“I’m glad you came to Kyle when you needed him.”
Ronnie took a sip of her drink. She set it down and swiped her finger over the condensation on the glass. Was that why she’d come? Her subconscious leading her back to the man who’d once promised to always be there for her? She didn’t have an answer. Avoidance was easier and safer.
“My mom left instructions for me to bring a bunch of paintings she’d made to Dad. She’d written her will right before he’d died.” She glanced at the older woman. “Anyway, I needed a break from the craziness of my life and decided to come out here and hang them in the cabin.”
Eliza tilted her head to the side. “That was a smart choice. It’s peaceful here, a good place to come in order to reevaluate your life.” She narrowed her eyes. “That is the true reason you came, isn’t it? Those paintings could’ve waited until you’d grieved.”
She shrugged and dropped her gaze to the worn tabletop. “I suppose. Living in our big house alone was hard. Too many memories.”
“You never moved out?”
“No. There was enough space to separate our lives. Besides, I liked having someone to eat dinner with every night.”
“No man in your life?”
She shook her head. “Nothing exclusive.”
Eliza took the seat in front of her. “Why did you leave? Kyle loved you.”
She glanced at the door separating them. “Because I was a coward. It was easier to walk away than look him in the eye and tell him I didn’t want to marry him and live here.” She waited for Eliza’s condescending words, but Kyle’s mother only watched her with her insightful brown eyes.
“I couldn’t. Do you understand?”
Still no response. Eliza held her gaze.
Ronnie looked away. “I had my mom, the gallery, the Axel legacy. By the time I had second thoughts and wondered if we could’ve made it work, too much time had passed. I figured Kyle had found the wife he’d desperately wanted, and I couldn’t bear learning of the happy life he’d built without me. It was easier to just move on.”
“He didn’t want a wife, Ronnie. He wanted you.”
She sighed. “I realize that now, but it doesn’t matter. Ten years have passed. We’re different people with our own established lives.”
“And are you happy with yours?”
“Sure.” But she wasn’t positive that was the truth anymore. She rubbed at her bare ring finger with her thumb. Longings rose. She pushed them aside. Nothing had changed. Her life was in Virginia. His was here.
Without her mom, she had double the responsibilities. Already she was working sixty hour work weeks. There were shows scheduled into next year, charity events, auctions she’d promised to attend. It wasn’t as if she could drop any of those things and drive to Sander’s Valley every weekend. Kyle couldn’t afford to come see her all the time either. Gas was expensive, and it wasn’t as if he’d take money from her to pay for his trips.
No, it wouldn’t work. It was better to slink away and hide from her mistakes. She couldn’t change them or herself.
* * * *
“How do you plan to win her back?”
Kyle tore his gaze from the kitchen door and focused on his father. “I have no clue. I thought to do it by reminding her of what living in Sander’s Valley was like, but she doesn’t want to live here. It’s the reason she left.”
“Don’t you think it’s more important to remind her of what you can give her?”
He rubbed at the back of his neck and thought about how good she felt in his arms, how her cries of passion completed him. “I’ve started.”
“And?”
Kyle glanced at his dad, an older version of himself with streaks of gray in his hair. In his fifties, he still looked good with a muscled frame and a deeply tanned face from working outside. “I don’t know if it’ll be enough. She’s a billionaire, Dad. I have debt and a floundering business. Only thing I can claim is my house, and that’s because you own the land.”
His dad frowned. “I didn’t think Ronnie was like that. She never seemed to care that you came from a working family. Hell, she shoveled manure with you.”
Kyle chuckled at the memories of working side by side on the farm. “It was a way for us to spend time together. We had so little.”
“And you have even less now. Why are you wasting it here with us?”
He let his gaze drift to the kitchen door. “Because she needs Mom. She’s hurting and feeling guilty. Mom’s got a way with people, you know? She makes them think and helps them come up with the right choices without them knowing it.”
His dad grinned. “That she does. She’s a good woman.”
