by Alexa Steele
Lillie had the same look and build as Joslyn—long blond hair, blue eyes, an angular face, slim and fit. Jamie left them alone and went to check on the girls. The sun cast a deep orange light through the double-hung windows, hitting the camel and burgundy silk pillows in such a way they seemed to sparkle.
She spoke quietly about Jos’s love for her daughters and what a good mom and sister she had been.
“Her life was her girls,” Lillie whispered sadly. “She loved them with all her heart. If anyone did anything to hurt them she jumped into action. Whatever it was. That was her red line. If you crossed her girls, you crossed her.”
“Sounds like a great mom,” Bella said wistfully, seeing Jos’s terrified eyes.
“She was. She could have had a great career, but her first priority was being a mom. I am older than her, but she was my role model.”
“Was there anything going on in her life lately that was causing her trouble?” Bella began.
Lillie’s taut expression spoke volumes as she pursed her lips, nodded seriously, and looked nervously at the door.
“My sister was extremely agitated recently, for a variety of reasons. I hardly know where to begin…”
“Let’s go slowly. One thing at a time,” Bella replied, soothingly.
“She found a bunch of Adderall pills in Carly’s drawer one day. Not her usual pills—these were thirty milligrams. Her normal dose was ten. She demanded to know where they came from and she and Carly had a terrible fight. Carly wouldn’t tell her.”
“When was this?” Bella asked.
“Right after Easter,” Lillie replied.
Bella nodded.
Lillie continued. “The fights with Carly did not end. During one of them Carly told her it wouldn’t matter if Jos convinced her psychiatrist to stop writing her prescriptions, because she knew where to get it at school. That was all Jos had to hear. After that, she was on a tear to find out what that meant.”
“Why didn’t she go to the principal?” Bella wanted to know.
“Because she didn’t want Carly dragged into something illegal,” Lillie said nervously. “She said she was going to handle it herself.”
“Why not ask Jamie for help? Did he know about this?”
“She didn’t want to involve him. She knew he would think she was making too much of it, being too sensitive, making a mountain out of a molehill. She felt he didn’t take her seriously anymore.”
This bothered Bella. “Why not?”
“I don’t know. That’s how she phrased it. Jos was brilliant, but she complained that Jamie always shut her down, always downplayed her concerns or feelings. He loved her brain, at least when they were young, but as he became so successful she kind of faded into the background.”
Bella pictured Jos again and felt a momentary pang of sadness.
“The last I heard about this was what she told me a few nights ago,” Lillie said.
“What was that?” Bella asked.
Lillie began to cry. “She said she had found a way to get to the bottom of it. We were interrupted and I didn’t know what she meant and, well, we traded calls yesterday. Then she wasn’t home last night. She was at that gala…” She began sobbing. Bella handed her a glass of water and pulled some tissues out of a box and handed them to her. After a few minutes she calmed down.
“OK. What else was going on?” Bella asked gently.
Lillie thought for a moment and rested her head in her hands.
“She hated Greenvale. Jamie refused to move, though, and she didn’t want to uproot the girls. But this year she reached her limit. She tried to extricate herself from the group of women she had become aligned with. It was impossible though. All of their daughters were close friends. She felt trapped.”
“Why did she want to break away?”
“They are cruel, to each other’s faces and behind each other’s backs, though they call themselves best friends. It’s insane,” Lillie said. “My sister finally acknowledged it. They act like they are still in high school with their daughters. It’s pathetic.”
Bella listened intently as Lillie spoke. She pictured Jos’s twisted, convulsed body and her petrified eyes.
“What about Jamie?” Bella asked.
Lillie looked toward the door.
“They were OK. Not great. They were considering a marriage counselor. Well, Jos wanted to go to one. Jamie finally agreed. He was hardly home anymore,” she added sadly. “She felt kind of forgotten. But she still loved him…” She trailed off before continuing.
