by AC Netzel
“Ben Martin, you are a dirty negotiator.”
“Those are my terms.”
“Pervert,” I mouth.
“I am.”
“You’re not giving me much of a choice.”
“No, I’m not. You haven’t finished. Read on.”
I continue through the list, which is pure filth. God, I love this man.
“I didn’t realize your laptop had a sarcasm font.”
“Paid extra for the upgrade. Read.”
“Ah, fifteen and sixteen… we’re back to blowjobs.” I lift an amused brow.
“You’ve got a great mouth. Perfect to fuck.” There’s not an ounce of humor in his voice. He’s dead serious. I squirm next to him, my sex tingling. I’m a little confused to how turned on I’m getting, considering we just called off our wedding.
I don’t know how he does it. I’m devastated one minute and hot and bothered the next. He truly does own me, body and soul.
“I have to admit— this,” I hold up the paper, “isn’t how I expected the day to play out.” I glance at the next line then look back up at him. “I think number nineteen is illegal.”
“Not in New York,” he answers quickly.
I laugh and move on to the last line. “Marry me… someday,” I read out loud as tears well in my eyes.
“Do you agree to my terms?” he asks, his fingertip tracing my lips.
“Every single one,” I whisper.
“Good.” He kisses me softly, slowly lowering us until we’re lying on the grass, our tongues twined, dancing. I moan into his mouth, overwhelmed by how much I love him… and how much he loves me back.
He forgave me last night.
Even without the blowjob.
~o0o~
We’ve sat on the grass for the past two hours talking, laughing, and kissing.
Keeping his promise, we broke our news to my mother together over my cell’s speaker phone. She freaked, as expected, but my sister texted me later that my mother is secretly thrilled.
Ben’s family took it worse. Not because they’re upset that I’m not their daughter-in-law yet. It was all about appearances. What their friends were going to think. Ben tells me not to worry about it, so I’m not going to.
Stuart cried when we asked him to send the flowers to the Cancer center. I’m sure Elizabitch was quick with her texting finger to Cam-eel, who is probably celebrating at some Bitch Bar in the city.
Our family and friends rallied quickly and took on the guest list and phone calls to make. I owe them.
Ben lies down on the grass, his arms folded behind his head, staring at the clouds floating by. I lay next to him on my stomach, resting my chin in my hands, ignoring the fact that there are probably bugs surrounding us.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask.
“The day after Christmas, when we were broken up. I don’t know why.”
That was the first time I told Ben I loved him. He didn’t think he could give me the committed relationship I wanted. And I left him.
“It was a long time ago,” I tell him.
“I should have owned up to how I felt about you sooner. All the signs were right there in front of me.”
“How so?”
“I remember watching you walk by Emilio’s when I thought you were with someone else. In those few painful, awful, perfect seconds… The earth stopped spinning and I couldn’t breathe. I convinced myself in that tiny blip in time that everything was right in the world… and you were mine.”
The sadness in his voice breaks my heart.
“I was yours. Then. Now. Always.”
He smiles, taking my hand and kissing the back of it.
“I loved you then,” he says sincerely.
“I know.”
He shakes his head. “I was miserable. That January was the shittiest.”
“What did you do that New Years Eve... when we weren’t together?” I ask.
“I was alone. Staring at my cell phone. Fighting the urge to call you. What about you?”
“I was alone. Staring at my cell phone. Waiting for your call.”
He exhales a breath. “I’m so sorry,” he says sorrowfully.
“I know. It’s partly my fault. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.”
He caresses my cheek with the back of his hand. “I’m so glad you did.”
“Remember when we started this and we had that ‘keep it casual’ rule in place?” I ask.
“We sucked at following that rule.” He laughs.
I laugh and nod. “We sure did. This day started out horribly. Why are we laughing?”
“Because it’s what we do.”
“Wedding drama aside, this,” I wave my finger between us, “is all I ever wanted. As long as there’s an ‘us’, the rest is noise.”
“There will always be an ‘us.’ You’re the only person in the world who can bring me to my knees.”
“According to your list, you’ll be bringing me to my knees. A lot.”
He laughs, rolling on top of me, propping himself up on his elbows and kisses me.
“Let’s go home,” he says, kissing the tip of my nose.
“Okay.”
He stands, extending his arm out to me. I grab his hand and he pulls me up off the grass.
“Oh and Julia?”
“Mmm?”
“It’s Tuesday.”
Chapter 17
I inhale a deep breath with a hollow emptiness in my heart. Blinking a few times to focus, I wake up on what should have been the happiest day of my life. I turn to my side to face Ben. He’s already awake, watching me with a melancholy expression.
We gaze at each other silently for I don’t know how long. He smiles wistfully and reaches across, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand then skimming his thumb lightly against my bottom lip. I fight the urge to cry, but it’s a losing battle. With his thumb, he wipes away the tears falling down my cheek.
I touch his face, running a hand across his jawline and stubble. He closes his eyes, leaning into my touch. I know his sorrow. I feel it too.
