“My mother always said the joy of the ride is over as soon as you hand over the keys to a man.” I hear the bitterness in my own voice, and it’s ugly. This is a side of me I don’t like, but it’s a part of me. I stand and smooth my skirt.
Tabby’s expression softens at my tone. “See, and I would say that’s when it starts to get interesting. I wouldn’t want to be with a man who controlled me, but I don’t want one I can push around, either.” She winks. “Unless he was into that.”
I laugh and wave for Tabby to go. I’m already distracted enough without letting my mind wander to what kinky things Ben might be into.
With a final smile, Tabby ducks out and closes the door behind her.
My phone beeps with a text.
Ben: I’ve booked us a lunch date.
I fiddle with my phone and type about three refusals and delete them all. I don’t have time for a lunch, but I also don’t seem to be able to get past the first line on this document. I can sit here and be unproductive or I can face Ben and tell him this has to stop. Seeing him again will help me remember how ludicrous it is to waste time wondering how we’d be together.
I know how it would be: Good, then very, very bad.
Me: Where?
Ben: Some place perfect for a midday break. Bring your gym bag.
Me: Where are we going?
Ben: It’s a surprise.
My heart is beating wildly in my chest. I want to tell him I’m not interested in another surprise. As a rule, I don’t like them. Another unknown. I should say no. Meeting him like this gives him the upper hand.
I’ll tell him today that we can’t do this anymore.
One last time and that’s it.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Ben
I can’t decide if this choice is perfectly crafted or destined to implode, but it’s too late now. Kylie has been on my mind all day and I can’t shake the feeling that Dalton’s request for me to spend time with her runs deeper than creating a distraction. He saw something serious, important enough to put up with my shit.
Of all the casual interactions I’ve had with Kylie, last night was the most relaxed I’ve ever seen her. And it felt good to be a part of it. She deserves some calm even if it’s just momentary.
So I’m doubling down on the relaxation prescription. My sisters rave about this place, and I’m certain it’s exactly what the doctor ordered.
“Yoga?” Kylie stares up at the sign as though I’ve taken her to a brothel or small pox quarantine facility. “I don’t do yoga.”
The strength of her refusal tells me all I need to know. She’s never done it before. “Yoga is awesome. I’ve done it a few times. This place is supposed to be great.” I open the door but she doesn’t make a move to step in.
“You have me confused with Penny. I don’t do Zen.” She spins her bracelet on her wrist in a nervous sort of way and it reminds me just how much she could benefit from a break.
“I wouldn’t confuse you and Penny. I wouldn’t confuse you with anyone. You’re like a torch in a room full of tiny birthday candles—” I stop because I don’t know if that represents how I feel about her. She blazes hot and vivid in my fantasies even when we’re apart. No. No. I probably shouldn’t say that either. I decide to focus on the issue at hand—I want her to try something new with me. “I thought you might like it. But if you’re out of your depth—”
“Lying on a mat in a silly pose and breathing is not out of my depth.” She looks perfectly insulted. Mission accomplished.
“It’s all right.” I let the door close with us on the outside. “I mean, sure I took to boxing like I’d been born for the ring, but not everyone enjoys a challenge. This isn’t a competition.” If there were actual buttons on Kylie I’d be pressing them all right now. She looks incredible when her eyes flash and her cheeks flush with anger, but I’m wisely keeping that thought to myself.
“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?” She puts a hand on her hip. Oh, shit, she’s wise to my ways. “You’ve got me all figured out?”
“I’m working on it.” My mouth goes dry. Holy fuck I wish we were alone. I try to look cool, but I’m sporting a throbbing boner.
“I’ll do this, but not because you want me to. And not because you made it into a dare.” Her chin rises and she walks past me with the poise of a woman who can do whatever the hell she wants—and do it well. “But I won’t enjoy it.”
