"Your mother," Satan said. "She may have loved her best friend, but she always loathed you."
Before Eden could open her mouth to plead, Satan shifted his hand, forcing her to throw her head back and gasp. She cried out in horror.
Chapter Fifteen
Rebecca sat inside their New York apartment with her legs stretched out in front of her, staring at the television screen. She was watching a fashion show on the TV, thin runway models striding forward in tiny, vibrant clothes. She let out a sigh and glanced at the door with tight lips.
There was the sound of a key hitting the door and then the lock turned. A twelve-year-old Eden stepped through. She was tall and gangly. A backpack was swung over her shoulder, concealed by a drape formed by her waist-length hair. As Rebecca stared at her, unexplainable anger filled her stomach and she had trouble fighting it down.
"Hi, Mom," Eden said, drawing to a stop.
She just stared at her daughter.
"Mom, are you okay?" Eden ran a hand through her long hair and frowned at her.
Rebecca knew Eden was beautiful, but her daughter didn't bother to highlight it. Eden hid behind baggy jackets and torn denim, and she never wore makeup unless she forced her. Even now she wore a baggy T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a tattered jacket despite all of the clothes Rebecca had bought for her. As Eden stared her, she tried to find the parts of herself in Eden she had given up her career for. She's just like her father, except not as smart, she thought.
"Mom?" Eden ran her fingers through her hair. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Rebecca felt as if her tongue had swelled and the ability to speak left her. The distant sound of high-pitched fashion music on the television reminded her of what she could have been had she not kept Eden. Maybe she could have re-entered the fashion world after Lizzy had died. Maybe she could have done so many things.
"I made you something in art class," Eden said. "Do you want to see it? It's a water color painting. The teacher said it was pretty good."
Rebecca felt white hot anger fill her stomach again when Eden bent down to open her book bag and she stood up abruptly.
"Not right now, Eden," Rebecca said. "I just… I just need a breath of fresh air."
"Mom?" Hurt filled Eden's eyes.
"I'll be back," Rebecca said.
"How long will you be gone?" Eden wrung her hands. "Dad is on a business trip, and I don't want to be alone."
"You're twelve years old," Rebecca snapped. "You should be begging for me to leave you alone. Go find something to do, will you?"
"Okay, Mom," Eden said, gazing at her with confused eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"
Rebecca wasn't sure what the answer to her question was. She shook her head, spun around, and then grabbed her purse from the counter. After swinging the bag over her shoulder, she opened the door to the apartment and walked outside. As she marched down the hallway, she hastened her steps, her breathing getting more and more ragged.
Rebecca held her breath until she was on the crowded, smoggy, streets of New York. When she saw the flash of a yellow taxi cab, she found herself raising her hand to it before she even thought about where she wanted to go.
The taxi driver saw her, pulled to the side of the road, and she got in and sat there, staring straight ahead. The driver, an aged, plump man with bad acne scars, turned around and studied her expectantly. She gazed back at him, a frown on her face.
"Where to?" he asked.
What a question. She didn't even know why she was in the cab. She just wanted to get away from the daughter who had ruined her life. She didn't care where she went, as long as she went somewhere. Anywhere.
"The airport," she finally said.
"Okay," the cab driver said.
As she stared out the window, she felt her heart pound in excitement. Without her daughter and Osier tying her down, she could be or do anything. There wouldn't be any worry about who would be home when Eden came back from school. She would be free. Yes, she was too old for modeling and her figure would never be what it used to, but she could be free. Free. What a beautiful word.
After ten minutes had gone by, her phone began to ring. She checked the phone number and saw it was the home phone, which meant Eden was the one calling her. Feeling guilty, she put her phone in her pocket and ignored the sound. The excitement of leaving outweighed the guilt. After two more ringing cycles, the phone stopped.
The cab driver reached the airport; Rebecca struggled out of the passenger side door and onto the sidewalk. With only her purse in hand and her heart pounding in her ears, she felt so excited she could hardly breathe. Finally, adventure. The adventure Osier and her daughter had stolen from her. Planes flew overhead, whistling. Now the planes were birds taking people wherever they wanted to be.
