"It was a particularly harsh session for you today, so you will spend the rest of the day in your room. I will arrange for someone else to feed the prisoners."
I didn't answer. I couldn’t. My lips wouldn't move to form words.
"Someone will feed you. I need you strong for tomorrow's session."
He showed no reaction to my responding whimper. After laying me on the floor in my cell, he closed the door and, as usual, I was left in darkness. I was drifting in and out of sleep when the light came on, blinding me. What now?
"Auren, are you all right? What happened?"
"Makari?" I forced myself up and went clumsily into his arms, sobbing. "I was so worried about you. I didn't know what happened to you. I couldn’t feel you anymore, and I tried not to worry, but I lost focus." The words tumbled from my lips. "I was beaten, but it doesn't matter. You're okay."
"I'm so sorry, Auren. I hated leaving you that way. My father sent for me this morning. Apparently the delohi-saqu has been spotted on Appolia." He snorted. "I'm being sent away. I couldn't let our connection distract me around my father. I should have warned you. I'm so sorry."
I backed away. "What do you mean you're being sent away?"
"I'm being sent to Appolia to hunt for you." He rolled his eyes.
I noticed for the first time he was no longer dressed as a guide. He was in the uniform I'd seen him wear on the Dark Isle. It was a really dark gray so that from a distance it would look black. He wore no insignia or ribbons. He looked incredibly sexy, dressed in the uniform, which was an odd thought to have given the circumstances, but I couldn’t help it. It was a relief to be able to feel him again, though when I peeked into his mind, I discovered he was still keeping things from me.
"Something else happened," I said.
"I knew what my father planned for me, but hearing it was a wakeup call." His gaze grew distant, his jaw firmly set. "I overheard my father speaking to his advisers. He's planning to kill me once you’re captured. He won't get a chance."
My heart skipped a beat. "What are you going to do?"
"First I'm going to help you escape. I'm making the final arrangements, and it will happen tomorrow night. You need to prepare and tell Zain and Shai they should be ready as well."
I nodded, which only made my head spin. I knew it would happen soon, but it felt too soon; especially after what I'd been through that day. I wasn’t sure I was ready, but then things weren't going to improve, so if I didn't escape now it might never happen. "What do I have to do?"
He explained his plan. "Be careful, though, Auren. I won't be here to help you."
"You be careful too."
I pressed my lips to his and lost myself in him for the moment. Too soon he would leave me again.
Chapter 4
I was still sore the following morning, but I did my best to hide my discomfort in case my guide decided I was unfit to feed my father and Shai again. I needed to speak with them. As normal he didn't speak as we walked, which was fine by me. I really had no interest in talking to him. I missed spending this time with Makari, but at least it would be my last cleansing session. After tonight I would be free again, and I would have my father, as Kado would have his own daughter back.
Shai was looking bruised again, since Makari had missed the healing session, but at least she wasn’t too injured to carry out our escape plan. When the guide left me alone I explained everything to her as she ate in silence, taking everything in. I didn't have long.
"It's happening tonight. Makari has fixed the security system so it will fail at midnight. The doors to the rooms are tied to the system, so the locks will fail as well. Wait for me to come for you, and we’ll escape through the emergency exit at the end of the corridor. From there is a stairwell that leads to an alleyway. Makari said he will give me directions once we get there."
"He won't be with us?" she asked.
"He can't. It's a long story. I'll explain later, but he's been called away."
"That explains why I didn't see him yesterday. Okay, I'll be ready."
We didn't speak further, knowing it would be long before the guide returned.
*****
I started explaining the plan to my father, but he cut me off.
"I won't be going with you, Auren."
"What do you mean?"
"Despite having more strength than I allow the Galvadi to believe, I am in no condition to travel long distances. It was never my intention to leave with you. I’ll only slow you down."
I shook my head, scattering the tears that streamed down my face. "I'm not leaving you here."
"No, I won't be staying here. I want you to help me to the shadow world."
"Kill you? No, I can't—" I covered my mouth to stifle my sobs. If I hadn’t already been sitting I would have collapsed.
Zain gripped my shoulders. "Calm yourself, Auren. It's the best way. I will be in the shadow world and our people can have a Foramar again."
"You're their Foramar. I need to get you out of here." My voice was a whisper. I’m not sure how I managed to speak at all through my choked sobs.
He shook his head. "It's time for Kado to take up the responsibility, Auren. I can no longer lead our people."
"I can't kill you."
"I don't expect you to. I simply need you to bring me something so I can do it myself. You don't even need to be here."
I shook my head, but my father stopped the motion with a hand on either side of my face. Gulping in air, I buried my face in his chest. My anguish threatened to overwhelm me and if I cried out, the guide would hear.
"You have to do this, Auren. There is no time to argue," he scolded. "The guide will return shortly, and I need to know if you’ll help me. Either way, I will not be joining you. You can help me escape through death, or you can leave me here to suffer until I die of natural causes. It's your choice."
It felt as though my heart was being ripped from my chest. "I just found you."
