Claim Me: A Novel

by J. Kenner

  The bedroom connects to an oversized dressing area and a stunning bathroom, but though I check briefly in both, I do not see him, and I continue through to the living area. The space is large and also well-appointed with comfortable seating and a round worktable that is now covered with sheaths of papers and folders representing both the business that Damien is continuing to run despite the world collapsing around our ears, and the various legal documents that his attorney, Charles Maynard, has left for Damien to study.

  The room is exactly as we left it last night, even down to the two crystal high ball glasses on the coffee table that held the whiskey we’d sipped while we sat talking on the couch, my feet in his lap and his fingers casually stroking my leg. My skin tingles from the mere memory of his touch, and I cannot help but smile. Despite the circumstances, the night was sweet. This is our last night before the proceedings officially begin, and by some unspoken agreement we said nothing about the reason that we are here in Munich. There was only the two of us and the fire that is forever between us. A fire that started with only the soft glow of coals during dinner, and then exploded into a pyrotechnical display when he finally took me to bed.

  Was that really only a few hours ago?

  For that matter, can it really be true that Damien’s trial will begin only a few hours from now?

  The thought makes me shudder, and although it is far too obvious that I am alone in this massive suite, I glance once more around the room, as if by the force of my will alone I can make Damien appear before me.

  No such luck.

  Frowning, I wander to the table and then to the bar, hoping to find a note. But there is nothing. I pick up the receiver on the house phone and dial zero. Almost immediately there is an accented voice on the other end. “How may I help you, Ms. Fairchild?”

  Relief crashes over me. “He’s down there?” I whisper, though I know the answer must be yes. Why else would the concierge assume that I am the caller, and not Damien?

  “Mr. Stark is in the Jahreszeiten Bar. Shall I have a phone brought to his table?”

  “No, that’s all right. I’ll get dressed and come down.”

  “Sehr gut. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “No, thank you.” I’m about to hang up when I realize there is something. “Wait!” I catch him before he clicks off, then inveigle his help with my plan to distract Damien from whatever nighttime demons urged him from our bed and down to the lobby.

  I dress quickly, literally grabbing the first thing I see. We’ve spent a few hours escaping reality over the last few days by shopping on Munich’s famous Maximilianstrasse, and I have acquired so many shoes and dresses I could open my own boutique. Last night, Damien had been far too cavalier when he peeled a stunning trompe l’oeil patterned sheath off me. Considering that dress cost more than my first car, I thought it deserved more than a careless toss across the back of an armchair.

  Now, though, I’m glad it’s there. I let the robe drop where I stand and pull the dress on, then run my fingers through my hair. I force myself not to go into the bathroom to primp and freshen the make-up that has surely rubbed off. It’s more challenging than it sounds; the mantra that a lady doesn’t go out unfinished has been beaten into my head since birth. But with Damien at my side I have thumbed my nose at many of the tribulations of my youth, and right now I am more concerned with finding him than with applying fresh lipstick.

  I shove my feet into a nearby pair of pumps, grab my bag, and hurry out the door toward the elevator. Despite the age of the building and the elegance of the interior, the hotel boasts a modern feel, and I have come to feel at home within these walls. I wait impatiently for the elevator, and then even more impatiently once I’m in the car. The descent seems to take forever, and when the doors finally open to reveal the opulent lobby, I aim myself straight for the old English style bar.

  Despite the late hour on a Sunday, the Jahreszeiten Bar is bustling. A woman stands by the piano softly singing to the gathered crowd. I barely pay her any heed. I don’t expect to find Damien among the listeners.

  Instead, I wander through the wood and red leather interior, shaking off the help of a waiter who wants to seat me. I pause for a moment, standing idly beside a blonde woman about my age who is sipping champagne and laughing with a man who might be her father, but I’m betting is not. I turn slowly, taking in the room around me. Damien is not with the group at the piano, nor is he sitting at the bar. And he does not occupy any of the red leather chairs that are evenly spaced around the tables.

  I’m starting to worry that perhaps he was leaving as I was coming when I remember the fireplace. The last time we came down here, we drank Glenfiddich and talked about all the things we were going to do when we returned to Los Angeles. But tonight, I see no fireplace.

  I move to the left and realize that what I thought was a solid wall was actually an optical illusion created by a pillar. Now I can see the rest of the room, including the flames leaping in the fireplace set into the opposite wall. There is a small loveseat and two chairs surrounding the hearth. And, yes, there is Damien.

  I immediately exhale, my relief so intense I almost use the blonde’s shoulder to steady myself. He is seated in one of the chairs, his back to me and the rest of the room as he faces the flames. His shoulders are broad and straight, and more than capable of bearing the weight of the world upon them. I wish, however, that they didn’t have to.

  I move toward him, the sound of my approach muffled by both the thick carpet and the din of conversation. I pause a few feet behind him, already feeling the familiar pull I experience whenever I am near Damien, as if he is a magnet and I am inexorably drawn to him. Across the room, the singer is now crooning Since I Fell For You, her voice cutting sharp and clear across the room, as if she is serenading Damien and me alone. Her voice is so mournful that I’m afraid it is going to unleash a flood of tears along with all of the stress of the last few days.

