“Yeah, right. You’re just saying it to make me feel better.” She shot back. “You probably can’t wait to get out of here.”
“That’s not true. Seriously Sam, you’re charming, sweet, and fun. You’re full of life and charisma. Being around you makes me feel alive. Don’t you dare feel like a fool or less of a person, because I think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and it’s killing me to have to leave.”
She didn’t know what to say. Choking up, she was stunned by his genuine demeanor. He meant it. Leaning against him, there were no words to say. The comfort of his arm over her shoulders was enough. Why did the one man that made her feel worthy have to up and leave?
“Chris,” she whispered, “thank you.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead.
Chapter 17
Moving day was inevitable, and when it came, Sam was heartbroken. Today was the day, the very last time they’d be neighbors. Her stomach knotted and sadness sat on her shoulders. She couldn’t hide her bloodshot eyes or the puffiness beneath them after crying all morning.
Chris knocked at the door to say good-bye, and her heart broke just a little bit more. With slumped shoulders, she looked up at him. Her lip quivered and her words were choked. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.” He couldn’t hide the depression in his voice. It should be an exciting time in his life. A young man with a good future, a better position at work, and a new city to explore, and yet it didn’t feel exciting without Sam by his side.
Sam sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve. “Call me and let me know you made it safely.”
His face fell flat, and with a distant stare, he nodded. This wasn’t how he thought it would be when he applied for this job. He’d already accepted the position, and he knew full well that time would heal his pain, but right now it was excruciating to walk away.
Sam pulled her arms across her chest, crossing them. She didn’t know what to say. Anything she’d say at this point would only make it harder on both of them. Looking at him, she saw a future, and yet as he drove away, it would fade into non-existence.
His posture was stooped, his eyes dull. It’s like the weight of the world pushed him down. How could he leave the only person that had ever made him feel so alive? This was silly. How could he have such strong feelings so soon? He needed to just let go, get over it, and move on with his life. He had a job waiting for him in Atlanta. Standing at Samantha’s door all day wouldn’t do him any favors.
“Will you ride the elevator with me one last time?” Christopher’s voice was broken, but he wanted to do this one more time. Why not finish this how they started? Maybe it would offer the closure he needed.
Sam nodded. She could barely lift her feet, and shuffled with a heavy footed walk to the elevator. It’s like her feet were filled with lead, cement blocks making each step more awkward than the next.
Pushing the button, they stood in silence. Christopher reached for her hand, needing to hold it one last time. Her fingers folded into his hand, their bonded chain speaking what they couldn’t say with words.
As the doors opened, they stepped inside. One last ride. One last moment. It took everything inside of him to push the lobby button, and as the elevator doors closed, he knew this was the end.
“Can’t you stay?” She couldn’t help herself. Sam knew it was the wrong thing to say, but the overwhelming urge pushed the words out.
He didn’t answer, simply looked to the floor.
“I know. You don’t have to say anything. I understand. I’ll be okay.” She wasn’t sure if she was trying to reassure Chris or herself.
He quietly squeezed her hand.
“One last kiss?” Samantha knew it was a mistake to ask. It would only hurt more when their lips parted, but the thought of him walking out of her life now...she wasn’t thinking clearly.
Chris took a deep breath and pushed the emergency stop button. For a moment in time, he wasn’t aware of the tight space, he wasn’t aware of anything but Samantha in front of him. Pulling her into an embrace, he held her tightly.
He rested his cheek against her head, and then looked into her eyes. The gaze between them was long and heavy, two lovers being pulled apart against their will. Chris backed up the slightest bit, so he could lift his hands to Sam’s face. Cupping her round cheeks and jawline in his hands, he leaned in and gently brushed his lips to hers, a kiss that was delicate and soft, and offered love.
Raking a hand through her curls, he gripped the back of her head with a firmer grip and pulled her in. It wasn’t about want anymore, it was a need. He needed to taste her, be with her one more time.
