‘What happened to your parents?’
‘They died when I was seventeen,’ Nina explained. ‘I tried to get custody but …’ She shook her head.
‘Too young.’
‘Yes,’ Nina said, ‘but it was a bit more than that. I was very angry at my parents for dying. I was a lot like Janey is now. I lost my temper with the social workers on more than one occasion.’ It helped that he smiled a little as she told him, because the guilt of her handling of things back then still ate away at her to this day. ‘So I managed to stuff everything up …’
‘You were seventeen,’ Jack pointed out. ‘Do you really think you could have taken care of them?’
‘No,’ Nina admitted. ‘But it just hurt so much that we were separated. My parents weren’t well off, there was no insurance, no savings, nothing. I know the department was right to place them, but that was then and this is now. I’ve just moved into a three-bedroomed apartment and I’m about to go again and try for custody.’
‘Without losing your temper this time?’
‘Yes,’ Nina said.
‘Without getting all fired up.’
‘Yes.’ And this time she smiled.
‘You’re going to go in there being cool and the amazing professional that you are.’
‘Thanks.’ She looked over at him. ‘It’s hard enough to be dispassionate when you’re fighting for a client, but when it’s family, well, you can imagine what that’s like …’
Actually, Jack couldn’t, but he chose not to say anything, just let Nina continue to talk. ‘I thought there would be no problem, but Janey ran a way a few weeks ago, and when she turned up on my doorstep I didn’t let Barbara or the case worker know where she was. I know I should have rung straight away, I know I was wrong, but I just wanted some time to get to the bottom of what was going on before they took her back. Then the duty social worker turned up at my door and, of course, there she was.’
‘Another black mark against Nina.’
‘I just want my family together.’
‘You’ll get them.’
‘I’m not sure.’ She blew out a breath. ‘I work very long hours …’
‘Can you reduce them?’
Nina gave a tight shrug. She didn’t want to drone on about her finances to someone who simply wouldn’t understand. ‘I also volunteer at the pro bono centre in Harlem eight hours a week …’
‘Well, that can go,’ Jack said, and Nina felt her hand tighten around her wine glass. She looked at him, at a man who had had everything handed to him on a plate as he coolly dismissed something that was very important to her.
‘I happen to like working there,’ Nina said. ‘It’s extremely important to me. Without them …’ She stopped, she just wasn’t going to get into this with Jack, but rather than letting her drop it Jack pushed for Nina to go on.
‘Without them …?’
‘They do amazing work,’ Nina said. ‘It’s run by very passionate, caring people.’
‘Unlike me.’ Jack grinned. He could hear the barbs behind her words.
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You think it, though.’
Nina shrugged again.
‘I can’t afford to get involved, Nina.’
She didn’t buy it.
‘How can you not?’ She blinked at him. ‘You’re a brilliant doctor. I’ve actually seen you in action the rare times you’re hands on. You and I both know …’ She halted. There were some things that should perhaps not be said.
‘Go on,’ Jack invited.
‘I don’t think I should.’
‘Off the record?’ Jack smiled. ‘And, no, you can’t screw me here.’
He made her blush, he made her smile, he gave her permission to be honest.
‘I’m not criticising the other doctor, but I do think that had it been you who examined Tommy …’ She took a slug of her wine before continuing. ‘Well, things might have been picked up a little sooner.’
Jack would never criticise a colleague and certainly not to a woman he didn’t really know—idle gossip was a dangerous thing—but he absolutely agreed with Nina. He’d thought exactly the same thing.
Not only that, he’d had a rather long and difficult conversation with the locum registrar just that morning, not that he could share that with Nina.
‘I just think …’ She really should say no more, except his silence invited her to go on. Sometimes she was a little too honest and even as the words tumbled out, she wished she could take them back. ‘Instead of sucking up to benefactors, you’d be better off with the patients.’ She knew she had gone too far, knew from the flicker of darkness across his eyes that she’d overstepped the mark, and she recanted a little. ‘Certainly the patients would be better off …’
She was nothing like Jack was used to.
