By midnight, a hue of red warmed the night sky. Lights on the firefighters’ helmets shone on the silhouettes of trees. Smoke billowed in the night sky like a dark gray cloud.
Hours later, Colby’s back ached. Exhaustion seeped into him. Soot smudged his face and the faces of the men around him. But they’d reached the end of the road. As he brushed sweat and grime from his face, word came down the line that the fire had been contained.
He straightened, squinted against the morning sunlight and relinquished his shovel to another volunteer as a shift change occurred.
“’Twas to be expected with this heat,” firefighters commented to anyone listening.
“Got lucky on this one,” Colby heard someone say.
In passing, he received a pat on his back. “Sure was good you called when you did, Colby.”
Beneath the canvas gloves, blisters had formed. He yanked off the gloves, stared at the raw flesh. “I’m not the one to thank.” He’d take a shower, catch a few hours’ sleep, then go see Tessa.
“I heard that. Could say she’s a hero.”
Another man nearby grunted. “Could say.”
Grudging acceptance. Tessa would be satisfied with that for now. And in time, people would see past what they viewed as odd. They’d learn about the woman who brought smiles to the faces of sick children, who gave up time to help the townspeople whatever way she could. They’d learn what he knew. She was special.
After showering and dressing, he drove toward town.
He didn’t bother to sleep, was running on adrenaline, trying to come up with the right words to convince her that he wasn’t a jerk. He’d let her down, he knew. Sure he’d called in the fire, driven to the site, but he’d struggled with disbelief. And she’d seen that. Then she’d heard people and their words, spooky, weird. She’d expected the worst and had walked away from him because she didn’t think he was strong enough.
He braked in front of Mystic Treasures, uncertain what to say to her. What words would reach her? She’d been hurt by two men who should have loved her more. How did he convince her that he wasn’t like either one of them?
Oh, hell, he was, wasn’t he? He halted before taking another step. What happened between Tessa and him was his fault. She’d needed to know he loved her, and he’d never said the words. He’d let Diana do a real number on him, he realized. Because of some dumb thinking, he’d never told Tessa that he loved her. No wonder she doubted that he’d stick around if the going got tough.
Without enthusiasm, Tessa pushed the broom around the storeroom floor. When she’d awakened, she’d considered burying her head beneath the pillow until the ache within her had subsided. On legs that had felt like lead, she’d moved out of bed, showered and dressed. But nearly three hours had passed since then. She man aged thin smiles for customers, mumbled a few words to Marla before her assistant took off for her breakfast at Lou’s grocery store, a one-story white building that was a combination grocery and drugstore.
She hated the thought of telling Marla the store was closing. A lump settled in Tessa’s throat as she looked around her. She didn’t want to give up the store. She didn’t want to move away. She just wanted to curl up somewhere and cry.
Love for Colby filled her. She’d never thought she’d find love, never expected the happiness she’d known with him. She’d wanted to hold on to it, and her love for him, but if he kept being with her, one day he’d have to defend her, face ridicule for being with her. She couldn’t be the one to take friendships and a sense of belonging away from him.
In a rush, Marla burst into the store. She dangled a bag from Lou’s. Tessa assumed it was her usual apple Danish. “Tessa!” Excitement raised her voice an octave. “Everyone is talking about you.”
She’d expected that. She’d done something yesterday that had forced her gift in everyone’s face. No hiding anymore.
“You’re a hero. Or is that a heroine? No, I think you’re a hero.”
Tessa raised her head. “People aren’t saying I’m weird?”
“You aren’t weird, just different,” Marla returned lightly.
Marla made her smile despite the sadness shadowing her. “Thank you.”
“Well, you are different. But good different. And everyone knows that now.”
It all sounded too easy to Tessa.
“Everything is going so well. I’m so happy for you.” She gave Tessa a hug. “And you have Colby, too. This is almost like a fairy-tale ending, Tessa.”
Hardly. She’d lost her store, her livelihood. She’d have to move. She hated to burst Marla’s romantic bubble, but Tessa couldn’t let her go on about Colby. It hurt too much to think about him. “Marla, I’m not seeing Colby anymore.”
“Why?” Marla’s voice was troubled. “I know what I saw, Tessa. With these,” she said, pointing at her eyes. “He’s crazy about you. He can’t keep his hands off you. He—”
“Is gone,” Tessa said with feigned calmness. She eyed a love potion. If only it could be sprinkled on someone and make everything right.
“I think you’re wrong,” Marla said from behind her.
Tessa pivoted, determined to be firm with her friend. Her first thought was that she was imagining he was there, leaning against the doorjamb. In a heartbeat, her mind betrayed her with wishful thoughts about love and forever.
An instant later, she wanted to yell at Colby to go away. Didn’t he understand that she was trying to protect both of them from more hurt? After struggling all night to convince herself that she’d been right to break away, she felt confused and uncertain. She drew a deep breath, emotionally seesawing between a yearning to yell and a longing to cry. Most of all, she wanted to step into his arms.
