My eyes shift to her pale face, the black circles under her eyes. I feel nothing. Sinking to our bed, I put my hands over my face.
“Tess… I’m begging you not to do this. I love this baby already.” I’m saying all this like a robot, knowing it’s pointless but needing to try. Try for that little boy or girl who is ours.
“I know you don’t feel good. And you’re scared of becoming Claire and your dad. I know they made you think you can’t do this. But you can! You’re strong and healthy. The girl that I love would never even think these thoughts.” Somehow, I’m searching her face. She’s like a zombie. Dead inside. I grab her shoulders and shake her. “What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing! I don’t want to be a mother! I shouldn’t be punished for that!” she screams in my face.
I drop my hands like she has singed them. My stomach cramps and I might be sick.
“I won’t bring a child into this world and fuck it up. I want you—that’s it. Can’t that be enough?”
“If you abort our baby against my wishes, I won’t stay. I can’t.”
She grows even paler if that’s possible, her thin frame sinking to the floor.
“You’re threatening me?” Her voice is surprisingly calm as she starts to laugh. “Everybody thinks they can control me, threaten me. Well, I’m not going to be bullied into doing something I don’t want.” She’s shaking.
I look down at her. “What are you going to do, Tess?”
For a split second, she must realize what she is doing is crazy. Then she looks down and whispers, “I’m going to find a clinic and put this behind us.”
“Jesus Christ.” I run my hands through my hair. “I hate you!” It sounds childish, but I want her to know. “You are fucked in the head. Who says that? Like you are going to get your teeth cleaned at the dentist.”
I don’t trust myself to be around her. I need to leave. Get some air and try to talk to her later.
“You’re a liar,” I say. “I should never have taken you back when you lied for three years. But I loved you.”
“You can call me a lot of things, but I never lied. I’m not mentally capable of taking care of a baby. Maybe when we’re older.”
My mind can’t deal with this. I feel a migraine. Or I’m having a brain aneurysm because this kind of burn can’t be described. I stumble into the bathroom.
This isn’t pain; this is agony. Death would be easier than having to live through this.
I hear a sound that gives me goose bumps. Makes my skin crawl. It’s guttural, primal, and its pure pain! And it’s coming from me. I can’t stop it. Tess is pounding on the door, screaming for me to let her in.
But… it’s too late. There is no Tess. She was only an image. A person I thought I loved. A beautiful viper with the face of an angel. A weak, soulless oxygen thief. A murderer—that’s the real Tess!
“Fuck!” I see myself for a split second in the mirror. Then my fist shatters my image. Looking down, I’m standing in a pool of shattered glass, the mirror splintered all around me. Tiny shards like falling snow surround me. Splintered pieces, with drops of crimson red. My hand is bleeding, but I feel nothing. Dead! Dead like my whole fucked-up life. Dead like our baby will soon be. I reach for my heart. My tattoo, it’s instinctual, it will calm me. I rub and rub. Blood covers the area where my heart is, where my tattoo is. This is a lie; my fingernails scrape my skin. I should have gotten rid of it a long time ago. I can get rid of it now. My pain isn’t because I’m cutting up my tattoo. It’s the pain of my heart dying. The pain of Reed dying. Finally, I drop the shard of glass. My chest is in ribbons where the name Tess used to be. What the fuck am I doing? Absently figuring out what I’ve done, I hear nothing, which is strange since New York is never silent. No horns, no screaming, just silence. Opening the door, I face her. Her beautiful ashen face. So beautiful. Her big eyes horrified at my appearance. Her cheeks wet with her tears, her lips red and swollen. Her mouth is moving, but I hear nothing. I push her hands aside, and she frantically latches her nails into my arm. With her other hand, she tries to check my chest.
“Don’t touch me,” I snarl. She does anyway, her hand crimson.
“I’m leaving.”
“Reed, what have you done?” It’s like a bullhorn going off in my head and I can hear again. Noises pound at me from all directions. The horns, the yelling, and the sobbing hysterics of the shell of the woman I loved.
