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Guess who wanted to hang out?
Just Annika and Cami. But they were always grounded or on vacation visiting divorced parents.
So every single day I went home, did my homework, watched The Doctors, then went down to my room (or my “hole”
as my parents call it) and either played the Sims, read a book, or hugged my dogs.
Now it’s Spring Break of my freshman year and the only time I’ve ever left the house was with my mom to go see Watchmen, swing by Costco, and then hit Michael’s and Brown Jug on the way home. I went into Michael’s for scrapbook embellishments; mommy went into Brown Jug for soda and wine.
And at night, we have great family time: burgers, soda, wine, and Desperate Housewives on TV. Sometimes we watch movies. Last time it was Wedding Daze.
But during the past six days, I’ve just sat at home wishing Zac or SOMEBODY would text me and want to go to the movies or the mall or skinny dipping or rob a casino or something other than reading, playing video games, working out, and shoving chocolate muffins down my throat.
But no such luck. Sarah has “plans.”
Cami’s still grounded.
Annika’s visiting her dad in North Dakota.
Kristina’s in Georgia.
Zac’s at work, but he’s not going to text me anyway. I had a dream last night that I couldn’t help myself and asked where our relationship was going. He said “No! NO! Not with you.” I woke up paranoid that I’d actually texted him, but was relieved when I realized it was just a dream.
It must be a sign.
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Samantha Steele
I was hurt over Zac, but not too bad. It had been a month since I’d spoken to him. I overheard Mitchell saying that Zac was at SAVE now, so obviously he must have had some problems.
SAVE is basically a school for dumb kids and whores.
Kids who are failing all of their classes get sent their by counselors, and girls who get pregnant usually go there, too. I’d never heard about it until Mitchell mentioned it, and then I asked Taylor. She knew all about SAVE (don’t ask me why; I was afraid to ask her.) At first I was really upset that I didn’t know Zac was having problems, but I feel much better now.
And I sort of moved on…
I think it will be a while before I like someone as much as I liked Zac. I mean, I’d never felt that way about anything, much less a guy, and it ended up hurting me worse than ever before.
I’m not sure why I took it so hard; I mean, it’s not like he embarrassed me really badly or something. I guess I just feel like something is wrong with me, and that’s why he never spoke to me again.
For a long time all I could think about was doing something to try and make him jealous. I even contemplated starting a relationship with Mitch. But then I figured I probably wasn’t Mitch’s type, and I’m sure he’s a good enough friend to keep away from me. Unless Zac doesn’t care… ?
But all that aside, there’s this other boy in my Geometry class. I think I might like him, but I’m not sure. On the up side, he’s a freshman, too. His name is Cameron McAllister.
Annika, Cami, and Krisse (Kristina) are the only friends I told about him. Cami and Annika said I only like him in retaliation for Zac. Krisse was in his Pre-Algebra class in sixth grade, which means he failed either Pre-Algebra or Algebra.
Well, he at least took one of them twice. But that doesn’t really matter.
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Cami thinks I only like him to get back at Zac because Cameron looks freakishly like Mitchell, Zac’s best friend. You see, Mitch wears plaid flannel shirts with band tees underneath them, has curly brown hair always under a hat, and wears baggy jeans and skate shoes. He has glasses, too, but he only wears them sometimes. They’re actually pretty cute.
Guess what Cameron looks like?
All that plus a set of braces and minus the glasses.
I don’t know what draws me to him. Mitch is much cuter.
Mitch has a car. Zac is by far the sexiest of them all.
But they’re all juniors, and I think I better stay away from upperclassmen… for the time being. They seem to hurt my heart a lot.
So there’s a good reason for me to like Cameron. He’s a freshman. And he’s a smart freshman; Zac was stupid. It’s not that I care how smart my boyfriend is, but it’s easier when he’s not complaining about failing all his classes.
