by Lucy Lambert
But now I did. And it was because of Charlie. There was something about her that affected me deeply. Maybe more than I cared to admit.
“I don’t do this sort of thing lightly, Alex. I don’t… deal well with consequences when things go wrong,” she said. She rolled onto her side now, facing away from me.
I frowned. Then I put my hand on her shoulder and urged her to look at me, “I want you to tell me what happened to you. Did someone hurt you? A man?”
“Nothing I didn’t deserve,” she said, a mirthless smile on her face, “I have some commitment problems, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“I haven’t noticed much other than you for the last little while.”
Even in the shadows of the bedroom I saw the way she blushed at that. Some heat stirred inside of me as well. I was always ready for seconds (and even thirds) when it came to sex, but I chose not to push it.
There was something far more arousing about getting to know what made Charlie tick.
She took it big breath and sighed it all out, her bare shoulders rising and falling. Unable to resist, I leaned in and kissed the one closest to me. I tingled all over with desire, and I knew she did too.
“So what is it? Or am I going to have to resort to… harsher methods to wring it out of you?” I asked, letting the tips of my fingers slide over her collarbone and then down the sensitive skin between her breasts.
She sucked in a breath at that, and I thought she might actually go for, and pardon the pun here, the hard way. Not that I minded.
“About sixth months ago my boyfriend and I broke up. We’d been going steady for a few years. His name was Brady,” she said.
“You weren’t the one who broke it off,” I said. It wasn’t a question. She still nodded, though.
She sat up, leaning forward to grab the sheet and pull it up to her waist. Then she hugged her knees to her chest. I pushed up on my elbows, admiring the curve of her back.
“He broke up over a text message. A text!” she said, “He said that he couldn’t see this, us, going on forever. We used to fight a lot about my work. He always told me he thought I loved my job more than him. I thought we’d worked through it, but apparently not.”
I could see it all now. It was classic. She gets dumped so she buries her feelings by focusing even more on her job. Which had to really eat even more at her since her ex blamed the break-up on said job.
“I’m glad,” I said.
She jerked and looked back at me. “What?”
“Most people probably tell you how much that sucks, that they’re sorry it didn’t work out. But I’m glad. Because Brady was stupid enough to leave an amazing woman like you it gave us the chance to get to know each other.”
“I guess,” she said. If she was still carrying a torch for this son of a bitch Brady, the flame had begun to gutter. She looked at the pile of clothes on the floor, “I wonder if my phone’s okay after all that rain?”
“Tell me, would you get back together with Brady if you had the chance?” I ignored the phone bit. I figured she probably had some old pictures of text conversations or something from before the break up that she used to torture herself with.
“I used to think so,” she replied.
“And now?” I asked.
“Now I don’t want to talk about him anymore,” she said. From the tone in her voice that little fact sounded like it surprised her more than it should have.
“I think I have something we can do instead,” I said. I put my hands on her shoulders and eased her onto her back. She stopped holding her knees, and I could see her eyes staring up at mine.
“I think that would be nice,” she said, putting one hand on my bare chest.
An incredible desire to be with her again thrummed through me. I ached with it.
I tore the sheet off her, exposing her beautiful body again. And then my mouth found hers. This was perfect. Nothing could ruin it.
Nothing could ruin it except Alisha that was.
The rain streaked down the plate glass windows that made up two of the walls. If I cared to look, I knew that the uniform greyness to the sky would have made the river one long ribbon of undulating steel.
I’d reluctantly left Charlie’s apartment to come into the office for a few hours’ work. The paperwork, the voicemails, the emails, they all started piling up rather quickly.
But I went through them happily enough, as though being with Charlie made everything else less important.
My shirt had finally begun to dry when the door to my office opened.
“I thought you might be here,” Alisha said, “How was yet another day with all those people with their tiny, boring lives?” She closed the door behind her and stood in front of it, her hands on her hips.
I no longer cared about how her skirt hugged those hips, or how her tailored jacket came in at the waist to display her perfect figure. And my stomach did a slow, sickening flip when I saw how many buttons she’d left undone on her blouse.
“More interesting than being with you ever was,” I said, my gaze settling easily on the LED flat screen on my desk.
The air filled with static. But it wasn’t thunder outside. It was Alisha’s demeanor turning stormy.
“You spent it with her, didn’t you?” Alisha said.
I ignored her. Her type survived on attention, I knew. I hadn’t quite come up with a way to get rid of her cleanly yet, but I knew I would soon enough.
“You’re playing a dangerous game here, Alex,” she said, “One text from me and you can kiss this image of the new Alexander Crossley goodbye. I wonder how many points the stock would fall? I wonder how fast your high school fantasy teacher would find herself out on her ass?”
I looked up at her. Something in my face made her grin falter for a moment before she could plaster it back to her face.
“Strike a nerve? This is ridiculous, Alex! Why can’t you see? You’ve known each other what, a week now? Admit it, you just wanted her because for once a pretty girl didn’t want you. And now that you have her I’m guessing you’re going to lose interest fast, just like you always do.”