“I’m leaving you.”
TESS
Present day – twenty-five years old
New York, NY
“Mommy… Mommy? Wake up.” My eyes blink open as I stare at my secret. My reason for living, that and my other bundle of trouble.
“Uncie Bwance, sas we here.” My soon-to-be three-year-old son climbs onto my lap.
“We’re here,” I correct him. He turns and snuggles into my neck, taking a deep breath, and sighs.
“Yow smell goowd, Mommy.”
He’s such a little charmer. “Thanks, baby.” I smile. “You smell good too.” I ruffle his dark curls. One of his fat cheeks is rosier than the other. He must have slept on it.
“Where’s your sister?” I ask, looking around the plane.
“With Uncie Bwance.” He smiles, and my heart skips a beat. Out pop two dimples, one on each side, just like his father’s.
“Mommy?” I wipe away a tear that escaped despite my rapid blinking.
He places both his chubby hands on my cheeks, his cute nose wrinkled. “Mommy sad?” His eyes fill with big fat tears too.
“No, Mommy’s fine.” I smile as another tear slides down my cheek.
“Then why are yow cwying?”
“So, smart.” I take a calming breath. “Mommy’s a little sad about Great-Grandpa Ian passing.” I give him a tight hug, my nose stuck in his warm cheek.
“Um... Mommy?”
I pull away and smile. “I love you so much. You be my good boy while we are visiting, okay?” He nods, happily snuggling in my arms and playing with my watch.
“We get to see Gwandma, Gwandpa, and Uncie Jax.” I cringe. This is so bad. How are my children ever going to understand this?
I stare at my perfect son, the exact replica of his father. Except that Reed has turquoise eyes. Luke and Lilly, have deep green eyes. Other than that, there is no denying who the father is. At least Lilly looks a little like me. She has my lips and nose.
“Luke…?” Snapping my mouth closed, my mind spins. What am I going to tell him? I have been keeping you and your sister from your father. He thought I aborted you, so he deserted us?
He’s not even three yet, won’t be for another two weeks.
Leaning my head back, Luke snuggles in my lap, my guilt eating at me. I kiss the top of his head, and I almost hear the phone ringing again.
“Hello?”
“Tess, honey, it’s Dr. Miller. I’ve been trying to reach you all morning. Everything all right?” I almost start laughing. I have to bite my tongue not to scream out that Reed has left me because I don’t want his baby.
“Tess?”
Clearing my voice, I try to speak. It’s hoarse with all the screaming and crying I’ve been doing. “I’m here.”
Silence. “Well… you are indeed pregnant and according to your HCG levels, it’s very likely you are carrying twins. Now, I have made an appointment with the best doctor in Manhattan…”
“Mommy? You seeping?” My eyes bolt open and I blow out some air. That phone call changed everything.
“Mommy!” Lilly, comes hard, charging straight into my arms. She shoves at her brother, trying to push him off my lap. He wraps his arms around my neck.
“No, Luke, I want Mommy.” She pushes again.
“Both of you stop. Mommy has two legs, one for each of you.” My arms surround both of them tightly.
“Uncle Bwance says you need to get it together.” She takes my face with her chubby hands, holding it so that I’m forced to give her my undivided attention. Lilly repeats everything Brance t
ells her. See, my daughter is almost three but going on thirty and Brance’s best confidante.
“He does, huh? I’ll do my best.” It’s impossible to hide my smile.
“Now I need you both to listen. Mommy is really nervous and sad. This is a different visit. We’re not coming just to see Grandma and Grandpa. I need you two to stay right with me or Uncle Brance, okay?”
I grab Luke’s hand away from his sister’s hair. “Luke, stop pulling her hair.”
“But Mommy, she won’t shware,” he says.
“I share,” she whines.
“Enough! Stay with me or Brance, all right?” Looking at them, I sense my heart fluttering. They are quite frankly remarkable. The most pure and good thing Reed and I have ever created. He’s going to want them. I know it in my gut.
