By equating all men with a small minority of criminals, the problem of violence against women seems overwhelmingly large.
Danger: men among us
Women’s studies textbooks often paint a picture of women under siege in American society. Issues in Feminism: An Introduction to Women’s Studies describes women’s relationship with men in these bleak terms:Feminists generally agree: Women are the victims of male violence. Such violence is an integral part of the gender system; it is largely sanctioned and reinforced by social institutions—the courts, the media, the economic system, religions, and others; it has an agenda, a goal—the control of women by men through fear.1
In this view, women’s relationships with men are driven by the threat of violence. Women live in fear of ubiquitous male predators and so must seek protection from other men. It’s the perfect set up to keep women completely subservient—at least from the point of view of a radical feminist.
We’re all victims of violence
Feminists have unhelpfully conflated the actual experience of being assaulted with the mere potential for violence. It’s under this calculus that all women are victims, even if we never actually experience an attack.
Consider this passage written by another young feminist author in the compilation, Listen Up, in which she describes her reaction to seeing The Accused. In this 1988 movie, the female lead (played by Jody Foster) is gang raped and then faces a torturous courtroom battle, during which she’s accused of having “asked for it” by dressing provocatively and drinking at a bar:I recall an incident in which my friends and I discussed going to see The Accused.... I left the movie theater the following weekend in tears, completely traumatized (scarred, in fact). I spent the next two days in exactly the same condition, crying for that woman, crying for myself and convinced that I would inevitably find myself pinned to a table by hovering, raping, evil men. My fear of rape and of men culminated in frequent nightmares about incest, murder and, of course, more rape. The problem was not that I suffered an abusive childhood or bad luck, because I didn’t.... It was simply that I was born a girl in a society that devalues women and girls. Bam. That easy.2
It’s this image of men that’s reflected in the marquee feminist movie, Thelma and Louise. Each man that the heroines encounter exemplifies a different aspect of the abuse women suffer at the hands of men: a rapist attacks Thelma after she dances with him; Thelma’s unfaithful, domineering husband seeks to control her every move; a seemingly attractive man (well, definitely attractive in that he’s played by a young Brad Pitt, but he initially comes off as a good guy too) woos Thelma but ends up stealing all her money after she sleeps with him; Louise’s boyfriend breaks into a fit of violence even while preparing to propose to her; a crass truck driver repeatedly harasses the women during their journey; and even the police detective, who is offered as a potential protector/savior, laughs with Thelma’s husband and the other porn-reading police officers, and is ultimately unable to protect these women. Famously, the movie ends with the two heroine-victims clutching hands and driving off a cliff.
Lifetime television network propagates this view with a seemingly endless supply of made-for-TV movies in which the leading lady faces a constant threat of abuse from men who prey upon her. Scrolling through the movie titles and synopses on Lifetime’s line up, the paranoid woman will find plenty of fodder for her fear.
Admittedly, television and movies generally dramatize life’s events and focus on the most horrific stories. ER episodes rarely revolve around doctors confronting a stream of patients with flu symptoms and minor injuries—although no doubt such mundane ailments are the majority of cases that end up in the emergency room.
But Lifetime purports to bring women real information about the threats they face in their own lives. For example, the channel’s website contains a page with the headline: “OUR LIFETIME COMMITMENT: STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.” Among the alarming statistics that Lifetime cites is “One out of every four women on college campuses has been a victim of rape or attempted rape.”3
Lifetime is certainly not alone in offering this alarming statistic as evidence of the pervasiveness of violence against women. Ask the average female college student the likelihood of a woman being the victim of a rape, and she will usually respond “one in four.” As will be discussed later in this chapter, this statistic has a dubious origin, but its wide acceptance influences how women view men and relationships.
Redefining violence against women
What constitutes “violence” against women has been redefined in recent years. Sexual harassment laws have made off-color jokes and inappropriate comments not just brutish behavior, but crimes against women. The term “sexual harassment” isn’t reserved for truly offensive instances where women are subjected to actual hostile threats and persecution. It has been used to refer to trivial office banter, displaying a picture of a loved one, or comments meant to compliment a coworker.
The definition of rape has become similarly diffuse. The term was once reserved for when women (or men) were forced into sex by use of physical aggression or threats. Now “rape” is sometimes used to describe very different circumstances, such as when a woman drinks alcohol, agrees to intercourse, but regrets it later.
These trends sow confusion and, in some ways, cheapen the genuine suffering endured by victimized women. Real instances of violence are horrific and completely inconsistent with healthy sexuality and functional relationships. They are not the norm. By equating all men with a small minority of criminals, the problem of violence against women seems overwhelmingly large; progress becomes impossible.
Lifetime Television’s Line Up of Fear
Here are a few examples from Lifetime Television’s listings of movies of how women are threatened by men:
Sin and Redemption (1994): “A young woman from a small college town is raped and becomes pregnant. She is afraid to tell anyone and unwittingly marries her rapist. The truth is revealed years later when their daughter falls ill and is in need of a kidney donor, and he is a perfect match.”