Cameron’s really funny. Taylor’s friend Lacey and him talk a lot in class, but I know she doesn’t like him, and I don’t get the feeling that he likes her, either. That’s good. I guess I better start being better friends with Lacey now. I talk to Lacey and Taylor a lot more. But, as nice as Lacey is, I get the feeling that she feels like I’m intruding sometimes. I know if I asked Lacey herself that she’d say nothing was wrong, but that’s just because she’s so nice. I like that about her. She’s funny and fun to be around, even if I don’t always get what she’s talking about. She doesn’t usually know, either.
Another good thing about Cameron is that he thinks Dani and Kylie are too skinny. Dani and Kylie are cousins, and the same size: double zero. They’re nice as hell, and they don’t look like skeletons or anything, but their legs are about the width of my ankle. It’s good to know Cameron likes a girl he can actually hold, that won’t slip through his fingers and break when she hits the ground.
That subject came up once when Lacey said she was fat.
Lacey’s a size two. She said she’d be happy if she looked like
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Dani and Kylie, then Logan said they were too skinny, so they asked Cameron for his opinion. He hesitated, then said,
“Kylie’s getting there. She’s almost too skinny. And Dani is… rather small.”
That means he thinks they’re too skinny! I do not have to be a size double zero to attract his attention!
The whole conversation made me realize that I really hate people like Zac. They always make me second-guess myself.
After negative events with those people, I always feel like something’s wrong with me; like maybe I come on too strong or too obsessive. I really don’t want to be like that. I want to be light and fun and goofy, but I get embarrassed so easily that I’m usually silent and shy, which makes me look weird, which embarrasses me…
The whole thing’s a vicious cycle I can’t find my way out of.
I need to change, but I have such an image already built up that I don’t know how to alter it. I need to get over my shyness, but I don’t know how. It’s a curse. Anybody know any counter spells?
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Mitchell Mantel
I am so sick of listening to Zac whine about that freshman.
“She quit texting me.”
“It’s because I’m stupid.”
“She wouldn’t want a boyfriend who’s at SAVE.”
“I bet I couldn’t even hold a conversation with her.”
I keep telling him to just talk to her, to get it over with.
He won’t listen to me. It’s like he’s some kind of… Clark Kent.
He feels like this secret “stupid” identity of his will scare her off.
What he doesn’t get is that she doesn’t care. I mean, she hasn’t ever spoken to me, much less told me that she doesn’t care, but I can tell by the way she stares longingly at his empty seat that she doesn’t, or wouldn’t for that matter.
But Zac likes his little broken world. He says he hates it, but he refuses to get out of it. I was really hoping that Sam would be able to come through for the rest of us and break his emotional armor, get inside his head, figure things out. No such luck, thanks to Zachary Bell.
And Evan? Well, he’s having a field day with it. He’s trying his hardest now to get Zac into some random chick’s pants.
I don’t know why he does this. It’s like he thinks he’s Zac’s teacher or sire or somethi
ng; like he just turned him into a jackass and is teaching him the ways of the pimp.
The worst part is that Zac isn’t really trying to deny Evan, but he’s not going along with it, either. He’s just sort of going through the motions, randomly complaining about losing Sam.
It’s profoundly irritating.
Then again, I can see why he’s so torn up about it. I’d be crying too if I’d lost her. I can tell she’s really upset; before the
“break up” or whatever you want to call it, she dressed up a lot, you know, real girly, and curled her hair and did all that stuff that
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drove Zac nuts. But now she doesn’t do anything impressive. She dresses plain. She doesn’t curl her hair or do up her eyes.
She never wears that green striped shirt anymore; at least not to school. Zac loved that shirt on her.
I try to ignore the urge to look at her. I hate to admit it, but Zac has excellent taste. Sam is… well…
She’s beautiful. I’m actually a little jealous that she was crazy for Zac instead of me. I’ve thought about talking to her a few times, but decided against it. I was sitting in Zac’s old seat for a while, so I could talk to Austin easier, but I decided to move over so she couldn’t look at me, and so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at her, either.
