Stanton’s words left Lily speechless. It was a lot to take in. She didn’t know what to say.
“It’s okay,” Stanton went on. “You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to know that when you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.”
Lily looked away. His words were nice. The thought of getting to know him better was an appealing one. Hadn’t she spent half the day mulling over the same idea in her head? But was she ready yet?
“The wind is supposed to pick up this afternoon,” she said, her eyes cast away from him, toward the darkening skies. “If you’re going to get home, you better leave now.”
“I wouldn’t mind being stranded in Heron for the night,” he said frankly, his voice low, barely more than a whisper. He cocked his head, willing her to look at him. “It would give us a chance to get to know each other better, give me a chance to convince you I’m not such a bad guy.”
That brought a small smile to Lily’s face.
“You’re not a bad guy,” she relented. “I’ve been trying to find something wrong with you. Anything.” She shook her head. “But it’s impossible not to like you.”
Stanton nodded with understanding. She needed more time. She still wasn’t ready. Her admission was a small one, but it was enough for now. Besides, it wouldn’t take long for her to come around.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” he said.
He squeezed her hand gently and then turned and climbed into the cockpit. A few minutes later, his plane was in the air, disappearing beyond a mountain peak.
Lily lingered on the dock, still surprised at Stanton’s words. Sure, she’d suspected he was interested in her, but she’d never expected such a bold declaration from him. In all the years she’d known Mason, he’d never been so straightforward about his feelings. Maybe if he had, things would be different between them.
Silently, Lily cursed herself for letting her thoughts drift back to Mason. Why did everything always circle back to him? She’d just had a man, a very attractive man, one whose company she enjoyed, announce his intentions toward her and the only thing she could think of was Mason.
The realization that Mason held such control over her heart was more than a little unnerving. It had to stop, Lily decided. And it had to stop now. She wouldn’t let her feelings for Mason affect her life, not anymore. Starting now, Lily was going to sever all ties with the man.
Lily zipped her jacket and headed toward the air-taxi office, determined to get it over with before she changed her mind. Mason wasn’t there, but the door was unlocked, so she let herself in. It only took a minute for her to find a pad of paper and an ink pen. She quickly scribbled a few words and left the note on Mason’s desk. It was as easy as that.
* * *
Mason went to the kitchen sink and scrubbed his hands. As he washed, bits of blue paint mixed with the water, spiraling down the drain. The paint was being stubborn. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn’t get all of it off. Giving up, he turned off the faucet and dried his hands.
Then he went over to the computer and checked the weather report. It didn’t look good, so he got on the radio and verified it. Even though it was relatively calm in Heron, the winds over Icy Strait were too fierce for a mail run to Juneau. He’d waited too long. A morning run would have been feasible, but he’d been busy painting the bedrooms, trying to keep his mind off Lily. Now he wouldn’t be going anywhere, at least not in the air. With the winds expected to increase over the next few hours, Mason decided he better head down to the dock and make sure the planes were both secure.
As was his habit when the planes weren’t in use, he’d pulled them both up onto the dock so they were out of the water. He checked the straps that kept the planes tied down, found a couple of them loosened, and tightened them up. Next year, he thought, he was going to build a hangar to shelter the planes and keep them away from the harsh elements. For now, though, there wasn’t much else he could do than make sure they were tightly fastened down.
When he was finished with the planes, Mason turned toward the office. The desk was neat and tidy, as it always was, except for a small piece of paper sitting smack dab in the middle. Mason picked it up and read it.
I don’t need the flying lessons anymore.
- Lily
He crumpled the paper in his hand and plopped down onto the chair. Annoyed, he threw the crumpled note into the trash can.
What did she mean, she didn’t need the lessons anymore? She was the one who was so insistent that she learn to fly, not him. He hadn’t even been sure he should teach her, but she’d convinced him. And now she was just casting him and the flying lessons aside, with no explanation.
And after he’d gone and finished the set for the fall production to surprise her. He’d spent half the night putting it all together, hoping the gesture would help ease the tension between them. But did she care? Did she even appreciate everything he’d done? No. She had the nerve to push him even further away.
Angry now, Mason stormed out of the office and strode toward the school. He found the building closed up, locked. The drama workshop was over and Mason had forgotten all about it. No doubt, that weasel Stanton had been glad to see Lily there, alone. The thought of him, sidling up next to Lily, hungrily looking her over like a piece of meat, turned Mason’s stomach sour. He should have been there, no matter how much time Lily needed to cool off, to keep that slime ball away from her.
Mason turned and headed back toward the waterfront, toward the pub, hoping to find her there. Lily was seated in a corner booth when Mason strode in and the place, he noticed, was unusually empty. That’s good, he thought. The last thing he wanted was an audience.
Like a soldier, stiff backed and rigid, he marched over to her table. Without waiting for an invitation, he slid into the booth across from her and folded his hands in front of him on the table. It was the only way to keep them from shaking.
“I got your note.” The words gritted out through his clenched jaw.
