“Then is that a no? We can’t leave yet?”
“Give us one more week,” he finally relented, and knew it was more than a professional request. He didn’t want to see her go. He didn’t want to be here without seeing her smiling face, basking in the warmth of spirit that wafted from her.
“One week,” she agreed. “Now you better go get washed up while I get the food on the table.”
He left the kitchen with a sense of something lost, something that might have been precious if he’d allowed it. But he couldn’t allow it. It would be foolhardy for him to pretend that he could be the man for her, that he was capable of giving her what she wanted, what she desperately needed in her life.
He didn’t want her to go, and yet he needed to get her away from him. As he washed up and headed back down the stairs, he was determined to continue maintaining the almost painful distance he’d created between them.
Dinner was a silent affair. The three agents had run out of things to say to each other and so they ate without conversation. Gabriel was about halfway through the meal when he realized Marlena was humming in the kitchen. It was an old standard song about love, and her pitch was perfect.
The sound wrapped a chord of desire around Gabriel’s heart and stole away the last of his appetite. He could imagine himself next to her in bed after they’d made love, her soft humming lulling him to sleep. The pleasure of the vision pulled a visceral response from him, one that he’d never felt before.
With a murmured excuse, he left the table and went upstairs to his room, needing to be alone, the way he had always been.
He sat on the bed, cursing the fact that he’d left the file on Daniella and Macy’s kidnapping on the kitchen table. He could have holed up here for the rest of the night if he had the file.
Instead he stretched out on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts so scattered he couldn’t focus on any one thing.
Somehow during the past two weeks, he’d realized at his very core he was a lonely man, afraid to reach out to others, having grown comfortable in his isolation. It didn’t feel as comfortable as it used to.
Marlena had banged against the armor of his heart over and over again, denting it to unrecognizable properties. He couldn’t let her pierce through the steel that had been forged so many years before.
He didn’t know how long he’d been on the bed when a soft knock fell on his door and Jackson peeked his head in. “You okay?”
Gabriel sat up on the bed. “Sure, I’m fine. Why?”
“You scooted out of the dining room pretty fast.” Jackson eased down in the chair next to the bed. “She’s gotten to you, hasn’t she?”
Gabriel didn’t even try to pretend to play stupid. “Maybe a little,” he admitted. “But it’s not going anywhere.”
“Why not? It’s obvious she’s into you and you’re into her. Why not take a chance, Gabriel? Aren’t you tired of being alone at the end of each day?”
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “I could say the same thing about you. You’re a good-looking guy. Why aren’t you married?”
“Thanks for noticing that I am rather hot,” Jackson replied with an easy, facetious grin. The grin lingered only a moment and then fell away. “The problem with you is that you don’t love. The problem with me is that I love all women. I haven’t found the single woman I want to share my bed with every night and wake up with every morning yet. But I know eventually I will. I think you’ve already found yours, but you refuse to acknowledge it even to yourself.”
“Jackson, I appreciate your concern for my personal life, but I figure within a couple of weeks, we’ll be out of here. Marlena had her own life planned and I’ll go back to mine. It’s best that way. She deserves more than I could ever give her.”
“You sell yourself too short, Gabriel,” Jackson said as he rose from the chair.
“I’m fine with my life, but I do appreciate your concern.” Gabriel got up from the bed.
Jackson cast him his legendary lazy smile. “Hey, that’s what partners are for. Are you coming back downstairs?”
“Actually, I think I’ll take a little walk before it gets dark. Maybe some fresh air will help clear my head.” He followed Jackson down the stairs and as he sat down on the sofa, Gabriel walked out the front door.
The air certainly wasn’t fresh but rather the usual hot and humid blanket that had been unrelenting for the past two weeks. At least out here he couldn’t hear the sound of her melodic humming as she cleaned up the kitchen, and he couldn’t smell the scent of her that made an aching need throb inside his veins.
He didn’t want to take a chance with her. He didn’t want to be another man who let her down, another man who broke her heart. He cared about her enough not to be that man.
He waved to Cory and John, who appeared to be storing their shears, hoes and landscaping equipment in the shed. Sam and Daniella must have been special people, because everyone who worked for them continued to keep the place in pristine order.
Gabriel didn’t believe they were coming back. In his heart, in the depth of his soul, he’d already realized they had to be dead.
What happened to the bed-and-breakfast after he and his team left wasn’t his problem. Eventually it would be in the hands of lawyers and probate courts to decide what to do with the business and with the property.
Marlena and Cory would also be long gone by then, living a new life in a new city. He was certain that she would meet the man she’d dreamed about, a man who would not only be her best friend but also her lover, her husband. He wanted that for her, and yet he couldn’t halt the pain that pierced his heart.
He paused at the end of the walkway and stared into the murky, dark pond water, the sun at an angle where he couldn’t see his own reflection.
