Even though you spend every day with your child, you may find yourself absent from most photos years down the road. To avoid being asked, “Where were you?” make sure to jump in front of the camera once in a while. For the first year or two you may want to do a photo shoot every few months, and after that every six months to a year will work. Make sure to take the photo in the same position—for example, the child standing in front of or beside her parent. That way you’ll see the evolution of both! Create a special scrapbook just for these portraits. While you are taking this photo, make sure to ask the photographer to take some silly ones of the two of you hugging, laughing, throwing a ball, or making faces. You can put these alongside the portrait in a sequence of events shot.
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Jolly St. Nick
Make an ongoing list of what Santa brings your child every year, as well as what she asks for, which is sometimes hilarious! Save letters to Santa, birthday lists, or any other requests your child makes for gifts. When she’s all grown up and complaining how much stuff her own kids have and want, you can pull out her own not-so-little lists for a stroll down memory lane.
* Words of Wisdom *
My son always froze in front of the video camera, so we could never capture whatever charming thing he was doing. We have the kind with the tiny swivel screen in addition to the eyepiece. Once we started using the eyepiece for filming and swiveling the screen so that he could watch himself as we taped, he really got into it!
—Matt, Tallahassee, Florida
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Silhouettes
Use masking tape to affix dark construction paper to a smooth wall. Turn on a light source: a slide-show projector, flashlight, or lamp. Place your child standing sideways in front of construction paper so that you get a profile image of his face on the paper. You might have to move the light source closer or farther back to make it fit on the paper. Trace your child’s profile with white chalk. Remove the paper from the wall. Cut out the profile and glue it onto light-colored construction paper. Write the child’s name, age, and date on it. If you do one of these every year, take the current year’s silhouette and move it to the back of the frame. At some point you may want to move them to a larger frame and put all the past silhouettes in a yearly progression.
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Storybook
Use your child’s artwork to make a storybook. Be sure to have your child tell you about the art as soon as it comes in the door or leaves the drawing table. Jot down the story behind it, the characters involved, and what is going on in the picture. Write or type the story on a separate piece of paper and then glue it to the back of the picture. Keep them in a box or tie them together by punching holes in the top and tying with yarn. If you want to make a longer story by putting many pictures together, try to pick artwork with similar themes and then create a story using the pictures.
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Scrapbook Flare
A child or family scrapbook can be so much more than an attractive colorful layout of photos with a cute headline. The most vital element in a scrapbook is narration—personal reflections on who is in the photographs and thoughts on when, where, and why the event took place. Most parents remember to document vacations, holidays, and birthdays, but to really capture life with your toddler, consider some everyday themes.
How many times have you looked at old family photos and zoomed in on the background for clues about how the subjects lived? Make those things intentional in your scrapbook so your child can one day laugh with her grandchildren about the kinds of cars you drive, the home she grew up in and its furniture, or the clothes she wore. Use the nicknames you call your toddler—and tell the story behind them.
Document the hilarious things she says and does.
Focus on her favorites—stories, hobbies, and foods. Maybe even write about what she adamantly doesn’t like.
On birthdays, capture more than just the traditional candle-blowing, cake-eating, and present-opening shots; write about who she is, what she might become given what you know about her (is she so convincing and outspoken that she has lawyer potential?) and your hopes for her.
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Your Child’s Journal
Buy a blank book and start writing to your child today. Your child may not be born or your child may be two years old; whatever the age, it is never too late to begin recording your thoughts, feelings, observations, and descriptions of your child’s life and personality. Write as often as you can and include your feelings about your baby, how she contributes to the beauty of your life, and most of all your feelings of love. Write letters to her, things you want her to know when she is an adult, cute things she does that you might forget over time. As she grows into adolescence, read her some of your thoughts when she is going through a hard time or when she thinks you hate her because you need to correct a behavior. It will remind her that you have been loving her for a very long time. When your child leaves home, give her this precious journal. This might just be the gift she will cherish most from you.
Twelve Games Parents Play
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New Twist to Reward Charts
Younger children often don’t see the benefit of the sticker system as a reward for good behavior or potty training. Here are a few options to try:
Take a large poster of his favorite character. Glue it onto a piece of cardboard and cut it out into a simple puzzle. Each successful potty trip or good behavior results in adding a new piece to the puzzle. When the puzzle is complete, he gets a prize.
If your child is into trains, draw up a train track. Each successful potty trip (or whatever) gets a sticker—and one track closer to the end prize…a new train!
You can do the same with an ice-cream cone—fill in all the waffle diamonds and the child gets a trip to an ice-cream parlor!
