by Dannika Dark
He chuckled and cocked an eyebrow. “You’re ravenous this morning. Any unusual cravings?”
What an odd question. Although now that he mentioned it, I was having a severe, unexplainable craving.
“So? Tell me what you’re hungry for, Ladybug.”
“Why are you still here?” I said with a mouthful of food. I started to eat a pineapple ring, but couldn’t remember buying any in the past year, so I tossed it to the side.
“Do you have any memory of what happened? Most don’t.”
I frowned and pulled the sheet tighter. “What’s that supposed to mean—most don’t?”
He set the plate on the bed and wiped his hands along his jeans. “Do you remember our conversation last night?”
I thought about it through the hazy fog and shook my head. “A little bit, but… was Beckett here?”
His jaw tightened enough that it sharpened the angled line of his jaw. Austin always had strong features and maybe that’s why I was attracted to him. There was nothing soft or feminine about his face… except when he smiled. Then his pale eyes sparkled so brightly that it became difficult to remember what the hell he was even laughing about.
“We’re going to talk about that later. You’re a Shifter, Lexi. Do you remember our conversation?”
“Oh, hell,” I grumbled, falling onto my back and throwing my right arm over my face. “I was really hoping that was part of the dream. Why did you come back here, Austin? To show me how crazy you’ve become? I don’t have room for crazy in my life right now.”
The sound of him chewing filled the quiet room. When he spoke, he was calm, as if we weren’t about to begin an argument. “You’re a wolf. That came as a surprise. Most of us know what our animal is before our first change because of what our parents are, unless they’re mixed, and then it’s a fifty-fifty thing. It usually shows in how we socialize with family. If both parents are leopards, the kids will be too. Not many Shifters mate outside their animal; it creates a shitload of friction in the house, from what I’ve heard.”
“Then why don’t I remember anything?”
“Few do,” he said. “The majority of Shifters either remember nothing at all, or just the first few minutes after the shift. A few outliers can remember more, if not all. Our animal prefers to be in control and there would be too much internal conflict, so they block us out. Let her out every so often or she’ll get restless and try to take over. You’re going to have to learn to be in tune with her needs, because you’re two halves that make a whole.”
He took another bite of something and sucked on his fingers.
“Are you going to eat all my breakfast?” I managed.
He set the plate on my stomach. “There’s more in the kitchen. Trust me, you’re going to want at least three helpings before it’s all said and done,” he added with a smile in his voice. “The first time is always like that. Tell me what you’re craving and I’ll have it ready for you the next time you shift.”
My chin touched my chest as I looked down and picked up a few scrambled eggs with my fingers. My appetite was waning; this was too much to accept.
“Did Beckett bruise up your face?” I cringed at the thought. Beckett was the kind of guy who held grudges against any man that showed him up, which wasn’t often.
“No. You did it.”
I blinked in surprise and Austin stood up and stretched out his toned arms. His dirty blue T-shirt was thin, faded, threadbare, and way too sexy for me to be ogling while naked in bed. It looked like one of his favorites—washed a million times. We all have a favorite shirt that the love’s been worn into.
“You can’t trust your animal until you bond with her. Introductions to someone new are usually supervised because there’s a potential for them to attack. I swear, Lexi,” he said laughing. “I seriously thought you were going to be a panther or some shit. The way we fought like cats and dogs sometimes, and hell… the way you move.”
Just then, scarlet bled into his face and he spun around, staring at a picture of sailboats in a harbor.
When I looked down at my plate, I noticed something else. Hairs on the bed. I pinched one between my fingers and it was silver.
“You can’t be serious,” I said, beginning to feel my own doubt.
“What I don’t understand is why you attacked me,” he said to himself. “I’m an alpha and you should have submitted. Most will, except for other alphas or wolves who are no good for pack life. I’ve heard about women who have alpha personalities, just never thought it was true. I’ve never met a female with as much bite as you.” He peered over his shoulder and his dark brow slanted in a way that made my toes involuntarily curl. “No pun intended.”