Hungry mouths beckoned, and as their kisses grew more heated, hands began to roam. As the elevator started to move again, Chris slammed his hand onto the emergency stop button. They weren’t going anywhere, not until he was ready. He wanted her both here and now.
Sam was tearing at her shirt, trying to get it off, as Chris ripped his over his head. Their bodies melted together, warm skin pressed together. Pushing her bra up over her breasts, he moved his mouth down her body, needing to wrap his lips around her breast one more time.
Sam’s fingers gripped at Christopher’s head as he suckled a nipple. She needed this, needed him, and desperately wanted him to continue.
The elevator started to move again. Sam slammed her hand onto the emergency stop button, stopping the elevator once again. Whoever was pushing the button out there would get the hint eventually. The elevator wasn’t coming, but with any luck she would be.
Heated moans filled the elevator cube, as they tugged at their pants. Chris quickly shifted his belt and unzipped his jeans. Sam pushed her sweatpants down to her ankles, kicking them off along with her shoes.
Chris wrapped his hands around her bottom, pulling her mostly naked body to him. Slipping his fingers under the elastic of her panties, he yanked them down, leaving her exposed and ready for him.
Shifting down, they managed to awkwardly do what they needed, and with his hands under her bottom, he lifted her onto him. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she groaned at feeling him penetrate her fully.
Grunting, heavy breathing, and thrusting left them both exhausted after the orgasm rolled through them. Collapsing onto the elevator floor, satiated from their lust, he held her close. They didn’t have much time, but he needed to hold her. His arm shot up and hit the emergency stop button again as the elevator shifted.
They knew time was limited. One last sweet kiss, and then they quickly stood and dressed.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” she sobbed. “I love you.” The words slipped out. She didn’t mean to, but there was no taking them back. She didn’t care; it was true, she did love him. So be it, now he knows.
Chris closed his eyes. Those words meant so much, but to say them back would only cause more pain. Better for her to get over him than to know he loved her too. “It will be okay. Time heals a lot.”
Finally dressed, he pushed the up button to deposit her back at her door. He’d ride the elevator alone the final time. It was better this way.
“Good bye, sweet one,” he whispered as he brushed his lips gently against hers.
Sam couldn’t control her sobs, heavy and long. “Don’t go. Please stay.”
“I can’t, sweetheart.” A kiss to the top of her head, and then he was gone.
Sam’s entire body shook as she watched the elevator doors close behind him. Drained from the experience of losing him, she went back into her apartment and dropped onto her sofa.
A heavy sigh escaped from her lips as she thought about the future. It wasn’t what she was expecting. She finally had hope, thought maybe they were going somewhere. It felt right, he was special, and now she was back to square one. No, that’s a lie. She wasn’t even at square one. It would take weeks to get over the pain.
Maybe if she curled up and slept, her mind would escape this misery. Her plan was to sleep all day, and bury herself in one too many drinks
tonight. Her chest felt hollow. There was nothing left. Curling tighter into a ball, she wrapped her arms around her knees and cried into the throw pillow on her sofa.
Quiet sobs were muted by the fabric and cushioning, and finally after what felt like forever, she closed her eyes and napped. On waking, she didn’t feel any better, but it was done. He’d left. Nothing she could do would change that.
Sam padded into the bathroom and washed her face. Mascara had streamed down her face, leaving lines and traces all over. She was certain her throw pillow would need to go through the wash if this much had stained her cheeks.
Her eyes were red. Pulling her hair back into a band, she tied it into a loose ponytail and made her way back to the sofa. Normally she’d grab a pint of whatever she had in the freezer, but she had no appetite. She’d eat later.
Winnie was coming over in the evening to take her out. She knew today would be hard, so she had every intention of getting wasted. Winnie volunteered to be her designated driver, knowing Sam would want to drown her sorrows.