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Separation Anxiety
Make a photo album for your child to take along to daycare, preschool, or the baby-sitter. Place a photo of a family member on one side with a small bio or interesting tale written on the other. This will help the caregiver to know about the child’s loved ones, house, or favorite toys so that she can relate to the child on a familiar level. In addition, it’s a great icebreaker for the child!
* Words of Wisdom *
We wanted the transition to daycare to be as smooth as possible. When we’d selected a place, we brought our son there to visit a few times before his first day. We had him pose for a cheerful photo with each of his new caregivers. Then we displayed the photos in his room and talked about them often—pointing out the friendly smiles of the caregivers, the bright colors in the background, the neat race-car rug underneath them, etc. That way he felt much more familiar and comfortable on his first day.
—Ashley, Huntsville, Alabama
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Aggression
Hitting, biting, and hair-pulling are common behaviors for toddlers. Be firm that these behaviors aren’t tolerated. Say “No!” and remove your child from the situation immediately and matter-of-factly. Don’t give him any extra attention (even negative); instead lavish the attention on the injured party. That way there’s no reward for the aggressive behavior, so it’s likely to stop, given time. Teach your child to say that he’s sorry, and require that he help soothe the person he hurt. This will help him realize the pain he caused and become more compassionate and nurturing (also, of course, over time!).
* Words of Wisdom *
I’ve learned I have to pick my battles. I let my son make choices in the little things like what he wants to wear or eat. That way when I need to make a choice, he usually goes along with it.
—Gill, Columbus, Georgia
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Boredom Busters
When all the toys seem suddenly boring, here are a few tricks to have up your sleeve:
Get into the habit of rotating toys. Every month, put a bunch of them in a box or laundry basket to be stored out in the garage where your child won’t see them.
Create theme boxes. Fill a bo
x with a particular theme and pull it out when the need arises. For example, collect hair items for a hairdresser box, stickers for a sticker box, play-dough toys with some tubs of play dough, various-sized containers for sorting pasta pieces, old telephone and other office supplies for an “office box,” a dressup box, or block-building box. When organized like this, the activities will be easier to facilitate and won’t require your full participation.
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Potty Training Readiness
Don’t panic if your child is slow to be potty trained. Rest assured he will not be wearing diapers when he enters kindergarten! You’ll know your child is ready to give potty training a try when you see the following signs:
He expresses interest by watching Mom and Dad and maybe even sitting on the toilet himself.
He understands what the toilet is for and knows the words for going potty.
He can stay dry for a couple of hours at a time.
He seems to recognize having a bowel movement—he squats, makes “the look,” etc.
He would rather not be wearing diapers and is interested in big-boy pants.
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Tooth-Brushing Basics
Do it regularly—never give up. Floss, too, if you can.
Use only a pea-sized amount of toothpaste and encourage him to spit, not swallow.
Brush alongside him so he can mimic you, but always follow up by brushing his teeth yourself!
If he can’t see into the mirror, set a small stand-up mirror on the bathroom counter so he can see.
Let him brush your teeth.
For fun, turn off the bathroom light and shine a flashlight on his teeth while your child looks into a mirror and brushes.
Have him brush a favorite puppet or stuffed animal for practice. Have a stuffed animal “hold” the brush. Let him choose his own toothbrush and toothpaste.
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Picky Eaters
Keep a bowl of healthy snacks in either the refrigerator or cupboard that is within your child’s reach or view. Bag up trail mixes, Cheerios, or other snacks that you don’t mind her eating, and let her choose from the bowl when she is hungry. The ability to choose for herself often appeals to a toddler’s need for authority and gets your child eating when her normally picky little mind might refrain.
Surprise her with unexpected combinations. Serve breakfast for dinner, use flat-bottomed ice-cream cones as food cups with yogurt or cottage cheese inside, or be artistic with food presentation using cookie cutters to shape sandwiches or making funny faces or scenes out of the food.
Have her participate in cooking and even vegetable gardening!
Kids love to dip—offer healthy dips such as mild salsas, yogurt, cottage cheese, cream cheese, guacamole, and pureed fruits.
Serve smoothies. These can be made out of yogurt, fruit juice, ice cubes, or sherbet, with fresh fruit. Freeze the fresh fruit in advance if you don’t want to use ice or sherbet.