“You might.” I wave to Opal, the instructor who’s standing behind the front desk. We have a little history but nothing serious. Two of my sisters have set me up with her on different occasions. They didn’t realize they’d both picked Opal. We didn’t connect during either date, but at least on the second one we had something to laugh about. After that my sister Bridgette came up with a spreadsheet so these kinds of mistakes wouldn’t happen again. It’s an organized approach to torturing me. I give them credit for the effort.
“Ben, you finally took your sisters’ advice and came in to join us?” Opal’s hand casually lands on my bicep, and I can see Kylie’s back stiffen. I’d like to claim I’m above using the old “look, another woman finds me attractive” ploy, but it is effective. “Good to see you again.”
“Thanks.” Have I misread Opal? If she likes me then this is a class A douche move.
Kylie looks away and Opal points from me to her in question.
I nod and let out a breath of relieve when Opal winks.
“So, does this count as our third date?” she asks so coyly I know it’s for Kylie’s benefit rather than mine.
“No.” I chuckle. “Though I do have two more sisters. So we may see each other again.”
Kylie spins back then. She whips her gym bag off her shoulder. “Where can I change?” The glare she shoots both of us is designed to cut us down, but I’m holding back a smile and can tell Opal is doing the same.
As sweet as pie, Opal says, “Our changing rooms are in the back and you can help yourself to the cucumber water. You’ll want to hydrate.”
“Because stretching is a strenuous workout?” Kylie smirks at me, and I think about her dancing around in the boxing ring. She’s on the defensive, and it’s interesting to watch. Everything I learn about her is another step toward understanding how she and her sister became polar opposites.
“This is hot yoga. The room is set to one hundred five degrees, and it’s very intense. I would never suggest it for a beginner. Don’t feel bad if you decide it’s too much.” Opal is having too much fun with this. I wish I could pull her aside and warn her.
“Unless you love it.” I can’t help but laugh as Kylie heads off quickly toward the changing room.
I would normally choose a spot, but I’ll let Kylie choose where she’ll be most comfortable. Opal walks away to greet someone else then returns.
“Seriously Ben, it’s not usually for beginners. It’s a purifying session. It’s meant to cleanse and quiet the body and the mind. And I’ll be honest with you, it’s hot as hell in there.”
Okay, now I feel like a real dickhead. I should have looked more closely into the description of the class. I did see HOT YOGA, but my imagination took it in an entirely different direction. I grimace. “I don’t think I could haul her out of here now if I tried.”
“Finally something I agree with.” Kylie changed lightning fast and sneaks up on us.
Opal lingers. I try to signal with my eyes that she can stop helping now. She doesn’t get the hint. “You two look good together. Ben and I didn’t click, but I’d set him up with any of my friends.”
“Nice to know he has options,” Kylie cuts in quickly then looks from Opal to me. “I didn’t mean to sound like I don’t respect what you do here. It’s just not my thing.”
“Take it slowly and don’t measure yourself against anyone else. Yoga is a personal journey.” Opal shoots me a look of approval. I wonder if she sees Kylie’s tough exterior the same way I do—as a protective covering and not necessarily reflective of her soul. “Why don’
t you two go into the room now so your bodies can begin to adjust to the temperature? The class will start in ten minutes. Just lie quietly and allow your mind to fall quiet and calm.”
Opal walks away. I clear my throat. “Kylie, I chose this class without reading the description carefully. We don’t have to stay.”
“We’re doing this,” she says firmly.
I turn her to face me. “We don’t have to. Seriously, you don’t have to prove anything to me.”
Her chin rises again and her eyes flash. “Who says this is about you?”
If we were anywhere else I’d kiss her and show her just how transparent her act is, but I want her to succeed here. For me this isn’t about winning or changing her; it’s about getting her to open up and let me in. We’ll get there. I’m confident of that. She’s here with me, isn’t she? I give her my most charming smile, the one that has melted hearts since middle school, and I lean down so I can whisper in her ear. “I do.”
