“He wouldn’t even look at me in the car last night.” I reminded him, feeling ridiculously girly at the moment.
“After he gets triggered, he doesn’t look at anyone, he doesn’t talk to anyone until he’s ready again. He has a really hard time afterwards.” He eyes narrowed on my face. “He doesn’t blame you for what happened Ally. No one does. That guy had it coming.” I smiled at that, I agreed completely. Okay, it wasn’t completely my fault. I could deal with that.
“Any other triggers I should avoid?” Asher sighed and thought about it while I put on the shoes he gave me.
“Yeah, don’t come up behind him and touch his back.” I winced; I had done that last night too. Asher noticed. “It’s really not as bad as the hitting trigger; he only jumps and spins around.”
“Okay, no touching his back.” I assured him. “Anything else?”
“Besides waking him up? Nothing you need to know about.” Asher hedged. I raised an eyebrow to let him know I noticed. He gave me a half grin; he was keeping his mouth shut. I took a deep breath and let it out feeling much better.
“Okay. Now show me how not to kill myself.”
Over the next couple hours Asher taught me about anchors, belays and the safety equipment needed to rock climb. He taught me several knots and drilled me on them relentlessly. Soon enough, I was in a harness and trying to climb the 5.7 wall; the beginner's wall he said. Beginners wall my ass. The wall went up forty feet. I was climbing alone since Asher was down below acting as my belayer, holding the slack from my line in case I fell. The center wasn’t busy today, so I was alone half way up when I had to stop for a second.
“Are you sure this is the beginners wall?” I shot down at him, holding tight to my handholds. Asher chuckle at me.
“The expert wall is sixty feet high, with a lot of angles and overhangs.” Asher shouted up at me. I groaned at what he was describing. “Ease up on your grip Ally girl, you only want enough pressure to keep you there.” I immediately loosened my death grip on the hard handholds. I started moving again, finding handholds that were comfortable for me to grab and pulling myself up. I climbed several more feet, my arms starting to burn. I paused again and made the mistake of looking down. My head spun at the distance to the mat. I looked back at the wall trying to forget how high I was.
“Remind me again what happens if I fall?” I called down really needing the reminder.
“In here, I have the other end of the rope through a clamp on my harness; I’ve been pulling off the slack from your rope. You fall, my weight will counter yours, lifting me up and bring you to a stop.” He reassured me. “I’m not going to drop you Ally.” I nodded, as I started moving again. “Use your legs to move your weight not your arms!” He shouted up at me a few minutes later. I nodded and did what he said. I was almost to the top. My arms and legs were shaking as I finally reached to top. I smacked it like Asher had told me to. Then I had to get down.
“Asher! How the fuck do I get down?” I called looking down at him. He gave me that big smile of his. Shit.
“You're going to drop.” My stomach knotted hard. “You need to practice falling anyway.” I bit my lower lip, my arms were shaking, and I was going to loose my grip soon anyway.
“You sure?” I asked. I’d seen other people in the center drop that way, it did look kind of fun.
“Yeah, I’ve got you. Now drop.” I took a deep breath for courage and let go. I dropped. My stomach jumped into my throat as I sped towards the mats. Only I wasn’t going as fast as I thought I would. When I stopped, I looked down to see Asher had been pulled up about five feet up the wall. His grip on my rope tight. I watched as he let out his end of the line slowly bringing him to the floor. I spun around my back to the wall. Asher’s arms worked as he lowered me slowly. When my feet touched the mat, I looked up at the wall, grinning from ear to ear. That was awesome.
“Still want to go climbing with us this summer?” Asher asked pulling my attention from the wall. He started unhooking himself from his harness.
“Oh, hell yeah.” I said emphatically. Asher chuckled as he dropped his harness and reached out to unhook mine.
“You’re going to need a lot of practice if you want to go climbing with us.” Asher began letting go of my harness so I could pull it off my lower body. “We’re talking a couple times a week to practice, more if you're really into it.”
“I’ll talk to Rory about it. I’m pretty sure he’ll let me.” Asher picked up the harnesses and led the way back to the benches in the front of the building. I was pulling off my shoes when he handed me a bottle of water. I opened it and took a big drink. I finished taking my shoes off and looked over at him.