“Christmas break they took the girls to Mexico with Stephanie, Kim, and Jenna’s families. Jos was dreading it. They had booked it last year. Things took a turn for the worse one night when she woke up and Jamie was not in bed. She went down to the lobby and found him in the lounge at three thirty in the morning with Stephanie, at a table. They claimed it was a coincidence bumping into each other like that. They had each been unable to sleep, they told her. Jos wanted to believe him. She was kind of struggling with it though. I mean, how many women do you know would go down to a lounge at three thirty in the morning in Mexico? Alone?”
Lillie rolled her eyes when she said this. Bella felt another twinge. She realized now she may have judged her too early.
“Was there fallout?” Bella asked cautiously.
“Oh yes,” Lillie replied right away. “I know the rest of the trip was ruined for her. As soon as she got home she left the tennis team she had been on with Stephanie for years.”
“I meant fallout with Jamie.”
“Oh,” answered Lillie. “It certainly didn’t bring them closer.”
“Did your sister think Jamie and Stephanie were having an affair?”
“She didn’t want to believe it. She truly didn’t know.” Lillie shrugged her shoulders and looked scared when she added, “But she suspected.”
CHAPTER 17
Carly and Alex entered the room soon thereafter, and snuggled on the couch wearing workout shorts and oversized hoodies over their thin, athletic bodies. At 5’ 9” with long wavy blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, Carly looked like the older sister. Alex leaned in next to her, her long, wavy, deep auburn hair framing her face, her big blue eyes dazed. Jamie sat next to Alex with his arm around her and Carly rested her head on Lillie’s shoulder. Bella would have preferred Jamie not be there, but she had no choice.
Bella leaned forward and gently began by asking if there was anything upsetting their mom lately. Alex looked at Carly with a worried look on her face as Carly described how upset her mother had been about the suicides in town, how she blamed it on Adderall, and how she had fought with Dr. Weber last week. At the mention of a fight Jamie jumped in.
“What do you mean she fought with your doctor?” Jamie queried.
“A fight, Dad. It was crazy. And embarrassing. She wanted Dr. Weber to stop giving me Adderall,” Carly whined.
Jamie looked at Bella and seemed embarrassed.
“Why didn’t I know about this?” He sounded like he was in a boardroom.
“Are you serious?” Carly rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Before he could say anything she continued, “I can’t function at Vanderbilt without my Adderall. Mom suggested a gap year to get it out of my system, or that I go to my safety school so I could have less pressure. She was actually serious!” She looked desperate, her eyes widening as she spoke. “Four years of killing myself to get in only to turn it down? OK, that’s a good plan,” she railed, but she wasn’t finished yet.
“You both told me I needed it all these years, so I took it and did what I needed to do. And I got into Vanderbilt—wasn’t that the point? Everything was fine until Sam and Sophie killed themselves and all of a sudden Mom reconsiders? She gets it into her head it’s a bad drug?”
Lillie looked straight at Bella. Jamie looked straight at Carly. Alex looked down.
“Carly, I didn’t know your mom was so upset. I wish you had told me,” Jamie barely spit out.
/> “How can I tell you when you are never here?” Carly exploded. “Leave a message with your secretary and hope you call me back?”
Her voice was loud, her tone caustic. Jamie was clearly trying to remain calm.
“Carly, now is not the time to yell and argue. I—”
But before he could finish she blasted him again. “And why is it my job to tell you? She was your wife! Why didn’t she tell you? Why didn’t the two of you discuss your own daughter?”
Jamie looked startled by her anger, and her bite. He said nothing.
Bella knew it was risky, but the moment was ripe. “Carly, did Dr. Weber increase your dose of Adderall to thirty milligrams recently?”
A silence descended. Carly’s eyes filled with tears and she looked away.
“It’s OK, sweetie,” Bella said, trying to calm her. “You are not in any kind of trouble here. All of this probably has nothing to do with what happened last night. We are just trying to get a sense of what was going on in your mom’s life these past few weeks, that’s all.”