Her cheeks flush, and I choose this moment as my favorite since we met. She was hot in the boxing ring. She’s fun to spar with verbally, but this hint of a softer side has me salivating. I don’t want to change her. She’s remarkable just the way she is. But if there’s also a secret side of her—one that only I can bring out—hell, I’m all in.
We enter a wood paneled room with high vaulted ceilings. There are no windows, the only light coming from candles and lanterns scattered around. We grab two mats and unroll them. The wall of heat that hits me is oppressive. I never thought heat could be as much of a boner killer as cold, but it’s doing pretty well.
“Shit, it’s worse than a sauna in here,” Kylie groans as she braids her hair.
I’ve never been the kind of man who leers at women. The endless females my sisters parade through my life have trained me well. Eyes on mine, buddy. I know better, but Kylie has the most beautiful tits. Smaller and they wouldn’t fill my hands as perfectly as I imagine hers will. Larger and—well, larger is never bad, but hers are great just the way they are.
She tosses her braid over her shoulder. I raise my eyes to hers. She glares at me. I grin back and shrug. I’m only human. My cock begins to surge back to attention, and I remind it harshly that we are here to relax—so relax.
“I’m sure it’ll get easier as we get used to it.” My voice is hushed as the few other people in the room shoot us a look. Since I can’t share where my thoughts had taken me, I say, “You can feel the good energy.”
She looks me over and I can barely breathe—only this time it’s from an internal rush of heat. I know she feels it. She has that look in her eyes again.
“I bet they have to mop gallons of sweat off this floor every night.” She looks away. “How can anyone enjoy being this sweaty?”
“If you have to ask that, your pilot doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
Her eyes fly back to mine. Oh, if we weren’t in public I might have to duck, but I’m confident she’ll contain herself in public. The idea shouldn’t make me smile like it does, but I like the passion in her. I can’t wait to sample it up close. “What happened to the nice guy routine?”
“Just calling it as I see it.” I lie flat on my back on the mat, stretching my body and closing my eyes. I should use this time to empty my mind, but I’m way too aware of the woman next to me. I turn to see if she is bothered at all.
She is lying down, but she’s fidgeting with her eyes open. “You don’t know anything about me or my sex life.”
The woman on her other side says, “I don’t either, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
Kylie tenses, looks as if she might turn to say something to the woman, but doesn’t. She closes her eyes instead.
“Are you okay?” I feel bad. This isn’t going the way I imagined it would.
“Stop talking.”
Is she embarrassed? I don’t give a shit about the woman next to her or what Opal will think. I don’t want Kylie uncomfortable. “Do you want to leave? Say the word and we’re out of here.”
She opens her eyes and turns her head toward me. “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I believed that, and you wouldn’t be here if that was true.”
She closes her eyes again, but she still looks tense. A moment later she asks, “I can’t turn off my thoughts. All I see when I close my eyes is everything I left undone at the office.”
I glance around. Everyone is resting. I roll up onto one hand and in possibly the smoothest move of my life, I kiss her then roll back down.
She sits straight up. “Stop that,” she whispers.
“Just trying to give you something better to think about.” I smile at Kylie then briefly meet the eyes of the woman behind Kylie. I’m a good-natured man in general, but I send her a silent message to mind her own business. She gets up and moves to the other side of the room. I would feel bad about it if Kylie wasn’t looking at me with such a confused, turned on expression.
One corner of Kylie’s mouth turns up in a smile. “You’re going to get us thrown out. Then what will your Opal think of you?”
“News flash,” I say in a low tone. “You’re the only one here who matters.”
She rolls back onto the mat and, hang onto your hat, she’s smiling.
“Now how am I supposed to empty my mind?” I give her another of my irresistible smiles. She doesn’t roll her eyes. I’m making progress.
She sighs. “My mind doesn’t shut off.”
“Mine doesn’t usually either.”
“Then why do you come here?”
