“You’re making that up.” She groaned as another wave of pain it her. Narrowing her eyes at him, she stilled. “Isn’t wolf’s bane poisonous?”
“To some; yes, but for shifters it can slow down a first time transformation. You are already a shifter, Rebecca. That’s why you feel this pain. Your bones are growing stronger and so is the rest of you. Once you transform tonight, it will go away. The tonic will dull most of the pain, but not all.” When she curled back onto her side, he crossed one leg over the other, resting his ankle on his opposite knee as his arm stretched along the back of the navy colored couch. “Eric called earlier. He wanted to know how you are doing.”
Pressing her lips together, she shook her head. “I can’t talk to him right now.”
Sighing, Damon scratched absently at his chin. “You won’t have a choice tonight.”
The heavy weight of sadness filled Rebecca’s chest at the thought of Eric. Even after everything that happened the day she left, fleeing to the seclusion of Damon’s hotel room, she missed Eric. She longed for his touch, his embrace, his kiss, and even the sound of his voice like a drug. But the pain at knowing he considered her inferior, an outsider; prevented her from going back to him. If he couldn’t see her as an equal, as his mate; what hope did they have?
Doubts and fears of what the night would bring her began to creep into her mind, making her stomach knot painfully. She knew the reason Eric hadn’t come charging after her was because Damon had told her that there was trouble at the lodge that had pulled Eric away from Ravenwillow. What would happen to her if he didn’t return when the moon rose tonight? How would she get through this without Eric?
“Damon, you once told me that if I ever needed anything you'd help me.” She stated, her voice shaking.
Damon nodded. “Yes and I stand by that promise. Do you want me to go get Eric on the phone for you so you two love birds can make up?" He teased with a playful smile.
“No.” she answered, shaking her head. Closing her eyes against the next wave of pain that exploded down her back, she breathed out, “I want you to kill me.”
She knew she’d shocked Damon with her request, but her fear of transforming, of losing what she was, terrified her. There was a slight pause before Damon finally answered. “Come again?” Damon’s features froze at Rebecca's haunting words.
“In less than a few hours, I'm going to be forced to become something else. I have no control over it. I can feel something pressing at my mind like a cool touch of a hand and I know what it is. I can’t do this if Eric won’t truly accept me. I can’t live my life like this. What if I can’t control it? I couldn’t stand it if I turned into that monster that killed my family and nearly killed me. Don’t let it come to that, Damon. I beg you. I want you to kill me.”
Gripping her upper arms Damon jerked her back into sitting position before he shook her gently, “Are you insane?” When tears filled her eyes, forcing her to look away from him, he growled slightly before he released her.
"First of all; shifters—even newly turned shifters can change whenever they want. The full moon has no sway over that. It’s more like a special occasion that we use and the lunar energy from the moon helps to draw out our beasts the first time. The shifter that attacked you did so of his own choice, not because the beast within him forced him to. Just because you become a shifter doesn’t mean you have no control over your beast. It is part of you, it is you.” He stated harshly, his fingers stabbing at his heart.
“Secondly; your mate will be there to guide you. Whatever argument you too had, won’t even matter after you transform. Eric is bull headed, you knew that going in. It’s your job to give him a kick into reality when he gets out of line.” He said with a light teasing note.
“So, you’re saying you won’t kill me.” she stated emotionlessly
Releasing a fake sigh of regret, Damon released his hold on her to lift a hand up to his face as though to examine it. “Well, you see I just got my nails done.” Damon teased, before lowering his hand. “What’s the real problem, Rebecca?"
“What if I can’t control it? I can’t go to Eric for help, he doesn’t want me anymore and I don’t know what to do.”
A silent pause swept between them as Damon fought against his need to comfort her. According to pack law—he wasn’t allow to interfere between Eric and Rebecca; at least, not any more than he already had. More importantly; Rebecca's first change was a sacred thing. It was meant to be shared between mates, not friends. He wouldn’t be allowed to be there with her when the time came. But what could he do? Without direction she could hurt herself or even die.
