His heart crumpled as he thought about saying the words out loud. How would he tell her? How could he walk away? He knew who would be waiting to help her heal, and that would be that. He’d be out of her life like yesterday’s news, and her ex would slip right back into her arms. The wave of nausea at the thought of Sam with her ex was too much to handle. Gripping his side, he unlocked his door and went inside.
He wasn’t ready to tell her, and yet not telling her wasn’t fair either. He wanted to sleep with her again, feel her in his arms. He wanted to snuggle in next to Samantha and smell her shampoo, rake his fingers through her hair, and whisper sweet nothings to her.
Christopher dropped down onto his sofa. His slumped shoulders fell, unable to hold the weight of the world. He didn’t want to go, not without her. And yet, he couldn’t ask her to promise forever, or walk away from her clientele because he got a better job offer. Besides, there was no way to tell if this would fizzle out in a few months. It would be hard to walk away, but it was the only option at this point.
He wouldn’t ask her to do a long distance thing, because let’s be honest, their worlds would be in different cities, different states, and this was all too new to make that kind of commitment, or ask somebody else to.
A deep sigh, and with his head thrown back against the sofa cushion, he came to accept what had to be done, and the sooner the better. It would kill him, but there was no use putting it off. Once he accepted the position in Atlanta, things would move quickly.
Chris closed his eyes, willing a tear not to fall. It’s like he wasn’t meant to be happy. When he started to get comfortable with Rita, she left him for his sister. Now that he was happy with Sam, he was being yanked away. He wanted to hold on tightly, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
Clawing at his thighs, he dug his fingers into his flesh, with only the material of his slacks saving him from breaking skin. It was enough to stop the tears before they fell. His legs ached after the deep scratching, but at least there would be no crying. Get it together man, it’s just a girl, and it hasn’t even been that long.
Standing, he took a big, long stretch. No reason to put off the inevitable. As hard as it would be, he needed to just get it over with.
One last deep breath, and he went to Samantha’s door. Only when she opened it, his resolve weakened. Taking her in his arms, he pulled her into an embrace. It was her smile, and the way she looked at him when she opened the door, obvious joy. He had to taste her sweet lips, feel her body against him one more time. He’d tell her tomorrow, but tonight was for him.
He knew it was selfish, but it was all he’d have left, the memories. A small voice spoke from within, knowing it wasn’t right. It would only cement those feelings more. He went into the night knowing what he’d be telling her in the morning, but she was blind to what was about to happen.
Her lips tasted like a sweet wine, and as he drank from her fountain, his lust grew stronger. He ached to be inside of her, and as she gave him a smile and led him to the bedroom, he pulled his hand free. As much as he wanted her, he had to tell her the truth. If he cared at all, and he did, it wouldn’t be fair to hide the news, knowing they’d be parting ways.
“Sam, I need to talk to you.”
“Sure, babe, whatever you want.”
“Can we sit down?”
“Uh oh, you look serious.” Her insides twitched as she suspected the worst. His voice told her it wasn’t good news. Fidgeting with her hands, she looped a ringlet around a finger and pulled at it gently before letting go. “You want to see other people, don’t you?”
He looked down.
“I knew it.” She snapped. “Why? Because you got what you wanted? You fucked your neighbor, and now you want out?” Her heart was breaking.
“Sam, don’t. It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“Then what the hell is it?” Her tone ripped into him like shards of metal filings. Her walls were coming up. Hurt him before he hurts me. “That’s fine, it’s not like it meant anything. A good time, but that’s about it...” She bit her cheek to stop herself from crying.
“Sam, sit down.”
“Why? What does it matter? I’d rather pace, thank you very much.” Short, snappy, fast comments came out. “Just spit it out.”
“I got a promotion...in Atlanta. I have to relocate.”
“What?” She wasn’t expecting that. She dropped beside him on the sofa. “You’re leaving?”
“And what happened between us, it meant something to me. I haven’t been this happy in ages.” Chris let his head fall into his hands. “I’m sorry. I can’t turn this down. It’s a step in the right direction, a raise, a new title. It’s what I’m working toward in my career.”
“Right.” She sat looking at him. How could she not understand? He had to think of his career, and they’d only just started dating. Only, she wasn’t ready for him to go, wasn’t ready for him to move away, and wasn’t ready to lose him.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
She shrugged. “I’m not sure what to say. I mean, I’m happy to hear you got a promotion, but I’m not thrilled it will take you so far away.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I put in for the position before we got together.”
She nodded and stared ahead.
Christopher put his hand on her thigh and sat quietly with her. Neither had anything left to say.
“When do you leave?” Sam eventually got the question out.
“I’ve got two weeks to wrap up things here. I’m expected to start on the first of the month. My company will handle my lease and help me find a place there.”
“Two weeks?”
He glanced down at the floor, unable to look into Sam’s eyes. “Yeah.”
“Wow.”
“I don’t know what to say to make it better.”
“There’s nothing to say. It’s understandable. Your career has to come first, and we don’t even know where this is going. I guess I know where I hoped it was going, but that doesn’t matter now. My heart is breaking,” she admitted quietly.
