Brittany lowered her eyes, her face shuttered. “Doesn’t matter. That’s done.”
Why wouldn’t she talk about him? Unfortunately it seemed Brittany wasn’t ready yet. Naomi’s heart ached for the young girl. She needed someone beside her, helping and supporting her.
Like Jess had.
Naomi pushed that thought aside. Jess made the choice to stay away himself. It wasn’t up to her. Sheila was the one who should be here helping Brittany.
Brittany heaved a sigh and glanced outside. “Why can’t I go outside? I want to see the house again. Jess showed me around when I first got here. I wish I could see what he’s done since then.” This was followed by another dramatic sigh.
Naomi felt an inkling of sympathy for her. Brittany had been grumpy and out of sorts all morning and Naomi knew it was because she was feeling cooped up. “You know what Dr. Brouwer said. No walking at all until things settle down.”
“I am so tired of lying in this room.” This was followed by a faint sniff, and as Naomi put the last of the girl’s clothes away, she caught a glimmer of a tear in Brittany’s eyes.
“How about a game of Scrabble?” Naomi had been teaching her how to play the board game, thinking it might help her with her vocabulary.
“I suck at Scrabble.”
“Do you want me to read to you some more?”
This was followed by a vehement shake of her head. “Just give me my phone. I want to text my friends again. Maybe this time they’ll answer back. I’d watch YouTube videos if Jess could be bothered to upgrade his internet.”
Naomi unplugged the phone and handed it to her, and Brittany leaned back against the headboard, swiped the screen and frowned. “No one’s answered any of my texts.”
She flicked her thumbs over the screen, sending out another raft of messages.
“I’ll make some lunch for you,” Naomi said, picking up the magazines scattered over the girl’s bed and setting them in a pile on the end table by the bed so they’d be within easy reach.
“I’m not hungry,” Brittany muttered, looking at the screen as if willing even one of her friends to answer her. She brightened when her phone immediately tweeted back, signaling a message. But her smile faded away. “Jess won’t even come to visit. Why not? What did I do wrong?”
Guilt twisted Naomi’s heart at the anguish in the girl’s voice. She knew exactly why Jess wasn’t coming and it had more to do with her than with Brittany. She didn’t realize how much Brittany had connected with Jess in such a short time. She would have to talk to Jess about coming to see her. Naomi didn’t want to be the cause of Brittany’s feelings of isolation.
“What about a grilled cheese sandwich?” she asked. It was almost lunchtime.
“I’m not hungry.” Brittany tossed her phone aside and pulled her pillow over her head as if trying to block out anything more Naomi might have to say. “Just go away. I hate my life and I hate this baby. I wish it would go away.”
“Don’t wish that, honey,” Naomi said, her heart contracting in anguish. “Don’t ever wish that.” She stroked Brittany’s arm, trying to convey her sympathy, but Brittany jerked away from her, lost in her own self-pity.
Later on, Naomi brought the grilled cheese sandwich, but Brittany took only a couple of bites.
That night Brittany ignored her supper and Naomi was forced to make her drink some more sugar-laced fruit juice, which she said made her sick to her stomach.
Her blood sugars ranged all over the map, her blood pressure was also affected and Naomi suspected much of it was directly related to the mini-depression the girl had fallen into.
When Brittany was in bed, Naomi tried to call Sheila but was sent to voicemail. So she left a carefully worded message about how Brittany could use her support and help right now.
She put the phone down and as she washed up the dinner dishes, she looked out across the yard to the house. Jess stood on the deck, looking out over the valley, eating from a bowl. Cold cereal, she suspected. She should know. She lived on the same thing for the last few months Billy was alive when his parents were trying to get her to eat something. Anything.
She thought of Brittany, who hadn’t eaten anything either and Naomi knew why. The girl felt alone and uncared for at a time when she needed family around her the most. Sheila was out of the question, which left Jess, who was staying away because of her.