Nothing like anyone he had ever been out with before.
He could not think of one person who had ever spoken to him like this, yet over and over she had.
‘Do you ever got involved?’ Nina asked a little later, when she was scraping her dessert bowl. ‘I mean, do you ever get close?’
‘Are we still talking about work?’ Jack grinned.
‘Of course.’ Nina gave a tight smile. She already knew the answer in regard to his personal life. Jack saw the smile, matched it and then upped it, just looked at her and smiled till her face was pink and her toes were curling in her boots.
‘No,’ he said. ‘And no at work as well.’ Then he stopped smiling. ‘I’m not a machine, Nina. I get a bit upset sometimes, I guess, and some things get to me more than others but, no, I work better by staying back …’
He thought he might get a brief lecture, thought the frown was a precursor to criticism, but then, perhaps properly for the first time that night, her eyes met his. ‘You’d be really good at the pro bono centre.’
It was Jack frowning now. ‘I already do a lot …’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not asking you to volunteer. I’m just saying that someone like you would be really good.’ She gave him a smile when he had expected a rebuff. ‘I am sorry for what I said last night—I guess cool heads are needed at times.’
Except his head wasn’t so cool now.
And, no, he never got involved on a personal level either. Jack didn’t do dating and long conversations, and certainly no explorations into someone else’s past, except he found himself wanting to know about a younger Nina, found himself asking how she’d fared when her parents had died.
‘It was rough for a while, but I got there.’
‘How?’
‘I had friends.’ She gave a tight shrug. ‘Couch-surfed for a while …’
‘Couch-surfed?’
‘Slept on friends’ sofas.’ He watched her face burn and then blue eyes met his. ‘I nearly ended up on the streets.’
Jack could perhaps see why she was so angry at times, why she struggled so much in her efforts to keep families together—given the impact it had had on her life when she’d lost hers. ‘So how come—?’
‘I’m not going there, Jack,’ she interrupted.
‘Sure,’ Jack said. Usually it was him pulling back, usually it was him closing off and refusing to discuss things.
And so they chatted about other stuff when he really wanted to know more about Nina. He simply didn’t know how to play her, because when he glanced at his phone and saw how late it was, had it been anyone else, they’d have been back at his apartment and safely in bed.
Safely in bed, because that was what Jack knew and did best. He wasn’t used to that awkward moment when they climbed into his car, because usually both parties knew exactly where they were headed.
‘No, thanks,’ she said to his oh-so-casual offer of a nightcap at his place. ‘It’s already late and I’m the duty worker tomorrow night.’
So not only was Jack not used to going to back to her place, neither was he familiar with a smile at the front door and no invitation to come inside.
; ‘Thanks so much for tonight,’ Nina said. ‘It was nice to clear the air.’
‘Oh, we haven’t cleared the air yet,’ he said, and he gave her the kiss that he should have last night.
Not a gentle kiss, a very thorough kiss, a kiss that meant business.
She should have resisted, Nina thought as she kissed him back. She should have at least made some token protest, but there was something very consuming about being kissed by Jack, something that would make you a liar if you attempted to deny the effect, because like the man himself it was a top-notch kiss, and, like the man himself, very soon it went too far.
His mouth had left hers and had moved to her neck, his hands pulling her hips into him, and he was just as turned on as she was. He made sure Nina could feel it and then his voice was low in her ear. ‘Am I going to be asked inside?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Can you be persuaded?’
He kissed her again and, no, she couldn’t be persuaded, because she trusted her heart to no one and certainly she’d be a fool to trust it to a man like Jack.
She pulled away. ‘I’d better go.’
She was playing with fire here, Nina knew it. So she stepped back a little and went into her bag for her key.
‘Nina—’
‘Thanks so much for dinner.’