"We will meet again in the shadow world, Auren. You are not losing me. I will still be there to guide you when you need me."
This was it. I knew I couldn’t change his mind. The thought of being responsible for his death was too much to bear. Killing Shai would be hard. This was next to impossible, yet, I couldn't leave him here to suffer so what other choice did I have? There was no other choice but to help him.
"Okay," I said wrapping my arms around him. "I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, Auren. Be sure to contact Kado and tell him you need help getting off the island. He’ll arrange it for you."
"I will." I took a deep breath in a vain effort to collect myself before the guide came back.
*****
When the guide did return for me, it was difficult to keep my emotions in check. I wanted more time with my father. I wanted to be able to say goodbye properly. I kept my head bowed so he wouldn't see my red eyes and tear streaked face. Thankfully, it was the kind of behavior expected of the people here. He might even assume I was finally starting to accept my place.
I wasn't looking forward to my session that day. I couldn't allow myself to lose focus again or the whole plan would fall apart. The other two guides were present in the room, and I was strapped to the table. It was only by focusing on the escape plan that I was able to lose myself in the shadow world. It gave me hope and a distraction from the pain. In fact, having something to focus on allowed me to forget about the world around me. At least for a little while.
I went over the plan in my head, imagining everything that could go wrong, and how I might counter it. I even reviewed some of the defensive techniques Kado had taught me. I couldn't practice them physically, but the visualization helped to refresh the moves in my mind. While traveling through the city, we'd have to stick to the shadows as much as possible, which would be easy as long as the alleyways weren't lit. I hadn't seen the city at all, so I wasn't sure of the layout. Kado had mentioned the cities in this area were old, with buildings that were very close together.
It meant we might even be able to escape across the rooftops if Shai was up to the task. It was a decision we could make when we had a better idea of what we were facing.
The hardest part would be getting out of the city. Once we reached the forests, we would be home free, thanks to everything Kado had taught me. A year ago, I never would have imagined myself being grateful for the training and wishing I had applied myself more. Of course, a year ago I didn't know I'd be hunted by a power-hungry tyrant bent on killing me either. Sometimes I wondered how differently things would have turned out if Kado had kept me hidden and trained me all my life in secret. I'd probably be an antisocial recluse, but I probably wouldn't be a prisoner either. Then again, I'd have never met Deakan or Jade, and I wouldn't trade those friendships, not even for my freedom.
I was surprised when the session ended. Luckily, the guide assumed I had zoned out when I didn’t respond immediately. I allowed myself to slip back to reality, careful not to wince as the residual pain overwhelmed me, and blinked at him.
"You did very well this session, Auren. It shouldn't be long now before you are free of the delohi-saqu forever."
I stared at him blankly. This would be my last session, and I'd be free of the Galvadi, maybe not forever, but at least until I could finish my training.
He helped me to my feet and led me back to my cell. It was time to set the plan in motion. I had a part to play for us to escape safely. I had to contact Kado.
Chapter 5
Kado was not difficult to find, but getting his attention was another story entirely. He was distracted by something. It was too dark to see where he was, but it was clear he was no longer on the Dark Isle. In fact, it looked similar to the cave where I met up with Deakan on Appolia. I was about to step through the veil to get his attention the old-fashioned way when he turned towards me. He was there with me in seconds.
You shouldn't be contacting me this way, Auren. It's too dangerous for you.
I had to squash down the urge to just shift to where he was. I wanted to throw myself into his arms but, if I did, he would never let me return for Shai or to help my father. I need your help. Makari has arranged an escape for me and Shai. She can't access the shadow world, so he's found another way.
Makari?
It's a long story, but he knows I'm not the delohi-saqu. At least not the version his father dreamt up, and he's helping me now.
What about your father?
He wants me to help him commit suicide. Kado, I'm not sure I can. I didn't know if it was possible to hyperventilate in the shadow world, but I felt close to doing so.
If it's what he wants, you need to trust him, Auren.
He seemed almost relaxed over the thought of my father's death, but I wondered if he'd feel the same about his daughter. My father also said if something happens, and I need to escape through the shadow world, I should kill Shai so she can't be recaptured.
It pains me to say it, Auren, but he is right. Your safety is what matters here, and Shai would understand that. I would rather she joined her mother in the shadow world than have her spend months, or years, being tortured.
I hesitated. It wasn't the response I expected. It's not fair I have to kill allies when it's the enemy who deserves it.
I know it’s hard for you to accept, but you need to do as he says. I will help you cope with the pain when you return. For now, you need to stay focused, so you can get out of there safely. Death isn't an end for shadow stalkers, or for any person in truth. Don't concern yourself over freeing one of our people by helping them into the shadow world. Focus on your escape. We will discuss everything else later.
It wouldn't be easy to look at it that way, but he was right. I didn't have time to worry about every little thing. I'd have to deal with it when the time came. Shai and I will need a way off of Nadiria, once we escape the reconciliation center.