He wasn’t sure how long he stood there lost in thoughts when he gazed again at the water, this time not only seeing his own reflection but that of Marlena standing just behind him. He jumped in surprise and turned to face her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said. She held out a tall glass of lemonade. “I just thought you might find this refreshing.”
He frowned even as he took the drink from her. “You’ve got to stop doing things like this.” He started up the walkway toward the porch, aware of her following close behind him.
“Doing things like what?” she asked, looking genuinely puzzled.
He didn’t reply until he sat in one of the chairs on the porch and set the drink on the table beside him. She sat next to him.
“Doing things like what?” she repeated.
“Nice things. Thoughtful things. And I wish you wouldn’t hum when you worked in the kitchen.”
She stared at him as if he’d lost his mind, and perhaps he had. “My humming bothers you?”
“Yeah, it does. It sounds nice, but it’s irritating.” He knew he was being a jerk, and yet he couldn’t help it.
“Does my sitting out here next to you bother you?” she asked, her eyes narrowed slightly as if in thought.
He looked out at the pond again, unable to watch her features when he replied. “Yeah, actually, it does.”
“Then I’ll just head back inside.” She jumped out of the chair and disappeared into the house before he could form the words to stop her.
He turned and stared at the glass of lemonade she’d brought him. Damn her for making him want her, and damn him for wanting her. He didn’t just want to taste her lips again, feel her naked body moving against his own. He wanted her thoughts, her dreams. He wanted to be her best friend and her lover. More than anything, he wanted to be strong enough to reach out for love, but the truth was that when it came to matters of the heart, he was nothing but a coward.
* * *
MARLENA STOMPED BACK inside and sank down at the kitchen table, her
feelings stinging from his words. Her humming bothered him? Tomorrow night when she fixed dinner, she’d sing at the top of her lungs, and the next time she made him a glass of lemonade, she’d pour it over his handsome head.
She finally decided to take her hurt feelings and go to her own rooms. She would watch a little television and then get a long night of rest. Although her bruises were starting to fade, she still felt as if she’d been run over by a truck. She’d stopped taking the pain pills during the day, but took a couple at night to help her sleep.
Maybe tonight the pills would not only ease the ache of her muscles but also banish the pain in her heart. Loving Gabriel wasn’t hard. Realizing he didn’t have the capacity to love her back was devastating.
She settled onto the sofa in her private sitting room and tuned the television to one of the few sitcoms she thought was funny. But tonight no laughter escaped her lips. In fact, she found herself drifting off in thought rather than watching television.
One week.
She only had to see his handsome face, to smell his familiar scent and to be around him for one more week, and then she and Cory would be free to leave here.
The sadness that she would pack in her suitcase would make a heavy load if it had true weight. She would carry with her the ache of absence for the loss of Sam and Daniella and Macy. And she would take with her a heart filled with love for a man incapable of loving her back.
Her love for Gabriel had been formed by a hundred different elements. While their lust for each other had certainly been undeniable, over the past two weeks she’d also fallen in love with his dry sense of humor and the soft vulnerability he certainly didn’t realize occasionally shone from his eyes.
It was impossible to dissect why she loved Gabriel. She just did. It was as simple and as complicated as that. She was about to go to bed when she heard a soft knock at her door.
“Come in,” she said.
Gabriel stepped into her room. “Mind if I have a seat if I plan on offering up an apology?”
She wanted to be angry with him, but he truly looked contrite, and she just couldn’t summon any emotion except the love that threatened to bubble out of her.
“Sounds like a fair trade,” she replied and made room for him on the sofa.
He sank down as if he weighed a thousand pounds. “I’m sorry. I acted like a jerk earlier.”
“Yes, you did,” she agreed easily. “You’re lucky I’m not a woman who holds a grudge. And tomorrow morning when I make your breakfast, I promise you I’m not going to hum. I’m going to sing at the top of my lungs just because it will aggravate you.”
“Your humming doesn’t aggravate me. This case has aggravated me, and you were a handy scapegoat.” He raked a hand through his thick hair and leaned back. “As if Sam’s family’s disappearance isn’t enough, we still haven’t figured out why anyone would want to hurt you.”
“Maybe because they heard me humming?” she said in an effort to bring a smile to his face.
It worked. His sensual lips curved upward and he released a small laugh. “You aren’t going to let me off the hook, are you?”
“You’re off the hook. I just wanted to see your smile.” Her love for him pressed hard against her chest and teased on the tip of her tongue with the need to be released, with the intense desire to be spoken aloud. “I care about you, Gabriel.”
His smile fell away, and instead a deep frown cut across his forehead.
“It upsets you that I care about you.”
“That’s your problem, not mine,” he scoffed.
“I know, but you can’t do anything about how I feel about you. You can’t stop me from caring about you, from wanting to comfort you when you’re sad, from sharing your laughter when you’re happy. You can’t stop me from falling in love with you, Gabriel, and I am in love with you.”
