“How’d you do that?” I asked, leaning back in my chair. “I can’t see you reading a self-help book.”
He chuckled. “No, I didn’t. I talked and listened to people who knew more than I did. I asked for help when I needed it. By that time, I had a few good friends. Good, strong men who were good role models for their kids. I knew if I wanted to be like them, I had to start acting like them, so that’s what I did.”
When I thought about modeling anyone’s behavior as a husband and father, I immediately thought of Ryker. “Ryker wouldn’t have gotten on that plane last night,” I said slowly. “He would have stayed and had it out with Mac. He would have demanded to know why her ex was there. He wouldn’t have run, then punished her by not answering her calls.”
Jack smiled. “Tell me, how’d your brother learn to be such a good husband and father? He sure as hell didn’t learn it from me.”
“His wife’s father was a stand-up guy. Once he got over the shock of his baby girl falling for a hard-drinking, drug-using thug who rode a Harley, he shook some sense into Ryker. He told him he’d kill him if he ever hurt Mac.”
Chuckling, Jack said, “Sounds like my kind of man.”
If someone had suggested to me a few weeks ago there were any similarities between Mac’s father and mine, I would have laughed in their face. But sitting with him now, having a civil conversation that might actually help me gain some clarity, I wasn’t laughing.
“Then he came to terms with the fact Ryker loved Mac and she loved him, so he figured he’d help bring out the best in Ryker instead of shooting him down every chance he got.” Made me wish Riley’s parents were a little more like Mac’s.
“I’m glad Ryker had a good father figure in his life.” Jack’s eyes filled with tears as he cleared his throat. “Helped him to be a good man, which meant he could help all of you guys too.”
“I told them about you,” I said, knowing he must be curious. “They were angry and confused, especially when I told them about Beck and Tanner.”
“I wouldn’t expect them to feel any other way. I’m glad you told them though. If there’s any way they could find it in their hearts to have a relationship with their half-brothers, it sure would mean a lot to Beck and Tanner.”
“I think they’ll come around.” I smirked. “Hell, if I can, they sure as hell can. They’re all more mature than I am.”
Jack smiled. “Don’t sell yourself short, son. There may be hope for you yet. Hell, if there’s hope for me, there’s hope for you.”
***
I was sitting at the poker table, ten thousand up, and surrounded by beautiful women who’d apparently gotten the memo I was a high roller. But instead of focusing on my hand, I was wondering how long it would take me to get back to Riley and beg her forgiveness. Again. Or was it too late? Had I burned my last bridge, bailing on her again?
“Excuse me.”
I whipped around at the sound of a familiar voice, dropping my cards on the table. “Ri, what’re you doing here?”
She glanced at the chips on the table before edging out two of the women flanking me. “Looks like you’re up. Is this is a good time to cash out?”
I inclined my head toward the dealer, letting him know I was folding, before I made eye contact with a casino employee standing discreetly off to the side. There was always one hovering around me, ready to meet any of my needs, no matter how outrageous.
“Yeah, sure.” I grabbed Riley’s hand before whispering to the employee who’d rushed to my side, “I’m cashing out.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Steele.”
My heart was hammering as I led her toward the elevators. Was she here to let me have it, to demand I come home with her, or tell me she’d had enough and never wanted to see me again?
A distinguished-looking middle-aged couple was on the elevator, so we remained silent until we all made it to the top floor.
When we stepped off and I ushered Riley toward my suite, I said, “I tried to call you earlier. Did you get my message?”
She watched me slide the card through the slot before she said, “Yeah, I was already at the airport when you called. That’s why I didn’t answer. I thought we should have this conversation face-to-face.”
My stomach pitched. I didn’t like the sound of that. “Uh, do you want a drink?” I asked, gesturing to the mini-bar.
She set her bag down by the console table in the hall. “No, Brody. What I want is to understand why you left. I know you were mad, and I’m sorry I asked you to leave, but I was right in the middle of a serious discussion with Stephan and I just needed a little more time.”
I sank into the white sofa as I loosened my tie. “When I walked in there and saw you with him again, I thought the worst.”
“You thought I was sleeping with him?” she asked incredulously.
“No, I thought you were weighing your options.”
Untold emotions creeped across her face: disbelief, anger, frustration. Finally she surrendered, sinking down next to me. “Why can’t you believe me when I tell you that you’re the only man I want?”
“I look at you.” She looked stunning in a fitted royal-blue dress and black heels, with her pale blond hair spilling over her shoulders. “And I see perfection. I look at myself and see a hot mess. Why would you want a guy like me when you could have someone like the doctor, who has it all together?”
“You may think he has it all together, but he doesn’t. Neither do I.” She reached for my hand. “We’re all human. We all make mistakes. But for reasons I can’t fathom, you keep making the same mistakes over and over again.” She wrapped her knuckles against my temple. “What’s wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something?”