And she gave him a smile, stepped into the safety of her flat and closed the door on him. On them.
No matter how she might want to, Nina was so not going there.
These next few weeks were the most important of her life and she was not going into them with a head messed up by Jack Carter. And he would mess it up.
His reputation preceded him.
And she had her family to think of.
CHAPTER SEVEN
OVER THE FOLLOWING days Nina avoided Jack. She didn’t return his calls and when he stopped her in the corridor one lunchtime and asked if she wanted to go out that night, she gave a vague reason as to why she couldn’t, was polite and smiled and then quickly moved on.
Unused to being rebuffed, Jack didn’t like it one bit.
Still, even if he had to face her in a few moments, right now there were more important things on his mind. Jack, Alex and the oncologist Terence were going over the planned course of treatment before speaking with Mike, and on one thing Alex remained resolute.
‘I want it made clear to the father that there are no guarantees. I don’t want him to be given false hope. Really, we’re just trying to buy Tommy some more time here, because even if the chemo does shrink it, I don’t know that surgery will be an option. It would be incredibly risky—most surgeons wouldn’t touch it.’
‘But you take on patients that others wouldn’t,’ Jack pointed out. ‘That’s why Angel’s needs you.’
They stopped the discussion as there was a knock on the door, but Jack knew full well what was getting to Alex. Still, he wasn’t going to discuss it in front of Terence, and now the oncology nurse had arrived to sit in on the discussion with Mike.
‘The father’s outside with the case worker,’ Gina said.
‘Okay.’ Jack nodded. ‘Tell them to come in.’
Nina didn’t blush when she saw him, Jack noted, and, yes, her coolness towards him was grating, her dismissal when he called or spoke to her seriously irked him—perhaps because he wasn’t in the least used to it. Still, right now the focus of the meeting was Tommy and his father and preparing them for the difficult months ahead.
‘It’s basically a marathon that we’re asking you to run,’ Terence explained. ‘It’s an aggressive tumour and we’re hoping to reduce it, but it’s not going to be easy …’
‘We’re up for it,’ Mike insisted.
‘We need you fully on board,’ Terence reiterated a little while later, because Mike just kept nodding at what ever was said. ‘Any bruising or bleeding, a raised temperature, even a cold and Tommy is to be seen urgently.’
‘Of course.’ Mike sounded annoyed and it was then that Jack cut in.
‘You need to listen to this carefully.’ Jack was firm. ‘Last week you were hiding Tommy’s injuries from the hospital.’
‘I didn’t know what was happening,’ Mike admitted. ‘I thought you were out to take him away from me.’
‘Well, we’re not,’ Jack said. ‘Tommy needs you now more than ever, but we are all going to have to start trusting each other and being honest each with each other, and I’m telling you straight up that I will not accept any outbursts with my staff like the one I witnessed last week, no matter how emotional things get.’
‘There won’t be any more outbursts,’ Mike said, and he looked at Nina. ‘I’ve apologised to Nina, and I apologise again.’
‘Mike’s going to do the men’s anger and emotion course that the pro bono centre runs,’ Nina said. ‘Aside from what happened in Emergency, I think it will be very helpful for Mike to have that resource in the months ahead.’
And on the meeting went. Terence had to get back to the ward but Mike had more questions.
‘But if the chemo works, surgery might get rid of it.’
‘It’s a possible option,’ Alex said carefully, ‘but the lesion is in an exceptionally difficult location.’
‘Have you done surgery like this before?’
‘I’ve done similar,’ Alex said, and Jack stepped in.
‘Each case is unique.’ He was as calm as always, Nina noted, and, she conceded, sometimes it was a good thing, because the emotion in the room was palpable. ‘Each case is continually assessed. We’ll know more once we see how Tommy responds to the chemotherapy.’