“Get over yourself,” she said, tossing aside the tea towel. “You need to grow up and get through this. Brittany needs Jess right now. You don’t care about Jess anymore, so what’s the problem?”
As soon as she made her decision to go talk to him, a bright yellow car drove up the driveway, then parked in front of Jess’s new house. A young woman got out, her long blond hair catching the glow of the early evening sun. She waved, then picked her way across the dirt and up the wooden steps to the deck Jess stood on.
Naomi couldn’t hear them, but could see the woman’s easy smile, the way her hand rested on Jess’s arm. Of course, she thought, almost laughing at her surprise at the sight. She had heard any number of times from her sisters how Jess had moved on. He was an attractive single man with a good income. Women would be interested in him.
And not you?
She’d had her time with Jess and she had allowed him to take over her life and her emotions. She wasn’t letting that happen again.
But at the same time, she knew she wasn’t talking to Jess about Brittany right now.
“So you’ve got a double sink here and a smaller one in the island.” Connor LaCroix made a quick sketch on his notepad, then tucked his pencil behind his ear and pulled out a tape measure. Connor was a tall man, with broad shoulders that seemed to fill up the kitchen. “Do you figure on a conventional-sized stove or do you have something else in mind? I can move the cabinets if I have to.”
“I had my eye on one of those stoves with the large burner down the middle. Gas, preferably. The alcove for the stove will have a water pipe to it and it will be bricked in.” Gail had recommended the feature and when he saw pictures of it he liked it immediately.
Connor nodded as he pulled out his tape measure. “Sounds like some lucky lady is getting an awesome kitchen.” He gave Jess a quick wink. “Heard that Gail’s been stopping by quite often.”
“She’s an interior decorator. I’ve been getting some advice from her,” Jess abruptly said.
“Is that what it’s called?” Connor said, his voice holding a hint of sarcasm.
“So when you stain the wood tomorrow, I was thinking a dark walnut for the doors and a lighter maple for the cabinet frames,” Jess replied, holding Connor’s gaze with his own.
Connor just grinned, not fazed by his avoidance. “Gail told me that’s what you thought.” He pulled out the tape and handed one end to Jess as he glanced over Jess’s shoulder.
Connor’s smile grew and his posture shifted.
Now what? Frowning, Jess looked behind him to see what or who Connor was grinning at.
Naomi stood in the doorway of the kitchen area, her hands clasped in front of her, her hair pulled back in her usual ponytail. Her gaze flicked from Jess to Connor, then back again as she shifted her weight.
You were the only one.
Jess shook off that insidious thought. Irrelevant, he reminded himself.
Then he wondered what she was doing here, when she seemed so relieved after he told her it would be best if he kept his distance.
“Hey there, Naomi,” Connor said, tossing off a wave of his gloved hand. “I heard you were back in town. What brings you to this loser’s house?” He shot Jess a knowing look, as if wondering exactly how many women made it a habit of coming by here.
“Good to see you, too, Connor,” Naomi said. Then she glanced toward Jess. “I...I need to talk to Jess for a minute.”
“Of course you do,” Connor said, letting his tape measure return to its case with a loud snick. “I’ll go upstairs to the master bedroom and double-check the measurements for the vanity f
or the en-suite bathroom. Don’t want to have to cut into my cabinets.” He gave Naomi a grin then thankfully left, his booted feet echoing on the stairs beside the kitchen.
“So what can I do for you?” Jess asked, resting his hands on his hips.
“It’s Brittany,” Naomi said, her gaze flicking everywhere but at him. “She’s feeling so cooped up and she’s not been eating. I’m worried about her. I think...I think she feels abandoned.”
“Did you talk to my mother?” He had to ask, although he was fairly sure his mother wasn’t going to be much help in this situation.
“I tried calling but didn’t get an answer and when I called her cell phone I only got her voicemail.”
Probably not picking up when she saw his home number, Jess thought, frustration shooting through him. Sure she was grieving, but so was Brittany. At the least they could share stories of the man they both lost.
