When she looked up at Mitch, she was surprised the see him staring down at her with a surprising amount of sobriety. He propped his weight onto his elbow, giving her a small measure of breathing room, and stared down at her, making no other attempt to move. Perhaps she should have insisted at this point, but she was momentarily stunned to find herself trapped beneath him while he watched her with that look a guy got in his eye right before—
Mitch’s mouth came down on hers with alarming accuracy and skill. She gasped in shock, and he stole what little breath remained in her lungs as his tongue swooped in and assaulted hers. He tasted like whiskey.
She turned her head to the side, breaking contact, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because his lips moved to her throat. His tongue skated over her flesh as he nipped that sensitive spot on her neck as if he’d known right where it was. No doubt, plenty of experience had taught him well.
“Mitch, stop...” It was a panted protest, but a refusal nonetheless. And one he ignored.
“It should have been you, Ash…” he whispered against her throat. “I should have chosen you.” A second later, his hand slipped under her shirt, and little alarms went off in her head.
“But you didn’t. You chose my best friend,” she argued, grabbing his arm to pull his hand off her breast. “I’m serious, Mitch. Stop!”
“I know you want this, Ash. No one has to know.”
He kissed her again, his grip on her breast tightening, refusing to budge as his thumb expertly brushed over her nipple.
Ashley jerked her head to the side. “I’d know, and you’d know. Trust me, Mitch, you’d regret this in the morning.”
When he shook off her hand and forced his under her bra, a burst of panic erupted inside her chest. Oh shit! What if he didn’t stop? A moment after the fear seized her and the thought raced through her mind, she felt Mitch’s weight being ripped off her. A second later, a loud crash filled the room.
Ashley scrambled off the bed to find Mitch lying on the floor in a crumpled ball across the bedroom. A body-sized groove dented the sheetrock halfway up the wall. His pained groan confirmed he was still conscious—barely. “Holy shit, Mitch! Are you all right?” she asked, running over to him.
“Jeez, Ash, you didn’t have to hit me,” he complained, rubbing the side of his jaw as he struggled to sit up.
I didn’t… Her chest tightened into a knot. “Well, you should have stopped when I told you to. Give me your hand,” she said, reaching down to pull him up off the floor. He leaned on her even more heavily than before. Hopefully, that hit he took to his jaw knocked some sense into him.
“I’m sorry, Ash,” Mitch moaned, falling back into bed.
“All right, Mitch. Are you listening to me? Look at me so I know you’re hearing the words coming out of my mouth.” He cracked one eye open, the other was already starting to swell shut. Shit, how many times had Balen hit him? “Because you’re wasted, I’m going to give you this one—once. But if you ever come onto me again, I’m telling Olivia. I’m your friend, Mitch, not your fuck buddy. Don’t confuse the two again. Are we clear?”
“Crystal,” he slurred, groaning as he rolled over, giving her his back.
She started to walk away and stopped when he said, “I wasn’t lying when I said I wished I would have fallen in love with you. At least then I wouldn’t have a supernatural ex-boyfriend to contend with.”
I wouldn’t bet on that... Ashley thought, sighing heavily. “Get some sleep, Mitch. Tomorrow’s a new day,” she said, pulling the door closed behind her.
Ashley didn’t realize she was shaking until she got back in her car and put her hands on the steering wheel to drive home. She sat there a few minutes with her eyes closed, taking in slow, deep breaths.
“Are you there, Balen?”
Silence.
“What am I saying?—of course you are. I can feel you, for crissake, I just can’t see you. You’re sitting here right next to me, aren’t you?”
Silence.
Just once, she wished he would answer her. “Thank you. For tonight. I don’t want to think about what might have happened if you hadn’t been there. You know, I keep hoping one of these times you’re going to answer me. At least that’s why I keep talking to you.”
She reached over and put her hand on the passenger seat as her eyes welled with tears she was tired of trying to hold back. “I miss you,” she whispered softly.