I stared at the hair again, rolling it between my fingers. “You’re serious? Then why don’t I remember? Seems like I’d remember turning into a dog.”
“Wolf,” he corrected with intolerant eyes. “We’re not dogs, Lexi. It’s something to be proud of.”
He scolded me with his tone and turned around, stuffing his hands in his deep pockets. “Don’t ever talk down about your animal, especially not around me. I won’t tolerate it. I’ve always considered your family my pack.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It’s common for an alpha to find his own pack outside the family, although usually it’s just a bunch of friends. That’s why I hung out at your house a lot. My brothers sure as hell weren’t going to let a nine-year-old kid try to boss them around. My parents were careful not to… damn, what’s the word? Reprimand me too much, I guess. It would be a detriment to the leader I’d one day become. I needed another family unit. I was born to lead, and having older brothers trying to put me in my place went against every shred of instinct I had. Now that I’m grown, it’s cool. Everyone knows their rank.”
“And your brothers are wolves?” I couldn’t believe I was getting sucked into his delusions.
“Yeah. In fact, that’s why I’m back in town. I’m ready to settle and they’re ready to be led.”
A mockingbird sang outside my window and a smile wound up my face.
“You don’t believe me, Lexi. But you will. I’m going to take you to meet my brothers and I’ll introduce you to one of them in their wolf form.”
“Why not you?” I scraped my fingers through my matted hair and frowned when I snagged a tangle. Damn, I must have looked like a nightmare.
He pulled his hands from his pockets and folded his arms, pacing to the door. “My wolf is dangerous.” He paused, dropping his eyes to the floor. “He’s aggressive, and I don’t completely trust him around someone new. I can’t risk hurting you.”
“How is it my mom didn’t notice I was changing into a wolf?”
“Because it’s kind of like puberty. Your body goes through the change when it’s mature, and we’re all different. It’s not triggered by anything except your own hormones or genetics. You wouldn’t want a bunch of little kids who were mad at their parents to shift into a wolf and attack them or run away. Their animal would be volatile and hard to control.”
“Austin, you do realize you’re dropping a bomb on me, don’t you? You’re not just telling me I’m a Shifter, but that I’m not even related to my family. I don’t believe this.”
He turned on his heel and leaned against the door. “Family isn’t blood—it’s who has your back.”
I chewed on my lip. The only way to know the truth was to talk to my mom. I’d know it if she was lying to me—she was a horrible liar and had a habit of doing dishes or cleaning if I asked her a question and she was untruthful. It’s how I knew that the separation between her and my dad wasn’t amicable. He’d left her, and that infuriated me almost as much as the fact he’d left his daughters behind.
“I’m going to take a shower and go to my mom’s house. Then we’ll see what’s what.”
“You need help?”
“Austin, I’ve been taking showers for twenty-seven years now. I think I got it.”
A full-bodied laugh filled the room
as he struggled to contain it. “I meant to talk to your mom.”
When I clenched my teeth, he took that as a no. My mom was going to be giving me a straightjacket for Christmas after this convo. A sinking feeling settled at the possibility they might not be my real family. I loved Maizy and my mom with all the fire in me. I’d die to protect them. When my dad left, I was around as much as possible to make sure my mom didn’t succumb to depression. We joined art classes, went shopping, and I spent a lot of time watching Maizy so she didn’t overwhelm my mom, who wasn’t exactly in her prime for motherhood.
I was the glue in my family.
* * *
I’d been stalling the conversation ever since arriving at my mom’s house. She sensed a serious talk coming and plopped Maizy in front of the TV with one of her favorite fairy princess movies. That was one little girl who had her heart set on marrying a prince.
The coffee burned against my upper lip and I blew off the steam, pensively watching my mother across the table.
She smiled and touched her hoop earring. “I remember when you made that cup. You were so proud of it and I thought it was the most hideous thing ever created.”
