by T. J. Quinn
Trevin. She whispered his name into its mind, an endearment.
It was late, and Hankura would not be returning that evening--- it might be days before he came back. In any case, there would be no hiding this from him, and she didn't intend to try.
From the moment Trevin came in through the tunnel, she knew this would happen. He wanted to help---to take away the pain he saw in her eyes. His desire to make love to her was tender and unselfish. At that moment Chelle needed that from him. His kiss was sweetly soothing as his mouth caressed hers. His body felt warm and strong against her and his hands gently comforting as they stroked her back and pressed her to him.
He loved her, had always loved her, and it didn't matter that this was probably the only joining they would ever have---or that they would never share a future together. He gave of himself freely seeking only to heal her battered soul. He drew back from her for a moment and stared into her eyes, and she sensed all that he was offering. Chelle nodded and took his hand, leading him toward one of three sleeping chambers in the dome---but not the one she shared with Hankura.
The two paused at the end of the bed and faced each other. Trevin waited for Chelle to make the first move. She touched his mind lightly and sensed that he would do whatever she wanted---even turn and leave with no reproach. Chelle didn't want him to go. Holding his gaze, she reached for the fastener on her tunic and slowly opened it and let it fall to the floor. Then she moved closer to Trevin and unfastened his coverall and helped him shed it. He drew her against him and groaned at the feel of her warm body. Chelle hid her face against his shoulder aware of his acute arousal. A less considerate lover would have pressed eagerly for consummation. Instead, he raised his hand to her face and coaxed her head up until their eyes locked. I love you. You have nothing to fear. I only want to give you pleasure. No past, no future...just you and me here and now.
Chelle's eyes misted with tears and she raised her mouth to his. And I love you, Trevin...I want you---to feel you inside me.
"Soon," Trevin whispered against her cheek. They moved to the bed where he slowly kissed and caressed her body until Chelle pleaded for completion. Their joining was a continuation of his tender caresses. He kissed her eyes, her face, and neck as he moved slowly inside her and she arched her body against him whispering his name again and again. He brought her to climax three times before his own release, after which, he lay spent and helpless in her arms, still joined.
"Thank you," Chelle whispered, stroking his cheek.
He raised himself and kissed her mouth softly. "You're welcome." He smiled, his brown eyes twinkling. "Anytime."
They laughed together, knowing this would be the only time, not regretting a moment.
It might take a while, but Hankura would understand.
In Lenth, Hankura lost himself for three days and nights in at least a dozen bottles of carava and a voluptuous blond named Marissa.
The grand Lenth Inn was a rather decadent establishment on the old quarter of Lenth that catered to psi-paths and the dregs of Aledan society. It was a den of drunkenness and debauchery where a man might fulfill his most secret fantasies in one way or another. Hankura sure as hell tried. It was his crude way of balancing the scales.
On the fourth night, Marissa poured him into his hovercraft drunk and disoriented and sent him home to the wife she was sure he had somewhere. As much as she wished it could be, she knew it was no good. Those damned Psions were far too complicated for a woman like her---but, oh, what lovers ... even in the shape that one was in!
Still, even a simple whore like Marissa knew when a man was hurting inside. That's why they usually came to the Inn. As usual, all the good ones got away. She wondered to herself as she watched the craft rise into the air and quickly disappear over the horizon. Where the hell was Zevus Mar, anyway?
"Well, whatever you're looking for, love; I hope you find it there." She shook her blond tresses ruefully and turned back toward the bar. At the far end she spotted another lonely Psion nursing his drink alone, the blue patch on his sleeve proclaimed his position on Aledus for anyone to see.
Drawing her wrap close around her bare shoulders, Marissa sighed and strolled provocatively toward him. Maybe this time...
Hankura came back to reality about fifteen hours later, opening his eyes to the muted light of the dome's lavishly furnished master bedroom. He sat up and looked around at least twice before it sank in where he was. Then he lay back slowly and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling with his hands clasped behind his head.
No hangover. Chelle gave him an anti-tox most likely sometime after she and Trevin undressed him and poured him into bed the night before. Hazily, the memory came back to him in bits and pieces. He let out a long sigh, and his mouth tightened a little ruefully as he thought back to what he had been doing for the past three days. And he had hurt Chelle---half on purpose and half inadvertently---because he was hurting too.
She probably blocked most of it out, but Hankura was certain she knew what he had done. He could not have hidden it very well as drunk as he had been. Mother of Life! Now, why had he gone and hurt her like that after all she had been through? He of all people knew how deeply she was tormented with grief for Kaara and the memory of the Tregan prison camp. If she sometimes forgot how much it had hurt him too, it was only due to the depth of her own pain.
.
