Jim broke the silence. “What I did, I know it can’t make any… God knows Sikander did more than any man I know to prevent it from making a difference,” reflected Jim. “I don’t know now if I could ever be forgiven for it. I just had to come and let you know how ashamed and sorry I am. If there was anything I could do to undo what was done in those days, I swear I’d give my life to do it now.”
“You know better than we do, what you did to my brother, Mr. Mahler,” said Jamil with disdain, no longer able to use Mahler’s first name. Mahler’s earlier moment of surprise came flashing back to Jamil and he realized now that their visitor had arrived ready to feel their resentment.
But Jamil hadn’t known and neither had Rabia. Jamil continued: “And while I won’t forgive you, out of respect for Sikander’s memory, I’ll neither discuss this with anyone else nor use it against you. My brother’s memory means too much to me to taint it with…vengeance.”
“Sorrow, forgiveness; those will be matters between you and God,” came the voice from behind the veil, “and whatever true repentance you might feel, not toward us, but to the Almighty. For myself, I hope you use this remorse to guide the rest of the life that my husband bought for you.” Rabia paused to regain her breath. “Perhaps that will be God’s way of giving you the chance to understand what you have done to yourself.”
For the first time her eyes were opened to an insight that her husband had arrived at years ago, during his days in captivity.
“If there’s anything I can do—” began Mahler.
“Mr. Mahler, I’ll be returning to Pakistan with my children. I will try my best to forget you—”
Again Rabia choked. Wishing for nothing more now than for Mahler to be out of her presence, she turned her veiled head away and waved her arm toward the door. Jamil’s silence conveyed much the same. Mahler arose from his seat and paid his respects: “Jamil. Ma’am,” before seeing himself out.
As the shock, denial, and anger subsided, Jamil’s attention turned to Mahler’s gift. He weighed whether to toss it in the bin or open it, but his curiosity drove him to the latter. It contained a small box and a letter. He handed them to Rabia, who opened the box. In it was a medal suspended from a blue ribbon with several red and white stripes down the middle and on the back of the octagonal medal were the words “Soldier’s Medal” with the name James A. Mahler Jr. engraved. She unfolded the letter, which turned out to be two separate sheets. The first was for Jamil and Rabia.
Dear Jamil and Mrs. Khan,
Words cannot express my sorrow and regret for Sikander’s death. In the short time I knew him, I found him to be the most genuinely likeable person I have ever met, despite my own efforts to remain cold and distant to him.
You must already know I was the man who tortured him five years ago. I don’t care what the government calls it. That’s what it was, and I live with regret of that fact every day of my life, a life Sikander gave his own to preserve. With that courageous act, he spoke to me to say that despite all I had done, he still thought that my life held value. It was an act I could personally relate to, as you will see if you read the note accompanying this letter. I think Sikander would have understood why you should have what I’ve left for you. I am truly sorry and, for what it’s worth, I am resigning from Carolectric effective immediately.
Sincerely,
Capt. James A. Mahler, retd.
Rabia studied the letter a while longer. It did nothing to deliver the kind of meaning her soul hungered for. She handed it to Jamil and opened the smaller note. It was printed on U.S. Department of Defense letterhead, and contained a concise description of an act of heroism on Jim Mahler’s part in saving his fellow soldiers and two civilians in a fire at considerable personal risk to himself. At the bottom of the note was an explanation of the medal’s criteria of issue:
The Soldier’s Medal is awarded to any person of the Armed Forces of the United States, or of a friendly foreign nation, who while serving in any capacity with the Army of the United States distinguished him/herself by heroism not involving actual conflict with an enemy. The same degree of heroism is required as for the award of the Distinguished Flying Cross. The performance must have involved personal hazard or danger and the voluntary risk of life under conditions not involving conflict with an armed enemy. Awards are not made solely on the basis of having saved a life.
Rabia handed this, too, to Jamil. In her emptiness, there was little consolation, and it made no impact on her feelings toward Mahler, though it heightened her sense of Sikander’s consummate integrity for keeping the matter from her and the family. He had obviously tried to protect their sensibilities in the face of his own decision to keep Mahler.
James Mahler sat behind the wheel of his car next to his wife, Louise, staring at infinity. A minute passed without a word, and then he started the engine and drove away. He had begun the search for something he wanted badly; something he had seen in Sikander and that had thus far eluded him. It was the same search his once victim and then savior had completed years ago, ironically with Mahler’s unwitting, yet cruel assistance. He was seeking his own humanity, which years of hateful corrosion had enveloped and almost, but not completely, concealed.