What did it matter what she felt? She couldn’t make him love her and she couldn’t settle for less. She couldn’t stand to give everything of herself, love him, then be left. She didn’t want to be hurt as her mother had been. She didn’t want to believe in love and learn she never had it. “I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I came to get my palm read,” Colby said.
“You don’t believe in such things.”
“That’s what we need to talk about.” Behind him, the bell above the door rang. Under his breath, he cursed before he turned to see the customer.
Looking as displeased as ever, Leone entered the store.
“I’ll wait on her,” Marla volunteered.
Tessa reached out and touched Marla’s arm to stop her. “She isn’t here to buy anything.” Could the day get worse? Tessa wondered. What could she want now?
Leone’s eyes shifted from Colby to Tessa. “I was told that you no longer are helping with the investigation about Harriet Martel’s murder.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Is there something you want to know?” Colby asked Leone.
“No.” She faced Tessa. “I would like to talk to you.” Her chin lifted to a superior tilt as she looked Colby’s way. “Alone.”
He didn’t look fazed by her dismissal or inclined to move.
Tessa swept an arm toward the storeroom. She’d tried to measure the woman’s mood, but felt only the usual hostility. “We can talk in there.”
Colby raised a halting hand. “Never mind. I’ll do some crystal gazing.”
Leone scowled after him. “He isn’t serious.”
Tessa couldn’t help smiling. That was so Colby. He’d chosen a deliberate way to side with Tessa. Oh, she didn’t doubt he meant well, wanted her. But no ordinary feelings from a man worked for her. They hadn’t for her mother, either. Tessa knew what she needed. She needed a strong man, a strong love.
Looking uncertain, Marla hovered at the storeroom doorway before disappearing into the room.
Leone cleared her throat, demanded Tessa’s attention. “I learned that you alerted everyone about the fire,” she finally said, obviously satisfied with their privacy. “Townspeople are grateful. Several of the town council members opposed my efforts to close your store.”
&n
bsp; It took a moment before her words sunk in, before Tessa realized what Leone was really saying. Some people didn’t want her gone. Though she doubted that would change the final outcome, she felt good in knowing a few people were on her side.
“They’re of no mind. I have enough influence to override them, but I believe in returning favors,” Leone said grudgingly.
“Favors?” Despite Tessa’s confusion, a thread of hope quickened her heart.
“I’ve come to tell you that I won’t persist in trying to close your store. What’s best for this town matters most to me.”
Tessa was dumbfounded. She hadn’t thought anything would change Leone’s mind. She swept a look around her, absorbed everything in the room. She’d be able to stay. Maybe she’d even make more friends, if what Marla had said was true. Her gaze shifted to Colby. No, she couldn’t stay. Never would she hurt him, but she wanted Leone to know what she felt. “Mrs. Burton, I don’t want to harm this town.” Tessa waited for the woman’s eyes to meet hers. “I don’t understand why you’re so angry with me. We hardly know each other.”
“I knew your mother,” Leone said crisply. “You look a great deal like her.”
My biggest sin, Tessa mused. But why?
“I knew your father, also.”
“My father?” That was news. “You knew him?”
“Do you really expect me to believe that you didn’t know about us?”
Tessa was baffled. “I’m sorry. Us?”
A brittleness tinged Leone’s voice. “I assumed your mother would tell you, brag how she was the one he chose, that he walked away from me for her.”
A sick feeling settled in Tessa’s stomach. She recalled the rancher’s words about everyone thinking Tessa’s father would marry some other woman. Leone. That woman had been Leone.
“I was the one Steven was engaged to.” As if alone, she stared with distant eyes. “Do you know what it’s like to have the man you love walk away from you?”
How ironic, Tessa mused. Her father had done just that to her mother, too. But no one knew. And here was Leone admitting that as a young girl, madly in love, she’d felt the same emotion her mother had because of the same man.
“She used her strange way on him,” Leone said. “It was her fault that I lost the most wonderful man in the world. And then your mother didn’t even appreciate him. When she tired of him, he was so humiliated that he left town.”
Tessa was stunned. Leone really believed that Cassandra had taken her love away from her, and when Cassandra had tired of him had sent him out of her life. No one knew he’d left her. No one knew that he’d been a weak man.
Tessa remembered Louise’s comment about her mother being restless, wanting to travel. What she’d really wanted was a home and family. Abandoned by her husband, she’d left Rumor. She’d let people believe that she was dissatisfied with her life in Rumor rather than let them learn she’d been deserted.
“You’re like her. I know you are.”
Tessa felt so sad suddenly. After all these years, the woman still carried the hurt and heartache of that first lost love, still was looking to blame someone and unfairly had chosen Tessa’s mother. How wrong Leone was about Tessa’s father.
Leone believed Tessa’s mother had been guaranteed the love of her life because of her gift. But there were no guarantees in love.
Tessa looked away from Leone’s tight-lipped expression. Colby stood by the crystal balls, turning one in his hand. Oh, how silly she’d been. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Mrs. Burton. But yes, I am like her,” she said honestly.