  No. I’m here to comfort Damien, not the other way around, and I continue toward him with renewed resolve. I press my hand to his shoulder, and bend down, my lips brushing his ear. “Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?”

  I hear rather than see his answering smile. “That depends on who’s asking.” He doesn’t turn to face me, but he lifts his arm so that his hand is held up in a silent invitation. I close my hand in his, and he guides me gently around the chair until I am standing in front of him. I know every line of this man’s face. Every angle, every curve. I know his lips, his expressions. I can close my own eyes and picture his, dark with desire, bright with laughter. I have only to look at his midnight-colored hair to imagine the soft, thick locks between my fingers. There is nothing about him that is not intimately familiar to me, and yet every glance at him hits me like a shock, reverberating through me with enough power to knock me to my knees.

  Empirically, he is gorgeous. But it is not simply his looks that overwhelm. It is the whole package. The power, the confidence, the bone-deep sensuality that he couldn’t shake even if he tried.

  He is exceptional. And he is mine.

  “Damien,” I whisper, because I can’t wait any longer to feel his name against my lips.

  That wide, spectacular mouth curves into a slow smile. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” He tugs my hand, pulling me onto his lap. His thighs are firm and athletic, and I settle there eagerly, but I don’t lean against him. I want to sit back enough that I can see his face.

  “How could I sleep without you?” I ask. “Especially tonight?” I stroke his cheek. He hasn’t shaved since yesterday, and the stubble of his beard is rough against my palm. The shock of our connection rumbles through me, and my chest feels tight, my breath uneven. Will there ever come a time when I can be near him without yearning for him? Without craving the touch of his skin against my own?

  It’s not even a sexual longing—not entirely, anyway. Instead, it’s a craving. As if my very survival depends on him. As if we are two halves of a whole and neit
her can survive without the other.

  With Damien, I am happier than I have ever been. But at the same time, I’m more miserable, too. Because now I truly understand fear.

  I force a smile, because the one thing I will not do is let Damien see how scared I am of losing him. “You couldn’t sleep? Are you thinking about the trial?”

  “A bit,” he says, his eyes locked on my face. “Mostly, I’ve been thinking about you.”

  “Oh.” I cannot help the flutter in my chest, and I feel the flicker of a smile tugging at my lips. “What were you thinking?”

  “That I am a selfish man, but nothing that I have done in my life is more selfish than loving you.”

  “Damien, no. I want to be here. I need to be here. You know that.” We’ve had this conversation before. When the German indictment came through, he’d tried to push me away, believing that he was protecting me. But he’d been wrong—and I’d flown all the way to Germany to tell him so.

  “No,” he says with a small shake of his head. “I mean I should never have pursued you in the first place.”

  “Don’t even joke about that,” I say. The thought that Damien never entered my life is worse than the thought of him leaving it.

  “I pissed you off at Evelyn’s,” he says. “Remember? I should have let you stay pissed. I should have simply walked away.”

  My mouth is dry, and my chest feels tight. I do not want to hear these words. I don’t want to believe that there is even some tiny part of him that would prefer to have never met me, not even if that fantasy is borne from a desire to protect me. “No,” I say. It’s the only word I can manage, and it sounds strangled and raw.

  “Oh, Nikki.” His fingertips stroke my cheek, and though his smile is bittersweet, his eyes are filled with so much passion that it takes my breath away. “You can’t possibly know how much I love you.”

  “I do,” I say.

  The small shake of his head is almost playful. “It’s too big, too powerful. There is no start and no end, nothing with which I can measure the length and breadth of what I feel for you. I look at you and wonder how I can possibly survive the riot of emotions within me.”

  “You make it sound almost painful.” My words are soft, gently teasing.

  “You and I know better than anyone how pain and pleasure walk hand in hand. Passion, Nikki, remember? And with you, it fills me.”

  I swallow, undone by both his words and by the intensity with which he is speaking them.

  “I want to hold you close. To cherish and protect you. To draw you in until we are so close that I am lost within you. I want to take you to bed, to watch the way your skin tightens beneath my fingers, the way your body awakens under my touch. I want to trail kisses over you until you are lost in so much pleasure that you don’t know where you end and I begin. I want to tie you up and fuck you until there is no doubt that you are mine. I want to dress you up and take you out, and show you off, this beautiful, vibrant, brilliant woman. Everything I’ve built? All my companies? All my billions? They have no value compared to you.”

  I open my mouth to speak, but he hushes me with a gentle finger to my lips. “So, no, Nikki. I couldn’t have walked away. Selfish, yes. But I cannot wish it otherwise. I need you, and I can’t regret that I have you.”

  “I need you, too,” I say. “You know that I do.”

  “I don’t regret having you,” he repeats. “But I regret very much what that does to you. You’re suffering for it, or you will.” The sadness that fills his eyes is enough to melt me. “You are the one person in all the world I cannot bear to hurt, and yet I’m the one who put fear in your eyes.”

  “No,” I lie. “I’m not scared. If you see fear, it’s only because I was afraid you were going to try to push me away. But about the trial? I’m not afraid at all.”

  “Liar,” he says gently.

