“Yeah, let me at those carrots.” He chuckled as he handed me the knife with him holding the blade. I took it carefully not wanting to cut him. He stepped away and continued cutting the chicken. I worked in silence while I got used to what I was doing, then I was able to talk and not cut myself. “So, you usually make yellow curry from scratch?”
“Yeah, it’s just so much better when you make it yourself. The flavor isn’t watered down and you can add different things to change it as you go.” I smiled to myself as Asher began talking about cooking. The recipes he loved and the ones that crashed and burned. Apparently, Asher was having trouble with a banana's foster; he said he just sucked at desserts. I asked him questions about why you do this or that when cooking and he actually knew the answers. Over the next hour, he was animated, excited and happy as he talked about food and cooking. It made my heart melt a little. He needed to be a chef, it’s what he loved. When we finished with the prep, I sat on the breakfast bar again and watched him cook. He impressed me. He put everything in a huge serving bowl and told me to grab mine before the guys came in as he headed out to tell the guys dinner was ready. I had just finished dishing up my bowl when the others came in. I quickly got out of their way and headed back to the dining room.
I sat back down in my spot and took a bite. Oh, my god....that is soo good. Okay, Asher was a cooking God, and I needed to make him see that. I put it on my to do list in the back of my head. Make Asher go to culinary school. There is no way I’d forget that. Everyone else came in and sat down. Asher pulled his books out before he ate dinner.
“Asher, will you marry me?” I asked down the table covering my mouth since I was talking with my mouth full. Everyone chuckled. Those blue eyes flashed down the table at me.
“You just want me for my cooking.” He accused me, smiling. I swallowed my food and scoffed in mock outrage.
“No, you're my wonderful friend Asher.” I told him honestly. Then I mumbled. “Who could also cook like a God.” Asher burst out laughing, his cheeks turning pink.
“I don’t think so Ally girl.” He said shaking my head.
“Can’t blame a girl for trying.” I grumbled before taking another bite. The boys laughed at me. I didn’t care; I was stuffing myself on Asher’s cooking.
Everyone was still in the dining room an hour later. Asher had just finished his homework and was putting his books away when Zeke got to his feet.
“I’ve got to go to work.” Zeke grumbled as he headed out the door to the hallway. Everyone said bye. He waved bye without turning around then he was gone. I couldn’t stall any more. I had to go do those meditation exercises.
“Miles, is there anywhere in the house that is, well, peaceful?” I asked. Miles looked down the table at me. “I need to start those meditation exercises.” He seemed to think about it, and he smiled.
“There is one place. Come on, I’ll show you.” He got to his feet, and I followed as he led me down the left side of the long hallway. I looked around as I followed; I’d never been past the dining room on this side of the house. He took me all the way to the end to a glass wall and door. Through the glass, I saw a lot of green plants. He opened the door, switched on the light and gestured for me to go first. I walked into a giant glass room filled with plants and the sound of flowing water.
“You have a conservatory?” I couldn’t believe it. Climbing plants covered some of the glass walls. Flowering vines covered every column. There was green everywhere, with flowers of every color imaginable tucked here and there.
“My mother is a botanist, or was before she stopped working, she still loves plants.” Miles explained as I walked further into the room. I followed the path through the forest of plants. When I reached the center of the room, I found a round cement fountain in the center of the clearing with water streaming out of three frogs mouths into the blue-tiled basin. It was amazing. I was also pretty sure my mouth had dropped opened, so I made a point to close it.
“Wow.” I muttered; it was all I could manage. I looked up to see a curved glass ceiling twenty feet above. I bet if you shut off the lights you’d be able to see the stars in here.
“I take it you like it?” He asked his voice quiet again. I nodded. “I would rather have an observatory.” Miles admitted. I pulled my eyes off the flowers to look at him.
“That would be pretty cool too.” I told him honestly before I went back to getting a closer look at the flowers on one of the columns. “But you’re talking to a girl who lived in a trailer for five years. Not to mention I kill every plant I ever get.” I decided not to touch any of the flowers just in case my luck was transferable.
“Good point.” Miles said. “Do you think this would work for trying to meditate?” I nodded, my eyes still running over all the colors.
“If I can’t do it here, I’ll never be able too.” I admitted. I heard him blow air through his nose.
“Then I’ll leave you to it.” I heard him walking back up the path.
“Thank you Miles.” I called out before he got out of earshot.
“You’re welcome Lexie.” Then I heard the door close, and I was alone in the big beautiful room. I looked around and found a cushioned patio couch. I sat down and pulled out my cell phone. I looked up the directions on how to begin meditating to link to the Veil. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. I tried to clear my mind but things kept popping up. Memories of my mother, memories of getting jumped, the boys showing up after I woke up. Everything over the last week kept popping up into my head, distracting me. I tried to do what the instructions said and let the thought go to keep my mind clear. I was having a hard time with it. I sat there cross-legged on the couch and tried to clear my head.
This wasn’t working. I opened my eyes and sighed. I had been at it for almost two hours and I still couldn’t even get past step one. I got up and walked back into the house. I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong when I heard raised voices.