I've already made that assumption, and I will arrange it. Meet me on the southern shore in two days. I will find you. And don't leave the city from that direction. Go east or south and circle around. They will expect you to go north so avoid that as well. And, Auren, be sure to erase your tracks as you go.
I already knew I'd have to do that, but I didn't say so. I will. I miss you Kado.
I miss you too, and I will see you soon. Be careful. I want you back in once piece.
I was about to respond, but he was already gone.
*****
The talk with Kado made me realize just how much I missed him, how much I still needed him. It gave me the push I needed—motivated me to take action. The fact that I hadn’t been severely punished during the afternoon session helped. It meant I was able to deliver food to my father, giving me one final chance to say goodbye. I could barely think about Zain taking his own life, and yet I had no choice. Not if he was trusting me to deliver the item he needed.
It had to be something that delivered a painless death. My father had suffered enough. I refused to entertain the notion that he would spend his last moment in pain, or worse, that it would be a gruesome death. Knives were out of the question. Medication might work, especially sleeping pills. My father would drift into a deep sleep before he passed over to the shadow world. But it wouldn’t be easy to gain access to medication if the center had any conventional drugs at all. It took me longer than it should to realize I could go anywhere I wanted. I could even return to our home on Appolia again. Kado was bound to have stashed a few pills away.
I re-entered the shadow world and was in the house within moments. There was a chance soldiers were still guarding the house so, as it was still daytime, I moved around cautiously—crouching low whenever I neared a window. I didn't have to go far to the bathroom where Kado kept the medicine. And it didn't take long to discover the trip had been a waste of time. There was a selection of medicines in the cabinet; pain tablets and ointments, but nothing I was willing to give my father. I closed the cabinet, my hand flinching instinctively when I heard something crash to the ground from the other room.
"Be careful, you idiot. We're not supposed to be in here." Came a whiny male voice. "The Captain said no raiding, and if we're caught he'll slit our throats."
"Stop being over dramatic. The worst that could happen is we'd be whipped."
"Like that's much better?"
"Shut up. I think I heard something."
I held my breath, my heart pounding at the thought of being captured. It took a few seconds to regain control of the panic so I could re-enter the shadow world. Calmer, now that I was safe, I remembered the pharmacy nearby. If luck was on my side the place would be empty. It would certainly have everything I needed. The place was quiet when I entered the room dark. I searched the isles until I found the sleeping tablets and slipped from the shadow world.
As I snatched a bottle from the shelf I heard the distinct rattle of pills against the container. On impulse, I began to open others; gathering the cotton and slipping it inside my bottle to mask the sound. That done, I found a cloth jewelry bag and some pins, so I could pin it to the inside of my pants. I tried not to think about what would happen if the bottle fell to the ground while I was walking.
My last thought, as I slipped back into the shadow world, was of my guide. Based on the position of the sun I could just make out, it was close to dinner time. The last thing I needed was for my guide to arrive and find me missing.
Chapter 6
I made it back just in time. The door opened with less than a minute to spare; talk about a close call. The guide took me to the kitchen to collect the food for my father and Shai.
The nerves were dancing in my stomach, so I didn’t say anything to Shai, apart from a whisper. "Everything is in place."
I didn't have the heart to tell her what my father was planning. I would break if I did. The weight of the sleeping pills against my leg made it all too real. I was barely holding it together.
My father, on the other hand, looked more alive than I had ever seen him. His hopeful expression lessened my grow
ing guilt though it didn’t ease the pain I felt deep in my heart.
I handed him his bowl of food then unfastened the bag with the bottle. "They're sleeping pills," I explained. "I wanted to make sure you wouldn't suffer." My voice choked on the last word.
My father pulled me into his arms. "Auren, please know that you have given me the tools to end my suffering. I have longed to rejoin your mother in the shadow world, and because of your bravery we will soon be together again. I am so proud of you. You must let go of your guilt."
"I can't help it," I sobbed.
He made a soothing sound. "Because you still see death as an end. For a shadow stalker, it is a beginning. When our bodies die we join the shadow people, and we in turn become eternal guides for our people. You are not helping me end my life, my dear, sweet daughter. You are helping me transition into my new one."
It was true that I had spoken to my mother in the shadow world. "Will I see you again?"
"Yes. In the shadow world. I will always be there when you need me."
"It won't be the same." I wouldn't be able to feel his arms around me.
"No, but sometimes it's better."
I kissed his cheek and sat back so he could eat his last meal. He didn't seem interested in the food, but returning a full bowl to the guide was not an option. He would grow suspicious.
"I love you, dad," I whispered as the door opened. It was a risk, but I needed to say it.
He smiled and squeezed my hand as I took the bowl from him. I smiled too. I wanted it to be the last thing he saw rather than the pain I felt in my heart. If the guide thought it odd when I choked back a sob, he didn't say anything.
*****
I somehow managed to keep the tears at bay until I was returned to my cell later that evening. There was nothing else to do except wait and worry. I let the sorrow come, hoping that if I got it out of my system it wouldn’t distract me later. That was the theory anyway.
Shadow Stalker Part 2 (Episodes 7 - 12) Page 13