Chapter Sixteen
Had he not been drained from forty-eight hours of straight hunting, Haden would have been able to avoid the sleep dogging his heels. For hours, he lay there trying to fight it. The shower he’d taken only seemed to relax his aching muscles, adding a further measure of fatigue to his current state of exhaustion. Bottom line, he wasn’t recharged yet, and without the required rest, he wouldn’t be functioning for shit come daylight. But he knew what awaited him on the other side of slumber—nothing but pain, suffering, and heartache, and so he fought to resist the claws of Hypnos threatening to pull him under. He lost…
After snapping the demon’s neck, no others were foolish enough to come after him. They were either too caught up feasting on their victims, or perhaps they didn’t want to end up like the piece of shit lying dead at his feet. Haden kicked the corpse out of his way and stalked into the brush, heading in the same direction he’d seen Anya flee.
Fury rolled off him in waves of self-loathing, poisoning the blood pumping through his veins. He should have known this would happen. He should have acted sooner. And now he needed to find his woman and tell her everyone she loved, her home, her village, was nothing more than a pile of ash—and it was all his fault.
He knew precisely where she was, and he didn’t require the aid of his ability to track her, either. His sharply acute senses led him right to her. He could hear the rapid panting of her breaths. The bitter almond scent of her terror left a tang in the air that the drifting smoke couldn’t quite obscure, which meant she hadn’t run far enough or fast enough. If he could detect her, so could the demons.
The pounding patter of her footsteps suddenly became silent. She’d found someplace to hide, or so she thought. Haden’s determined steps ate up the distance between him and the narrow cave she’d ducked into. The rapid fire of her heartbeat kicked even faster when he neared the opening of the cave. “Anya, it’s me,” he announced, striding inside without hesitation. As his eyes adjusted to night vision, he saw his female huddled in a recess of the cave, staring at him as if he were a stranger—a monster, like one of those beasts that had just burned and leveled her village.
“Who are you?” she demanded, her voice thick with unshed tears. “What are you?”
When he didn’t respond, she hit him with another barrage of questions he didn’t want to answer. “I felt it the night I met you, when I touched you, but not since then. I thought I’d imagined it.”
He knew she was referring to that time she’d touched him when he wasn’t corporeal. Since then, he hadn’t crossed back over, taking care to suppress the darkness inside him. With time, it had gotten easier. Anya seemed to bring out whatever little goodness he had in him.
“Are you one of them? Oh God, tell me you’re not a demon!”
“I’m not a demon.”
“Tell me the truth!”
“Dammit, Anya, we don’t have time for this! I’m not a goddamn demon!” He held out his hand and took a step toward her. She shrunk back farther into the crook of the wall, not looking the slightest bit convinced. “Then what are you? I saw you fight that thing! You’re not human!”
“You’re right, I’m not. But I’m asking you to trust me, Anya. You’re not safe here. They can find you, and soon they’re going to be looking. I’ll answer your questions, all of them, just not until I get you somewhere safe.”
Keeping his hand extended, he took another step closer. This time she didn’t shrink back. She pressed her hand against her still flat stomach, already instinctively wanting to protect their young.
Damn, if he didn’t love her all the more for it. Hesitantly, she nodded and reached for him with her free hand. As soon as she was within reach, he pulled her into his arms and relief washed over him when she hugged him back.
His hand slid into her hair, cupping the back of her head as he held her tightly against his chest. “I love you, Anya. Never doubt that.”
Again, she nodded. Her tears saturated his shirt, stinging his chest as the moisture bled through to his skin. His chest ached with profound loss and heartbreak—Anya’s heartache. Lord, he just wanted to be free—to live his life as a free man indentured to no one. But this could never be, he realized sadly, because he wasn’t free and he wasn’t a man. Before this attack, he’d considered petitioning the High Court for asylum, for himself and Anya—but not now, not anymore. He fumed as images of the terror on Anya’s face played through his mind. He’d deal with this alone, just as he’d always been—alone…
“Get up!” The snarled command was followed by a kick to the side of Haden’s bed. The jerking movement and abrading voice ripped Anya from his arms as his eyes flew open. A low growl erupted from Haden’s throat, and without any more warning, he leapt from the bed, catching Rowen by the throat and shoving him back until he slammed against the wall. It was in that moment, that final act of negligent disregard that sealed Rowen’s fate. “Never do that again!” he hissed.