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Positive Naptime
Toddlers like choices and negotiation, so it helps to offer your child naptime options, such as, “Would you like your curtains open or closed?” or “Which animal would you like to nap with?” But don’t offer him the option not to nap, as he needs a regular break from activity as much as you do. If he doesn’t want to nap, make him a deal. Go through the usual naptime routine, but assure him that it’s fine if he chooses not to sleep. He can play with his animals or whatever he likes. The only rule is that he has to do it in the crib or bed in his own room. That way, you’ll both achieve the much-needed downtime. You may find that after he plays quietly for a while, your child will doze off despite his intentions to stay up and play. Establish a pattern of naptime or quiet time every afternoon at least until your child begins first grade.
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Kicking the Pacifier
It’s best to eliminate the pacifier somewhere between the ages of two and five. The sooner the better, say many dentists, pediatricians, and speech therapists. The best way to start is with daytime elimination. Keep the pacifier out of reach and out of sight or at least inconvenient, so your child has to request it. This will make sucking it a conscious decision versus a mindless habit. Try to replace it with something soothing, such as humming. Start humming around her whenever she is sucking on her pacifier. Give her some control in the process by setting up a token system. You begin by giving her five tokens to trade, each worth fifteen minutes of daytime pacifier use. As time goes on, you can give her fewer tokens per day.
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Transfer to the Big-Kid Bed
This is a big deal in the life of a toddler. For some, the idea is a wonderful adventure. Then there are others who are very reluctant to give up the safety and familiarity of the crib. Here are a few tips to make the transition a success:
Put the new bed against the wall and a detachable guardrail on the outside. This leaves fewer ways for your child to fall out of bed.
Take your child to the store to buy the bed, new sheets, and bedspread. Once he sees all the fun character sheets, he’ll be excited about his new bed decor.
At first you might want to put the crib or twin mattress on the floor. That will quiet the fear of falling out of bed.
If the move to a big bed is required because a new baby is on the way, make the switch at least two months before the new baby arrives. Otherwise your toddler is going to feel like he was kicked out of his bed.
For safety reasons, you need to make a transition to a bed when your child is able to climb out of the crib or is thirty-five inches tall, whichever happens first.
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Thumb-Be-Gone
Most dentists would like toddlers to stop sucking their thumbs by age three. But the problem with a thumb is that it is always handy. You can’t take it away, keep it out of reach, or trade it in for something else. Here’s what you can do:
Keep your toddler’s hands busy by offering her a toy to hold when she’d rather be sucking her thumb. Maybe she could stroke or twirl her doll’s hair or rub her hand on a smooth rock.
Buy fun Band-Aids, or make your own by putting stickers on top of plain ones. Let her choose which one to put on her thumb each morning.
Have her wear mittens or socks on her hands at night.
Try the bitter substance that is made to prevent thumb-sucking that you paint on, but let her paint it on so she feels in control.
Reward little steps toward success. If she doesn’t suck her thumb for an hour, she gets a sticker or treat. The goal is to lessen the amount of time she needs to suck her thumb, gradually replacing it with other self-soothing techniques.
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Dawdler Toddler
Most toddlers dawdle at some point during the day, often at mealtime, bedtime, and anytime you’re in a big hurry to get somewhere. Here’s what you can do to speed them up:
Make a game of the activity by challenging her to a race: “I wonder who can get her socks on the fastest?”
Set a timer or count to ten. Usually the excitement of the countdown motivates.
Move her away from distractions like TV and toys.
Be sure to give her enough time to accomplish things in her own time and at her skill level.
Maintain schedules and routines that help her to anticipate when she needs to do things. Take your afternoon trip to the park as soon as she wakes up from her nap so she knows she needs to get ready to go.
Remind her of any inherent rewards for getting something done faster—more time at the park if you leave now or another quick story before bed if she gets her teeth brushed.
Praise her when she does accomplish something efficiently.
Development
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Fifteen to Eighteen Months: Do and Feel
Physically, your toddler may:
Walk without support
Untie shoes
Bowl over other children or pets with exuberance and lack of coordination
Eat smaller meals, but snack often
Stack
two to three blocks
Emotionally, your toddler may:
Express a variety of feelings
Be unpredictable
Respond to others’ emotions and expressions
Show preferences for toys and people
Become easily frustrated
Start to display temper tantrums
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Fifteen to Eighteen Months: Express and Think
Socially, your toddler may:
Have difficulty sharing toys and attention
Show affection
Demand attention from caregivers
Be wary of unfamiliar faces and places
Express fear of things like loud noises and large animals
Intellectually, your toddler may:
Follow simple requests
Find things that are hidden
Use trial and error to figure things out
Use physical gestures to communicate
Know and use a handful of simple words (including “no”)
Realize words stand for things
Imitate animal sounds
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Eighteen to Twenty-One Months: Do and Feel
Physically, your toddler may:
Walk confidently
Sheila Ellison Page 19