“I’d ask you to come with me, but that’s not fair either.”
“My business is here, and what if this fizzles out?”
“That was my thought, too. I can’t ask you to pick up and leave, when we’ve only just begun.”
Sam reached down and squeezed Christopher’s hand.
He sighed. “I should probably go. I have things to start packing.”
“Right.”
She waited until he left before the tears fell. It felt so good in his arms, their bodies fit perfectly together. She wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed with him, to hold him tightly and beg him to stay. Only that’s not how life works. Maybe that’s how movies work, but this was real life. He’d be gone in two weeks, and her life would move on without him.
Christopher went back to his apartment, his heart shattered like glass. Leaving was going to be harder than he thought. Everything inside of him wanted to say screw the job, he’d stay here, but for what? A promise of ‘maybe?’ Maybe things would work out, and they’d fall in love and live happily ever after? Or maybe, when a few months passed and sex was no longer new to them, they’d grow bored of one another and realize they had nothing in common. Because let’s face it, they were night and day. It was probably for the best.
Maybe Atlanta would be a welcome surprise. Maybe his true future was waiting for him there. Either way, it didn’t really matter. He knew he’d take the job. He knew it was the right thing to do. It was time to think with his head. His heart would heal in time.
Chapter 14
“What? He’s leaving?” Becky was thrown.
“Yeah, he’s getting relocated for work.”
“He could say no,” she started.
“Really? Would that be fair? Ask him to turn down a promotion, a raise, and advancing his career for some chick he’s just getting to know?”
“I’m sorry, Sammy. I know you reall
y liked this guy.”
“I don’t even know what to do. Like, are we broken up and over? Do I be a friend and lend a sympathetic ear, even though it would kill me?”
“Just do what feels right.”
“What feels right is climbing into bed with him and feeling his body next to mine.”
It was hard to hear Sam sad. She was such a happy, perky girl who exuded joy, but to hear her now, Becky knew Samantha was crushed. “Do you want to come over and hang out? I could open a bottle of wine.”
“Nah, I’m going to stay in, but thanks. In fact, I don’t really feel like talking anymore. I’m going to just curl up in bed for a while.”
“Aw sweetie, I’m so sorry.”
Usually talking to Becky and sharing a bottle of wine would have been just what the doctor ordered, but not tonight. The sting was too fresh. When he left, she sat stunned. Only hours before she’d been gloriously happy and certain this could become a life changing relationship. Now, it wasn’t even a relationship.
Watching him walk out the door just about killed her. But what else could she do? It would be selfish to ask him to stay. And for what, to only get more attached if they climbed back into bed together for one more romp? Everything felt still within her. Climbing into bed, she drew the covers up over herself and cried into her pillow.
After tossing and turning at least eighty times, Sam crawled out of bed. Dragging herself into the hallway, she banged at his door. “Christopher, are you home?”
When he answered the door, he didn’t expect to see Sam looking like a thrown out teddy bear. Her hair was all messed up, her make-up smeared, and the distant look in her eyes told him she wasn’t taking the news well. It was his fault; he was the one that delivered the blow.
“I don’t want you to go,” she said, throwing herself into his arms. The sobs came fast and hard, and as he wrapped his arms around her, he gently stroked her hair.
There was nothing to say. They both knew he was leaving. He owed her this moment. She needed her closure. They’d just gotten to the point where they knew something special was growing between them. Why now? Why couldn’t the offer have come through before this?
They stood in his doorway, Christopher holding Sam as she cried. She apologized for heaving into his chest, but refused to let go while getting the last of her tears out.
“Are you going to be okay?” His heart was breaking.
“I’m going to have to be.”
“Do you want to come in?”
“Can I?”
“Of course.”
They sat quietly on the sofa, looking at one another. Sam leaned into him, as natural as could be. No words were spoken. There was nothing left to say.
Christopher’s hand rested on Samantha’s arm. Her head was pressed to his chest. It was more of a soothing gesture, a slow, gentle stroke of his fingers, just barely grazing her skin. He didn’t intend for it to turn into something more, but having her so close, their hearts beating together, their breathing in sync... he wanted more. It was selfish. They were over. There was no ‘one last time’. To even want it felt wrong. It would only string out the inevitable.
But when she lifted her head to look at him, seeing the depth in her eyes, he knew. Christopher closed his eyes and brushed his lips tenderly against Sam’s. The sweet, soft kiss turned hungrier. His fingers grasped at her face, pulling her closer. Sam shifted, straddling onto his lap.
Each kiss grew more passionate, aching with desperation. He longed to touch her again, to feel her curves against his body. He wanted to taste her, tease her, tempt her, bring her to a delicious orgasm and feel her body quiver with pleasure. He wanted to feel her warm insides, penetrate her, and watch her breasts sway with every movement.
“We shouldn’t do this,” he murmured.
“I want this, need this,” she emphasized. “Please,” she whispered, just barely audible.
He nodded. He needed it just as much as she did.