Rebecca stepped forward and sauntered up the stairs as her phone rang again. She checked it, assuming it was Eden. Instead it was Osier's number. She frowned, wondering whether she should answer it and at least let Osier know she was leaving. Probably. Eden was only twelve, after all, and judging by her bad grades and the fact that all the doctors said she was underweight, the girl would likely forget to feed herself.
Before she could talk herself out of it, Rebecca put her phone to her ear.
"Hello?"
"What do you think you're doing?" Osier snapped. "I am in the middle of an important meeting, and Eden called me in hysterics. She said she wasn't sure where you were going and she was worried about you. Get back to her right now."
"I'm not going back," Rebecca said. "Eden can handle herself. She's twelve now. I've given up enough of my life."
"She's your daughter," Osier said. "You're going to leave her? I hate the ground you walk on, but do you know why I want you to stick around? Because, for some reason unknown to me, she loves you. I don't even know how you could think of leaving her."
"So you would prefer to have me take her, would you?" Rebecca said.
Silence filled the phone.
"I thought not," Rebecca said. "Admit it. The only thing worse than me leaving is if I left with her. It would kill you."
"Yes, because unlike you, I actually care about her," Osier said angrily. Rebecca winced and held the phone away from her ear.
"Don't pretend to be such a saint," Rebecca said. "You go on more business trips than I can count in order to get away. I'm surprised she still knows your face."
"From you," Osier said. "Not from her."
"Well, now you won't have to anymore," Rebecca said. "I'm leaving. I'm in the airport right now. I am going to board a flight and go far away."
Rebecca beamed proudly at her shoes. Finally, she was doing what she always imagined she would. Osier grunted into the phone, making her happiness slip away and replacing it with nervousness.
"So you're leaving, are you?" Osier asked. "Who's going to pay for your airline ticket?"
"You wouldn't do anything to—"
"I don't care if you leave or stay, but if you leave, you aren't using my money to do it," Osier said. "You want to get away, fine, but use your own funds. I pay for your expensive hobbies so you'll stick around and keep Eden happy."
Rebecca gaped at the phone. "Well, I, uh…"
"’Well, I, uh’," Osier mimicked cruelly. "When you get to wherever you're going, you would have to get a job anyway, wouldn't you? Your rich mommy and daddy aren't going to bail you out now."
"Osier," Rebecca gasped.
"You and I both know I'm right," Osier said. "So you want to go away and live your life? Fine. But you're going to have to grow up to do it."
Rebecca was silent as her heart pounded in her ears. Yes, maybe she could fly away to wherever she wanted to go, but it was Osier's money and she was certain he would have her credit cards cancelled by the time she landed. It was only fair, too. It was his money. How could she have forgotten this? She was so close. So close to escaping. Now there was no hope.
"I won't tell Eden about this," Osier said. "I am going to call her ba
ck in one hour. If she tells me you aren't home, then I'll assume it's time to cancel the cards and come check on her. If you are home, I won't mention your little flight plan again. But do not ever, ever let me catch you attempting to run out on her while someone isn't home to look after her again, do you understand me? If you want to leave, leave, but don't put Eden in danger in the meantime."
Then there was dial tone and silence on the other end of the phone. Rebecca stared straight ahead, sighed, and then turned back around toward home, feeling sick with anger.
Anguish filled her heart. Eden shouldn't have been in Rebecca's memory. It caused her too much pain. The way her heart ached now was powerful enough to kill her all over again. Though she tried to reason that Satan was tricking her, she was certain it was real. She knew because she herself remembered that day her mom had disappeared from her. Only later when she hid in her bedroom with her knees drawn up to her chin had she learned her mom had gone to the airport, however.
Eden could scarcely breathe, could scarcely think. She felt weak and tired.
"Good," Satan said, dropping her to the ground where she rolled and stared at the sky.