‘But—’
‘We’re going to do our best for your son,’ Jack said, ‘but it would be wrong of us to say that this is a straightforward case—it’s incredibly complicated. However, you do have the best team and the best resources available to your son. That much I can guarantee you.’
Mike nodded, stood when Alex did and shook his hand.
‘Right.’ Nina stood too once Alex had left. ‘I’ll take you up to the oncology ward and show you around.’
‘I can do that,’ Gina said. ‘I’m going there now and I want to go over some of the side effects of the medication with dad.’ She smiled at Mike. ‘It will be good for Tommy if you’re already familiar with the place when we bring him over.’
Which left Nina alone with Jack.
‘You’ve been avoiding me.’
‘I haven’t,’ Nina lied. ‘I’ve just been busy.’
‘Well, after work tonight …’
‘I’m working at the pro bono centre,’ Nina said quickly.
‘If you’d let me finish,’ Jack said, ‘I was going to ask if I could speak with you after work about the pro bono centre—I was hoping to find out some more about it.’
Liar, Nina thought, but she was in no position to refuse him. Someone with Jack’s skills would be an amazing coup for the pro bono centre, but she didn’t like being manipulated and certainly she wasn’t going to go through another dinner with him, or another kiss goodnight, because she knew full well what might happen. So she smiled sweetly back at him, played along with his game, but on her terms.
‘Come and watch tonight,’ Nina said. ‘I’m running a clinic—it might give you a feel for the place.’
‘Great!’ Jack grinned through gritted teeth, because he’d been hoping to discuss things over a nice bottle of champagne. ‘I’ll pick you up—’
‘I’ll meet you there,’ Nina broke in. ‘My clinic starts at seven.’
‘See you there then!’ Jack said. ‘What time does it finish?’
‘About nine, nine-thirty.’
His smile only left his face when she was out of the office. A night at some pro bono centre was something he so did not need, but it would be worth it, Jack decided.
He’d have her in bed by ten.
She hadn’t changed, Jack noted, because she had on the same purple stockings and a jumper that she’d been wearing earlier. He stood outside the pro bono c
entre and as she walked towards him he realised that her entire work wardrobe consisted of a black skirt, a grey skirt, a grey pinafore and then stockings and jumpers of various shades.
He wanted to take her shopping.
He wanted to spoil her, which was a first for Jack.
Oh, he was a generous date and lover. He had both a boutique florist and jeweller on speed dial and had tabs at the smartest bars and restaurant, but somehow with Nina he knew that wouldn’t impress her.
And he wanted to.
‘You’re probably going to be bored,’ Nina warned. ‘I really deal mainly with paperwork, helping people with social security forms and housing and benefits and things.’
Jack had done a lot of work for charity, but had never actually worked for one. He really had no idea what to expect, a sort of massive soup kitchen perhaps, but he was surprised at the modern offices and the air of organisation.
‘There’s a doctors’ clinic on tonight as well,’ Nina explained. ‘They’re held alternate nights.’
‘Well, while I’m here …’ Jack said, more than happy to pitch in, but Nina shook her head.
‘Sorry. You have to formally apply, your references and registration need to be verified, insurance …’ She looked at him. ‘It’s not a back-street organisation, it’s a non-profit organisation with some salaried staff and an awful lot of volunteers.’ She gave him a smile. ‘You can sit in with me if you like.’ She saw his eyebrows arch. ‘Though I’ll have to ask each client if they mind you being present.’
It was like being a medical student again and Jack felt a surge of irritation. Every minute of his day was accounted for, and now, when he could really help, he was forced to take a back seat instead.
Literally.
He sat in an office as client after client came in.
Nina would explain to each of them that Jack was a senior paediatrician and there to observe, and that he was, hopefully, considering joining the centre. Most smiled and thanked him.
For sitting there.
Some asked that he wait outside.
Nancy gave him a very suspicious look but agreed that he could stay. She was an exhausted-looking lady with a nasty scar over one eye and a nose that had been broken and not reset.
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