They were dismissive way past the point of rudeness.
His mother came off the phone but made no attempt to speak with either Jack or Nina, just checked a few details with her husband. They might just as well have not been there, though Jack did make an effort.
He introduced Nina to his father.
Jack Senior just gave a vague nod in her direction.
‘Nina does a lot of work at the pro bono centre in Harlem.’
Anna wrinkled up her nose, but Jack pushed on. ‘Did you know Louis Cavel donates some time there?’
‘I’ve heard.’ Jack Senior nodded. ‘I did consider it, of course it would look good, but really …’ He shook his head and looked at Nina. ‘I suppose you’re always looking for donations.’
‘We prefer people’s time,’ Nina responded, but the thought of spending time with this man, knowing it was simply a matter of looking good, and she was more than happy to bend the rules for him. ‘Of course donations are always welcome.’
‘Louis puts a lot of hours in,’ Jack persisted. ‘He does scar reductions, resets noses, you really should see the work he does with victims of domestic violence. There’s an amazing body of people there …’
‘There’s a far simpler solution,’ Anna said. ‘If these women just left their husbands in the first place, they could save us a whole lot of trouble.’ Anna laughed at her own joke and her husband laughed too, and Nina realised why Jack had apologised in advance for them—it was truly painful to be there.
The maid came and announced that the car was ready for them and as they stood Anna asked a question. ‘What’s the dinner in aid of tonight?’ she asked.
‘The burns unit at Angel’s,’ Jack said, and his mother gave a little shudder.
‘God, I hope they don’t do a presentation.’
They were disgusting.
There was no other word for them and Nina was so glad they were travelling in separate cars and had some time alone with Jack before they arrived at the dinner. Nina, who would never usually speak in front of the driver, actually didn’t care tonight. He presumably knew the real Carters behind the sparkling façade.
‘Are they always like that?’
Jack didn’t look at her. He was acutely embarrassed. Nina was the first person he had brought home and his parents had actually been quite civil.
‘Believe me, that was nothing.’
‘Is that why you don’t bring anyone home?’ Nina asked. ‘Because you’re embarrassed that it might get out …?’
‘I couldn’t care less,’ Jack said. ‘There’s a strange unspoken rule that what happens at home stays at home but, really, that’s not why I’ve kept people away. I’ve dated more than a few women who would have happily joined in that conversation.’
‘Were they always like that?’
‘Always.’ Jack nodded. ‘Sorry to ruin your night.’
‘Thanks a lot.’ Nina smiled back.
As they walked into the function she watched his parents turn on the charm and work the room in glittering style, and yet she knew how twenty minutes in their company had made her feel.
Imagine growing up with that?
The place was beautifully decorated, the table gleaming with silverware and gorgeous little chocolate mice, which, Nina found out when she took a bite, were filled with the most amazing mousse. Everything was beautiful or rather, Nina now realised, everything appeared to be.
They sat and ate and chatted and laughed and Nina played her part. They were at a table for twelve and Anna was beguiling them all, and she turned her beams on Nina.
‘Stunning dress …’
‘Thank you.’
‘I can’t quite place it.’
‘Neither could the sales assistant,’ Nina answered. ‘The label had been ripped out.’ And she made it clear she had bought it at the retro store. Jack watched his mother’s face flush beneath her make-up, her eyes shooting angrily to Jack, but he just leant back in his chair, his arm draped loosely over the back of Nina’s chair as she carried on with her dinner. ‘I offered to get her a dress, but the thing is with Nina, she’d never spend that sort of money on fashion …’
‘Very commendable …’ Anna gave a vinegar smile.
And while Nina didn’t need his mother’s approval, his mother felt the need to assure Nina that she’d never have it, or at least to score a few points, because she needled away at Nina when Jack got up to make a speech.
‘Yet, for all your altruism, you’re happy to sit in your second-hand dress and eat the finest food and drink the best champagne …’
‘Very happy to.’ Nina met her cool glare. ‘It was nice of Jack to invite me and I’m very touched that he did. I work with a lot of families on the burns unit, and this fundraiser will help a lot.’
And she turned from what was unimportant to someone who was, and listened as Jack made his speech. It wasn’t a particularly emotional speech. It wasn’t designed to pull at the heartstrings but it was to the point and funny at times, and from the reaction of the room just what had been needed to make it a successful evening.
Jack watched the conversation taking place at his table, saw his mother attempting to smile for the room as Nina crushed her with a few words. He had been so right to bring her. Jack knew then that all the doubts of the past few days faded as he had met the one woman who could stand up to his family, because Nina truly did not care what they thought of her. She was the one woman he had met who really was not turned on by money, which meant, Jack realised as they danced a little later, she was turned on only by him.
‘Sorry about that,’ he said, and she pulled back her face and looked up at him.
‘You have nothing to apologise for,’ she said. ‘I might, though. I think I was a bit rude …’
‘She has a very thick skin,’ Jack assured her. ‘Can you do me a favour?’
‘Of course.’
‘Can you feign a headache?’