To her right, a Blood Worm moved toward her and crawled over her hand. Normally, she would have brushed the worm away, but she stared upward immersed in such misery she could have been swallowed by it. Satan grinned at her.
"I think I'll leave you alone again," Satan said. "Last time I gave you an hour. This time, maybe I'll give you two."
Then he was gone from her, but he had already done the damage. As she lay on the floor of hell, burning with fiery, unquenchable pain, she could no longer fight the misery which enveloped her. And she was alone. So, so alone.
Chapter Sixteen
Time moved painfully slow while Eden was tortured in the pit. She shuddered and shook her head. What kind of person was she, who had been cast aside by her own mother? As she thought of her parents, hurt, pain, and anger filled her. This ending was so different than how she had imagined it. She thought she would open the gates of heaven and everything would be okay again.
But this was not the case. Why was she here? Why, why, why?
As she lay there, growing angrier and angrier, a memory came, different than the last. It was the memory of her guardian angel, Natalia, who had come to her in a dream while she still lived.
Eden sat chained to a stone chair in hell, surrounded by demons in human form. Natalia lingered before her, a gorgeous woman in white. The world was still, as if it was a photograph.
"Where am I?" Eden asked. "What is this horrible place?"
"That does not matter," Natalia said. "The question is, do you choose this?"
Choose this? This horrible inferno? She glanced to her right and saw the ghastly faces of the demons around her. Taunting her. Torturing her. She didn't doubt when she arrived in this place, she would be here for all eternity.
"This?" Eden asked.
"Yes, all of this," Natalia said. "The road will be a hard one. You’ll have to carry a burden no person should ever be asked to carry. You will not understand the meaning behind your journey for some time, and for this, I am sorry."
"What would you need me to do?" Eden asked.
Natalia extended her hand and brushed Eden's cheek. The smell of flowers overwhelmed her. She shut her eyes and inhaled, feeling as if she was being sucked into paradise. Marvelous.
"You would need to be a light in a world of darkness," Natalia said. "Be love in a world filled with hate. The task sounds simple, but this place… Too long has darkness resided here."
"Wouldn't it be easier if you told me where here was?" Eden asked.
"You do not need to know where here is to give me the answer," Natalia said. "All you have to do is close your eyes and search your heart. I think a big part of you already knows where you are, whether you admit it to yourself or not."
Shutting her eyes, Eden focused on what she felt. There was pain, yes. A great deal of it, in fact. But deep down she felt something she had not in a long time. Serenity. Peace. She knew who she was. This was new, and it was worth suffering for.
"Yes, I will do it," Eden said, opening her eyes.
Eden slowly sat up and realized something. Before she had been cast into this pit of endless heat and fire, she had chosen to be here. God had given her the chance to say no, to turn him down. God had known this would happen to her, so did this mean he had not forgotten her here? Did it mean he would come for her?
She stood and stared up into darkness. The dream had ended there. Maybe, for her, this hell would end too. She was filled with different feelings than before. Hope, peace, and serenity. I wasn't forced to endure the dream just to choose whether I would be willing to take on the task. God had made me dream of hell so I would remember it right now. Right when I was supposed to. A chill ran down her spine; the heat no longer felt so hot and time no longer felt so slow.
And she remembered what all of her friends had done for. Adanna had followed her into Satan's claws without flinching and had protected her sister to the end. Aaron had shadowed her to Asag's prison. Yuri had taken care of his mom to the end and had more than paid for the accident with the pills. Edward had given up everything for his family once, and now, he had followed and helped her when he could have been captured by Satan and tortured. And her mom… After all this time, her mom had come to find her again. Maybe things would never be perfect between them, but she had to forgive her mom — and she had to forgive herself too.
The anger her mom had felt toward her was so pointless. Bitter. Eden had never felt that way toward her mom, even after all of the times she had been hurt by her. Anger like that hurt the person who felt it. Eden once again began to pity her mother. Her mom had spent so many years living with that much darkness in her heart. Eden was no stranger to the fact that sometimes your biggest enemy was yourself. And it wasn't like Rebecca hadn't loved her. There were times when she showed just how much she did. She remembered one time in particular.