Groaning, he knew he didn’t have a choice. Deep down, he knew that Eric would move heaven and hell to be there for Rebecca tonight. But even if he wasn’t; this was something Rebecca would have to face on her own, with or without her mate. Turning to look out the window, he saw that the afternoon sun hung low in the sky. Dusk would be upon them in just a few hours. He had to get her back to the lodge where she could transform safely.
Patting her knee, he rose to his feet. “Get ready to go, Rebecca. Dress in something that’s easy to remove.”
Giving his retreating back a quizzical look, she asked. “Why?”
Turning back to look at her over his shoulder, he replied, “It’s time.”
* ~ * ~ *
An hour later, Damon had quickly gotten some food forced into her and ushered her to the car. It was a long drive from the heavy populated section of Ravenwillow, and the sun had already begun to set. With each second, she could feel the pain of her muscles and bones fade to an icy burning. Fear sought to choke her, but she fought to remain calm. She had Damon with her; he would never let anything happen to her. It would be fine.
Rebecca found herself taking in an unfamiliar sight as Damon carefully pulled off the back road he’d taken into a heavily wooded area. He’d told her that he would bring her back to the lodge, but this looked nothing like the familiar forest that surrounded the property.
“Where are we?”
“This is the wood toward the back of the lodge’s property.”
“Why didn’t you take me straight to the lodge?” she asked, concerned. She didn’t like how Damon wouldn’t meet her gaze. What wasn’t he telling her?
“I don’t want to risk some resentful member of Eric’s pack thinking they can take a run at you. This part of the wood will offer you the seclusion you need.”
“This was your idea?” she asked, hesitant to get out of the car as she fearfully took in the sight of the darkening forest in front of them.
“It was Eric’s idea.”
“Will you be with me? When it happens?” she asked, turning back to look at him. This time, he met her gaze with a sad look.
“No. I cannot. This is one of the most sacred of our laws, Rebecca. This is something you must face on your own. It’s too personal for me to be a part of. Your wolf will know what to do. I have no doubt that Eric will be close by, ready to be at your side when the moon rises.”
Shaking slightly at the finality that his words held, Rebecca undid her seat belt. Opening her door, she shifted to get out of the car, but froze. Reaching out, Damon’s hand settled on her back in comfort.
“What is it?”
“What am I suppose to do?”
“Start walking into the forest until you find a place within the forest that feels right to you and your wolf. You will feel it deep inside when you get there. After that; when the moon is at its highest, you will feel your wolf rising. Don’t fear this. Accept it and let her come forth.”
Releasing a shuttering breath, she nodded. “Anything else?”
“Be certain you’re naked.”
“What?!” she exclaimed, unsure if he was teasing or not.
“Just a little piece of advice for you to remember,” he said with a grin. “Now; this is the part of the evening where I kick you out of my car and leave you in the middle of the woods.” With a shooing motion, he motioned for her
to get out.
With a look of uncertainty, she climbed out of the car, slamming the door closed. Not a moment later, Damon’s engine roared to life, his headlights turning on as he slowly put the car in reverse and back onto the road. With a final wave, he disappeared down the road, leaving Rebecca standing at the edge of the tree line with a heavy stone sinking in the pit of her belly.
Turning to look in the distance, she saw the last of the day’s light was quickly fading. Steeling herself, she turned back around, looking straight ahead. Inhaling a steady breath, she took the first step.
33
Running fast through the woods, Eric allowed his long strides to carry himself closer and closer to the scent of his mate. He’d run for the last day to get back to Ravenwillow and now he was quickly running out of time. He along with one of his trackers and two hunters had tracked Jason’s scent far beyond his boarders in Virginia to the deep forgotten forests of Massachusetts.