“So, how long have you been rock climbing?”
“Since forever, my dad used to take me every chance he got.” Asher shrugged, opening his water bottle. “We don’t really go anymore.” I finished pulling on my shoe.
“Sorry.” I didn’t mean to bring up a sore subject. He winked at me letting me know it was okay. “So is this what you want to do when you finish school? Be a climbing instructor?”
“No, I love my hobby but I don’t want it to become my job.” He turned towards me, his legs straddling the bench. I started pulling on my other shoe.
“So, what do you want to do?” I asked genuinely curious.
“My dad wants me to get a football scholarship, get to the NFL the whole nine yards.” His voice was resigned, like he accepted that this is what he was going to do. This kind of irked me.
“That’s what your dad wants, what do you want?” I finished tying my shoe and turned on the bench towards him. Asher sighed as he started peeling the label off his bottle. He was looking everywhere but at me. He knew what he wanted to do; he just didn’t want to admit it.
“If I tell you mine, will you tell me yours?” I asked hoping this would get him to talk. Asher grinned at me.
“Okay, you first.” Asher stated, leaning forward. Shit. I groaned as I felt my face turning red. That really got his attention. “Oh, this is going to be good.” I wrinkled my nose at him before looking at the bench between us.
“It’s a little different.” I told him gathering my courage. “I want to be a tattoo artist.” I peeked up at him. His eyebrows had shot up; the surprise on his face was clear as day. Then the eyebrows came down, and he seemed to think about it.
“You are a really good artist.” He admitted. “You’re better than good. But that’s just my opinion. You know the guy who can’t draw.” I smiled gratefully; he wasn’t going to make fun of me. I wasn’t insecure about much, but becoming a tattoo artist was one of them. My face was still burning when I pointed at him.
“Your turn.”
“I would honestly like to be a chef.” Asher admitted, his face wincing.
“Then do that.” I said simply. His eyes grew darker as his frown came back.
“I can’t, my Dad-”
“Are you going to do what your Dad wants your whole life? Or are you going to wait until you’re in you’re in your 40’s or 50’s and he dies before you do what makes you happy?” I asked looking him in the eye. “That would be half your life, gone. Fifty years is a long time to be unhappy.” I shrugged backing off; I couldn’t make Asher’s choices for him. I only wanted Asher to be happy, and it didn’t seem like football was going to do it. “Just promise me you’ll think about it?” Asher’s gaze ran over my face before he nodded. Then he leaned forward smirking at me. Uh-oh.
“It looked like it went pretty well with Dylan last night.” I eyed him suspiciously.
“Maybe.”
“Just maybe? Not yes?” He asked smiling entirely too much, he knew something or heard something.
“You boys gossip just as much as girls do.” I tossed one of the shoes at him. He chuckled, catching it against his chest.
“Come on Ally, I sent the guy over to you.” He pointed out. “I should get some details.”
I sighed, he was right. If I had sent a girl over to meet him,
I’d want details too.
“Yeah, we had fun.” I admitted. “He’s nice, he got my sense of humor right away, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s a hottie.” And that voice was killer, but there was no way I was going to admit that to Asher. “It was great, until I got shoved into the bar and whisked outside without a word.” Asher smiled.
“He called me last night wondering what happened. He apparently only saw the last part with Miles taking you outside and a bloody unconscious guy on the floor.” Asher took a drink before continuing. “Dylan ended up taking the guy to the hospital; he had a broken nose, a concussion, and a cracked jaw.” I groaned and closed my eyes. Zeke had really lost control last night.
“Let me guess, he didn’t ask for my number.” Asher snorted.
“Actually he did.” I raised an eyebrow. Really? Dylan asked for my number? After that?
“Seriously?” I had to ask, just to be sure I heard him right. Asher nodded.
“I had to explain who Zeke was first, but he asked for your number.” He ran his eyes over my face. “Should I give it to him?” I felt my face start to turn pink.