Sam dropped back on the sofa and pulled at the throw pillow, squeezing it like a teddy bear. Pulling it to her chest, she held on tight, almost afraid to let go. Closing her eyes, she played back their moments earlier in the elevator, and then the words she let slip out. He didn’t say it back. He didn’t say he loved her too, but she knew. She knew he did. He just didn’t know how to say it.
Chapter 18
When Winnie showed up, Sam had barely moved all day. There was a chip bag, an empty bottle of water, a diet soda can, and a crumpled up paper plate. At least she’d eaten something, because if she was going to be drinking all night, she didn’t want to do it on an empty stomach.
“Look at you,” Winnie sympathized. “You can’t go out like that. You look like shit.”
“Thanks.”
“You know what I mean. Go get cleaned up. I’ll wait.” She picked up Sam’s remote, and started to flip through the channels. “I’ll take care of this mess, and you go get a shower.”
Sam nodded and forced herself to the bathroom for a shower.
Winnie gathered the things from the coffee table and brought them to the kitchen. This was bad. She couldn’t remember seeing Sam like this before. The girl had it bad for him, and it was obvious.
Pulling a soda out of the fridge, she plopped onto the sofa and flipped through more channels while Sam put herself together.
They were heading out to the bar, a night for girl talk and laughter. Becky was going to go too, but she was having a rough bout of morning sickness and opted to stay home. Unfortunately, her morning sickness wasn’t just relegated to the morning.
Sam turned the water off, and wrapped her wet hair in a towel. Grabbing a second towel, she dried her body...the same body that Chris had made love to earlier. Closing her eyes, she remembered how he slid his hands under her bottom and lifted her onto him. It was erotic and naughty, and felt oh so good, but none of that mattered now. He was gone.
Sam sighed heavily, and padded to her room. Wrapping in a terry robe, she went out to see Winnie. “Maybe tonight was a bad idea. I’m in no mood to go out.”
“I’ll have none of it. If you stay home, you’ll just cry and burrow yourself in misery. Go get dressed and get ready.” She’d settled on a game show from years back, but muted it while she spoke with Sam.
Another deep sigh, and she padded back to her room. Climbing onto her bed, she curled up, pulling her knees to her. She’d get ready soon, but the emotional drain of the day was exhausting.
When the knock came at her door, Sam turned. “Hey.”
“Honey, listen. You can’t sulk all night long. I know it hurts, but getting out will help you. I know you don’t see that right now, but trust me on this, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
When she emerged in a bulky sweatshirt and old jeans, Winnie winced. “You’re going to wear that? You can do better than that.”
“What?”
“You look like a hobo.”
“I always wear sweatshirts.”
“That one is like five times too big. If you want to wear a sweatshirt, choose one that you aren’t swimming in.”
“Fine.” What did it matter?
Winnie finally pulled Sam out of the house. She didn’t look like her normal bubbly self, but she was clean and dressed, so Winnie took it as a win.
With puffy eyes, Sam stared out the window as her friend drove. The goal was to get obliterated and drink away her sorrow. It wasn’t necessary a smart plan, but it was the only one that would work for now. Liquor brought about denial, and for a while she’d get caught up in the night and forget that the best thing that ever happened to her had just left town.
Sam sucked her lip in and crossed her arms over her chest. It was going to be a long night. She hoped and prayed that once she was thoroughly intoxicated, she’d be laughing at stupid stuff. And that for a few moments in time she’d forget, forget that she loved a man that was moving to Atlanta.
Georgia was too far away to keep seeing one another. It’s not like she could pop in overnight without flying. He wasn’t coming back, and she wasn’t moving there. It was time to move forward.
Pulling up to the bar, it took some convincing to get Sam out of the car. “Come on, you’ll feel better. You can’t stay cooped up like a hermit forever.”
“I don’t feel like it. I just want to curl up in bed.”
“One hour. You give me one hour, and if you still want to go home, I’ll take you there. I promise.”
“Fine.” She felt like an angered child, being forced to do something against her will. She knew Winnie meant well, and tonight was even her idea, but right now it was the last thing she wanted to do.