She glanced up at him briefly, as if she were just noticing him. Then she looked back down at the menu. It was nothing more than a way to detach herself from the situation. It’s not like she needed to look over the menu. She knew everything on it by heart.
“Good,” she said, keeping the tone of her voice calm and cool even though her heart was racing.
“Good?” he asked incredulously. “That’s it? You’re not going to give me a reason?”
“I’m sorry.” She looked up at him with a blank expression, like he were a stranger or a passing acquaintance. “Do I owe you an explanation?”
“Yes, you do!” The words came out forcefully, full of anger and frustration.
“Fine. I’ve found another instructor,” she said casually, trying her best to remain calm and aloof. “Over in Hoonah. I’ll start working toward my pilot’s license as soon as the fall production is over.”
“Another instructor. So there’s something wrong with the one you’ve got.”
Lily sat the menu down on the table in front of her and looked him in the eye.
“What do you want?” she demanded. She was asking him what he wanted from her. A relationship? A good time? She needed to know. She’d been hurt by him before. Twice now, actually. She wasn’t going to let it happen again.
“I want a real answer. I want to know why you’re doing this. Why you’ve suddenly decided to find a different instructor. I want to know why you’re avoiding me.”
Lily couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t pretend to be in a casual relationship, as if her heart weren’t on the line. And she certainly couldn’t pretend that Mason’s words hadn’t hurt her. If he really thought needlessly breaking her heart all those years ago had been a good decision, that the thought of marrying her was a mistake, then what were they doing together? She wanted a future with him. But he’d as much as admitted them being together would have been a disaster. Where did that leave them now?
“I think it might be better if you and I didn’t spend so m
uch time together,” she blurted out.
Mason’s expression changed. He hadn’t expected that. He should have seen it coming, but it still caught him off guard.
“What do you mean?” he asked, knowing he didn’t want to hear the answer, steeling himself against the inevitable.
“Mason, you know what I mean. I don’t have time for this… whatever it is we had going. I have the fall production and work. I’ve hardly seen my dad in the past week. I need my life back.”
“And what about me?”
“What about you, Mason?” She shook her head. “You’re not a part of my life. You haven’t been for a very long time. You can’t just come back after all these years and pretend like nothing happened.”
So that’s what it all came down to, he realized. She still hated him for breaking her heart. Even after all these years, she couldn’t forgive him. She wasn’t willing to move past it.
“I was just a kid. You can't judge me for something I did when I was a teenager.”
“I can do anything I want,” Lily spat out, getting tired of this conversation. “Just do me a favor and stay away.”
His eyes turned distant, drained of emotion.
“Fine.” The word was like metal. Sharp and cold.
Mason stood up and turned toward the door.
“I mean it,” Lily repeated. “I don’t want to see you. Not ever.”
It was her turn to push him away, her turn to say words she didn’t mean. If that was what it took for Lily to move on with her life, then she was going to do it.
Unfortunately, it worked. Mason gave in a little too easily. He walked away too quickly. She should have known he wouldn’t fight for her. He never had been willing to stand up and fight for their love. She remembered her father’s words: Mason always did what he was told. Her dad was right about that. She told him to leave and he did. He didn’t even try to win her back, to persuade her to listen. He just gave up. Like always.
After he left, Lily shoved the menu back into the rack. The table was still clean, unused, but she grabbed a bar towel and wiped down the table anyway. Since the place was practically empty – only a part-time cook was there, prepping the grill for the dinner rush – Lily decided to send the girl home and close up.
When she was finally alone, Lily disappeared into the office behind the bar and wiped away a tear. Another one quickly replaced it, and then another. What was she doing? She hadn’t let a man have such sway over her emotions in years, not since the first time Mason walked out of her life.
“Hey, Lily. The sign outside said closed, but…”
It was Nora, standing in the doorway of the office. Lily quickly dried her tears with her hands, but when she turned to face Nora, her puffy red eyes betrayed her. It was obvious she’d been crying.
“Oh, Lily. Are you okay?” Nora didn’t wait for an answer. She rushed over and pulled Lily into her arms. The tears started all over again.
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” She really didn’t know. Her emotions were so jumbled at the moment. She was so angry at Mason, and yet slightly pleased with herself that she’d been able to be the one to push him away this time. But any pleasure she derived from that fact was completely overshadowed by the ache she felt in her heart. She had lost him all over again. And this time, it hurt far worse than it had before.
Nora comforted Lily while she cried, patiently waited until all of the tears dried up.
“Sorry about that,” Lily finally said, pulling away. She reached for a tissue and wiped her nose with it, trying to recompose herself.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I was just being stupid. I seem to have that problem lately.”
“Does this have anything to do with Mason? I saw him stomping down the boardwalk on my way here. He didn’t look very happy.”
“Good.” Lily smiled weakly at that, glad to know she’d at least had some effect on him.
Nora smiled, trying to be encouraging.
“If it makes you feel better, he didn’t look any better off than you.”
Lily laughed half-heartedly.
“I look that bad, huh?” She pulled a small mirror out of the desk drawer and held it up to inspect her reflection. As soon as she did, she tossed it back into the drawer. “Ugh, I’m a mess.”