An ember of fear flickered in the fallen angel’s eyes as he struggled to break Haden’s iron tight grip on his throat. At the last second, Haden released the stupid son of a bitch with a snarled curse and shoved him away. “Stay away from me today,” he growled, not giving Rowen a chance to respond. “Or I just may do Liam the favor and kill you myself!” He marched over to the bed and snatched his shirt up from the floor. “I’m taking the day off,” he announced, pulling it on over his head. “I’ll find you when I’m ready to look at you without wanting to tear your goddamn throat out!”
Haden slammed the bedroom door behind him, marching purposefully down the long hall toward the stairs. He glanced up as the slender brunette exited a room, backing into the hall. When she turned, her eyes locked on his and she quickly looked away, but not before he noticed the bruises around her throat. It surprised him to feel a momentary touch of regret for what he’d done. Those emotions were long dead and buried, replaced only with vengeance. Perhaps the memories of Anya were still fresh in his mind, stirring his conscience and drudging up old feelings. Hell knows, regret had been his constant companion right up until his soul died when he laid that last stone upon Anya’s grave.
The woman turned to the side, trying to skirt past him. Reflexively, his hand shot out, catching her arm. When she glanced back at him, all he saw was terror in her dark brown eyes. It was a look he was well acquainted with—a look that forever haunted him, because it was Anya’s terror he saw when he looked into that woman’s eyes.
“I’m sorry…” Haden croaked, not sure if he was talking to the whore or his beloved. The moment he released her, she turned and ran.
***
The problem with never sleeping was having his mind in constant motion, and right now, it was taking Liam places he didn’t want to go. In the heat of the moment, they’d promised each other no regrets, but that was easier said than done.
He’d sampled the forbidden fruit and he hungered for more. If he’d thought he was addicted to this female before, last night had unleashed a whole new level of hell for him. He wanted her—all of her—to possess her in a way he never could, and it burned like acid in his veins to know that Mitch had what he never could—never would.
Every emotion fired off in him with an intensity he never experienced before, making his muted emotive grid of grays suddenly explode with an overwhelming vibrancy of colors. And he knew this was just the first of what would be many consequences to breaching intimacy boundaries with Olivia last night.
Already, just having her lying here beside him… Her naked body pressed against him, her head resting against his shoulder, her breasts crushed against his side, sent desire licking through his veins. The heat was nearly unbearable, fueled by the feral thoughts of another man having done this and more with her, just about sent him into madness.
His lack of mental control unnerved him as the passion and jealousy raged like a tempest. This wasn’t him. Or perhaps it was. Only now, he lacked the grace to resist his true warrior nature—to conquer, to fight, to possess. Was this what it’d been like in the garden? Living under the blissful covering of ignorance until caving to temptation and eating the fruit? Well, Olivia was his apple and his eyes had most certainly been opened.
Before last night, Liam functioned solely from the rational, logical side of his mind. It was where he drew his calm, disciplined strength. It was how he’d been able to keep his distance from Olivia for the last three agonizing years while she fell for another man. But now…he was frustrated, jealous, cranked up, and hot as hell for this woman in his arms. And so hopelessly in love with her that it scared the shit out of him.
He wasn’t proud of the way he’d lunged at her in the elevator. But the moment she’d told him she wasn’t going to marry Mitch, something inside him had snapped. His only driving thought had been how close he’d come to losing this woman—losing her heart to Mitch, losing her life to Haden…
But sometime in the wee hours of the night, reality began creeping in, and along with it came the knowledge that this wasn’t going to be that easy. Mitch wasn’t just going to let Olivia go, not without a fight—he wouldn’t—he hadn’t—and he’d be a fool to think Mitch would do otherwise.