As hot as she is, I still couldn’t bring myself to do that to Zac. I’ve never seen him fall this hard for a girl. I just wish he hadn’t blown his chance with her.
Dumbass.
“Hey Mitch, I’m goin’ on break in a few. You want to go to Carrs and get something to eat?” Zac asked me.
“Sure. I’ve still got half an hour.”
Fantastic. He’s just going to complain about Sam.
“So… How is she?” Zac asked me on our way over to Carrs. It’s in the same building as O’Brady’s, where we’re both waiters.
“Why don’t you ask her instead of pumping me for information? It’s not like she’s my best friend or something.”
“She won’t talk to me.”
“Have you tried?”
“Well, no, but I know she hates me.”
“God damn it, Zac! She doesn’t hate you. As a matter of fact, I think she’s really freaking upset over you.”
“Thanks for making me feel better,” Zac said with a smile. I think he really thought that was meant to improve his mood.
“Listen, dude, this is kind of important,” I said, reaching for a bottle of Coke.
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“What is it?” Zac asked, uninterested.
“Seriously. Don’t freak out over it, okay?”
“Yeah whatever I won’t. What is it?” he said curiously, shaking a soda bottle at me.
“Zac, it’s been a good while; about a month. You can’t expect her to wait around until you grow a set of balls, okay?”
“Mitchell, just get on with it!” he said, panic brimming in his tone.
“Seriously, Zac, it isn’t a big deal but I know you’re going to freak out about it. Just relax and chill out.”
“Mitchell! Just tell me!” Zac shouted. Then he looked embarrassed for a moment, but no one was watching so he turned back to glare at me.
“She has a boyfriend.”
I may as well have dropped a bomb on his head for the reaction I got.
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Zachary Bell
“She what?” I choked, gripping the neck of the bottle in my hand.
“I saw them walking together. He had his arm around her waist. Then I saw them later, holding hands. She hugged him right before class,” Mitchell said cautiously, glancing nervously at the glass bottle I was holding.
“That doesn’t mean they’re together,” I said.
“Zac, I hate to be the bearer of bad news-”
I broke the neck of the bottle. Mitch flinched and jumped back. I squeezed my knuckles tighter until the glass cut into my hand and pain shot up my arm. I shoved my way past Mitch and towards the bathroom, trying to hide my blood-gushing hand. I heard Mitchell chasing after me.
“Zac, what the hell is wrong with you? You broke a bottle over her? You never even took her on a date!”
“You don’t understand!” I said angrily. “I don’t even understand,” I added more calmly.
“Well reiterate it to me and maybe I’ll make some sense of it,” Mitch said, seizing my hand and pulling tiny bits of glass out of it. I hadn’t been doing a very good job in my surge of anger.
“I love her.”
“You don’t even know her last name!”
“I don’t need to.”
“Zac, you’re being ridiculous! If you’re so in love with her, just call her! Text her, just do something! You have to communicate. If it makes you feel any better, she always looks a little uncomfortable with him.”
“That does make me feel better,” I said with a smile, relaxing. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and remembered all the times she told me I was hot. I smiled again, but then
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winced when Mitch pulled a particularly jagged piece of glass out of my hand. “Ouch!”
“Well thank God that hurt. I was afraid you’d taken PCP
or something,” Mitch said, rinsing my cuts under warm water. I bit my lip to fight the sting. “You stay here and keep this paper towel pressed down hard on it, and hold it above your heart while I go buy some bandages,” he said, turning off the water and handing me a giant wad of paper towels.
I did as Mitchell said, but soon my blood had soaked through the paper towels and I had to make a new wad. I wondered what the janitor would think if he saw all the bloody paper towels in the trashcan. He probably wouldn’t think anything of it if it were the girl’s bathroom. I laughed at that thought.