Tessa faced her own dragon. Most of her adult life, she’d worried she’d lose at love just as her mother had. She’d wanted a guarantee that Colby would love her forever. Rather than risk the kind of rejection her mother had felt, rather than take a chance at happiness, she’d turned away from him. She’d worried so much that, when he’d offered her everything she wanted, she was too afraid to believe in it.
“Did she give you more trouble?” Colby’s voice broke through her thoughts.
Lost in them, she’d been unaware Leone had left. Tessa watched the door closing behind her. “No.” Even as she craved to feel his arms around her, she stayed rooted to the spot. “She’s leaving me alone.”
“That’s good.”
Desperately she searched for something to say. “Is there any news about the investigation?”
“No. But I’m not giving up. We’ll find Harriet’s killer.”
Tessa wished she’d given him the name of the person. “Is the fire out?” she asked to prevent an uncomfortable silence.
“Almost.” He stepped closer, touched her arm. “Because of you.” He frowned. “I didn’t understand, Tessa. I didn’t believe. I do now.”
Tessa was speechless. Words she’d never expected him to say quickened her pulse.
“And you might not believe this right now, but you will in time. I will always believe in you.”
She could hardly breathe. He really believed in her. She saw the truth in his eyes.
“I love you, Tessa.” He moved a hand to her waist. Though his touch was light, she felt tension in his fingers. “I love everything about you. I love just being with you.”
Tears came to her eyes. No one had ever said such words to her. A dream she’d carried with her all her life was within reach. She released an astonished laugh as tears fell. This was all she’d ever wanted. “I love you, too.” His lips silenced her, meeting hers with a kiss so gentle and loving that she swayed into him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her mouth. “All that’s happened between us is my fault.”
Tilting her head, she shook it. “No, it wasn’t. I’ve had a hard time believing in you because so many people never believed in me. I saw how hurt my mother had been because the person she loved the most had turned his back on her and left.”
“Your father?”
“Yes.” She placed her hand on his chest, felt the steady beat of his heart. “The heartache was always a part of us. My mother always seemed so lost. I never wanted to feel that way, to let a man leave me. He abandoned us, Colby. He simply got up one day and walked out of her life.”
“And you thought I’d do the same thing.”
Breathing seemed difficult. “I thought if I left first that you’d be happier.”
“I’m supposed to be happier without you?” He tugged her close again. “Wrong. Since I met you, this is the first time you’ve said something batty. Astral planes, cosmic energies, charms and crystal balls all make sense in their own way. This doesn’t.”
“But it wasn’t about you.” She coiled her arms around his neck, not thinking about anything except how much she needed him. “That’s what I realized. I only convinced myself it was. It was all about me. I’ve been afraid.”
“You had good reason,” he said understandingly. “You’ve been ridiculed and rejected. You needed reassurances. I never said the words you needed to hear. A bruised pride made me hold back. No more. Tessa—” He paused, frowned and looked down with the ring of his cell phone.
“You’re ringing.”
Reverently he brushed strands of hair from her cheek. “Forget it.”
She couldn’t help smiling. “No. You need to answer the call.”
His eyes locked on hers, turned deadly serious. “Do I?”
“Yes. You really do.” In his eyes, she saw acceptance and more—she saw faith in her. He believed in her. Joy filled her heart. He really believed in her.
“Yes,” he said to the caller, then after a moment, he laughed. “Thanks for calling.”
Knowing, Tessa beamed. “Good news.”
Smiling, he kissed the tip of her nose. “You know it was. Ladyfair is pregnant. That was the vet. The second lab tests confirmed her pregnancy.”
Tessa curled her arms around his waist. “So you got what you wanted.”
“Not yet.” He crushed her to him as if he’d never let her go. “Marry me.”
H
appiness filled her heart. More than anything else in the world, she wanted to say yes. “I do love you.” She crumbled beneath her own words, tightened her arms on him. “But, Colby, marriage is—”
“What I want.” He drew back to see her face. “You don’t?”
She couldn’t lie. She wanted it, a home, a family. Those were dreams of a lifetime. “Yes, I do. You know I do, but—”
Lightly he pressed fingertips to her lips to silence her. “Tessa, you can’t say, ‘yes, but,’ when a man asks you to marry him. I believe in you. I will always believe in you. Whatever happens we’ll deal with it.”
“If we have children—”
His smile widened. “I like that idea.” He chuckled. “And my mother would be thrilled.”
She felt a lightness beginning to grab hold. “A daughter would be like me, Colby.” She thought he needed a reminder. “She’ll—”
“I know.” He captured her eyes with his steadfast stare. “She’ll be just like her mother. Beautiful.” He took her face in his hands.
Gently his mouth pressed down on hers. In the kiss was a promise that he’d be there for her—always. She hadn’t thought she’d ever find love, find a man who’d accept everything about her.
“And special,” he murmured against her mouth.
Tessa answered his long, lingering kiss. All she’d ever wanted was finally hers.
ISBN: 978-14592-0270-2
BIG SKY COWBOY
Copyright © 2002 by Harlequin Books S.A.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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