He opens his eyes and skims a fingertip lightly down my neck to my shoulder, gazing at me lovingly with words unspoken. He doesn’t have to say anything. He knows it’s not words I need. I need this, the comfort of his touch and the love I see when he looks at me.
We lay in silence, deep in our thoughts, and lost in each other.
After a while, he pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me, and holds me.
“I love you so much, Julia Conti,” he whispers softly in my ear.
“I wish it were Martin,” I whisper back.
Warm tears roll down my face again as I weep in his arms. He holds me tighter and kisses my hair.
“We just have to wait a little longer,” he says.
I nod, tears still falling.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs.
“So are you,” I tell him because it’s the truth. He’s the most beautiful man, inside and out, I have ever met.
And although I’m brokenhearted, I know as long as we have each other…
Everything will be okay.
Chapter 18
It’s rare when I wake up before the alarm clock. It’s even rarer when I wake up before Ben. I take this opportunity to watch him sleep. Yeah, yeah, I’ve just elevated myself from fiancé to creeper. But he’s mine to gawk at and dammit, I like what I see.
I smile to myself as I realize that for the rest of my life, I can do this… wake up next to him. Okay, and stare at him. And although there’s still no platinum band around my ring finger, I’ve never felt more his.
A few weeks have passed since our canceled wedding day and things are good. My mother is back to her old self, healthy, her incision completely healed. Vivian is done with conferences for the year, which means no more additional anxiety-ridden, fragile authors, other than my usual nutcases. And Ben and I are happy. Deliriously so—even without the marriage certificate.
It turns out a piece of paper means nothing if the timing isn’t right.
His chest peacefully rises and falls with each breath he takes. I’m dying to run my fingers through his chest hair and work my way down his abs, my fingertips grazing his happy trail and that incredible V. I never thought I’d be one of those girls who’d objectify a man’s body. Then again, I never imagined a body worthy of objectification would be sleeping naked next to me.
I peek down at the blanket covering us and see a pup tent popping up by his crotch. Shaking my head, I chuckle to myself. Even sound asleep, he’s ready to fuck. Men are remarkable creatures.
I take a deep breath, inhaling in his Benessence. Mmm, he always smells so good.
“I know you’re watching me,” he mutters, his eyes still closed.
“I am not,” I lie.
“For the past five minutes… like a stalker.”
“How could you know that? Your eyes were closed.”
“You’ve been staring at my dick.”
“Wrong. It was staring at me. In fact, I’m pretty sure it twitched hello. Interesting, the way it wakes up before you.”
“I’ve been up.”
“I know, I’ve seen the evidence,” I say sarcastically, my eyes gazing down the bed toward his erection.
“I’ve been awake,” he corrects.
“Apparently, all of you has been awake.”
“Complaining?”
“Nope. Shouldn’t put all your nakedness to waste.”
He turns to his side, stretching his arm across the bed, his hand cupping my breast.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I think that’s apparent.”
“Do you reach out and fondle the tits of everyone you come in contact with?”
“No.”
“Oh, it’s something you save just for the ladies?”
“I don’t think they’d like that very much.”
They’d be stupid not to.
“Aww, something just for me?”
He caresses my breast gently, his thumb skimming across my hardening nipple. “Just for you.”
“I’m honored.”
He smiles and laughs, his hand slowly moving down across my stomach.
“Dirty boy,” I murmur.
“You love it.”
“More than you know,” I say, closing my eyes, taking pleasure in his roaming hands. “Do you love me?”
His hand stops just as he reaches the inside of my thigh. “What kind of question is that? You know I do.”
“All of me?”
“Every. Single. Inch.” His hand moves down the inside of my thigh as he continues his lascivious journey.
“Even the boring parts?”
“You have boring parts?” His brow crinkles.
“Everybody has boring parts,” I say.
“Boring parts, huh?”
I nod, smiling.
“This warrants further investigation. Let’s see if I can find this mythical boring part you speak of.” He throws the sheet over his head and explores my naked body. First licking my nipple, he takes it in his mouth and sucks. “Not boring,” he murmurs from under the sheet.
My insides tingle, my body responding to his touch as it always does. My legs squirm as I feel his soft lips heading south, slowly and deliberately down my stomach, inching closer to my throbbing sex.
“Still not bored,” he says.
He rolls over my body, careful not to crush me, his rock hard erection skimming across my leg. He settles between my legs, spreading them apart. Feather light kisses graze the sensitive skin of my inner thighs, my back arches up, my body aching for more.
I nearly jump off the bed when his tongue plants a long, flat, delicious lick up my wet, swollen slit. He sucks my clit, licking me, expertly swirling his tongue around my most sensitive spot.
“This,” he says teasing me, alternating between long velvety licks and entering inside me with the tip of his tongue, “is definitely not boring,”
“I’m glad you find me interesting,” I moan between breaths, because talking once my clit meets his mouth is impossible.