“You can tell me all about it over a burger and fries, if you’re up for it.”
Lily closed her eyes and sighed.
“I sent Mandy home and closed the place.” She sniffled and wiped another stray tear off her cheek. “Figured I’d do some mid-month accounting.”
“You’re working? I thought you had the month off so you could focus on the fall production.”
“The play will come together fine. Everyone’s learning their lines. The set is actually complete. They could probably do it without me. Besides, I need to clear my mind.”
“Well, don’t worry. I’ll fire up the grill and make us a couple burgers,” Nora said. “You stay here, pull yourself together, and then we’ll have a nice little chat to get your mind off Mason. Maybe I’ll tell you about some of the stuff your brother pulled on me before we got married. Sometimes, I can’t figure out how we ended up together.”
Nora smiled pensively, remembering the first time Jake kissed her and the way he made her feel like she was the only woman in the world. Automatically, her hand went to her belly. It was still flat, but inside their child was growing.
“But then again, you never can tell how things are going to turn out.”
Chapter 16
She told him to stay away, and that’s what he was doing… even though every ounce of his being wanted to march back there and set her straight.
One week had passed since he saw her last. The longest week of his life. And Mason was still infuriated each time he thought about their last conversation, which was about every five minutes or so. She’d said she needed her life back. Well, so did he. Lily was his life, the part of him that had been missing for so long. For the past decade, he’d limped through each and every day like a broken man. He went through the motions of living, but there was always something missing. It was her.
But she didn’t want him. Not anymore. She couldn’t forgive him for a wrong he’d committed so long ago. She refused to let him back into her life.
And so, Mason did the only thing he could think of. He immersed himself in his new business.
He’d timed his return to Heron perfectly. Tourist season was mostly over, aside from a few travelers who wanted to experience the Alaskan bush in the autumn. At this time of year, business would be slow. With the exception of the mail runs, he would have plenty of time to focus on all the improvements he wanted to make, like giving both planes a complete overhaul and getting the new website designed.
Unfortunately, he was having a hard time getting Lily off his mind. Every time he climbed into the cockpit, he thought of her sitting in the seat beside him, laughing at the thrill of learning to fly. Afterwards, she crept into his thoughts as he wiped down the planes. And then the memory of kissing her there, on the dock, rushed back to him. As he searched online for a website designer, he saw a jewelry ad. The picture reminded him of the ring he’d once made for her. Even as he tried to pick out a paint color for the office, he wondered what color she would prefer. Everything seemed to lead his thoughts back to Lily.
Frustrated, Mason shut off the computer and locked up the office. He wasn’t getting any work done, so he might as well go to The General Store. He had a long list of supplies he needed to pick up.
“I’m going to have to order most of this stuff,” said Nate, the store’s owner, as he read through Mason’s list.
“Well, is there anything you do have?”
“Oh, sure. There’s a good assortment of screws and nails in the hardware section. Some lumber, too. Finally fixing up the boardwalk in front of your dock?”
“That’s the plan,” Mason said.
“Well, it’s about time. I’ve been after Gus to take
care of that section for months. It’s a hazard, if you ask me.” He sat the list down on the counter and pulled out a catalog. “You want me to order the rest?”
Mason shook his head. “No. I’ll pick up everything else on my mail run. If they don’t have it in Hoonah, they’ll have it in Juneau.”
Grudgingly, Nate put the catalog away, none too pleased that he wouldn’t be making a sale. Most of the people in town had no choice but to pay his exorbitant prices, since his was the only store. Pilots, on the other hand, were free to shop around. Maybe that’s why he’d never gotten along with Gus very well. Nate suspected he wasn’t going to like Mason much, either.
“I guarantee my catalog has a bigger selection than anything you’ll find in-stock in Juneau,” Nate added, trying to talk Mason into buying through him. “But it’s your choice.”
“Thanks, anyway,” Mason said politely, walking away. He wandered through the store, grabbed a bag of potato chips from one of the grocery shelves, and ended up at the post office counter tucked into the rear of the building.
“Got anything for me today?” he asked Barbara. The older woman was sitting behind the counter reading a book. There was nothing else for her to do, no mail to sort and no customers to serve.
Tucking her long black hair behind her ears, Barbara sat the book aside, stood up, and reached under the counter.
“Not much,” she said, plopping a small bag of mail onto the countertop. “Three days’ worth of mail and it doesn’t even fill the bag halfway. Hardly makes the trip worth it.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Mason said, winking at Barbara playfully. “Gives me an excuse to get up in the air, get out of town for a while.” Then he leaned in and added more quietly so Nate wouldn’t hear him, “And this way I can do some shopping in Juneau. Want me to pick anything up for you?”
“I was hoping you’d ask,” Barbara whispered back conspiratorially. “I already have a list going. Not much, just some fresh tomatoes, butter, eggs. You know, the things that Nate has marked up three hundred percent.”
She checked to make sure Nate wasn’t watching and then slid a piece of paper across the counter.
Sky High (Alaskan Frontier Romance Book 2) Page 16