I laughed, pulling her close. I needed to hold her, to convince myself this was really happening and it wasn’t another dream like the one I’d had last night. “Maybe. Or maybe I’m just thick.”
She rested her head on my shoulder as she set her feet on the table in front of us. “You’re one of the smartest, shrewdest, most determined men I’ve ever met. So why can’t you just decide to make this relationship work and refuse to let anything stand in your way?”
“Is that still what you want? For this relationship to work?” I held my breath and prayed.
“Would I be here if I didn’t? Would I have been blowing your phone up since you left?”
We were talking. This was good. Normally, we’d fight, I’d bail, and she’d tell me to get the hell out of her life. This was progress.
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer. I guess I was trying to punish you, at first.” Honesty. Another step in the right direction.
“Well, congratulations. It worked.”
I linked my hand with hers, thinking about the ring tucked away in the safe. “Then I was afraid to answer. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what you were going to say.”
Tipping her head back on my arm, she looked up at me. “What did you think I was going to say?”
“That you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”
“You make it sound like a choice.” She sighed. “You’re a part of me, Brody. Breaking up with you is like losing a limb. I can still function without you, but not as well.”
I leaned in to kiss her. “I love you.”
“I love you too, you bastard.” She shoved my chest. “But I’m still pissed at you for making me come all this way. By the way, why are you here? I thought you were done with all this?”
Being here confirmed what I’d already known—with or without Riley, I was ready to let this part of my life go. I’d thought a lot about the house I bought, the job I was starting, and my brothers waiting on me. That was the life I wanted. And with any luck, that life would include the woman I’d been dreaming about for the past twenty years.
“I am done, Ri. Totally, completely done. But I think I had to come here one last time to be sure. I won big while I was here, by the way. Even though I had a hell of a time taking my mind off you.”
“I guess that’s something—knowing I wasn’t the only one going through hell.”
“Even winning didn’t do it for me,” I said, needing to make her understand. “Ever since my old man walked into the room that night, I’ve known, in my gut, that it was time for me to face my past.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.” She kissed my hand, which was resting on her shoulder. “It’s time to get that monkey off your back once and for all.”
“I took another step in that direction today. I went to see Jack.” We’d agreed that was what I would call him. He’d suggested we work on getting to know each other again, but understood dad was a title he’d have to earn. “Spent some more time with Tanner and Beck too.”
“That’s wonderful,” Riley said, smiling. “I’m glad the trip wasn’t a total waste then.”
“Actually, it was one of the most productive trips of my life, and not because I won.”
“Go on,” she said, sounding nervous.
“It helped me to realize this isn’t where I belong anymore. Tampa is my home. You’re my home, baby.”
She turned into me and settled one leg over mine, her hand resting on my chest. “I’m sorry I asked you to leave so I could talk to Stephan.”
Knowing I couldn’t let that go just yet, I said, “You gonna tell me why he was at your apartment?”
“He kind of let himself in,” she whispered.
“He what?” I gripped her shoulders, forcing her to sit up. “He has a key?”
“No.” She blushed. “I gave him one when we were together—”
Pushing her farther away, I said, “Hold up a second. You what? You barely knew this guy and you gave him a key to your place? What the hell were you thinking?”
“I gave it to him so he could let himself in one night because I was going to be late. I didn’t intend for him to keep it, but I kept forgetting to ask for it back. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“So you let him keep it even after you broke up?”
“No, he gave it back to me, but not before he had another one cut, apparently.”
“I don’t believe this.” I inched as far back on the couch as I could, my back hitting the armrest. “This guy could be dangerous, and he has a key to your place?”
“He gave it back to me,” she said, rolling her eyes. “And I hardly think he’s dangerous.”
“We’re having the locks changed tomorrow, and don’t even think about arguing with me.”
She kissed me, smiling against my lips. “One step ahead of you. My sister was there with the locksmith when I left town.”
“Good.” One less thing to worry about when we got back. “Okay, go on. Why was he there, and what the hell was so important that it couldn’t have waited?”
“He was saying things that made me fear for his safety.” Her lips twitched the way they always did when she was deep in thought. “Kane thinks he was just trying to make me feel sorry for him and maybe he was right, but I didn’t want to take any chances.”
“He wasn’t threatening to take his life, was he?” I knew Riley would never turn her back on a friend, or even a stranger, in trouble.
“It wasn’t so much what he said but the implication that concerned me. Anyhow,” she said, squeezing my hands, “he’s hopefully getting the help he needs now, and I didn’t come here to talk about him. I came to talk about us.”
“My favorite topic.” I leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped me with two fingers against my lips.
“Not so fast,” she said, putting as much distance between us as possible. “You said you wanted to change, that you were ready to grow up. Yet the first time something didn’t go your way, you did what you always do. You ran.”
She was absolutely right, and I couldn’t even try to defend my actions. “Being here without you gave me time to think,” I said, looking at our clasped hands. “I left because I was angry, but I stayed because I needed that time to reflect on us.”