THE END
Glossary
A novel like SIKANDER covers a large sweep of geography and culture. Not surprisingly, many terms are used from different languages and the reader generally can get an inkling of meaning from the context in which a word or phrase is used. However, I thought it would be attractive to create a substantive glossary of all the words or phrases that might seem strange to one not immersed in the culture or environment of the novel. Owing to the diversity of settings, I’ve somewhat unconventionally arranged the glossary to have each word and its language identified, following which is a succinct meaning, and then a more in-depth elaboration for the REALLY curious. If there are uncommon abbreviations, those too are included with “English” in that case being implied rather than stated. Also to make things a little easier, all words are transliterated into Latin alphabet form. Often, alternative forms are widely used and in such cases they are separated by a semicolon. Where a closely related word exists whose explanation makes sense to provide in conjunction with the original word, it is added alongside the original, separated by a comma.
I am indebted to the kind assistance of Mr. Hamid Sibghatullah for his review of the Islamic terms in this glossary. Any of the nuanced topics could probably each take up an entire book and we have obviously tried to manage the content to a reasonable degree of succinctness. In this regard, as a Muslim, I must acknowledge that several descriptions have been given in the Glossary regarding Islam and Islamic principles, laws, culture etc. While I have strived to ensure the accuracy of the content, if there is any error then please know that it is not intentional and I seek forgiveness of Allah, Subhanahu-wa-ta-’ala for such error as there may be.
An important theme in SIKANDER is the Pashtun tribal code of Pashtunwali. Owing to its nature and to provide a richer sense of the cultural backdrop for Pashtun life, several terms appear in the Glossary that do not appear in the text but are relevant to a more complete understanding of Pashtunwali. All terms which form part of Pashtunwali are delineated as such with the parenthetic reference under the term in question, regardless of whether they are mentioned in the text, or not.
Lastly, there are always many points of view and levels of scholarship that inform the discussion of the meanings of words and terms. I do not profess to be especially knowledgeable about these though I have taken to using research and consultation with others more knowledgeable than myself when the need seemed to present itself. It is highly unlikely therefore, that everyone will agree with my own renditions of many of the meanings and such readers are invited to visit the website for the book: www.sikanderbook.com to offer their own input on the blog pages, or send me an email via the website.
Abaa
Pashto
Father.A term for one’s
father.
Abba,Abba-jan; Abba-jee
Urdu
Father.Term of endearment about or to one's father; with-jan or -jee adds more respect.
Aba’i
Pashto
Mother.Used to refer to a mother but not to address the mother.
Adey
Pashto
Mother.Term of endearment directed toward a mother.
Afridi
Pashto
Amajor tribe of the Khyber region.
Alhamdulillah!
Arabic
Praisebe to Allah!
‘Alim
Arabic
Knowledgeableone.One who is qualified and recognized by the community of ‘ulemaas having sufficient knowledge of Islamto be permitted to transmit it authoritatively to others.
AllahuAkbar!
Arabic
Godis great!Muslimsbelieve that given the boundless greatness of the Almighty,a simplesuperlativelike“greatest,” connotescomparability where none exists. God is incomparable with anythingand the normal English translation of akbar is therefore “great,”rather than “greatest.”
Allahua‘alam
Arabic
Godknows [best].Refersto matters of conjecture where the speaker is deferring to thegreater knowledge of God and acknowledging the conjecture forbeing just that.
AllahHafiz!
Arabic
Godprotects!May God protect you. A common invocation at a time of parting. Itis often uttered as “Khuda hafiz.” In this case,“Khuda,” is a Persian word whose Indo-European root,“Khud”, meaning “self” and by implication,self-sufficient, is actually the same as the one for the English“God.” Some Muslims have shunned using Khuda andadopted the use of Allah, but most scholars agree that “God”is an acceptable English translation of “Allah,” so aPersian one can be no less acceptable.
AK-47
Abbr.
TheKalashnikov AK-47 rifle.A Russian made and much copied small arms weapon using a 7.62mmround from a typically 30 round magazine clip.
Ammee,Ammee-jan
Urdu
Mom.Motheras a term of endearment to one's mother; with –jan adds morerespect.
APC
Abbr.
ArmoredPersonnel Carrier.
Apostate
English
Onewho has relinquished the beliefs and practice of religion.Mosttypically refersto Muslims who have turned away from Islam.
Asr
Arabic
Theafternoon prayer.The third ofthe five daily obligatory prayers for all Muslims.
Assalaamu'alaykum
Arabic
Peacebe upon you!The customary greeting at the start of interaction betweenMuslims; loosely equivalent to Hello, Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening.
Assalaamu'alaykum wa-rahmatullah
Arabic
Aform of greeting that is typically uttered at the end of prayer.It isdirected to each of two angels (on the left and right) everwatchful of, and recording aperson’sdeeds or actions.