“What the hell happened?” Asher shouted. I raised an eyebrow.
“It’s nothing, I'm fine.” Zeke’s growl rolled from the kitchen.
“Let me take a look.” Miles ordered Zeke. “I’m calling in Dr. Tayes.”
“I’ll take care of it!” Zeke growled. Something was wrong; I walked faster.
“Then you’ll have no problem showing us your hand.” Asher pointed out his voice rising. I was jogging by the time I reached the kitchen. Zeke was on the kitchen side of the breakfast counter a first aid kit open in front of him. His left hand was wrapped in bloody gauze; he was wrapping more gauze on top of the old.
“What happened?” I asked my voice hard as I strode into the kitchen. Zeke’s the only one who glanced at me then he was back dealing with his hand again.
“I had an accident at work.” Zeke snapped as he pulled the gauze tight. I stood across from Zeke at the breakfast bar and watched as blood continued to soak through the bandages. That wasn’t good.
“Miles call the doctor; tell him Zeke will probably need stitches.” I told him in calm voice. I reached into the first aid kit and pulled out a pair of gloves. Miles pulled out his phone and dialed.
“I don’t need stitches.” Zeke was shouting now, his body becoming rigid. I pulled on the gloves.
“Zeke you're bleeding through a lot of gauze. That’s not fine.” I snapped at him as I grabbed more gauze and grabbed his hand. The mound of gauze was on the top of his hand, I put his hand on flat on the counter, covering the top with my palm and pressed down with everything I had. Zeke grunted and clenched his teeth.
“That fucking hurts!” He snarled at me, hitting his other fist into the tile counter.
“Too fucking bad!” I snapped back. His scalding eyes rose to meet mine from across the counter. “We need to stop the bleeding, so suck it up!” He bent over. His head facing down looking at the floor in front him, his arms braced on the counter. He was taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly, his body shaking. “Now what the fuck happened?!” I
shouted at him, demanding an answer. The other guys backing up a step out of the corner of my eye.
“A fucking hood slammed down on my hand.” He growled at me, his head still down. “I managed to just catch it before it hit.” A weight settled in my chest. How would a hood slam down on his hand? Zeke worked on cars a lot; it didn't sound like a mistake he would make.
“What are you leaving out Zeke?” I growled hoping my instinct was wrong. Zeke hit the counter again. “Zeke!” I barked at him again. He looked up at me; his jaw clenched his eyes blazing.
“I fucking smelled patchouli right before it slammed down.” He snarled. The guys cursed. I felt myself go quiet inside, my head was clear and my body was still. I had only felt this one other time in my life and I ended up beating the shit out of someone with a short crowbar.
“Okay, did you see any broken bones?” I asked my voice calm now. Zeke dropped his head again, his body still shaking. He hit the counter again.
“No broken bones, I can move everything.” He growled. “It just won’t stop bleeding.” I kept pressure on his hand. Zeke slammed his other fist into the counter again and again.
“Yeah, break your other hand that’ll help.” Isaac snapped from somewhere behind me. There was a buzzing sound in the kitchen. Miles went to the monitor in the wall and pressed the button to open the front gate.
“Doctor’s here.”
It turned out Zeke needed a dozen stitches. I watched silently as the doctor Miles had called worked to close the big gash across the top of his hand. When I thought no one would notice I slipped out of the dining room and headed down the hall. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a tub of salt. I ignored the pounding in my ears as I headed outside and tossed that into the back of the Blazer. I walked around the outside of the house and found where the gardeners kept their tools. I picked up a shovel and a full gas can. I walked back to the blazer. I put those down and pulled down the tailgate. The doctor's car was gone. He must have been done with Zeke’s hand. My pulse was racing when I realized I didn’t have a lighter. I remembered seeing matches in the kitchen. Still in that numb calm I walked inside and went to the kitchen. I was at the drawer I remembered seeing the matches in. I opened the drawer.
“You okay, Beautiful?” Ethan asked. I didn’t even see him in the room. That didn’t really bother me right now; I had something I needed to do. I nodded and pulled the matches out.
“What are you doing with the matches Red?” I hadn’t seen Isaac either, that’s okay. I was going to make sure they were out of this from now on. I closed the drawer and headed out of the kitchen.
“Lexie!” Isaac shouted after me. “What are you doing?” I didn’t answer; I was trying to remember what else I needed. I was driving to the cemetery. Keys. I need the keys. Without keys the truck wouldn’t start.
“Guys! Lexie has matches and has gotten real fucking quiet!” Ethan shouted down the hall as I walked into the living room. I picked up my jacket and checked the pockets. Vaguely, I heard feet running down the hall. I found my keys.
“What’s going on?” Miles voice was quiet behind me. I ignored them; I was almost out the door anyway.
“She came in, she got matches and hasn’t said ...” Isaac’s voice went out of earshot as I stepped outside. I reached the truck and picked up the shovel. I needed to get going. I had a lot of digging to do before dawn.
“Lexie, what do you think you're doing?” Zeke voice came from behind me. I didn’t even hear him come out.
“Taking care of a problem.” I put the shovel inside the back of the truck my hands shaking. Why was I shaking? Huh, I’ll figure it out later. I have to get going.