Student Seduction (2003): “Christie Dawson wanted to be the kind of teacher that her students could always count on, the ‘cool’ teacher capable of inspiring young minds to actually want to learn chemistry. But after a pupil’s crush on her spirals out of control, turns into obsession and he sexually assaults her, Christie is no longer sure she knows how to be both a teacher and a friend. Suddenly, her colleagues, neighbors and even her husband are pointing fingers in her direction and wondering how she could have crossed the line and tempted a high school student. Will she be able to prove her innocence?”
Without Her Consent (1990): “When a small-town girl heads to Los Angeles, the first friend she makes winds up date-raping her. And she isn’t his first victim. See how this strong woman brings this sexual predator to justice.”
Available at http://www.lifetimetv.com/movies/archive/index.html
Forget men?
Individual young women warned away from men may wonder what alternative they have. Some women’s studies textbooks suggest an alternative. They challenge students to examine their sexual preferences and to explore the possibility that they’re not hard-wired to prefer the opposite sex. As one such textbook would have it, women are the victim of “heterosexual bribery”:Such bribery revolves around “the dangerous fantasy that if you are good enough, pretty enough, sweet enough, quiet enough, teach the children to behave, hate the right people, and marry the right man, then you will be allowed to co-exist with patriarchy in relative peace” (Lorde 1984, 119). In any case our socialization as females widely inculcates beliefs such as these, namely, that straight white middle-class femininity is in our best interest.4
While another textbook, though celebrating the progress feminism has made in helping to “free women’s sexual behavior from its traditional constraints,” laments that the continued presumption of heterosexuality continues to “blind people to other possibilities for human sexual feeling and prac
tice.”5
Who’s Afraid of Women’s Studies highlights the work of feminist theorists who argue that even if we accept the idea that some women are innately heterosexual, women ought to be more aware of their “lesbian potential,” and that “if lesbians were visible in an ordinary, casual, taken-for-granted way.... It may be that heterosexuality would not occur to women as a viable way of living!”6
It’s defensible for women’s studies programs to cover lesbianism and challenge students to consider how societal expectations shape relationships and self-identity. However, it’s curious that while most women’s studies texts present very bleak depictions of heterosexuality, lesbianism receives a glowingly positive review:We may have much to learn from lesbian love and sex. As women loving women because they are women, lesbians point out that they are in a special position with regard to liberating female sexuality. Free of the heterosexual politics of the usual gender-based roles and prescriptions, more positive and self-affirming as women, more acutely aware of the needs of their partners... lesbian women contend that they are more able to discover and express authentic female sexuality than their heterosexual counterparts. Although lesbian couples share the conflicts of any two people in an intimate relationship, the experiences of many lesbian couples have valuable implications for creating nonexploitive relationships.7
Of the thirty-six essays in Listen Up, not one contains positive images of sexuality within a heterosexual, monogamous relationship. There are several essays on lesbianism, a few that celebrate promiscuity and sexual liberation, and numerous articles dealing with sexual violence against women by men. One author focuses on her struggle to reconcile her various identities as an “educated, married, monogamous, feminist, Christian, African-American mother,” but her husband and marriage remain in the background and there is certainly no discussion of their sex life. Sex and sexuality pervade the writing, but healthy, monogamous heterosexual sex is ignored.
Feminist groups and other supporters of the gay rights movement generally argue that sexuality is innate—that some women are born lesbians and that homosexuality isn’t a chosen behavior. To be consistent, one should also read that heterosexual women have to be true to themselves by pursuing relationships with members of the opposite sex.
Given the reality that most women are heterosexual and see building a happy monogamous relationship with a man as an important goal, women’s studies programs should offer a more balanced picture of the dangers women face.
Violence against women and men
Before discussing the highly emotional topic of violence against women, the good news is that women are much less likely to be the victim of a violent crime than they were even a decade ago. The percentage of women who were the victim of a violent crime—including homicide, rape, robbery, and both simple and aggravated assault—dropped by more than half during the past ten years. The percentage for men has also dropped precipitously.
One often hears the phrase “violence against women,” but rarely, if ever, the words “violence against men.” Yet men continue to be much more likely than women to be the victims of a violent crime. Although violence against men has fallen during recent decades, men were almost 40 percent more likely than women to be the victim of violent crime in 2003, and 3.4 times as likely to be murdered in 2002.8
Of course, men also disproportionately commit violent crimes: Men were ten times as likely to commit homicide as were women in 2002, according to the Department of Justice. But these statistics conflict with the common notion that women are disproportionately the target of male violence. Male-on-male homicides accounted for nearly two-thirds of all cases, while male-on-female cases accounted for just over one-fifth. One in ten homicides was perpetrated by women-on-men; female-on-female homicides are the most infrequent, accounting for just 2 percent of all homicides.