I snorted and admired my mug. It was a regular coffee cup, but we’d painted them ourselves. In kindergarten, my obsession with dragons began. While Maizy adores fairy tales and happy endings, I used to want to slay dragons. So, my half-assed attempt at painting a dragon on the mug ended up being the family joke for years. It curved around the mug and looked like a green anaconda with spider legs, throwing up mustard. I’d never seen a dragon, so in my defense, I wasn’t sure how many legs they had.
Apparently, seventeen was too many.
“Mom, I have something serious to ask you and I want the truth. I’m not even sure where to begin.”
“You know you can ask me anything,” she said in the way all moms do when they have no idea you’re about to drop the mother lode of bombs on them.
Maizy giggled in the other room and I scratched my neck nervously. “Am I adopted?”
“Now why would you ask a silly thing like that?” she said, rising from the table and turning on the faucet. She rinsed out her mug, then wiped it dry with a paper towel. “Would you like some pie with your coffee? I think I’m more in the mood for iced tea—it’s too hot today for coffee.”
“Mom, turn off the water and sit down. I don’t want pie or anything else.”
That’s when I knew Austin had told me the truth. Maybe not about being a Shifter, but now it was clear my life had been manufactured from a lie.
“I’m not going to get mad about it. I just want to know who I am and where I came from. You’ll always be my family, Mom. Please, don’t lie to me. Not now, not after everything we’ve been through.”
When she turned around, tears stained her cheeks. “I never wanted you to know. You were our baby and my little girl.”
I covered my eyes before she made me cry. I needed to keep my head straight. “Mom, please sit down.”
She quietly sniffed and took a seat, avoiding eye contact. I reached across the table and held her hand. “You’re my mom. You’ll always be my mom and nothing will change that. I promise. I just… I can’t believe this is true. How did I not know? I always thought I kind of looked like Dad, but…”
“Lexi, we never wanted you to grow up feeling separate from us—different. I was afraid that’s how kids felt in your situation, so we decided not to tell you.”
“What exactly was my situation? It’s not like you couldn’t have your own children. Why was I adopted?”
She pulled her hand away and laced her fingers together. “You weren’t.”
Just then, Maizy came bounding into the room. “Mommy! Can I please have some cookies?” She lifted her shoulder and tilted her head to the side in that innocent way kids do to turn on the charm. Few could say no to her adorable dimples.
“Just one, sweetheart. It’s almost dinner.”
Mazie skipped over to the bright yellow jar by the sink and pulled out a small chocolate-chip cookie. Seconds later, she went flying into the living room wearing her pink skirt and white shirt with all the sparkles. She was in princess mode.
I warmed my hands around my mug. “What do you mean, not adopted?”
Her voice lowered. “I don’t know where you came from. Your dad brought you home one night. He used to stay out late sometimes, and I convinced myself he was having an affair. But occasionally, he came home with—with blood on his clothes.” She pulled her hands in her lap and shook her head. “Not a lot, but spatters around the sleeves. I was afraid to ask what he was up to because he was a serious man—you know that. I don’t know what he was involved in, but we argued for weeks. All I could think about was your poor mother, worried to death about where you were. He assured me you had no mother, and that frightened me.”
“Why?”
She pulled the salt and pepper shakers to the middle of the table, lining them up neatly and never once lifting her eyes.
“I’m an adult now, and there’s no need to lie anymore. Whatever you’ve been carrying around for years, we can talk it out. Maybe it’ll help. But I can’t go on not knowing the truth. Everything.”
My heart galloped and I placed my hands on my lap to hide the fact they were shaking. Had Austin never come back into town, I would have gone on thinking my life was normal.
“The night he brought you home, there was blood on his clothes. Only this time, I found them in the trash instead of the wash, and they were just soaked in it.”
“You didn’t know what he was involved in?”