They’d found the charred remains of a building where Jason’s scent ended, and found nothing. No matter how further they traveled in their wolf forms, Jason’s scent had vanished and no other scent could be found. The whole situation concerned him deeply. As there was no established pack of shifter in the surrounding area, Eric was forced to be cautious on any shifters they scented around them.
Leaving his hunters and tracker behind, he had left orders that they continue to comb for signs of anything that could lead to Jason’s whereabouts. He was desperate to discover what had happened to his friend and beta, but he’d already failed Rebecca several times over as her mate, he refused to let her face this night alone.
In his wolf form his long legs allowed him to cover more distance. He’d passed into his territory an hour ago was nearly at the lodge’s property. He’d bade Damon to take her to the boarder of the property, to make sure she would be away from lingering members of his pack until he could reach her.
Her scent grew stronger with each powerful lunge of his legs. He knew he’d found her before his eyes had even spotted her. In the middle of a grove, the moonlight flowed down over the open area beside a flowing stream. In the mist of the silence and beauty of the night, he saw her. Never had she looked more beautiful to him.
Standing in the open with her back to him, he watched her shiver slightly as Rebecca allowed the flowing green, gypsy shirt she wore to fall to her ankles. When she unbuttoned her white blouse and pealed the material over her shoulders, the moonlight hit her naked skin, caressing it to his eyes. The soft material of her blouse slid down her arms before joining the discarded skirt.
Standing bare foot in only a pale pink, cotton bra and panties, her shaking intensified. Pausing, he wondered if the trembling of her body was due to the cool night breeze around them or from apprehension.
The thought of her going through this with no one to lean on, pained him. No longer would she feel hurt or fear around him. He’d made so many mistakes with his mate. He’d underestimated her at every turn. His only excuse was that he thought he was doing the right thing, shielding her from the harsh reality that he had to face. But he had to face the facts when it came to his mate.
Rebecca was strong in mind, strong in heart and most importantly; she was strong in spirit. Rebecca wasn’t a woman to run away screaming for her life. She’d survived a fucking werewolf attack, for goodness sake! She was made for him in every way. She deserved his respect and deserved the opportunity to come into her own strengths as a shifter. Most of all; her place was to stand by his side.
Note to self: grovel, grovel, and beg for her forgiveness…
Shifting to his human form, he stepped from the shadows of the trees and into the open space. Moving down the slight incline, he watched her shoulders stiffen as she heard him approach. Turning to look over her shoulders, he watched as need and happiness flared in her eyes at seeing him. The sight eased the tightness in his chest.
“Eric…”
Before she could say anything more, his hand cupped the side of her tilted face before lowering his mouth to hers. His free hand lowered to wrap around her waist, gently pulling her against his front as one of her arms reached up to circle around his neck while the other gripped his restraining hand.
Every word that he wanted to say to her, every emotion that he wanted to convey to her, he poured through his kiss. Finding the will to break the kiss, he sighed at the wondrous feel of completion at holding her once again. He never wanted to be without this and he would make sure he never was.
Lowering his cupping hand, he undid the closure of her bra at her back. Immediately, she stiffened with confusion. “Eric…?”
“Shh…” he whispered gently against her ear as she turned around to grab her loosened bra before it could fall. “I can smell your wolf. She’s nearly ready to emerge. We can talk after this night. Tonight is about you, nothing else.”
Sliding his hands down her arms, he pushed the limp bra straps down, forcing her to allow it to fall to the ground. Smoothing a caressing hand over the tempting swell of her full breasts, he allowed his hand to drop to her waist before drawing her panties down until they pooled at her ankles. Carefully unwinding the ace bandage that still remained wrapped around her ribs, he toss it aside as well. Standing just as bare as he was, Eric turned her to face him, his eyes focused on no other part of her other than her eyes.
Her body began trembling more as her eyes widened with fear. “Eric…I don’t think I can do this…” she whimpered softly. Uncertain and terrified. This was his fault. He’d allowed her to think he wouldn’t be there for her with his thoughtless words. He couldn’t allow her to go through this thinking that.