“And?” She sounded slightly breathless, as though caught between hope and fear. “What conclusions did you come to?”
“I think I ran because I always feared sticking around would give you an opportunity to tell me face-to-face that it was over.” A shudder moved through me as I recalled the one time she had been able to pin me down and deliver those words in person. “I was so afraid of hearing those words that I let the fear of them chase me away.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” she said, looking confused. “It would have been just as easy to say it in a voice mail or text or email, if there was no other way.”
“But you aren’t the kind of woman who could end a meaningful relationship that way,” I said, trying to explain my thoughts and feelings. “You couldn’t end what we had over the phone, Ri. Your conscience wouldn’t have let you do that.”
“I guess you’re right,” she said, looking bemused. “You figured if you just kept running away, there was still a chance for us?”
“Something like that,” I admitted, realizing how ridiculous that sounded.
“I hope you know now that running away also meant we didn’t have the chance to fix what was broken between us. Maybe if you’d stayed, we could have.”
“You’re probably right.” I kissed her hand. “I’m here now. So are you. And for what it’s worth, I’m done running.”
“It’s worth a lot, if you really mean it?”
There was only one way to prove to her I was sincere. The only approach I’d never tried—a promise of forever backed up with proof. “Wait right here. I’ll be right back
Chapter Fifteen
Riley
I heard rustling in the bedroom before Brody reappeared with a small box clutched in his hand and a tentative smile on his face. Since my sister had already tipped me off, the ring didn’t come as a complete surprise, but after so many years of wishing for a moment like this, it still seemed surreal.
He sat silently beside me, probably taking a moment to collect himself. “There were a hundred ways I could have done this, but we both know romance isn’t my strong suit.”
I didn’t need flowers and chocolate from this man. Only the promise that he would never leave me. None of the expensive gifts he’d given me over the years compared to the little silver locket he’d saved to buy for me for our first Christmas together. It hadn’t cost a lot, but it meant everything to me. I still had it tucked away with all of the other treasures he’d given me, the ones that came from his heart, not from Tiffany’s.
“You deserve the very best, Ri.” He set the box on the table before reaching for my hand. “That’s why I’ve made such a mess of things, I guess. Because I convinced myself the best meant material things. Now I get that all you ever wanted was the best of me.” He bowed his head as though determined to choose the perfect words to convey his feelings. “I wouldn’t be the man I am without you.” He chuckled. “That may not seem like a compliment sometimes, but trust me, it is.”
I smiled, stroking his face. “I know it is, because I happen to love the man you are. Always have. Always will.”
He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as he kissed my hand. “Without you, I probably would have wound up just like my old man—chasing my dreams but never believing I was good enough or smart enough to catch them.”
It pained me to hear him selling himself short, because his potential had always been glaringly obvious to me.
“Because you saw something in me, I saw something in me too.” His smile was brief and fleeting, as though his happiness depended on the outcome of this conversation. “I know my path to success was unconventional, but then, so am I.”
I laughed, thinking I wouldn’t want him any other way. “That you are.”
“I have achieved success, Ri. Now I have what most people work a lifetime for—the freedom to do whatever I want with the satisfaction of knowing that I don’t have to work another day in my life unless I choose to.”
And because I wasn’t sure I’d ever really told him
, I felt compelled to add, “And I’m proud of you. I know your success hasn’t come without hard work or sacrifice.”
“Thank you,” he said, his eyes meeting mine. “All I ever really wanted was your approval. You know that, right?”
I was stunned. I was so sure he’d always known he had it. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that I didn’t believe in you.” I swallowed. “It’s just that I was scared of losing you to that life. Once you left, I wasn’t sure you would ever come back to me.”
Resting his head on my shoulder, he whispered in my ear, “I’ll always come back to you, baby. My heart is my compass, and you’re my due north.”
I melted as I wrapped my hand around his head, kissing his temple. I’d seen the many shades of Brody over the years, but raw vulnerability had always been rare and fleeting.
He swallowed repeatedly as he lifted his head to look me in the eye. “I always swore when I made enough to give you the life you deserved, I’d walk away from poker. That meant having the financial means to support your dreams, so you would never have to go to anyone else for help. You could always come to me.”
A tear slid down my cheek as I processed what he was saying. “You mean you’d invest in my business if I asked you to?”
“I’d invest in a shack in Timbuktu if you asked me to, Ri.”
“I love you,” I whispered, knowing there were no other words to describe my feelings for this man. Even love didn’t seem all-encompassing enough.
“I love you too.” He took a deep breath. “So now, I finally have it all lined up. The house—”
“I heard.”
“Your sister told you?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Yeah, but don’t be mad at her.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m not. I know she’s lousy at keeping secrets. I assume that means you know about the job too?”
“Yeah.” I grinned. “I’m really proud of you. I think you’ll be an awesome coach and mentor for those kids.”
Brody Page 17