To my knowledge, my dad had worked for a shipping warehouse. He was a bossy guy, but otherwise, family life seemed as normal as it could be. He took Wes fishing in the summer and we had a barbecue every Sunday. I didn’t have a close relationship with my dad, and he was strict when it came to punishment, but this revelation came as an unexpected shock. I felt disenchanted with my life, knowing that nothing was as it seemed.
She shrugged and pulled my cup away. “Do you want something else, hon? Chocolate milk?”
God, my weakness. “Sure, Mom. That’d be great.”
The table sat in a room connected to the kitchen, but a partition wall with an opening in the center separated the two rooms. My mom put her favorite fern on it to add a sense of privacy. Light blue paint colored the top of the walls and wood panels covered the bottom. Outside the window on my left, the hummingbird feeder swung like a pendulum in the breeze. I’d never seen any hummingbirds, but Mom always kept it filled with bright red liquid.
I watched her through the divider as she stirred the chocolate into a tall glass. As calm as we were, I had a feeling I’d be in tears later on once everything sank in.
She set the glass down on the table and I took a sip, hoping the coffee wouldn’t complain. Mom eased into her chair and peered around the corner, listening for Maizy.
“When I first met your father, he was involved with some dangerous people. He used to work as a middleman, and I don’t know what exactly he did, only that it was illegal. He quit that life when he proposed, and I thought we were going to have a new start. I wouldn’t have to worry about something happening to him, or the police showing up. That’s not the kind of home I came from. He changed, or at least I thought he did. It started up again a year after Wes was born, when we were struggling financially. Suddenly, your dad paid off the bills and things were okay. How could I complain? Everything went back to normal until the night he brought you home. He was panicked that night and then for weeks, he barely slept.”
Tears threatened to slide down her lashes and she averted her blue eyes. “Only he knows the truth about where you came from, but I fell in love with you, Lexi. I had to buy you little gowns and booties since you were only wearing a onesie with Talulah stitched on the front. I always wanted a little girl. You were such a sweet little thing, didn’t cry much at all even though you must have known we were strangers.”
“Did you keep m
y clothes?”
Her voice fell to a whisper. “There was blood. I had to throw it out. Your dad somehow got a fake birth certificate; I just didn’t ask questions.”
I buried my face in my hands. “Did Wes know?”
“At first,” she said. “But he was a toddler and after a while, he forgot where you came from. We told him the stork brought you and in time, I guess he just didn’t remember. Your grandparents never knew because they were living in Seattle. We told them we had been keeping it a secret because the doctor warned us the pregnancy might not go to full term and then we said you were born premature. They didn’t come down to visit until you were five anyhow, and two years later, they moved down to San Antonio.”
I circled my finger on the smooth table. My mom had lost her parents when she was ten, and my dad’s parents never came around much—especially after he split. “Are Wes and Maizy yours, or—”
“Yes, they’re ours. Maizy is the spitting image of your great-grandma from the childhood pictures I’ve seen, and Wes looked just like Grandpa Knight. Oh, God,” she whispered, covering her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Mommy?”
Maizy wandered into the room and worry filled her blue eyes. Mom discreetly wiped a tear away from her smooth cheek and smiled. “Mommy has allergies. Do you need something, sweetie pie?”
My sister might be a child, but she knew something was wrong. Mom held out her arm and Maizy walked forward until Mom hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek. In fact, she started kissing Maizy all over her face and it switched on her gigglebox.
“Go in the other room, Maze,” I told her. “I’ll be in there in a minute and we can watch the best part together.” I knew which part was coming up because I could hear the song playing and practically had that movie memorized. Maizy skipped out of the room and I rubbed my eyes.
“I need to get a hold of Dad. Do you know where he is?”
She shook her head adamantly. “I have no idea, honey. A friend of mine even tried searching for him on the Internet. He just… disappeared.”
“Then I’m going to find a way to make him reappear, because he has the missing piece to my puzzle.”