“Yeah, give him my number.” I gave a half shrug. “Just because he gets it doesn’t mean he’ll call Asher.” Asher pulled out his cell phone grinning. He typed a text message and sent it.
“I bet he’ll call as soon as he has it.” I laughed at that.
“I’ll take that bet, another free lesson if I win.” I offered pulling my cell from my bra and putting it on the bench between us.
“Deal.” Asher gestured toward the phone. “Give him five minutes.”
“Agreed.” Asher sat there watching the phone and looking at the clock. He was frowning more as time went by. We waited five minutes before Asher cursed. I snickered at him.
“Told ya.” I taunted him before picking up my phone and putting it back in my bra.
“He’ll call Ally, maybe not right now. But I’m pretty sure he’ll call.” Asher promised. I started laughing. Asher the matchmaker.
“If he does, I’ll let you know. If he doesn’t, you’ll never hear the end of this.” I promised. Asher groaned. I left soon after that; another client of Asher's had an appointment. I walked away wondering if Dylan would really call today. Probably not, but it would be nice.
When I got home, I told Rory that I wanted to get climbing lessons so I could go climbing with the guys this summer. Rory smiled and agreed. It was weird asking for something and getting it. I walked upstairs and took a shower. I pulled on comfy boot cut blue jeans, a black cami and a big over-sized gray and black sweater. The neck hung off my shoulder but since I was at home, it didn’t matter. I spent the rest of the day on the internet looking for ways to deal with Bitch Ghost at school tomorrow. It was around nine when my phone vibrated. It wasn’t Dylan.
Miles: Has anyone heard from Zeke today?
I was looking down at my phone as the others answered.
Asher: No.
Ethan: Nope.
Isaac: He didn’t show up for training.
Alexis: Me neither.
There was a heartbeat of time as I wondered what was going on, and then my phone was vibrating.
Miles: That’s not good.
Isaac: He’s working tonight.
Asher: Someone needs to get over there and talk to him.
Ethan: Beautiful, can you head over and talk to Zeke?
Asher: Are you sure, that’s a good idea?
Miles: That’s a brilliant idea.
Alexis: What’s going on guys?
There was a pause as I waited for an answer.
Asher: After Zeke is triggered, we usually hear from him the next day.
Miles: We need someone to get him to talk tonight and you’re the best option.
Isaac: You he won’t hit or shove out the door.
Ethan: Pick up some fast food and take it over to the garage. Show him the bag and he’ll let you in the door.
Asher: Ask him why no one has heard from him.
Isaac: Yes! Feed the beast, it soothes him. But don’t give him the bag until you're inside.
Alexis: Send me the address, tell me what he likes and I’ll head over.
They sent over the address and the burger joint that Zeke loved in town. I pulled my jacket on and headed downstairs. Rory and Tara were in the living room. I tucked my phone away inside my jacket as I went to Rory.
“Rory, can I go out for a bit?” Rory looked up at me a frown on his face.
“It’s a school night.” He said eyeing what I was wearing. “Where do you want to go?”
“Zeke hasn’t talked to anyone today, the guys asked me to take him some food and get him talking.” I shrugged not really understanding how I’d be able to help, but willing to try. Rory’s frown disappeared.
“Yeah go on, but be back before eleven.” He told me, already going back to watching television. I was out the door when Tara started screaming about letting me go out on a school night.
I winced and pushed it out of my mind. I drove to the burger joint and got what the boys told me to pick up. A triple bacon cheeseburger and large fries, the damn burger was huge. I followed the navigation on my phone till I reached a mechanics shop. It was a two bay shop, both bay doors closed. Though I could see a light was on. Zeke’s Jeep was parked to the side out front. This must be the place. I grabbed Zeke’s food and hurried to the door. I gave a few hard knocks and waited. It didn’t take long for him to answer. The dented metal door opened, Zeke looked down at me confused.
“Lexie?” He said like he didn’t quite believe I was here. I looked at his face and started to worry. His eyes were bloodshot, the bags under his eyes dark. It didn’t look like he had even gone to sleep last night. The guys were right something was wrong.