Assalaamu'alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakaatuhu
Arabic
Addingbeneficence (rahmah)and grace (barakah)above and beyond the normal greeting to people.
Attan
Pashto
AnAfghan dance.It is oftenperformed at weddings.
Ayah,Ayat
Arabic
Literallya Sign of Allah.Itapplies to any perceivable aspect of creation, but used most oftenspecifically to mean a “verse,” in the Holy Qur'an,all of whose verses are also considered divine Signs of Allah.
Azaan;adhaan
Arabic
Thecall to prayer.Generally it is issuedthrough loudspeakers in modern times to call a neighborhood to theprayer at a masjid.Although Muslims also have various optional prayers they canperform throughout a day or night, the azaan is only issued forthe five obligatory prayersaccording to most Sunnitraditions.
Badal(Pashtunwali)
Pashto
Literallya swap or exchange.Itincludes, but is not limited to acts of vengeance be they in termsof physical or economic harm to the other party, thoughalways in the spirit of equitability.
Badragha(Pashtunwali)
Pashto
Anarmed escort for protecting a traveler or fugitive passing througha tribe or clan’s geographic boundary, from enemies inpursuit.
Bahu
Urdu
Adaughter-in-law.
Balandra(Pashtunwali)
Pashto
Cooperation.Usedin the sense where aid is delivered to one who lacks the means tocomplete atask,such as planting the field. The assisted party typically hosts theproviders of assistance with a meal.
Baraat
Urdu
Thewedding entourage of a groom and his family. Itis customary for the groom to arrive at the place chosen by thebride’s family for the wedding ceremony and then depart withthe bride back to the home of the groom.
Barakah
Arabic
Graceor blessings of Allah.Generally it isseen in terms of wealth or wellbeing,though strictly it need not be so.It is also the underlying root of the name Barack as in USPresident Barack Obama.
Baramta(Pashtunwali)
Pashto
Similarto bota but with hostages taken from the obligee’s village.
BDU
Abbr.
BattleDress Uniform.The BDU wasworn by the US Army from the mid 1980’s onward and wassupersededin 2005 by the Army Combat Uniform or ACU.
Bettha
Urdu
Son.The “tth” sound used here is pronounced like anEnglish “t” but with the tip of the tongue rolled backuntil its underside touches the roof of the mouth prior to releaseof air.
Bhabhi
Urdu
Sister-in-law.
Bhai
Urdu
Brother.Used to mean a blood relation but often used as a respectfuladdress to a friend. More common in the“friend”usage culturally than isthe word “brother” asused in western cultures.
Bilga(Pashtunwali)
Pashto
Beingan accessory to a theft.Generallyevidenced by stolen property in one’s possessionfor whichone isheld responsible,until or unless he/she makes good the loss, or reveals the sourceof the stolen property.
Bismillah,Bismilla-hirrahma-nirraheem
Arabic
Inthe name of God. Muslimscommence all endeavors big or small, by saying openly or tooneself, Bismillah. It seeks to ensure that the endeavor isrighteous. One could never say this, for example, prior to muggingsomeone. With the extended reference it is translated as “Inthe name of God, the beneficent, the caring.” Notably, thelatter description is also translated to “the merciful,”though Muslim scholars prefer the more accurate reference to“care” in the idea of “Raheem.”
Bota(Pashtunwali)
Pashto
Seizureof property in lieu of an obligation.The seizure is lawfully held until the obligation is discharged.It is similar to a lien but isn’t recorded against specificproperty.
Burkha;Burqa
Urdu
Ahead-
to-toe covering for females.It representsthe most comprehensive form of practice of veiling.Small holes ora mesh inthe facial area allow for limited visibility. The “q”sound here is obtained by pressing the part of the tongue that isin the back of the throat against the back wall of the throatbefore abruptly releasing it withoutvocal chord action.As such it frequently appears with no “u” soundfollowing itin words of Persi-Arabic origin.
Chacha,Chachu
Urdu
Father’syounger brother.The Chachu form is usually more affectionate.
Chador
Urdu
Alarge usually woolen shawl.Generallyit isworn by men or women as a covering and a protection against theelements.
Chai
Urdu
Tea.
Charss
Urdu
Adrug.It comesfrom the cannabis plant andis traditionallymadebyhand rubbing the plant leaves but also using other methods.
Chigha(Pashtunwali)
Pashto
Aposse formed for pursuit of bandits or raiders that have stolenproperty.
Chowk
Urdu
Atown or city square or major street intersection.
CI
Abbr.
ComfortItem.Small items allowed to the detainees at Guantanamo according totheir pattern of compliance and cooperation. The more compliantdetainees receive more CIs. Only boxer shorts remain if all CIshave been withdrawn. More clothing, flip-flops and board gamesrepresent the other end of the spectrum.
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