Hankura got up, showered and dressed, and went outside into the garden where he knew he would find her. She was sitting alone on a marble bench under the shade of an ever-red tree. Although she didn't look up, he was aware she had sensed his approach. As he came to stand before her, she raised her shining blue eyes to his slowly. No mere words could have expressed the myriad of emotions that passed between them. Chelle was past tears, and she was no longer angry with him. In that instant, he knew what had happened between her and Trevin. Amazingly enough, he realized that he wasn't angry as he might have been in the past. He knew she had been with Trevin. Despite an initial stab of jealousy, it was much easier to think of Trevin tenderly making love to her than Stagg and Mograton raping and torturing her. He knew that her feelings for Trevin where special but separate from her love for him. He could accept that as he saw it through her eyes. Chelle loved him no less because she took comfort in Trevin. Trevin was her friend; the Hankura was the love of her life.
Hankura held out his hands to her, and she placed hers in them. He drew her to her feet and kissed each hand, his eyes never leaving hers. She-ell, my darling, forgive me. He couldn't change what they had done or what had been done to them. This was their way of striking back at the nightmare. It only partly worked, but now Hankura’s feelings were closer to being under control. There hadn't been a time through it all that he didn't love her---only a time when he couldn't reach through his inner turmoil to make her feel it.
Beloved Hankura, we have each tried to hide our pain from the other---your anger, my guilt...your guilt, my anger. Our feelings aren't so different, but we will never put the nightmare behind us if we don't face these feelings and deal with them. And, we can only do it one step at a time.
And we will start at the beginning with the love that has sustained us through it all. My beautiful Chelle, I love you with all that I am...and all that I will ever be. Hankura put his arms around her and pressed her close, savoring her soft warmth enveloped in the aura of her implicit love in the pleasure of her kiss.
After a long time, Chelle finally spoke against the fabric of his brown tunic shirt. "There was a message from Casir while you were gone. It was a poor relay, but I learned that he is headed for Zevus Mar with the Galaxy Construction Company of Rintalis. His crew is contracted to rebuild the Medrin Starport. I only got through to tell him we would be there before I lost the window."
"The Arius Mran?"
"It arrived two days ago. I finished ordering the supplies we need. Trevin is picking up the last in Salla today. I'm afraid, though, that all of this has left very little in our account----and there will be litt
le room for our personal belongings once all of it has been loaded."
"We'll have some things shipped and buy others later. Did you get new crystals for the Mran?" he asked, running over a mental list of preparations.
"Yes. All that's left is to go over the ship and have it loaded..."
"And register launch plans with Salla Starport. We should be ready to leave in another two days at the latest," he said as she eased from his embrace.
"I'm looking forward to seeing Casir, too. Seeing him is just what you need. It's too bad we missed him on Belderon on our way to rendezvous with Captain Beras."
Hankura shrugged slightly. "He was called to Uloi sooner than he expected...and I wasn't exactly in any condition to go to Belderon before we did."
The two men hadn't seen each other in more than seven years...
"Michelle!" Hankura had been thrashing around for quite some time before he bolted upright in his bed. His heart was pounding, and his body was soaked with sweat. He groaned softly and tried to catch his breath.
His roommate stirred in the bed across the room and roused as he sensed Hankura's agitation. "You dreamed about her again, didn't you?"
Hankura nodded his head. "It was more than a dream, Casir. She needed me. I felt her needing me, and I wasn't there. She nearly died. We were in limbo, and I touched her soul. Then she found the will to live," he murmured. "I didn't want to let her go."
"How long since you first mind-linked with her?"
"Almost twenty years standard." Hankura sighed.
"She must be a strong one."
Hankura shook his head. "She's not any stronger than you or I."
"Not psi-quotient, diamond head--psi-bond, Hankura. If she were that strong, I would feel her in my dreams, too. But, you're the only one who feels her."
"You mean like psi-mates? That's crazy?"
"Then, you give me a better explanation why you can't get a female you've never met face to face out of your head in twenty years of trying?"
"I can't. It's just that---well, I thought psi-mating was just a myth dreamed up by that madman Malkan."
"Maybe Malkan was crazy, but the prophet Narcaza wasn't. He was your own ancestor, and he believed it," Casir pointed out. "Mesgar believes it, too."
"Space! I don't know what to think anymore, Casir. All I know is I could feel her reaching out to me as she was dying. I didn't want her to die. She wanted me to help her heal her brother, too. But she was too weak. If I'd pushed her too hard, she would have died, too, trying to save him. I had to break contact because I couldn't stand her pain. Her brother is dead now, and she's all alone. I promised to get her out of there a long time ago. I'm afraid she might not make it until I get there. I've got another two years in the program, and I don't know how long she can stay alive without Jerry to help her. Half the time she thinks I lied to her, and half the time she doesn't think I'm real. I feel her pain, Casir; I feel her despair like she's part of me."
"I know. I feel your dilemma," Casir empathized. "What are you going to do?"
"Take a biochip implant for the last two years," he said. The computerized organic implant would feed information directly into his brain over a period of three months. By taking the last two years of medical school through a biochip, he could leave Velran with his physician's certification in three months.
"But, can you handle the headaches, Hankura?" Migraines were a side effect of such implants, which is why most students didn't use them.
"I know it can be pretty painful, but I can't wait any longer. I have to find her before those barbarians kill her. Maybe once I know she's safe, I can get on with my life."