“Julia, I could lick you for breakfast every morning and never get bored. You’re already so ready for me.” His tongue teases my slit, oh-so-lightly trailing up and down. I arch my back again, in a desperate attempt to get some clit to tongue action. “So fucking good.”
His warm tongue swirls around my clit in luscious circles as he crooks a finger inside me, hitting the Holy Grail G-Spot.
“Ohhhh,” I groan, wriggling in place. I surrender to the masterful way his exquisite tongue owns me, to this exceptionally luxurious feeling. Waves of sensation wash over me and I give in to an insanely powerful orgasm.
I’m still reeling in my orgasm when his lips brush against my stomach, pausing at my breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking. I wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer to me. I need more of him. I need him inside me.
He smiles, that sexy smile I love, as he positions himself, then grabs my legs, pulling them up. I gasp at his first powerful thrust. Holy shit, he’s going to break me apart.
I close my eyes and relish in how he owns me, sinking inside me, rock hard, inch by delicious inch, deeper… deeper.
“Still not bored?” I ask between breaths.
“What do you think?” He thrusts hard again, and again, whooshing the air from my lungs.
I open my eyes and his gaze meets mine as he plunges deep inside me. Damn, that look is intense. And holy fuck sexy. The build up and that lascivious gaze are all it takes to bring me to the edge again. He smiles victoriously, knowing he brought me back there.
He knows my body and how to make it respond to his will. I close my eyes as the ripples of my orgasm invade every nerve ending.
“Open your eyes,” he commands. “I want to watch you come.”
Complying immediately, I open my eyes. Damn, I love when he dominates me in bed.
“Fuck. Me,” I pant, because that’s pretty much the only two words that come to mind, my orgasm stealing my brain cells.
He grunts out something unintelligible as he explodes inside me. My muscles clench around him, milking every pulsating throb as he rides out his orgasm.
As we float back down to earth, he looks down at me, supporting his weight on his forearms, and smiles, rubbing his nose against mine before moving next to me.
“There’s not a damn boring thing about you.” He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it.
“Do you say that to all the naked girls?” I bat my lashes.
“You are the only naked girl that keeps me entertained.”
“I hope I’m the only naked girl that keeps you, period.”
He laughs, kissing my hand again. “You are.”
“Good. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He tilts his head slightly, taking a lingering look around his bedroom.
“Something wrong?” I ask.
“No. I was just thinking. I’m glad we’re moving to the new apartment, but I’m going to miss this place. A lot of good memories here.”
“Yeah, with other girls…” I joke but I’m cut off.
“Stop it,” he reprimands. “I’m talking about us. This was the first place I told you I love you.”
I turn to my side and smile, making small circles in his chest hair with my index finger. “No, it wasn’t.”
He frowns, his brow crinkling in that adorable way I love. “Yes, it was. In my living room when I laid my cards out on the table.”
“Actually, the first time you told me you loved me was at my apartment. You showed up beyond drunk after thinking I was screwing around with Pierce, back when we were broken up.”
“I did?”
I nod. “You mumbled it and a few other things while you were passing out on my couch.”
“You never told me. I—fuck, I don’t remember.”
I shrug. “You more than made up for it.”
He turns his head and st
ares out the window.
“Ben? It’s okay.”
He turns his attention back to me and gazes at me thoughtfully. I smile at him but he doesn’t smile back. He rolls on top of me, holding his weight on his forearms, and looks down at me with a somber expression.
“You want another round?” I joke.
“I love you” His expression is serious.
“I know.”
“No. Listen to me. I am in love. With you.”
“I know.” I smile, touched by the fact that he doesn’t remember bothers him.
“Julia?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you marry me?”
I chuckle. “I think we’ve already established I will.”
“Will you marry me on Saturday?”
I push him off to the side and sit up. “This Saturday?”
“Yes.”
“Very funny,” I scoff.
“I’m not joking.”
“We don’t have a venue! There’s too much planning.”
“I’ll take care of everything. Just show up.”
“There’s menus, flowers, music. Someone has to actually marry us.”
“I know.”
“But most of our guests won’t be able to make it on such short notice.”
“Good,” he says curtly.
“You can’t put together a wedding in four days.”
“I can do anything when I set my mind to it. Marry me.”
“Ben…”
“Marry Me.”
“Ben…”
“Please be my wife.”
“You’re really serious?”
“Never been more serious about anything.”
“But…”
“Marry me, Julia Ann Conti. Say yes.”
I grin wide. “You’re crazy.”
“Crazy for you.”
“This Saturday?” I ask.
He nods, his mouth curling up into a stunning smile.
“Yes!” I exclaim and my hand flies to my mouth.
“Yes?” he asks, hopeful.
I nod enthusiastically. “Yes.”
His smile widens to a grin, his dimples dimpling, and his eyes bright and joyful.
“Holy shit, we’re getting married!” I exclaim. “Oh my God.”
“Happy?” His expression is beaming, reflecting mine.
“Ecstatic. What do I have to do?”