Kyle faced him and crossed his arms over his chest. “So’s Ronnie.”
His dad glanced from him to the kitchen door at Kyle’s back. “You don’t still hate her for what she did? Leaving you behind?”
“No, I don’t hate her. Angry? Damn straight. She wasted ten years. Some of the best of our lives. We’ll never get that back.”
“And I’m sorry. I really am.”
Kyle cursed and pivoted on his heel. He hadn’t meant for Ronnie to hear his words. Blaming her for the lost time together wouldn’t do them any good. “I know. I forgive you for it.”
Her features tightened. “But you won’t be able to forget it, will you?”
He wanted to tell her that he could. Dammit, he knew it’d be the safest choice, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. He should’ve told her right off why he didn’t want to go to college in Virginia. But no, he had to hold on to his pride. Look at where it had landed him. Alone.
“You’re right. I won’t. Doesn’t mean we can’t start over.”
“I never said I wanted to.”
Ice dripped from her words. He clenched his hands and fought his anger. “As friends. That’s how we started in the first place.”
“I’m not looking to repeat the past.”
The front door opened, stopping their argument. Levi and Jack walked in. Although twins, they looked nothing alike. Levi was blond and thin, while Jack wore ruggedness like a second skin. They were rarely seen apart except for when they retreated to their own houses, identical log cabins on either side of the mountains framing Sander’s Valley. Kyle and Wyn had homes by the lake. Their parents’ place sat in the middle of the farm. The rest of the rolling acreage was empty.
Levi stepped forward and enveloped Ronnie in a fierce hug. Kyle was glad he’d called ahead and warned his brothers not to make a big deal about her bruises. She didn’t like other people seeing her cry.
“Ronnie Axel. I never thought I’d see you again.” Levi kissed her cheeks. “I’m so glad you finally decided to wise up.”
“About?”
“Breaking that Axel curse.” She stiffened, but Levi didn’t seem to notice or care. He hugged her tighter. “You need to move back to Sander’s Valley and sign over your gallery to someone else.”
A pregnant silence descended over the room, everyone waiting to hear what Ronnie would say.
“There is no curse hanging over my family.” She slipped out of Levi’s embrace. “And I’m not moving back here. I’m just visiting for a few days.”
So much for getting Ronnie to see reason. Even if there wasn’t a curse, the gallery would suck the life out of her, exactly as it had her mom. Ronnie hadn’t talked about her mom much, but when she had, she’d described her as depressed and sullen.
His mom stepped forward. “And if you boys don’t give Ronnie some breathing room, I’m kicking you out. She’s had a rough couple of weeks. Now”—she pointed toward the dining room—“the food’s getting cold.”
The mention of dinner caught his brothers’ attentions. They retreated along with his parents, leaving Kyle alone with Ronnie. He took her hand. “Please don’t hold what I said against me. I’m angry about how things ended with us, and that’s as much my fault as yours. I might never have been to Virginia, but I can read a map. I knew where you lived. I could’ve come,
talked to you, and worked things out. I didn’t. You hurt my pride and broke my heart.”
“And wasted ten years of your life.”
He closed his eyes and fought his frustration. She was clinging to their lost time like it was some kind of weapon or maybe a shield. Either way, he wouldn’t get behind her defenses tonight. He’d have to wait until they lowered. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“No.”
He studied her expression. She appeared genuine. The sadness had faded from her expression. So had the anger. “You’re sure?”
She nodded and led him to the dining room. “I’m sure. I’ve missed being a part of family dinners.”
He opened the door in time to hear his mama yell, “Stop licking the damn rolls! There’s enough for everyone.”
Ronnie glanced at him, a smile on her face. “See?”
Chapter Nine
Ronnie followed Kyle up the steps to her dad’s cabin several days later. Her hands trembled. She linked them behind her back. The sight of the beautiful log home overlooking Sander’s Lake brought back too many memories she’d rather keep locked away. All involved her dad, Frank Selenski, the man who might or might not be her true birth father. Either way, she loved him, and he’d treasured his house in the mountains.