  “You forget that I’ve seen you in action, Damien Stark. You’re a goddamn force of nature. They can’t possibly hold you. Maybe they don’t know it yet, but I do. You’re going to walk away from this. You’re going home a free man. There’s no other way that this can end.”

  I don’t expect his reaction—Damien laughs. “I love you even more for pretending, but I know you’re scared. And you should be. This is the kind of case that has prosecutors salivating.”

  “But you didn’t kill Merle Richter,” I remind him.

  “No, I didn’t. But truth is a malleable thing, and once I walk into that courtroom, the truth is what a jury says it is.”

  “Then you need to damn well make sure the jury has the information to do that. Dammit, Damien, you didn’t kill him. But even if you did, there were mitigating circumstances.” I force myself not to flinch as I say the words. Despite Maynard and all the rest of his attorneys pushing him to raise a defense, Damien has continued to refuse. I fully expect to be shut down now. Which is why I’m all the more surprised when he nods slowly.

  “Yes,” he says, so softly I almost don’t hear him. “That’s one of the things I’ve been down here thinking about.”

  I hold my breath and silently urge him to continue.

  “I’ve wanted you for so long, and now that I have you, I’m risking everything there is between us.”

  Yes, I want to scream. Yes! I realize that I’m digging my fingernails into my knee, and I force myself to relax as I try not to anticipate his next words. As I try not to get my hopes up.

  “I’m not convinced that revealing what Richter did to me is the panacea you and Maynard and the rest of them think it is. But maybe I should try. If it means that the charges will go away, then maybe I should sacrifice the privacy that I’ve spent my whole life fighting to maintain.”

  I hear the bitterness in his voice, and I want to reach for him and hold his hand tight in mine. I don’t, though. I stay absolutely, perfectly still.

  “There is no shame in being a victim, right? So why should I care if the world knows the vile things he did to me? Why should it matter if the press writes about the dark nights in my dorm room. The things he made me do. Things I haven’t even told you. Things that I wish I could forget.”

  He meets my eyes, but I see only the hard lines and angles of his face. “If it means that I can walk to you as a free man, shouldn’t I want to shout that story from the rooftops? Shouldn’t I want it plastered everywhere?”

  Something cool brushes my cheek, and I realize that I am crying.

  “No,” I whisper, hating the truth even as I say it. But this is the heart of the man I fell in love with. A man who lives by his own code, and it is that core of him that I fell in love with. “Not even for me,” I say. “Not even to stay out of prison.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut, and fresh tears spill out over my lashes.

  The pad of his thumb brushes my cheek.

  “You understand?”

  “No,” I say, but I mean yes, and I can see that he knows it.

  “Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls me to him, his arm swooping around my waist and shifting me on his lap so quickly that I gasp. The sound, however, is cut off by the pressure of his mouth closing firmly over mine. The kiss is deep and raw and all-consuming, and immediately warm desire blooms within me. His hand slides up my back, and I curse the necessity of clothing in public. I feel his body tighten under mine, the bulge of his erection under his jeans teasing my rear as I shift my weight and lean closer, deepening this kiss.

  After a moment, I pull back, breathless.

  “I love you,” he says, and I want to wrap the words around me like a blanket.

  I smile playfully and slide off his lap, my hand extended to him. “You have to be in court at ten, Mr. Stark. I think you’d better come with me.”

  He stands, his expression wary. “Are you going to tell me I have to get some sleep?”

  “No.”

  His gaze slides over me, my body quivering in response as if he had physically touched me. “Good,” he says, and that one simple word conveys a world of promises.

  I
allow the corner of my mouth to quirk up into a hint of a smile. “Not that, either. Not yet, anyway.”

  The confusion on his face makes my smile grow wider, but he doesn’t have the chance to ask, as the concierge has approached. “Everything is ready, Ms. Fairchild.”

  I smile broadly. “Thank you. Your timing is perfect.”

  I take the hand of the very confused man that I love and lead him through the lobby, following the concierge to the front of the hotel. There, parked on the street beside a very giddy valet, is a cherry red Lamborghini.

  Damien turns to look at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. “What’s this?”

  “I thought you could use a little fun tonight, and the A9’s just a few miles away. Fast car. German autobahn. It seemed like a no-brainer to me.”

  “Boys and their toys?”

  I lower my voice so that the concierge can’t overhear. “Since we already have some interesting toys in the room, I thought you might enjoy a change of pace.” I lead him closer to where the valet stands by the open passenger door. “I understand she’s very responsive, and I know you’ll enjoy having all that power at your command.”

  “Is she?” He looks me up and down, and this time the inspection is tinged with fire. “As a matter of fact, that’s exactly what I like. Responsiveness. Power. Control.”

  “I know,” I say, and then slide into the passenger seat, letting more than a little thigh show as I do.

  And instant later, Damien is behind the wheel and he’s fired the powerful engine.

  “Drive fast enough, and it’s almost like sex,” I tease. And then, because I can’t resist, I add, “At the very least, it makes for exceptional foreplay.”

  “In that case, Ms. Fairchild,” he says, with a boyish grin that makes this all worthwhile, “I suggest you hold on tight.”