I should hide. Run away. Nothing good is going to come of this. Glancing down, both of them are playing happily with their toys. No matter what I do, he is going to find out, Jax has assured me.
“What are you doing?” I jump at Brance’s snippy tone.
“Go and fix your makeup. I see the Bentley. Jax is waiting.” He leans over me to stare out the window.
“Brance?” I grab his arm and drag him away from Lilly and Luke.
“I have a bad feeling. Like I know this is going to be horrific!” I’m in a full panic.
He grabs me by the shoulders. “Not now. Not in front of them.” He motions to the twins with his eyes. I look over at them. Luke is still blissfully playing while Lilly watches us, too smart for her own good. Her green eyes look away and I snarl at Brance, “Do not take your eyes off them.”
“Tess, he is not going to kidnap them. It’s his grandfather’s funeral.”
“You don’t know that. We have no idea what he is capable of, remember?” I hiss.
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.
“You two ready? The doors are opening.” We both glance over at Jay. He gives me a nod.
Don’t show him weakness. Jay’s words replay in my head.
Squaring my shoulders back, I grab my bag. Not even bothering with a mirror, I slather on some lip gloss. “I’m ready.”
But I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. “Wait.” I look at my children. “Do you need to use the potty?” Lilly has been potty trained since two. Luke got the hang of it last month.
“Nope, I just went,” Lilly says as she tries to wiggle her hand in my purse. She pulls out some lip gloss.
“Honey, not today. No lip gloss.” She pouts as I take it away. I look at Brance, who is staring at her like she is a genius. “Can you help?”
He chuckles. “Come on, princess. I think I saw Uncle Jax.” He takes her hand, helping her put on her glittery unicorn backpack.
“What if he tries to take them away?” I try to breathe as I put on Luke’s backpack.
His angry gaze swings to mine. “We can afford lawyers who are at least as good as his. Let him try,” he whispers.
The doors open with a smooth swish. Jay exits first, then Brance and Lilly.
Looking down at Luke, I smile reassuringly. “Ready?”
“I have to go pee-pee.” He jumps from one foot to the other.
I almost cry; my nerves are completely shot. “Such a good boy, Luke. Let’s hurry, though. Your sister is already outside.” I quickly pull him into the bathroom, almost unable to pull his pants down fast enough. My mind is in a frenzy. Lilly is with Brance. He would kill for her. She’s safe.
“Come on, baby, it’s time.” Quickly helping him wash his hands, I don’t even bother to take time to put his backpack on. I swing it over my shoulder along with my purse and drag Luke down the stairs, needing to get to my daughter.
“Mommy, your face is wet,” Luke tells me.
“Mommy’s a little tired. We’ll get some food when we get to the hotel.” I smile.
“Good, I’m hungwy.” His dimples peek at me. Glancing away, I focus on finding Lilly.
Jax has her in his arms. Brance is standing next to him, watching.
I sigh with relief. Brance is right—I do have to pull myself together. Taking the last step, I let go of Luke’s hand and let him run to his uncle.
Slowly I make my way to them. Jax has both of them in his arms and kneels down so that he is on their level. Lilly is talking nonstop and Luke is crawling on his back.
“Hey, Jax.” I give a him a sad smile when he looks up at me. His turquoise eyes look tired.
“Tess.” He stands, taking Luke with him on his back and picking up Lilly. She squeals with delight, happily wrapping her arms around his neck. He looks away from me, focusing on Lilly and Luke.
“So…” Brance yells over an airplane taking off. Luke looks up at the plane, his eyes so alive with knowledge.
“Tess and I are going to take Luke and Lilly to the hotel and get checked in,” he informs Jax, who ignores him and continues to play with the twins.
Frowning, I say, “Jax?”
And then I know. Dread like a deadly snake slithers up my spine.
Jay opens the back door of the Bentley. Fear takes over my body. I’m frozen. This can’t be happening. I’m not ready.
I know why Jax is ignoring me, concentrating only on his niece and nephew.