He’d often told her the true natives of the valley always returned. The only reason he’d left in the first place was to attend the University of Virginia. The art scholarship he’d gotten had been too good to pass up. There, he’d met Ronnie’s mom, Vivien Axel.
They’d had a whirlwind relationship and married within six months. According to them, they’d lived happily, until Vivien’s father died and she was forced to take over the gallery. A few months later, Ronnie was conceived, and Frank moved out. He’d feared the curse and wanted Vivien to sell the gallery. She’d refused, and they’d parted ways.
The curse. Ridiculous. Ronnie shook her head. There was no such thing as a curse. The Axel family had money. Lots and lots of money. It wasn’t that much of a stretch to see how violence would strike their family in greater frequency than most people.
No, it was stubbornness that had ruined her parents’ marriage. Her dad had never given a shit about money. All he’d cared about was Sander’s Valley and his art. Money, food, material things? They’d meant nothing to him. Ronnie was grateful for his grounding influence. Had she been raised by a different man, she might never have opened her heart to Kyle.
Over the years, there’d been days she wished she hadn’t. The past few made her glad she had. He truly was an amazing man. She was grateful to have known him, gotten the chance to love him, and been on the receiving end of his smile. She only wished she could’ve been worthy of him. She was too much an Axel, however, driven by the legacy and the need to succeed. She didn’t know how to be anyone else.
Kyle glanced over his shoulder. “You’ve got to unlock the door.”
She shifted her gaze from his eyes to the entryway. Her legs turned to lead.
Kyle’s beloved face filled her vision a moment later. He cupped her cheeks. “Are you okay?”
She nodded.
“We don’t have to do this today. We can wait. Come back tomorrow or the next day.”
She wanted to take the escape he offered. She wasn’t ready to face her dad’s cabin. The last time she’d seen him was the same day she’d left Kyle. She’d even been too chicken to come to his funeral. Her mom had saved her. She’d piled tons of work on Ronnie so she didn’t have time to think about the years she’d lost or how her dad’s last words to her still echoed in her head.
“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life, Ronnie-girl. You walk away from Kyle, and you’ll end up a shell of a woman, just like your mama.”
The worst part was in knowing he’d spoken the truth, and she’d been too much of a coward to deal with it. Like with Kyle, she’d pushed her emotions aside and moved on, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why she couldn’t visit. Even on his deathbed, she’d found a reason not to see him. There’d been an exclusive showing at the gallery, and she hadn’t actually believed the doctors when they’d said his days were numbered. Her dad wasn’t going to die. He was too strong. That had been her reasoning. She’d been wrong. So very wrong. She never got the chance to say good-bye.
Sweet Jesus, she was the worst daughter…hell, the worst human being in the world.
Kyle’s face blurred. She couldn’t fight the tears. They poured out of her eyes as if somebody had turned on a faucet. He pulled her against him. She wrapped her arms around him and greedily took the comfort he offered. More guilt choked her. She’d forgotten the only man she’d ever loved too. None of her other boyfriends had ever touched her heart. They’d gotten her body only.
She cried harder. An apology sat on the tip of her tongue. She didn’t bother voicing it. In the face of what she’d done, it’d be lame anyway. She didn’t deserve his arms around her or his love. She deserved to be a shell of a woman, alone and bitter. Just like Mom.
He urged her to turn around. “Come on, doll. Let’s go home.”
Home? A noose tightened around her chest, cutting off her air. Her home was the empty ten-bedroom mansion with its boathouse, Olympic-sized pool, and tennis courts. Home was an empty bed where she slept when she wasn’t in the gallery. Home certainly wasn’t in the arms of a man who must’ve been an angel in a past life. A wicked one, but still an angel.
“No.” She pushed out of his arms. “I need to do this.” Because she don’t know if she’d ever gather the courage to return to Sander’s Valley again.