Christopher’s hands slid under Samantha’s shirt. His touch set off currents of electricity through her. Every single hair on her body stood on edge, and the tingle that spread between her legs echoed her desire.
“One last time,” he whispered.
She nodded in agreement. Sam reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up over her head. Sitting on his lap, her breasts pushing out of her black bra, Christopher exhaled deeply with a whistle. He had to control himself. He didn’t want to rush this, but the site of her soft, roundness made him hard almost instantly.
He loved that she didn’t let her full figure break her confidence. She didn’t try to hide the fact that she carried extra weight, but rather seemed comfortable in the moment as they shared intimacy. There was nothing sexier than a confident woman.
Christopher helped Sam remove her bra. Seeing her bare-breasted before him, the erection in his pants ached to be free. Not yet. He wanted to go slowly, to remember every last detail about this girl. He wanted to etch her into his brain, memorize every curve, so that he could pull the memory back on demand for those moments when he was alone.
A vault of images, Samantha sitting on his lap, Samantha’s full breasts, her round hips, her sweet lips so kissable, and her gorgeous hair that framed her face like an angel. He wanted to remember it all.
Christopher’s fingers moved up through her hair as his arms pressed against her back, pressing her chest to him. He burrowed his face in her neck, wanting to seal the memory of her fragrant scent. Nuzzling the curve between her shoulder and neck, his lips moved lower, following the natural curves that led him to her plump, round breasts.
Her skin was warm, just slightly salty, and each kiss, each lick made him more desperate to get inside of her, but no, that wouldn’t do. He needed to move slowly. He had to remind himself over and over again. His body wanted it fast and hard, but his mind needed it to linger. Slow, erotic, sensual and loving...the moment demanded it. Their last time should speak the words he’d never be able to say now, that he was falling in love with her.
Each kiss, each taste of her body, knowing it would be the last, was more painful than anything he’d ever experienced, and yet more pleasurable than he could have known. The push and pull of his feelings overwhelmed him.
“Sam, I don’t know if I can do this.” His words were broken as he choked back tears. He didn’t want her to know, to see his truth.
“Just one more time. Don’t stop now.”
He nodded. “Let’s go in the other room.”
Sam followed him to the bedroom. How would she ever let go? She knew this was a mistake to go to bed with him, but maybe through her actions, she could speak the words she couldn’t say out loud – that she was falling in love with him. The moments they shared only solidified what each of them knew to be true. There was something there, something real. It didn’t change the fact was that he was moving away.
Curling up beside him, nuzzling in the nook of Christopher’s arm and chest, Sam held on tightly, her arm splayed across him. It felt so right, and yet it was all an illusion now. He’d be leaving shortly. She’d have to tear herself away, knowing it was over.
He held her silently, not sure what to say. There were no words that would change what was happening. They were too new into this relationship to promise life commitments. They were both involved in building their careers – only her clients were here, whereas his future wasn’t.
Their bodies came together as one until they fell into a sweet exhaustion.
Closing her eyes, Sam fell into a cat nap. Chris smiled. She looked like an angel when she slept. And then suddenly she didn’t. It was as if a freight train came crashing into his bedroom. The snoring that came out of that girl was unlike anything he’d heard before. He didn’t know whether to laugh or be horrified. He gently nudged her, trying to stop the noise, only it didn’t help. She murmured something, and then turned over. The noise came again, loud and obnoxious. His chest started to bounce as a covert laugh snuck out.
“What? Where?” Sam looked around, the jostling waking her.
“I’m sorry. My fault.” Chris tried to stop chuckling.
“What’s going on?”
Should he tell her? She has to know, right? It was probably better just to leave her some dignity. She didn’t need to hear from him that she sounded like a grizzly bear, snoring so loud it almost vibrated the lamp on his nightstand. “Nothing important,” he reassured. Only, he couldn’t stop laughing. “You snore so loud.” His laughter was more teasing than hurtful.
“I do not snore!”
“Oh, yes, you do. Boy howdy, do you snore!”
“Well, what happens when I’m sleeping and unaware is beyond my control. Was it loud?”
“Nah, it was cute.” He could at least soften the blow.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too.”
Sam gradually forced herself to let go and sat up in bed. She looked at him, unable to say anything else. Slowly redressing, she turned to him. “Thanks for reminding me not to settle. I now know what I want and need in a relationship. You’ve made me feel special.”
He let a small smile spread across his lips. “You are special. Don’t ever settle.”
She nodded, and then left. There was nothing left to say.
Chapter 15
“Do you think sleeping with him one last time was smart?” Becky asked.
“I don’t need a mother right now, okay?”
“Fine. I’m just worried about you. Are you going to bring a sweater? It’s chilly out.”
Sam shook her head in exasperation. “Oh my gosh, stop mothering me! I’m not a child.”
“What? You never bring one, and then you get cold.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Do you want to bring one just in case, maybe leave it in the car?”
“Becks, so help me god, you’d better be pregnant, because you, my friend, need somebody to mother.”
Crazy About Curves: 10 Luscious Reads Page 33