Cupping both sides of her face, he bore his eyes into hers. “Listen to me, Rebecca, because it isn’t often that I apologize for anything.”
Her eyebrow rose at him with a ‘gee, you think?’ look. “There’s a bit of surprising news…” she jibed at him, fighting to keep the tremble from her voice.
Ignoring her comment, he pressed on. “I was wrong. Since I brought you here, I have been so fearful and prideful that I sought to keep things from you, things that I never should have.”
“What could you possibly be afraid of?” she asked, disbelievingly.
“Of losing you and your love that you have weakened me with. When Beth left me all those years ago, I gave up the thought of feeling anything for someone else. If I could go back, I would do it all differently. I would trust you, when I didn’t. I would tell you everything, when I withheld things. Please forgive me. Let me stand by your side and you by mine.” He pled, his eyes searching hers.
Rebecca’s hands settled on his chest over his pounding heart as he waited for her answer. Licking her lips absently, she raised her eyes to meet his. “What about Beth? She’s back and she would make a perfect mate for you other than a changed human like me.”
Leaning close, he pressed his forehead against hers, holding her gaze the whole time. “I already have a perfect mate and she is in my arms right now. Beth is my past and I would never choose her over you. You were right, I was wrong to introduce you as my help to her. But I was worried for your safety. Beth’s parents live within my pack and I feared they’d retaliate against you. I wanted to wait until you had safely transitioned before I introduced you to my pack.”
Softening against him, Rebecca sighed, pulling away from him. She appeared like she was about to say something more to him, but stopped as her body tensed. Wincing, she gripped his arms so tightly that her nails bit into his skin. At the bite of pain, he looked down to see her small rounded nails had begun to grow into deadly tipped claws. Jerking his awing gaze up to her face, he found her eyes glowing brightly in the darkness.
It was time.
Shoving away from him, Rebecca stumbled to the ground as her legs gave out beneath her. Falling to her hands and knees, she panted as her bones began to painfully reshape from her human form to her wolf. She was fighting it.
Worried that she’d harm herself with her stubbornn
ess to allow the change to happen, Eric shifted back into his wolf form. Moving toward her lowered head, he bumped her chin with his muzzle.
“Rebecca, you have to let this happen.” He said through the mind link that all shifters shared.
Her eyes widened impossibly further as she heard his words in her mind. “H-How?”
“Your wolf wants to be freed, let her take over. She will know what to do.” He urged gently.
“I…” she winched in pain as her hands began contorting and reshaping, slowly and painfully. “I don’t think I can. What if I lose myself? What if I can’t find my way back?”
“That’s why I am here. I will never let you be lost. Accept her and let go.”
He knew the instant that she’d done as he asked. Instead of the slow random shifting that had occurred when she’d fought against the call of her beast, now her imaged blurred with white mist around her as her wolf came forth. Before his eyes, Eric found himself seeing the birth of his true mate in all ways. Lying with her legs tucked under her, Rebecca lifted her muzzle toward his hovering one. Eyes going wide with wonder, she leapt onto her feet with a chuff of shock.
“I did it…?” she asked hesitantly, lifting a brown paw to look at it suspiciously. He felt his lips curl in a slight smile as she turned her head to inspect her long silky tail behind her.
“You did.” Moving toward her, he nudged her toward a different direction. Stepping in front of her, he tilted his head forward. “Follow me. There is much I want to show you about being a wolf.”
“Cool it, Mr. Daniels.” She said with air of superiority. “I got this covered.” She stated confidently, clearly taking to her new form quicker than he’d anticipated.
“Oh really?” he asked mockingly, moving to circle her smaller frame. “I’d like to see that.”
“You asked for it.” slapping his side with her tail, Rebecca raced forward, his eyes following her until she disappeared from sight. With a smile of pride, he followed after her.
Hunger of the Heart (Wolves of Ravenwillow Book 1) Page 36