“You said you didn’t want to go that route remember?” Miles voice was gentle. When did he get here? I focused on picking up the gas can and putting that in the back too.
“Things change.” I slammed the gate shut. The pounding in my ears was getting louder. I headed around the truck. Asher was standing in front of the driver side door. Where did he come from?
“Please move, Asher.” That numbness was starting to fade, and I wanted to get this done before that. I needed to get this done before that happened. “Can’t do that Ally.” I needed to get in the Blazer and Asher was blocking me. My skin hot, edgy, the cool fall air was feeling really good right now. The other side. I can use the other door. I went to walk around Asher but he stepped in front of me. “We can’t let you do something when you're angry that you’ll regret later.” I shook my head. I didn’t understand what he was saying. I wasn’t angry. I just needed to get this done now.
“I’m not angry, things are just very clear right now.” I said my voice calm and flat. There was a curse, but Asher’s mouth didn’t move.
“Lexie, you’re severely pissed off and aren’t thinking straight right now.” Ethan’s voice was calm next to me. I turned my head to see him standing there. I was confused, when did he get here? The numbness was starting to pull back. My skin was feeling tight. No. I couldn’t just stand around, I needed to keep going, keep moving. Before I began to feel again.
“Doesn't matter.” I said as my shoulders grew tense. “She hurt my friends. I hurt her. It’s very simple.” I reached for the driver door. There was another curse, maybe Ethan? Was Ethan still out here? Asher moved back to block me.
“You said you didn’t want to go this route because you didn’t know what would happen to her. You remember that?” Isaac’s voice surprised me; I didn’t know he was here too. I turned my head to see him stepping around Ethan. Ethan was still out here after all. When I couldn’t move forward that numbness began pulling back. Fire licked in my gut as I pictured the marks on Mile’s neck, the blood on Zeke’s hand. It needed to stop. I needed to make that bitch stop. I felt my body really starting to shake. I needed to move.
“Screw her.” I managed through clenched teeth. I still needed in the truck. I turned to walk around the back of the truck only to find myself blocked. The others had spread out behind me, boxing me in. Didn’t they get it? Didn’t they understand that until I did this, this shit would just keep happening? That numbness pulled back further, my body became rigid as the fire in my gut built to a blaze. Feeling was coming back hard and fast. The numbness disappeared completely. The blaze rushed over me, showing me Zeke’s hand, Miles' neck. Over and over.
“You are not in the right place to make this decision tonight.” Zeke said his voice calm. How the fuck was he so calm? He should be helping me take care of that bitch, not blocking me. My blood was boiling. My hands were twitching to get moving, get digging. I took deep breaths through my nose. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to hit, beat and tear into someone till the rage was gone. I kept a tight hold on my body. I didn’t want to hit them; I didn’t want to hurt them. But they wouldn’t fucking move. I couldn’t get to that bitch. I locked my body down, not daring to move an inch. Ethan saw the change in me; I saw it in his eyes.
“Maybe we should do this like Zeke and just hold her till she calms down?” Isaac suggested, I looked from Ethan and glared at Isaac. Not if you want to live asshole. I held back a fresh wave a heat that tinged my vision red. I closed my eyes. Something was wrong. That wasn’t right. That was Isaac; I’d never want to hurt Isaac. What was wrong with me? I focused on breathing and keeping myself still. Something was very wrong.
“That would be a very bad idea.” Ethan advised. “She’s one wrong move from swinging at us.”
I really was, I was holding on by a thread. I could barely think, but I was trying to. I opened my eyes and looked at the gravel of the driveway. Still taking deep breaths. “She needs an outlet, and we’re cutting her off from the only one she’s knows right now.” A hand was held out to me, palm up. “Lexie, you need to let all that out. Come with me and I’ll show you what works for me.” I stared at Ethan’s hand for a couple minutes, oddly noticing the calluses on his fingers from guitar strings. I kept taking deep breaths, trying to swim up through the rage. It took a while before I had enough control to
trust myself to move. I lifted my eyes from the gravel to Ethan’s. His amber eyes met mine and waited. He waited patiently for me to be ready to move. I reached out and put my shaking hand in his. His hand closed around mine.
“Brother, get my ipod from my room.” Ethan kept eye contact with me as he started walking backwards, pulling me out from between the others. After a few steps, he must have realized I wasn’t going to fight him. He turned and led me back into the house, at a slow walk. My blood was still boiling, my stomach a hard knot. I felt my jaw still clenched. I focused on moving, on not hitting anyone. On keeping myself under control. I had all this rage inside me and I didn’t know how to get rid of it. He led me through the foyer and into the living room. He walked me carefully around the couch and had me sit looking towards the fireplace. I sat down, crossing my legs under me in the middle of the couch. I tucked my hands under my butt, hoping for a little more control. The pounding in my ears was still there. So, when Isaac was suddenly there; handing Ethan his ipod and headphones I didn’t really notice. I was looking at the fireplace when Ethan sat down on the coffee table directly in front of me. His warm eyes met mine.
Trying To Live With The Dead Page 27