They chose a booth in the corner and ordered their first round. Winnie wasn’t in the habit of getting people drunk, but that was exactly what she had in mind tonight. She was going to help Sam forget, if only for one night. She knew how much Sam was hurting, and if this is what it took to help her, then so be it.
By the third drink, Sam had loosened up some, listing reasons why it was probably better to be single. When the fourth drink showed up to the table and they hadn’t ordered it, they looked around to see...but he was there before they figured it out. Brady.
“Brady.”
“Hey, Sam.” He barely noticed Winnie, but gave a nod to be polite. “How have you been? You look great.”
She looked at him. “Really?” It was sarcasm, obviously. She hadn’t done anything to her hair but pull it up into a ponytail, her clothes weren’t doing her any favors, and her eyes were bloodshot and her eyelashes gummy from too many tears.
He sat down beside her, nudging her over. “I’ve been thinking about you.”
“Brady.” She couldn’t even get the words out. Resting her head on his shoulder, she finally spoke. “You’re a great guy, but I’m in love with somebody else. I can’t do this, okay?”
He nodded. “Right, sorry. Good luck with that. Just thought I’d try again.” He got up and left.
Another time, another night, she would have leaned on him for comfort. She might have even had a one night stand, but life was different now. How could she settle, when she knew what she wanted?
Winnie went into one of her dating stories, and what a disaster it was. She was still trying to get over Oscar and made the mistake of asking a coworker out. “Yeah, that didn’t go so well. At first he was all weirded out and was totally not into me. Only, I think he felt bad and said yes anyway. Talk about awkward first dates.”
“Yeah, that would be rough.”
“I let him off the hook halfway through, and I swear that I could almost see the relief in his face. The bastard.”
“You’ll find somebody, but give it time,” Sam consoled.
“If Oscar didn’t have such a big wiener, I wouldn’t be forced to look elsewhere. I tried to diddle myself, and it just wasn’t the same.”
Sam couldn’t believe what her
friend had just said. “Oh my gosh, too much information.”
“What? It’s not like you don’t do that too. We all do.”
“But I don’t want to picture you doing it.”
“Eh, it was a half-hearted effort anyway. I wasn’t into it, and it’s like I rejected my own hand.”
Sam shook her head. “Oscar wasn’t the one for you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he wasn’t as into you as you were into him.”
Winnie crossed her arms over her chest. “He would have come around.”
“Sweetie, you can’t force it.”
“Whatever. I’m going to end up with a house full of cats and a hand that rejects me. My days of masturbating will be fruitless.”
“You need a dildo or vibrator or something. Don’t give up,” Sam giggled.
Winnie smiled. To see her friend crack a laugh, even smile again was worth the moment of sharing the silly story. Not many people got her, but Sam was always good to her. She was the best friend she had. She knew Becky was Sam’s best friend, but as long as she could be her next best friend, that was good enough. She accepted her for who she was, and not many women did. Winnie was off-putting at times, a little rough around the edges, and too forward. It made some women uncomfortable, but not Sam. She rolled with the punches and took Winnie for who she was.
“Winnie, you’ll find someone. Just don’t settle.”
Winnie nodded. “I sure hope so.”
Sam’s hand went up. “Another round,” she shot out as the waitress walked by.
“I don’t think so,” Winnie interjected.
“Just one more,” she pleaded.
“Okay. I just don’t want you to get sick. You’re getting a little wobbly, and you’re not even standing.”
“It’s okay, it’s all good.” She was relieved to be numb, and even if she did sway back and forth in the booth, it didn’t matter. If she passed out, Winnie would get her home. Hell, she’d throw her into a fireman’s carry and strap her to the car if she had to. Winnie wasn’t one to leave one of her friends behind. She was solid like that. “You’re a good friend,” she said, her voice starting to slur.
Crazy About Curves: 10 Luscious Reads Page 35