“I didn’t get these abs from sitting on the couch.” I don’t check to see if my comment made her smile. I know it did.
“I’m mentally reviewing my calendar for the week. What are you thinking about?”
“Besides imagining you naked?”
She sucks in an audible breath. “Stop.”
For now. “Navigation systems for autonomous cars. That’s what my thoughts default to lately.”
“Why? Someone already invented them.”
“Every invention can be improved upon. I’m good at rethinking what is accepted as possible.”
“Well, if you can keep them from ending up in cautionary stories in the news, their stockholders would love you.”
“Exactly.” I hear a rumbling from a woman on my other side. “We should probably talk about this after yoga.”
“It hasn’t even started yet,” she groans. “How long is this going to take?”
A woman who is making small meditating humming noises and clearly trying to center herself opens one eye to glare at us.
“She’s pretty tense for someone who probably does this a lot,” Kylie whispers as she nudges me with her foot.
“We should leave.” I make a motion toward the door. “This is the time before class when people try to be mindful.”
“What an oxymoron that is. Mindful. They should say they’re mind-dumping. Or mind numbing. Penny says she concentrates on one thing—or one word. You know how many balls I would drop if I did that?”
“Relax,” I say, resting a hand on her leg as it bounces up and down. I don’t mean it to be intimate but it is. I squeeze gently on her thigh, and she draws in a quick sexy breath. “If we’re staying, we should at least try. Close your eyes.”
“Get your hand off my leg,” she whispers.
I pull it back. Really, of the two of us, she’s behaving better than I am. I can’t behave. She’s too tempting.
Opal is at the front of the room, and her hushed voice echoes all around us. “I invite you all to find the center of your soul, the place you store your energy and go there. Get into whatever position is comfortable for you to start out.”
“I know where you store your energy,” Kylie whispers and waggles her brows at me as she gestures with her chin toward my pants.
I can’t help it—a laugh bursts out of me. Does she have to pick this moment to be funny? There’s no way to deny her accusation since ever
ything she says has my dick tenting in my shorts, waving and begging, “Pick me. Pick me.”
Opal clears her throat again. “Completely clear your mind and live in the quiet space you’ve created.”
I glance at Kylie. She rolls onto her stomach and has tucked her phone halfway under her yoga mat. She’s reading emails? I’m a little insulted.
“Put that away,” I warn. We really are going to get tossed. Opal begins moving through the room and is just a few feet away.
“Ben, if you can’t be quiet I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” I see only Opal’s bare foot tapping impatiently beside me. I smile apologetically at her, but her attention has already moved to Kylie.
“Sorry,” Kylie says sheepishly, shoving her phone all the way under the mat as though she’s been caught cheating on a test.
Opal shakes her head as if dealing with two naughty children. “Just close your eyes and relax. Take deep breaths. In and out. Visualize something that makes you feel calm. In your mind’s eye I want you to see the image of it. What makes you feel at peace? What makes you feel tranquil? Visualize it now.”
Kylie closes her eyes and says, “Okay. I’m there. What now?”
“Seriously?” a woman from the corner says in a snarky voice.
Opal moves over to speak to that woman and asks her to be patient because Kylie clearly has never been to yoga before.
Kylie quietly gets up, rolls up her mat, and tucks her phone in her pocket.
“Looks like we’re going.” I grab my own mat.
“Ben,” Opal returns. “I hate to be like this, but people are trying to find peace here.”
“Don’t worry, I’m leaving.”
“We’re leaving,” I correct but she’s already walking away.
“Sorry, Opal.” I bolt after Kyle who is already out the front door.
I stop long enough to grab our bags before breaking into a near run to catch her. “Kylie, stop.”
“I don’t do yoga,” she says with her back to me.
“Apparently I don’t either.” My joke fails to make her laugh. I shift so I can see her face, but she turns away again.
“I started off not liking you, Ben, but now I think I hate you.”
Impossible Bachelor Page 5