And then I realized, as the pain really started to set in, what an idiot I was being. I’d actually broken a bottle over her, all because she had moved on. I was suddenly disgusted by the sick pleasure I’d felt when Mitchell said she looked uncomfortable with this new guy. Would she have been uncomfortable around me? She was always very shy.
And then I wanted to know what he looked like. I wanted to know who he was and all about his personality. What made him a better match for her? Or did she just choose the next Joe Schmoe she saw?
Visions of Sam clouded my mind again and again. Her eyes, her hair, her smile, that green striped shirt of hers; I wanted to see it all at least one more time. I didn’t want to be stupid anymore. I wanted to leave SAVE and go back to South. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to apologize and tell her I made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving her.
I wanted to tell her I love her.
But then I realized how ridiculous that was. I barely knew her! How could I possibly be in love with her? It’s ridiculous!
I’M ridiculous. This whole damn situation is ridiculous.
Mitchell came back about fifteen minutes later with a grocery bag of bandages, disinfectant, and painkillers. He quickly
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poured a stinging liquid all over my hand, and I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. He then coated my still bleeding hand with ointment and wrapped it in gauze and medical tape. Then he handed me four pills and ordered me to take them.
“Those should help with the pain and keep your hand from swelling up. Now I have to get back to work, I’m a little late already,” Mitch said, putting the rest of the supplies into the bag and handing it to me.
“Thanks, Mitchell. This is going to sound a little gay, but I don’t think I could survive my crazy life without you,” I said with a laugh. Mitch smiled.
“Yeah I think you would have bled to death a long time ago, buddy,” he said, punching me lightly in the shoulder. “Now take this stuff and go home. Keep your hand above your heart all night until it stops bleeding, okay? Ice it if it starts to swell, but it should heal okay. They’re only flesh wounds.
”
Mitch went back to work and I got into my car. I looked at my bandaged hand and really felt like a true idiot. What a dumb thing to do over a stupid girl.
Actually, she’s not stupid.
She’s way smarter than I am.
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Mitchell Mantel
I stared into Samantha’s eyes. She wasn’t wearing her contacts, so they were a dull green instead of her usual, brilliant blue. She smiled at me, her teeth perfect without her braces. She bit her lower lip and stared playfully at my mouth. Then she glanced up at me through thickly coated eyelashes, sending a shockwave through my spine.
I couldn’t help myself. Despite my own personal promise not to hurt Zac, I tilted my head down and let our lips barely brush against each other. But the moment we connected, I felt something swelling in my chest; an urge to seize her arms, shove her against the wall, throw her on the floor, and tear all of her clothes off with my teeth.
But she beat me to the punch line. Sam gripped my biceps tightly in her small, feminine hands and pushed me with all her force against the wall. I was shocked and pleased at the same time. Her tongue brushed gently across the edge of my bottom lip, which was ironic, because she was roughly shoving me onto my bed at the same time. I was lost in the moment of passion.
She sat on top of me, hastily kissing my lips, jaw, and neck. My hands were confused at first, but eventually they found her hips and then the hem of her shirt, which I lifted up and over her head. She slid her cold hands under my flannel shirt, pulling me up to slip it off of my arms.
I rolled over on top of her and quickly ripped my shirt off. Resuming kissing her, I unbuttoned her skirt and she wiggled out of it. Sitting back for a fraction of a second, I marveled at her body. It wasn’t anything overly toned or perfectly chiseled and thin, but it was real, and she enjoyed it. She used her body to live; she didn’t live to use it.
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She grinned again, biting her lower lip and twisting her legs around me. I unbuttoned my jeans slowly, savoring this moment of her radiant beauty.
“Wake up,” she whispered, sitting up and running her long nails gently across my jaw. “Wake up, Mitchell,” she whispered again, her voice enticing and seductive. Her lips found mine again, and between breaths she would whisper, “If you don’t hurry up you’re going to be late.”
Night Prowler Part One Page 5