Haden most certainly had an agenda. Liam just hadn’t discovered what it was yet, but he was sure as hell going to find out in a right quick hurry. And then there was still the Rowen issue, soon to be a dead issue if he had his way.
And finally, once all those hurdles had been passed, there was now the problem that he didn’t know how he was ever going to let her go again to return back home. He’d already fallen once, and he doubted the High Court would be quite so understanding about it a second time.
His energy spike must have woken Olivia, because she inhaled deeply and stirred. Turning her face into his peck, she slid her hand across his chest, gliding it around his waist. She settled back in, but didn’t sleep. Nor did she speak, or make any other indication that she was awake—but she was. Her respiratory pattern changed. He could feel her exhaled breaths skating across his chest.
Perhaps she, too, was reneging on the “no regrets” pact. Maybe she regretted what happened between them. Maybe she realized that she still had feelings for Mitch and she’d just cheated on him. Maybe she was still in love with her fiancé and didn’t know how to tell him she’d made a mistake. And maybe he was going to lose his fucking mind with all this maybeing.
A frustrated growl rumbled in his throat as he slid his arm out from behind Olivia’s head and rolled away, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to plant his feet on the floor. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, and planted his face in his hands. His attempt to draw a mind-clearing breath was thwarted by the vanilla-jasmine scent of the naked woman behind him.
Shit… He needed to go somewhere—needed to blow off this energy simmering inside him like a pressure cooker. He needed to give Olivia the space to rethink her hasty decision to ditch her wedding plans and climb into bed with someone who could never fully meet her needs as a woman. Someone whose desires she couldn’t meet without fear of bodily harm. Now, if that wasn’t a deal breaker, he didn’t know what was. In fact, as much as he hated to admit it and as much as it killed him to think it, the best thing he could do for her, if he really loved her, was return her to Mitch before he ruined her life.
“Liam—”
He felt the caress of her sleep-rasped voice all the way to his bones.
“Liam, look at me.”
“I’d rather not,” he answered into his hands. Lord knows what she’d see in those blasted mood rings he had for eyes. An
d he knew what he’d see the moment he turned around—a halo of black silky hair spread across her crisp white pillow, emerald green eyes staring at him with, no doubt, regret. Her bottom lip would be tucked between her teeth. The graceful arch of her neck would bear two cherry red marks from his passionate kisses.
“I think we need to talk.” The hesitation in her voice stung like a knife through his chest.
“I agree, but I think it’d be more appropriate if you dressed first.” He failed to add because it’s killing me to sit here with you like this and not touch you again, not kiss you—
“Appropriate? Appropriate!”
The flare of her temper surprised him, abrading his flesh like sandpaper.
“You didn’t seem too concerned about ‘appropriate’ last night when you were knelt between my—”
“Stop!” His command flew out of his mouth in a growl harsher than he’d intended. “I remember full well where I was and what I was doing last night. I don’t need to hear you say it.” Especially when I can still taste you.
“Then do you also remember the part about no regrets?” she challenged.
“Yes I do, and I won’t hold you to it.” He stood up, careful to keep his back to her. If he turned around, he’d be right back where he was last night and that wouldn’t do either of them any favors right now. “Look, Olivia, I need some time to process this, all right? This is all…new for me, and I need to take care of some things. We’ll talk when I get back.” He forced one foot in front of the other. If he didn’t leave right now, he wouldn’t be able to.
Before he reached the bedroom door, she called after him. “You think this isn’t new for me?” her voice was ripe with accusation. “What exactly do you think Mitch and I have done?”
He froze. Every muscle in his back jacked tight. Jealousy slammed into his gut, knocking the air from his lungs. He couldn’t do this right now—couldn’t let his mind go there—couldn’t have this conversation, not with so many raw emotions grappling for control of him.
Shades of Darkness (Redemption Series) Page 15