He studied her a long moment. A pleased look spread over his face. Did he think she was trying to be brave?
He lifted the trunk and made his way to the entryway. She stared at his back and almost told him the real reason. The words got stuck in her throat. Weak. She was so weak.
She opened the door and stepped inside. Everything looked exactly as she’d remembered, minus the dust and sheets covering the furniture. The rocking chair where her dad had read a book every night sat in front of the fireplace. The wooden box full of toys she’d played with as a child acted as the end table next to it. His empty easel stood near the full-length windows overlooking Sander’s Valley. She half expected to see him stride through the room.
She walked toward the balcony, shoved the sliding glass doors open, and stepped outside. The breeze lifted her hair and cooled her skin, easing the pain in her chest. The breathtaking view helped. So many memories surfaced. All happy ones. More tears ran down her face.
“I was so happy here. Why did I leave?”
She hadn’t realized she’d spoken the question out loud until Kyle stepped behind her, his hands on the railing on either side of hers. “Because you were stubborn.” He laid his chin on her shoulder. “But so was I.”
“I still am.” The confession came out as a whisper.
“Me too.” He kissed her neck. “Only difference is what I’m fighting for.”
She knew what he referred to—them. He’d hinted enough over the past few days for her to understand he wouldn’t let her go so easily. She asked anyway. “And that is?”
“Us.”
Two letters, one syllable, and the greatest single word she’d ever heard. She only wished she could say wholeheartedly she felt the same. A large part of her did. She loved Kyle, always had.
“I have the legacy to uphold, a gallery to run, and obligations that don’t include Sander’s Valley.” She spoke the words stopping her from returning his love.
“I know.”
No condemnation. No arguing. No trying to change her mind. She tilted her head to look at him. “My car is fixed, and as soon as we hang these paintings, I’ll have no reason to stay.”
Sadness filled his eyes. Instead of responding, he linked their fingers and led her inside. With steady and gentle hands, he unpacked the trunk she’d brought. The wrapping paper and packing got tossed aside, and the contents he spread on the floor.
&nb
sp; She covered her mouth to stifle her sob. All of the paintings were of her parents, only in each successive one, they’d aged until the last portrait of them seated in rocking chairs showed them exactly as they’d looked before they’d died.
Kyle handed her a letter. She opened it but couldn’t make out the words. Tears made them fuzzy. He took it and read:
To my darling husband,
Although our fingers never again touched, I held you in my heart. You were always with me through the years. I only hope that when we meet in heaven, I will have the courage to forgive myself as you had forgiven me on earth.
All my love,
Vivien
Kyle wrapped his arms around her while she cried for her parents and for them. She really was just like her mom. She couldn’t forgive herself. The sin committed had been different, but both Ronnie and her mom had hurt the men they’d loved.
Her feet left the floor. Kyle cradled her in his arms and strode from the cabin. He was being her hero again. She only hoped she could deal with her weaknesses and be his heroine before it was too late.
Chapter Ten
The ringing of a cell phone jerked Ronnie awake a couple of days later.
Kyle grumbled and tugged her against him, dropping a leg over hers. “Let it ring.”
“Can’t.” She shoved his leg off her. “That’s the ringtone I personalized for the PI.”
He peered at her through cracked lids. “And you did that because…?”
“Just a habit. I tend to ignore the generic tone. Important people get their own song.” She crawled across the bed, bent over the edge, and dug the phone out of her shorts pocket. It stopped ringing. She sighed. A moment later, a light blinked, informing her of a new message. All was not lost. “He told me he wouldn’t be able to start looking until Thursday or Friday. I’ve been expecting a call.”
“About where your mom hid that letter.”
She nodded. “Once I have it, I can begin to put this mess behind me. Well, after Mom’s killer is sentenced, I can. I’m not looking forward to facing the asshole who shot her and attacked me.”
Rewind & Go: A Blue-Collar Billionaire Romance (Sander's Valley Book 1) Page 8
