out.”
Paul frowned. He shrugged. “Fucked if I know,” he said, then laughed.
Toby sighed, and looking at Gloria, motioned with his head to keep moving.
“Asshole,” Gloria said as they moved away from Paul.
“Hey, what I say?” he called, but Toby didn’t turn back.
He just kept on walking.
“Hey, slow down,” Gloria said and pulled Toby to a stop. “Toby? You wanna leave?”
He faced Gloria. In the glow of the firelight, her face looked like bronze. “No, we just got here. This is the last weekend of summer. I want you to have a good time tonight.”
“And you. You deserve it more than anyone.”
“Right, ‘cos of Frankie dying and the whole thing with that old freak.”
Gloria first broke into a smile, then she laughed.
Toby smiled back.
“You wanna sit somewhere, just talk?”
Toby nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.” He scanned the field. “Over there,” he said, nodding to an empty space on the outer edges of the circle of light cast by the bonfire. They walked over, threading through the maze of bodies. They sat down, the grass bristly underneath. From here they had a good view of the party, without being in the heart of the drinking and the roughhousing. Behind them lay darkness, the end of the open area, and the continuation of the woods. There was probably more roughhousing going on behind the trees and in the bushes, though of a different sort.
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