“Do you want me to go down and talk to my mom face to face?” He would have preferred not to as Calgary was two hour’s drive one way. He could do it if he had to.
“Actually, Brittany had mentioned you used to take her through the house before she was put on bed rest. So I was wondering if you would be willing to bring her up here. She said she wanted to see what you had done on the house and I think a change of scenery would do her a lot of good.”
“She can’t walk up here herself?”
Naomi shook her head. “Absolutely not. She would need to be carried.”
“I guess I can do that.” If the poor kid wanted to get out of the house, he could arrange that. “When do you want me to do this?”
“I was hoping for lunchtime. She hasn’t been eating a lot and I thought I could use this little outing as a bribe.”
“That could work. Connor will be gone and my other workers aren’t showing until two o’clock.” He’d have some time to spend with her.
“Thanks so much. Brittany will be happy to hear that.”
Her words were so stilted, as if the conversation of the other day stood between them like a live thing.
And it did. Try as he might he couldn’t forget what she had said and, even more important, why she felt the need to tell him.
Naomi turned, but before she left, she glanced around the interior of the house, a faint smile lifting her lips. “This will be a beautiful place, Jess.”
He shouldn’t care but her compliment warmed his heart. “I hope so.”
Then he caught a frown puckering her forehead and he turned to see what seemed to bother her.
A stained-glass bird spun slowly in the window of the living room sending out shafts of blue, pink and yellow light. A sun catcher Naomi had made for him all those years ago. Connor had found it in Jess’s room two days ago and had hung it up here as a joke. Jess hadn’t bothered to take it down.
“You still have that,” she said, a note of wonder in her voice.
“It was too pretty to throw away,” he said, as if he had considered doing exactly that.
Naomi simply nodded as a melancholy smile drifted across her face. Was she remembering the afternoon she gave it to him and what had happened afterward?
“Do you do any stained-glass work anymore?” he asked, trying to dismiss memories that rose up every time he was with Naomi again.
She shook her head, a sorrowful look on her face. “I took an art course when I went to college, but Billy persuaded me to switch to something more practical.”
“Like nursing.” He couldn’t help the faint note of disdain in his voice. Sounded like something Billy would do.
“Nurse’s aide, actually. But that training got me this job which is paying my bills right now.” She lifted her chin and held his gaze, as if defending what Billy had suggested.
“That’s true, but who knows where you could have been if you kept on going with your stained-glass work.” Jess didn’t need to argue her out of the choices she had made, but it bothered him to think that she had thrown away a talent she had been given. “You were good at what you did, Naomi. You did some amazing work. You should have continued. If you had, you might be able to do more than just pay bills.”
Wonder flashed in her eyes. Then she blinked and it was gone. “Doesn’t matter,” she said slicing the air with her hand as if cutting off that thought. “That time for me has passed. I need to do what I need to do.”
“You sound like Billy,” he couldn’t help saying.
A look of hurt passed over her face and Jess regretted his outburst. Billy had been her fiancé and a good man. He had no right to put him down.
“I heard that happens when you spend a lot of time with someone,” she said in a choked voice.
He was being a boor, he realized. Naomi was still grieving the loss of a man who had been a larger part of her life than Jess had ever been.
“I’m sorry, Naomi. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Billy was a good man. A better man than...than most.”
A better man than me, he was about to say, but held that thought back.
Naomi’s curt nod acknowledged his apology, then she left, her ponytail bobbing as she made her way down the rutted road toward the house.
Jess pushed out an angry sigh. Why did he always manage to say the wrong thing at the wrong time?
Story of his life with Naomi.
Chapter 6
“I think this is the perfect spot,” Brittany said, a huge smile lighting up her face as Jess set her into the large wooden chair he had set on the deck. “I can see the main street of Rockyview from here.”
“So you can,” Naomi said, glancing down at the valley. Rockyview lay below them, tiny and complete.