I don’t have to look over to see him. I can feel him. That pull, like a magical string that never fully snapped. My eyes swing to Jax’s, my mind still trying to absorb that he is going to know. Frantically I snatch Lilly out of his traitorous arms. But Luke is still on Jax’s back.
“Tess… I warned you. Tried to reason with you.”
I want to scream. Instead I snarl, “Give me my son, Jax.”
“He’s fine, Tess. Relax.” His voice is completely calm.
“You promised,” I hiss. “Now give me my son!”
Jax’s eyes lock onto mine. “I never promised. It’s over, Tess.” As he swings Luke around, he hands him to me. I put one on either side of my hips. Along with my bag and their backpacks, I wonder if I’m going to topple over.
“Mommy?” Both Luke and Lilly look scared. For the first time in my life, I don’t let fear control me.
Fuck this!
I’m their mother and I will do anything to protect them. “It’s okay, babies. Mommy’s got you!” I kiss their dark curls, holding them so tight Luke is making a face. I hear Brance swearing; Jax is holding him back.
Turning around to face my enemy, I stand frozen and blink at the face that has haunted me for more than three years.
Reed!
To Be Continued…
If you enjoyed The Entitled, please leave a review.
Thank you.
Reed and Tess conclude in The Enlightened
Book 2 of The Entitled Duet
Coming soon
My secret’s out. Reed knows the truth.
The destruction’s done. There’s no taking it back.
Reed took all my firsts like a shiny present. He made promises with silky words I greedily kept as truths. But the moment I faltered, he took away everything.
Now we’re both guilty of sins.
As we come together for Grandfather Ian’s funeral, it’s time to face what I’ve done—what we’ve done. The boy I’ve loved since age eight is now a man, his rage palpable, his turquoise eyes piercing me with an intensity that sets me on fire. Each delicious kiss seems to peel away our ugly past—a past we’re desperate to escape.
They say forgiveness comes from within. Can I trust him to forgive me? Have we both been enlightened?
I used to believe in the fantasy of a happily ever after. Trouble is my life’s not a fairy tale.
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NEWSLETTER www.cassandrafayerobbins.com
First, I h
ave to thank my wonderful husband Mark. He has supported and loved me even with all my craziness for years. I’m just so happy I got drunk on margaritas and said yes! To my incredible children who think I’m the best mom in the world. Best kids ever! To my brothers Chris, Duke, and Jake, I’m so lucky to have you guys. To Dahlia Narvaez, my sister-in-law. Not only did you let me read to you constantly, you were my food guru. To my dad, your support and love mean everything to me. I love you all so much.
To my incredible editor, Nikki Busch. Your guidance and ability to smooth out my sentences—and let’s not forget removing my commas—is a feat in itself. I loved The Entitled from the beginning, and you turned it into something I’m extremely proud of. Thank you. My cover designer, Michele Catalano, you are a true artist. Thank you for creating pure magic and for capturing Tess and Reed so perfectly.
To the Next Step PR Services, all of you are unbelievable. Thank you! Colleen Oppenheim, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you do—so lucky I found you. To my best friend Jean and her fantastic husband Richard: Jean, your support, endless patience, and help with all my writing can’t be expressed. To Bex Dane, your knowledge astounds me. Not only are you a great author, but your help is unbelievably appreciated. Naomi Springthorp and Auden Dar, your good energy and help were amazing. To my betas—Ann Marie, Regina, Annie, Debbie, and Sarah—I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Love you guys.
I want to give a big thanks to our Minnesota family. I couldn’t ask for a better cheerleading squad, and it means the world to me. Connor, your videos are fantastic! I can’t wait to do more. To all my friends on Facebook and Alessandra Torre Inkers, I literally learned how to self-publish from all of you. To all my friends I didn’t get to mention, if you are in my life, you’re important. To my mother, Alma. She installed in me the joys of reading and was the greatest woman I know. She was more than my mother; she was my best friend. I miss her every day. I know this book would make her proud. My last thank-you is to you, my readers who bought this book. I hope you enjoyed it. I loved writing it and can’t wait to carry on with this duet.
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