‘No feigning required.’
They weren’t actually leaving that early. People were already starting to drift off. His mother was grimly wringing the last out of the champagne bottle and rather than anger Jack felt an immense sadness as he wished his parents goodnight.
They simply had no idea what was real, and he was only just finding out.
They didn’t take a car but walked instead, through the city they both loved but had experienced through very different eyes.
‘I’m going to volunteer at the centre,’ Jack said. ‘Well, I’m going to apply to.’
‘Can you afford the time?’
‘Not at the moment,’ he admitted, ‘but I can cut back on some other things.’ They sat in Central Park and looked at the couples going past on the last of the night carriage rides and then up to Angel’s and all that was going on unseen behind the windows. ‘I don’t think I’m right as Head of Paeds,’ Jack admitted. ‘The board is happy because I’m bringing in a lot of funds but, really, my role should be more hands on …’
‘You can make it that way.’
‘I’m going to,’ Jack said. ‘I’m going to pull back on the fundraising stuff and put in some hours at the pro bono centre, but I don’t think I’m practising medicine the way I want to. I know I’m good at what I do, but …’ he let out a breath ‘… I want to do more.’
‘You will, then,’ Nina said. She had, for so long, thought him cold and arrogant and, yes, in recent times she had seen a different side to him, but tonight she really was starting to understand why Jack was the way he was. ‘What was it like, growing up with them?’
‘Messed up,’ Jack said. ‘But at the time you think it’s normal. I was told off for crying, for any display of emotion really. I think I finally worked out how far from normal it was when I was eight and stayed with that family for a week. I saw how different things should be.’
‘Yet you didn’t go and stay with them at Christmas?’
‘Because it’s easier not to know how bad things really are sometimes,’ Jack explained
. ‘I understand how angry Janey was last week—how an amazing weekend away just made it harder to go back—that was how I felt after my holiday.’
‘So much for the perfect family,’ Nina said. ‘Maybe there is no such thing.’
They hailed a cab and as they approached her apartment Jack just sat there as Nina went to climb out.
‘Aren’t you coming in?’
‘Am I invited?’ Jack asked, and Nina took a breath.
‘For coffee.’
‘Then yes.’
Blake was asleep and Janey was watching a movie, but after a brief chat she went off yawning to bed.
‘Here.’ Nina handed him his coffee and she felt incredibly awkward, embarrassed to be alone with him, with the man who knew so much about her past.
But was somehow still there.
Jack looked around the shabby apartment that had been so fought for and cherished by three people, and he knew why—it was home.
‘Thanks for these past couple of weeks, Jack.’ Nina made herself say it. ‘I really do mean that.’
‘You’re welcome,’ Jack said, and took a mouthful of coffee before speaking. ‘Thank you too.’
‘For what?’ Nina grinned.
‘Oh, a few things spring to mind—changing my career path for one.’
‘Sorry about that.’
He drained his coffee. ‘I’m going to go.’
He really ought to do exactly that, the sensible part of him knew that as he stood, or rather the sensible part of the Jack he had been a couple of weeks ago, who had looked out at the ward and chastised himself for even considering a fling with Nina Wilson, knew that he should just get out now. Except he’d done more thinking these past weeks than he had in a long time, and more thinking that he’d ever thought he would about a woman in the days since she’d asked him to leave.
‘‘Night, Nina.’
He moved in to give her a kiss, just a friendly kiss that started on her cheek and then moved to her mouth, and she felt the graze of his lips, felt her own tremble to his mouth, but then he removed it.
‘‘Night.’ He smiled and his arms let her go.
Except she wanted some more of his mouth.
‘Jack …’ she called as he headed to the door. ‘You said things would never be awkward between us.’
‘They won’t be,’ he assured her.
‘You don’t have to go,’ Nina said. ‘I mean, if you want …’
‘Tell me what you want, Nina.’
Her cheeks burnt as she said it, as she told him exactly what she would like to happen. ‘I’d like you to stay.’
‘Or we could just have a kiss and see where that leads?’
And her cheeks burnt some more. She felt the wrap of his arms around her and then his lovely mouth and she kissed him in a way she never had. His tongue slid around hers and his mouth tasted divine, so she kept right on kissing until it wasn’t enough, till she wanted him to kiss her harder, but still he just kissed her slowly and when her hands left his hair and tried to work down his body, Jack halted them, held them down by her sides and just kept kissing her till she though she might die from the pleasure. She gave in then, till the pleasure was too much and not enough at the same time, and Nina pressed her body into him, except Jack pushed her hips back and then stopped.
‘What do you want, Nina?’
‘I want you to stay.’
‘In that case,’ Jack said, ‘I’d love to.’
And he entered the hallowed turf of her bedroom and kissed her again, just as blissfully as he had out in the hall, except she wanted more.
‘Jack …’ His hands were back holding hers down. ‘Please.’
‘What do you want, Nina?’
‘For you to undress me.’
‘I’d love to.’