His shoulders stiffened defensively. “Those pain pills you’ve been taking have definitely addled your mind.” It was obvious he was uncomfortable with the conversation. He twisted on the sofa as if to gain more distance from her, as if afraid she might decide to reach out and touch him in some way.
“It’s okay, Gabriel. You don’t have to do anything about it. You don’t even have to care. I just want you to know that you are loved, that you’re worth something and that somebody cares about you and wants you to find happiness.”
For the first time since she’d met him, he appeared speechless and more than a little bit stunned. “Why are you telling me this?” he finally asked.
“I don’t know. I just felt like I needed you to know. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reminded in the past weeks how fragile life is and I wanted you to know how I felt about you if something happens and I don’t get a chance to tell you. Consider it a gift from me to you.”
“Nothing is going to happen to you,” he said firmly.
“I hope not, but there are no guarantees, and you have to admit you don’t have a clue who might have tried to hurt me.”
“After talking to Thomas, we went by Pamela Winter’s place to speak with her.” It was an obvious attempt for him to guide the conversation away from personal things and back to the reason he was here at the bed-and-breakfast. “Her alibi for the time that you were pushed down the stairs is that she was at home alone. She received no phone calls, nobody saw her, so there’s no way for us to know if she’s telling the truth or not.”
“I don’t understand. What would Pamela hope to gain by killing me now? Daniella is gone, and in one week, Cory and I are heading out of here.”
Gabriel shrugged. “We figured maybe Pamela doesn’t believe you’re really going to leave.”
“I don’t know. Considering that Daniella is missing, it just doesn’t make sense to me that Pamela would do something like this.”
“I can’t figure any of this out, but I know you’re wrong about me.” He stood. “My own mother decided I wasn’t worth loving, and nobody has made me feel any different about myself since then.”
Her heart ached as she heard the empty hollowness in his voice. “I could,” she said softly. “I do.”
“Hey, sis.” Cory’s voice came from nearby. He appeared in the doorway holding two glasses of chocolate milk. He stopped short as he saw Gabriel. “Oh, is this a bad time?”
“No, I was just leaving.” Gabriel shot out of the room as if he’d just been looking for a reason to make a hasty retreat.
As he left, he took her heart. She’d laid it all out on the line, had spoken the words of love that had burned inside her, and he’d refused to either accept or return that love to her.
What shocked her was that she’d believed she was prepared for exactly the response she’d gotten from him. She hadn’t been prepared for the sweeping heartache that filled her as she watched him leave.
Chapter Twelve
She loved him.
Gabriel had left her sitting area and had immediately gone upstairs to his own room, where he’d paced the small confines and tried to erase her words of love from his mind.
Somehow her actually saying it out loud had shocked him, but if he looked deep in his heart, he’d already known she was falling in love with him. He’d seen it in her eyes when she gazed at him, had felt it in the most simple of touches.
He’d warned her in a dozen ways not to love him, that he was incapable of returning that emotion, but it obviously hadn’t made any difference to her.
One week, he told himself. In a week she’d be gone. She and Cory would leave here the way they had arrived: in her beat-up old car, with a suitcase full of clothes. The only difference was she’d leave with enough money to start a new life.
She would not leave with him, and he refused to return her gift of love back to her. It was her problem, not his, and she would just have to fall out of love with him.
Once he felt as if he had his wayward emotions under control, he went back downstairs to retrieve the information about Daniella and Macy’s kidnapping. He knew it was a long shot that he’d find anything in that paperwork to help with the current situation, but he had to do something, and at least it might take his mind off Marlena.
It was just after nine when he took off his gun and holster and sat at the dining room table with the folder in front of him. Marlena’s door was closed, indicating that Cory had left and she was probably in bed.
Andrew had gone upstairs a few minutes earlier, and Jackson was planted on the sofa in the common room watching the end of an old movie.
Other than the distant sound of the television drifting through the air, the house was silent. For several long moments he sat with his eyes closed, playing and replaying every second he’d spent with Marlena.
For the first time in his life he’d felt softness, he’d experienced kindness and, yes, he’d felt the nudge of love attempting to take possession of his heart.
With an irritated sigh, he opened his eyes and stared at the thick folder on the table in front of him. First things first, he thought, deciding to make a small pot of coffee before delving into the elements of a case that had occurred over two years before.
The coffee was dripping into the carafe when Jackson stepped into the kitchen. “I’m heading off to bed, unless you want me to help you go through that material.”
“Nah. I’ll be fine by myself.” Gabriel stepped closer to the coffeepot that had finished making the four cups that should see him through the rest of the night. “I’ll catch you in the morning.”
Jackson nodded. “Good night, Gabriel.”
Gabriel poured his coffee and returned to the dining room table. This time the silence of the house was complete around him. He took a sip of coffee and opened the file.
Within minutes he had disappeared into the crime that had occurred so long ago, a crime that had brought two people to love but not before danger had struck.
Scene of the Crime: Return to Bachelor Moon Page 14