I couldn’t help watching the way her lips wormed around on her face while she spoke. My stomach churned again. How could I have ever wanted to kiss those?
She continued, “That’s it, wasn’t it? You were with her, weren’t you? Disappointing I bet. Probably just as frigid in bed as she is in school. Maybe you’re reconsidering?”
I sighed and pushed up from my desk. A look of triumph flickered over Alisha’s face. I walked over to her, cupped her faced in my hands, my fingers pressing little white dimples into her cheeks. I made sure her eyes were locked to mine.
“I’ll never be with you again. And the longer you try and blackmail me the worse this is going to turn out for you.”
She licked her lips, her eyes flicking down to my mouth and then back up. “Come on, why don’t we do it right here. On your desk. I promise it’ll be better than she could ever be.”
“Just get out,” I said. I opened the door, took her by the upper arm, and guided her out into the hall. My secretary wisely kept her eyes on her computer monitor.
I closed the door, finally alone in my office again. I wiped my palms off on the thighs of my slacks, wanting to get the feel of her off me.
I sat down again, but my eyes couldn’t focus. If Charlie hadn’t been involved, I would have fired Alisha at the first hint of this and not cared about the consequences. If it had been any woman but Charlie I still might have, not caring about the consequences for her either.
But it was Charlie, and I did care.
She was having a bigger effect on me than I cared to admit, even to myself.
Chapter 20
CHARLIE
“Something is different,” Ash said.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I replied, knowing exactly what she meant. I gave Rufus’s leash a gentle tug when an old lady walking one of those walking puffball Pomeranians went by on the other si
de of the sidewalk.
Rufus harrumphed at that but then went to make his mark on the red fire hydrant.
Ash had come over to pick me up so that we could both grab some groceries, what with my old Camry out of commission.
Also the leaves on the trees had really begun to turn and they looked beautiful ruffling in the cool fall breeze.
“You’re happy. Glowing, almost,” she said.
“I’m the same old Charlie,” I said, feeling my cheeks heat up. I looked away so that she couldn’t catch my eyes.
“Char, tell me what’s up or you’re walking your cute butt to the grocery store and back.”
I hesitated. Rufus snuffled at the yellowing fall grass and let out a great snort. Do I keep it a secret? I knew objectively that I should. Not that I didn’t trust Ash.
It’s just that I was feeling cautiously optimistic for the first time in a long time, and this felt like one of those things that if you even breathed a word of it, it disappeared. Like a lovely dream that slipped from your mind the more you tried remembering it.
But I had to tell someone. Just the thought of keeping it completely to myself knotted my stomach. Because I was happy. And wasn’t it all right to share happiness?
“You know how my car broke down in the school lot?” I said. God, even just thinking about it makes my whole body burn.
“I’m here to chauffeur your butt around, aren’t I?” she said, grinning.
“Well… I didn’t take the bus home. I got a ride from Alex. And then… I kind of… invited him up to my apartment.” I let the rest hang in the air between us. Some things were better left to the imagination, unspoken.
My imagination, of course, replayed every part of it in great detail. The heat in my cheeks spread to the rest of me.
Ash caught my drift. “You what?”
“I…” I started. She cut me off, coming to stand right in front of me. This startled Rufus, who sat on his haunches and watched us, tongue lolling out of one side of his mouth.
“I know what you mean! Char, this is incredible! I’m just so happy that you’re finally moving on. You have to let that stuff go or else it eats you up.”
“I’m not hanging onto anything,” I said, thinking guiltily of how I hadn’t deleted Brady’s breakup message from my phone yet. Shouldn’t I do that? I told Alex I was over Brady. I am, aren’t I?
Ash gave me a look that said, Now, neither of us believes that, do we? “It’s a start at least. And you just had to go on the rebound with the most eligible bachelor in Chicago! Hey, wasn’t that woman at the school this week?”
“What…?” I said, looking back over my shoulder in the direction Ash indicated. My heart dropped into my stomach, setting everything there boiling.
“Alisha?” I said. Just looking at her sent me into jealous palpitations. How could she get her skin so perfect, her hair so lovely? The way her skirt and blouse hugged her body set off how toned and sculpted it was.
Even the barest brush of the thought of Alex doing the things to her that he did to me threatened to send me off into a jealous rage. It took everything I had to maintain some semblance of calm.
“Miss Morgan and…” Alisha said, giving Ash a quick dress-down, “Other teacher. Good. I’m glad I didn’t have to go inside to find you.”
She gave my apartment building the same look someone gave when they’d stepped in something sticky and wanted to find something to scrape it off with.
The same disgust showed when she glanced at the 7/11 across the street, the Laundromat at the corner. The whole neighborhood. I guessed she didn’t like venturing out past the glass and steel towers of downtown unless she had to.
So why does she have to? I wondered. “Where’s Alex… Mr. Crossley?”