And he was way too slow, just so painfully slow because she wanted to be on the bed with him, but instead he was slowly unzipping her dress and then taking off her underwear, very, very slowly, with no kisses in between. His touch was tender, just not enough, and when he knelt down and carefully took off her shoes, she could have wept at the slight graze of his hair on her thighs when she wanted his mouth.
‘Please, Jack …’ She went to the buttons of his shirt, but his hands stopped her. ‘Please.’
So he undressed himself while still kissing her and frantically she helped him, closing her eyes to the bliss of their naked skin pressed together and she simply could not stay standing and she knew what he was doing and just gave in to it now.
‘I want you to take me to bed.’
‘I’d love to.’
And Jack was old enough to dress himself, and she watched and held onto his shoulders as he protected them then kissed her, moving her onto the bed. She wanted to hold him, to touch him, yet still he restrained her. Then he began to move his hands over her body, until she was crying and dizzy, and then his hands were still and hers led him to where she wanted them to be, because tonight it was all about her.
‘What do you want, Nina?
‘You to …’ His hand went over her mouth and he spoke into her ear and reminded her she was a lady. He felt her mouth stretch on his palm into a smile and then he felt the heat of her skin as it flared into a dark blush.
‘What do you want?’ he checked.
‘For you to make love to me.’
And so he did, and Nina didn’t care about tomorrow as he moved inside her, as he took her completely, because whatever happened from this point he had given her tonight—a night when she didn’t hold back, when she moaned and writhed beneath him. And Jack didn’t hold back either. Maybe it would be awkward at work in the future because, when they came, he was telling her he loved her and she was telling him the same. Afterwards they lay there, Nina burning from the pleasure and just a bit embarrassed because, yes, she loved him, she just hadn’t really wanted him to know how much.
‘What do you want, Nina?’
She frowned and turned her head to him, had thought that delicious game was over.
‘Tell me,’ he insisted.
She looked at the playboy on her pillow and would love him for ever, but she knew there were limits, knew that the truth couldn’t fully come out here. ‘What I can’t have.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘I know that.’ She smiled, and watched as he turned onto his elbow and then gave her a little telling-off.
‘You need to start saying what you want,’ Jack said. ‘You need to be able to say what you want.’
‘I know that.’
‘So say it.’
‘I’d like to see more of you.’
‘How much more?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I think you do.’
‘And I think it’s impossible …’ She forced another smile. ‘I’ve effectively got two kids …’
‘Forget them.’
‘I can’t,’ Nina sobbed, because she couldn’t and never would, even if it meant that she and Jack couldn’t have a future together.
‘Forget about your brother and sister and my reaction, and just tell me what it is that you want.’ Jack was insistent.
And at the risk of him running from the bed and grabbing his suit, at the absolute risk of him running off and life being terribly awkward in the morning, she told him.
‘I want you to be a part of my family.’ She said it and Jack listened and he didn’t run. He’d done that in the past few days when he had carefully thought about all he might be about to take on, and as he looked down Jack knew he had come to the right decision and her honesty only proved it now.
‘I’d love to be.’
‘Don’t say that …’ She didn’t want a heat of-the-moment thing, she told him.
‘It isn’t,’ Jack assured her. ‘I’ve thought about it, I’ve done nothing but think about it, and, yes, it’s a bit overwhelming, but …’ He had never been so honest either. He told her about Monica the other night, how empty he had felt, how empty he had been till she’d come i
nto his life.
‘Your mother’s going to hate me!’ Nina grinned, starting to believe this might be true.
‘I know.’ Jack grinned. ‘I just can’t wait to tell her!’
And then he told her that he was going to go and buy a ring, but figured she’d want to choose … ‘I can’t really win,’ Jack moaned. ‘If I spend too much you’ll get upset, but I’m not donating for trees somewhere or buying goats instead, like I know you’ll suggest. I want to take you out and spoil you.’
‘How can I say no to that?’
‘You can’t.’
She couldn’t.
So, instead, Nina said yes.
EPILOGUE
JACK LOVED FRIDAYS.
He always had and he always would, but he was especially looking forward to this one.
Blake and Janey were off at summer camp and tonight he and Nina were flying to Hawaii for a delayed honeymoon. He walked up the garden path of their large Brooklyn home after a very full week working at the pro bono centre.
Nina had been right.
His rather more analytical mind had been exactly what the centre had needed and Jack was part of the team that allocated funds as well as running two night clinics a week, and he loved it.
Jack didn’t miss Angel’s. He was often there, consulting on a patient he’d had admitted or stopping by to take Nina for lunch.
‘How was work?’ Jack asked as Nina woke up from a doze, stretched on the sofa and yawned.
‘Exhausting,’ she admitted. ‘I think I got everything done before we go away, but the trouble with working part time is that you end up doing a full week’s work in half the time. Though it was a good day. I saw Tommy and Mike …’
‘And?’
‘Tommy’s finished his chemotherapy and the doctors are really pleased with the results.’
‘Is he having surgery?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Nina said. ‘I think there’s a big case meeting next week, but for now, at least, things are going better than expected.’
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