Sunshine, warm and friendly, poured down from the sky. Summer was winding down and the mornings already held the faint chill that was the harbinger of fall. But this time of day, with the bright sun illuminating the green hills, it was hard to believe in a few months these same hills would be dazzling white with snow.
Naomi set the tray of sandwiches down on the end table beside Brittany, thankful to see a smile on the young girl’s face. “So I’ll pour you some milk and then leave you and Jess alone,” she said as she reached for her glass.
Brittany grabbed her hand. “No, stay here. I don’t want you to go.”
The sliding door behind them grumbled open as Jess stepped out carrying a couple of chairs. He plunked one down on one side of Brittany and brushed it off as best as he could. “Have a seat, Naomi. Sorry about the mess. That plaster dust settles everywhere.”
So much for going back. It would look rude now.
“So what do we have here?” Jess asked, inspecting the sandwiches as he set his own chair on the other side of Brittany.
“Ham and cheese,” Brittany was saying, pointing out the different sandwiches. “Egg salad for me and one with turkey, cheese and cranberry sauce.”
“Wow, sounds a lot better than the peanut butter and jam one I was going to have.” Jess flashed Naomi a quick smile, but she could see tension edging his mouth. He was putting on a good show for his stepsister.
Well, if he could she could, she thought, settling down into the chair.
She picked up the jug of milk she had taken as well and poured some for Brittany, then handed her a napkin.
Brittany took a sandwich and was about to take a bite when Jess pulled off his hat and rested his elbows on his knees.
“I...uh, thought we could pray before lunch,” he said, almost apologetically.
Naomi, who was reaching for a sandwich herself, could only stare, then she felt a quietening in her soul. Even though his parents went to church from time to time, Jess had never wanted to attend with her. He had always spouted the usual mishmash of how the church was full of hypocrites and he didn’t want any part of that.
She had never dared challenge him on that. She was so young herself, still finding her own way through faith. But it had bothered her and had introduced a tension she could never reconcile.
A tension she never felt with Billy.
&nbs
p; But here was Jess, his hat dangling between his hands, his eyes holding hers, asking if he could pray a blessing over sandwiches.
“He always does this,” Brittany whispered, as if apologizing for her stepbrother’s quirks.
“This is a good thing to do,” Naomi said with a gentle smile. Then she bowed her head, as well.
Jess said a quick blessing on the food, thanking the Lord for the beautiful day and for the many blessings they had. He prayed for Brittany and her baby. Then he paused a moment, as if adding his own silent prayer.
Naomi felt a surprising peace wash over her as Jess prayed, and in the silence following his prayer, she added one of her own.
Help me, Lord, to know what I’m supposed to do here. Help me to know who I am and what I want.
Then she lifted her head, looking across the space at Jess, who, she was surprised to see, was looking at her.
“Thanks for that,” she said quietly. Then she poured Brittany a glass of milk and took a sandwich for herself.
A comfortable silence rose between them as they ate and Naomi was surprised to feel a release of the tension that had been an unwelcome visitor and their constant companion.
An answer to her prayer?
Behind them Naomi could hear the buzz of a saw. Connor was working on the cabinets in the kitchen and had refused the offer of lunch. Said he wanted to get done as much as possible, so he was still working.
“It’s so awesome to be outside,” Brittany said, wiping her mouth with the napkin Naomi had provided. She sat back in her chair and shifted as if to make room for the baby. She grimaced a moment, but then as she sat back, a smile shining on her face. “I love this.”
“Are you feeling okay?” Naomi asked anyway, needing to make sure.
“I feel great right now.” Brittany gave Jess a shy smile, but he was leaning back in his chair, his booted feet crossed at the ankles as he ate his sandwich.
“Do you want more?” Naomi asked, thankful that Brittany was finally eating.
Brittany nodded and Naomi got up to get it for her.
“Hey, what’s that?” Brittany asked pointing to Naomi’s neck.
Finding Home Page 6