“Quick, let me in it’s freezing out here.” I demanded as I pushed my way into the garage office. Zeke took a step to the side as I closed the door behind me with a slam. I was in! I held the greasy bag out to him. “I brought food.” His brow drew down as he frowned at me. He took the bag and opened it. He sighed then closed the bag and looked down at me.
“The guys sent you.” He stated simply. “You shouldn’t be here, Lexie.” He turned and walked through a door and into the garage. Was he still wearing the same clothes from last night? With Zeke’s wardrobe it was hard to tell, but I think I was right. I followed a few steps behind him, really getting worried now. There were two cars sitting in the bays, both with their hoods up. Zeke went to the sink near the door and began washing his hands.
“Why’s that?” I asked watching him clean as much of the grease off his hands as he could. He worked on cars so much; parts of his hands were permanently stained the color of engine grease. I noticed the bruises and cuts on his knuckles from last night. “Because you’re at work?” He shook his head, his shoulders tense as he dried his hands. He tossed the towel in the garbage and picked up the bag again. He was walking toward the second bay before I tried again. “Why haven’t you talked to anyone today?” He dropped the bag on the worktable then leaned on his hands against the surface.
“Because no one should be around me.” He growled over his shoulder at me before he looked back down at the table. “Least of all you.” I stepped around what looked like a hoist to stand closer.
“What are you talking about?” He stared at the pegboard in front of him as if it had the answer to every question he ever wanted to ask.
“I have my Father’s temper Lexie.” He was looking down at the worktable again shaking his head slowly. “I shouldn’t be around people; I shouldn’t be around you.” His voice was honest, like he really believed the bullshit he was saying.
“This is about the fight last night?” I asked keeping my voice soft. I watched his back as his body tense up even more.
“I shouldn’t have lost control like that.” He bit out, a fist banging into the table. “Not with you that close.” Was he pissed at himself because he thought he could have hurt me? That’s what it seemed like. That wal
l around my heart lost a large chunk right there in that garage. Zeke might be terrifying as hell at times and intimidating to a scary degree. But I had no doubt in my mind that he would never hurt me. But I wasn’t the one who needed to be convinced.
“Zeke, I’m the reason you lost it.” I told him my voice serious. “That guy shoved me into the bar-”
“I know, but I overreacted.” His voice was hard, his jaw clenched. His hand shook as he ran it through his hair. “I saw you hit the bar. I saw your face, and I fucking lost it.” My heart ached, he was so furious with himself. He kept talking. “I thought he really hurt you Lexie, and you only got the wind knocked out of you.” Fuck. This was my fault; if I hadn’t lied about how much I was hurt Zeke wouldn’t be torturing himself right now. I was going to show him my back. I knew I was. He was trying to tell me that he didn’t trust himself around me that he was dangerous to me and I couldn’t let him think that.
“Zeke, that guy hurt me-”
“I know he did, but-”
“No Zeke.” I said, my voice hard. “He really fucking hurt me.” My heart slammed in my chest as he finally looked at me. I watched two different emotions fighting it out in those sky blue eyes. I held his gaze refusing to look away. I pulled off my jacket and dropped it to the floor. I reached for my sweater glad I was wearing a cami underneath.
“Lexie stop, what are you...?” Zeke turned to stop me. I pulled off my sweater and dropped it onto my jacket. His voice trailed off as he saw I was still dressed. If I wasn’t so tense, I would have laughed at the stunned look on his face. I collected my hair in my right hand and I gestured for him to come closer with my left. “Take a look.” He was frowning. It felt like he was walking in slow motion around me. I heard my pulse in my ears; my chest was tight as I waited. When he saw my back, he cursed and everything seemed to come back to normal speed.
“Baby, what the hell happened to you?” He breathed, his voice just barely there. I felt a rough finger tip trace from my neck to my shoulder. “These aren’t fucking new.” My eyes were on the far wall.
“My Mother beat the shit out of me. It’s why I’m here with Rory.” I told him trying to keep my voice matter of fact. “It doesn’t even hurt unless I get hit in the back.” I turned around and looked up at his face. His eyes had changed from self-hating to wanting to rip someone apart.
Trying To Live With The Dead Page 15