One likely reason for the perception that women are disproportionately victims of violence is that women are often victims in cases that involve intimates. Nearly one third of female murder victims were murdered by a spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend, compared to just 5 percent of male victims. Women further accounted for nearly two-thirds of those murdered by intimates while men committed nearly two-thirds of such murders. Murders in which the parties know and are involved with each other can be presented more dramatically, and so received a disproportionate share of media attention. Such crimes may seem more terrifying since they involve the unthinkable idea of being killed by someone you know and may love, instead of just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Women also account for more than 80 percent of all sex-related murders, which tend to receive a great deal of media and public interest. In contrast, more than 90 percent of drug and gang related victims are men, which attracts far less interest. The public appears to discount the murders that occur between gang members and drug dealers, since those involved seem culpable for associating themselves with unsavory and illegal activities.
Crimes against women may also receive more focus from the public out of a traditional sense of chivalry. Society is more tolerant of violence between men, who are perceived as better able to defend themselves; violence against women, who are generally perceived as weaker and more vulnerable, is more disturbing.
Wardrobe malfunction or fourth-degree sexual assault?
Super Bowl Sunday ended up a great day for fans of football, television commercials, popular music, live entertainment and, as it turns out, fourth-degree sexual assault. The stunt/accident/malfunction
(or whatever you choose to name it) forced on millions of unsuspecting viewers by Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson was a remarkably realistic dramatization of sexual violence rivaled only by online pushers of rape on the Internet.
Maggie Thurs, “Fallout from Breastgate: Sexual Assault as Entertainment,” San Francisco Chronicle, February 11, 2004.
Ultimately, the reasons and disparities in the incidence of violence matter less than the importance of recognizing that both men and women are victims and our goal should be to reduce all violence, irrespective of gender.
Domestic violence or wife beating?
The perception that women are disproportionately victims is especially pronounced when it comes to discussions about domestic violence. Domestic violence is often described as “wife beating,” as if all instances of domestic violence revolve around abuse within a married couple with the husband as the perpetrator.
Research into domestic violence reveals that violence is more evenly distributed than one might expect. Women and men are equally likely to act out violently in a relationship. The difference is men are much more likely to inflict serious harm on their partners. One study found that women were six times more likely than men to seek medical care due to a marital fight. According to the Department of Justice, women accounted for 84 percent of domestic violence injuries.
As author Cathy Young summarized in a report on domestic violence:Approximately half of all couple violence is mutual, with women initiating violence as well as striking in self-defense. When only one partner is abusive, it is just as likely to be the woman as it is to be the man. This does not mean that the affects of domestic violence are distributed equally. Women are much less likely to inflict lasting damage on a victim. One study found that women account for about two-thirds of injuries from domestic violence and women are more than twice as likely as men to be killed by a spouse of partner.9
In couples where abuse is severe, men account for three-quarters of the primary aggressors. Given the rhetoric surrounding domestic violence, it may surprise some that women are the primary aggressor in one out of four severely abusive couples and that men suffer 16 percent of all domestic violence injuries.
Domestic violence is a serious problem, and in order to craft policies and procedures to reduce the incidence of violence, it’s important to recognize that women are not always passive victims in the relationships. They also can be aggressors.
Is marriage to blame?
Super Bowl Sunday is America’s pseudo holiday. This most-watched TV event is an occasion for families and co-workers to get together, eat snacks, drink beer, and watch football; sounds innocent enough. But in 1993, the Super Bowl assumed a darker identity: the number one day for violence against women. Men, pumped up with testosterone and beer after watching the big game, were libel to snap and beat their wives—or so the story went.
Christina Hoff Sommers chronicles how, that year, despite the fact that the activists later admitted that they had no data to back up the claim that abuse increased on Super Bowl Sunday, NBC aired a public service announcement on the problem of domestic violence during the big game.10 The media and public accepted this baseless claim without question because it fits the stereotypes about domestic violence. In scanning the reporting surrounding that incident, one such stereotype becomes clear: It’s not just men who beat women; overwhelmingly, it’s “husbands” who beat “wives.”11
Researchers, public officials, and the media often lump all domestic violence cases into the terminology of wife battery, implying that marriage itself is associated or even responsible for these terrible incidents.
From researchers who title papers on violence “The Marriage License as Hitting License” to public officials who launch campaigns to arrest “violent husbands,” the language of marriage is used to discuss domestic violence as if it were a problem that only exists between those who’ve vowed to stay together always.12
Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher take on the myth that “Marriage Is A Hitting License” in their book, The Case for Marriage. They highlight how researchers commonly implicate marriage in domestic abuse situations:Even highly respected researchers, well aware that domestic violence is not confined to wives, tend to use wife abuse and domestic violence interchangeably, a linguist practice that in itself suggests that marriage puts women at heightened risk.... Domestic violence is perhaps the only area in which social scientists causally use the term husband to mean any or all of the following: the man one is married to, the man one used to be married to, the man one lives with, the man one is merely having sex with, and/or the man one used to have sex with.13
The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex, and Feminism Page 7