Six-year-old Eden sat at a barbeque thrown by one of her mom's friends. The smell of cooking burgers and grilling hot-dogs filled the summer air. The grass was a lush green and robins twittered madly in the air. The sun was roasting hot, so most of the adults and Eden sat in the shade. Her mom sat next to her, but her dad wasn't there because he once again had to go to another business meeting. The thought of her dad missing out again made her sad.
As her mom bit into a hot-dog dripping with mustard, a woman with auburn hair glanced over at her. Eden picked at her fingernails and nervously hid behind her veil of long hair. A paper plate with a hot-dog and chips sat in front of her, untouched. The woman leaned over her.
"Hello, Rebecca," the woman said.
"Hello, Marcy." Rebecca nodded at her, wiping her hands on a napkin.
Marcy glanced at Eden, then pinched her cheek so hard it burned. She squeaked, blushed, and placed her hand over her cheek.
"How is little Eden today?" Marcy asked. "I see you haven't eaten anything. Didn't your mom ever tell you it's a sin to waste food?"
The woman looked like a witch with her long nose, beady, probing eyes, and long, jagged fingernails. Shooting a frightened glance at her mom, Eden dove beneath the table and sat in the shade. She had read books and knew all about witches. She didn't want to have anything to do with them.
Marcy clucked her tongue as Eden drew her thin legs up to her chin. "You might want to have that girl checked, if I were you, Rebecca."
"Checked?" Rebecca's voice grew a dangerous, angry edge. "Checked for what?"
"Well, you know what I meant." Marcy shuffled her feet. Eden could see her brown pointed shoes from beneath the table.
Rebecca stood up. "No, I'm afraid I don't know, Marcy. Please tell me what you're insinuating about my daughter."
"Don't take it personally, Rebecca, dear." Marcy's voice sounded pinched. "She just doesn't talk much. Strikes me as a little slow, that one."
Her mom let out a shocking growl which Eden had
never heard her make before. It reminded her of the lion in one of her videos. "Slow? My daughter is bright and highly creative, I shall have you know. So what if she doesn't run her mouth. Unlike you, she has the intelligence to keep her mouth shut unless she really has a reason to talk. My daughter is worth ten of you."
Eden stuck her head out from under the table. Her eyes widened as her mom loomed over Marcy, who had her hand pressed against her quivering, ample, bosom.
"Well, I beg your pardon." Marcy gasped as if Rebecca's outburst had come from nowhere.
"No." Rebecca poked Marcy in the chest. "I beg your pardon, thank you very much."
"Well, I never." Throwing up her arms, Marcy turned and began walking away, heading toward a group of women jabbering underneath a pine tree.
Her mom sat next to her, arms crossed, as she gave a huff of annoyance. Eden sat on the bench again and stared at her. My mom just defeated the witch. She's a hero.
"Eden, never make friends with people like that. You're worth more." Her mom patted her on the forehead and returned to eating her hot dog.
It was times like those she remembered her mom did love her. And yes, her mom did have faults and she wasn't perfect. Eden had her faults too, but she wasn't responsible for the bitterness her mom felt toward her. She had to forgive herself. Shutting her eyes, Eden threw back her head. She realized the answer to her question then — why was she chosen for this task?
Because she had to learn to love herself and be grateful for the strengths she had been given.
****
Eden knew what to expect now, which made being in hell easier. She sat with her knees to her chin enduring the terrible inferno when Satan re-appeared, glowering at her. When he gazed at her, she saw the smirk on his face melt away, replaced with fierce anger.
"How?" he said, all five heads forming a chorus of rage again. "I left you alone in your despair, and I come back with you more than healed."
Silently, she stared at him.
"Fine," Satan said. "I am not the only one who has been waiting to enjoy torturing you. You will break, and I will be there to watch."
Where All Souls Meet Page 13