“You tell me,” Alisha said. She crossed her arms and stuck one foot out, her expensive black leather heels looking incongruous on the cracked slab of sidewalk.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I replied, a defensive impulse stiffening my spine.
Rufus took note of her then. It was a good thing I still had a good grip on his leash, because he lunged suddenly, teeth bared.
“Get that mutt away from me unless you want it put down,” Alisha said, fear flashing in her eyes even as she took a step back.
“Rufus! Down!” I said, giving the leash a tug to get his attention. The whole length was taut and vibrating. “Sorry, he’s usually not like this.” I’d never seen him jump at someone like that. Growl, sure. But he was the proverbial all-bark-no-bite dog.
I tugged him back until I could place my hand between his shoulders. Every muscle in him was taut. At my touch he looked back and he calmed down. “Sit,” I said. He did.
“Jesus! Don’t you know you need to train it? Though I guess I can’t say that I’m surprised,” Alisha said.
Ash let out an exasperated sigh, “It’s him, not it. And Charlie is right. What are you doing here without your boss?”
Alisha watched Rufus while she resumed her imperious stance, “What do you think you and Alex are doing?”
Ash started to say something but I held my hand up to quiet her. I had to fight my own battles.
“What we did or didn’t do is none of your business,” I said.
Alisha gave me a patronizing smile, her perfect ruby lips pulling back to show her perfect white teeth. “That’s precious. You know, I can sort of see why he’s interested in you. But we both know that there’s no way it could work. He’s Alexander Crossley, and you’re…” she gestured at me in a way that made my temples throb, “You’re not even in the same league. You’ve had your fun, now leave him to someone who deserves him.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said. Rufus let out another low growl when he sensed my tension.
You have no idea the willpower it took not to let go of his leash so that he could chase her down the street. No idea at all.
“He’ll drop you soon,” Alisha said, “Save that bleeding heart of yours some pain and end it before it gets too rough. And I can tell it’ll be rough because I can see how you’ve fallen for him. Fallen hard. It’s not going to be a soft landing, either. I’ve worked with him a long time. Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s some eligible janitor or gym teacher out there waiting for you.”
“Who said anything about falling for him?” I said. I squeezed the loop on the end of Rufus’s leash so hard that the course fabric bit into my palm.
“You haven’t?” Alisha said, one eyebrow raising like the top look of a question mark on her forehead.
“Of course I haven’t.” I’m not sure exactly why I said that. Maybe to try and get Alisha off my back. Maybe just to try and get back at her, make her know how wrong she was.
Because even though I hated her a few of the things she said made sense. She did know Alex for longer than I have. Couldn’t that also mean that she knew him better? I didn’t really want to confront that possibility.
Alisha shook her head. “If you believe that you’re an even more deluded little schoolmarm than I thought. You just remember that when he’s finished with you he’s coming back to me. He always does.”
“Are you finished?” I said. My body started trembling. It wouldn’t be long before I couldn’t hide it anymore and I desperately didn’t want Alisha to see the effect she had on me.
“No, but I’m definitely done talking to you. Make sure you keep that mutt on a short leash,” Alisha said. She whirled around and walked away, her high heels clicking with each step.
“What a bitch,” Ash said, both of us watching her go. “You mean that stuff? About there not being anything serious between you and Alex?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so,” I said. I wanted to not let what Alisha told me get to me, wanted it so badly. But it worked its way into my thoughts like some insidious virus.
I wanted the weekend to be over so that I could see him again. One more week together.
And what about when that week ends? What I do? What will he do?
“So,” I said, “Who can tell me why Dickens might have a character who so clearly divides his life into work and home?”
I tried to sound normal, tried smiling. No matter what I did, my stomach roiled with nerves.
And when Alex looked at me, that sensation intensified. It was part nervous excitement, part worry.
I’d never started anything this way with a man before, and the intensity of it kind of scared me. His intensity kind of scared me. Maybe that’s one of the things I like about him though, I thought.
Brady and I had met at a bookstore, and our relationship had built up steam like an old train pulling out the station, slowly and inexorably adding momentum.
With Alex, it felt like I’d hopped into a Ferrari with a crazed driver behind the wheel.
I liked it, too. It was exhilarating.
“I know someone has something to say,” I said, trying to keep my eyes of Alex.
He’d been offered a chair to sit on, but he preferred his usual spot by the door, leaning casually against the wall right between the bank of light switches and the poster I’d put up that showed how good communication and reading skills connected with real life.
He had his arms crossed, and I’d noticed when the day started that stubble dotted his cheeks and chin. I’d instantly wanted to touch him, to feel that roughness.
Class really seemed to drag on that day.
Chrishon, who sat in the second row, raised her hand slowly.
“Yes?” I said.
“Because… he doesn’t want to let them mix…?” she said. I felt that a lot of my students were hesitant, unsure of themselves. Maybe worried their friends might mock them for wanting to learn.
I always tried to be supportive.
“Yes, that’s pretty good,” I said, glancing at the clock and seeing the time, “But I think we need to hand things over to Mr. Crossley before the bell.”