"Only if you include her in your plans."
"If that's what it takes. I'll worry about that when the time comes. I just can't live with this constant fear for her life anymore."
"Care to make a small wager? Say 50,000 chips that you two are psi-mated?" Casir grinned.
"I don't think so. I don't like the odds."
"Ah, so you are beginning to believe it."
Hankura shrugged. "Maybe I am."
After three months’ preparation, Hankura was ready to leave on his journey. Casir went with him to the hangar at the Velran Starport to see him off in the Mran space craft that was waiting to be launched.
"It sure is a beauty," Casir said, admiring the sleek triangular shaped craft.
"At a million chips, it ought to be. It's nearly new."
The two men stood looking at the silver and blue craft in silence. Hankura was dressed in a shiny silver flight suit, and Casir wore a loose fitting white suit that was currently fashionable among human males on Velran.
Casir spoke finally after a long silence. "You remember the first few days after you got here when I wouldn't even talk to you?"
"Yes." Hankura grinned wryly. "I was ready to choke you just so you would say something. I didn't know what you were trying to do because you were so good at blocking my probes."
"Well, when you came walking into our quarters that day, I had a feeling we could be good friends. I didn't want that. I knew that one day you and I would be standing here like this, and I'd be losing my best friend.
"You were lucky, Hankura. Your parents sent you here because they thought they were doing you a favor---even if you didn't think so at the time. My family sent me here with 5 million chips and said don't come back. That was pretty hard to take."
"I know," murmured Hankura. "It took me awhile to figure that out." He paused. "You know you could come, too."
Casir shook his head. A stark contrast to the Aledan, Casir was as fair as Hankura was dark with platinum hair and amber eyes. The Aledan held his gaze, studying those familiar features.
"I've done a lot of crazy things in my life, but going to Earth with you after some dream girl is not going to be one of them. Besides, with you gone, someone will have to console Jana and Delara. It might as well be me." Casir grinned suddenly.
Hankura grinned, too. "They always liked you better anyway---"
"---Except for Carianne. She isn't taking your leaving well at all."
"I tried to explain. It just wasn't working, and our co-habitation contract was up anyway." Hankura shrugged. "Every time it seemed like we could really be close, Michelle would haunt me again. Mesgar thinks it is psi-mating. If it is, he said I had best learn to accept the mind-link because I can't change it."
"My sympathies, friend. At least I won't have to share the ladies with you anymore."
"Don't be too sure. Maybe this obsession is just a psychological quirk---an aberration that will wear off. . .."
"Who are you kidding?"
"Myself." Hankura sighed. "It's just that going to Earth these days is a good way to get myself killed. I have a bad feeling about this whole thing. Yet, I know I'll never have any peace until I find her."
Casir swallowed hard. "What happens if you do find her? You're not planning to stay on Earth, are you?"
"Certainly not! I promised my parents two years ago I'd return to Aledus after I finish here."
"Oh yeah. I remember you arguing back and forth about that for months over the telcom. I thought you finally decided not to go."
"Mother changed my mind. It meant so much to her, I didn't have the heart to refuse her again. But that doesn't mean I'll stay forever. What about you? What are your plans?"
"I'll let you know when I decide . . . if I can find you."
"I'll leave word with my family . . . if I make it back to Aledus."
"You will. I have faith in you." Casir held out his hand, not fooling his friend at all. Casir was worried. Going to Earth was highly dangerous ever since the Procyon Wars. This might really be the last time they ever saw each other.
They both knew it.
Hankura shook Casir's hand and turned to board the ship. He stopped abruptly and turned back to embrace his friend, briefly. No more words were necessary. After one last look into Hankura's eyes, Casir nodded, and Hankura turned without looking back to board his ship.
Casir watched the hatch close behind then turned and left the hangar.
Although he couldn't watch Hankura go, he was glad he had finally accepted Hankura's friendship. The Aledan was the best friend he would ever have.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Rebuilding Begins
The Galaxy Construction Company's crews settled in on Zevus Mar two weeks ahead of Hankura's projected arrival. If things had gone according to plan, at least part of the star port would have been completed in time for his arrival. But they didn't . . .
"Casir, that little bugger is wedged in there but good," Cran muttered in disgust, working at the droid's remote control panel without success. "These damn droids are about useless in this wreckage. They're fine when we can get them where we want them. But if anything gets in their way, they haven't got enough power to do anything about it. One of us will have to go in and set those charges... "
"Well, I suppose---" Casir started to say he would go.
"Not you, Casir," Cran interrupted. "You may be the boss, but you don't know microbes about those detonators. Let me go. I'll get 'em in there so we can drop that tower in one shot."
Casir was the boss, but Cran had been a demolitions expert for ten years before he served on the Searching Star, and before he came to work for the Galaxy Construction Company.
"We haven't got any more of those droids?" Casir asked, and then answered before Cran could speak. "No, of course not. This is a helluva fix. We've got to have this star port operational so the freighters can land with the stuff we need to get this star port operational."