“I take ten milligrams and I never took a thirty-milligram pill before in my life,” Carly answered firmly. “Maybe I took one when I needed to stay up late and study,” she added, immediately contradicting what she had just said. “But Dr. Weber did not give them to me.”
“Hadn’t your mom found some in your room?” Bella smiled sadly when she said this.
Carly looked shocked that Bella knew that. So did Jamie.
“They weren’t mine,” Carly replied nervously.
“OK. Whose were they?” Bella gently prodded.
“Why does it matter? What does this have to do with anything?” Carly started crying again. Lillie put her arms around her.
“I need to know, Carly,” Bella said as mildly as she could.
“I don’t know. I have friends who take thirty milligrams. One of them must have left some in my room,” Carly said sullenly.
Bella didn’t believe her, but decided now was not the moment to push it.
“OK, girls. What about your trip to Mexico Christmas break?”
Lillie gave Carly a glass of water to help her calm down.
“What about it?” Jamie answered for them.
“Did your mom have a good time? Did she and her friends seem happy?” Bella kept her focus on Carly as she asked this and tried to sound lighthearted.
Alex lifted her head and she and her sister looked at one another.
“Not so much.” Carly shrugged. “There was stress because that’s when we found out I got into Vandy ED. My best friend Jessie’s dream was to get in, but she got deferred. We all heard at the same time. We were on the beach. It sucked. For her.”
She looked at her father, who was stoic. Alex spoke up for the first time.
“Jenna was so mean to Mom, right, Dad?”
Jamie opened and then closed his mouth as if he didn’t know what to say. He looked confused.
Alex continued, “When everyone was congratulating Carly, Jenna got up from her lounge chair without saying a word and walked off the beach—she didn’t even congratulate Carly. I feel bad for Jessie to have her as a mom. She’s such a bitch.”
“Alex!” Jamie interrupted. “Please don’t talk that way.”
All eyes were on her.
“Oh please, Dad. Mom put up with so much. Are you seriously pretending Jenna was her good friend? Do you not remember when you made a toast to Carly in Mexico and Mom was desperately trying to get you to stop? She was getting nonstop glares from Jenna and couldn’t take it anymore.”
Jamie looked down. “I didn’t notice. I wasn’t really paying attention to Jenna,” he answered.
“Well, could you have paid attention to Mom?” Carly interrupted angrily.
Before he could respond, Alex added, “Jenna wouldn’t speak to Mom that whole night. Neither would Stephanie or Kim. I love your friends, but their moms are just not good people,” Alex remarked as she looked at Carly.
“I know. I hate them.”
“Girls!” Jamie sputtered uselessly. “Your mother considered them close friends.”
Both girls looked at him with wonder.
“Mom hated them. Jenna is a nightmare. Stephanie and Kim are desperate wanna be’s. She kept things copasetic for my sake, Dad. Mom had no friends in this town—no real ones anyway. Except maybe Erika.”
Jamie jerked his head up like he had been slapped.
“We spoke to Erika today,” Bella quickly jumped in. “She told us your mom left her tennis team after the trip to Mexico. Do you know why?”
Bella was wondering if she would get anything out of them about Stephanie and deliberately did not look at Jamie when she asked this. The room was quiet. The sky outside had darkened.
“Did something else happen on that trip that upset your mom? Anything you know of?” Bella asked again, looking at both girls.
The tension in the air was palpable. Bella snuck a peek at Jamie, who had his head down, staring at the floor. Lillie stared blankly out the window. The girls looked at one another and shook their heads no. Maybe Jos hadn’t shared with them what she had witnessed in the lounge. Maybe they did know, but didn’t want to say anything in front of their father.
“Mom hardly came down for dinner the whole trip,” Alex added sadly.
“That’s because she got a stomach bug from the water,” Jamie added, looking nervous.
“No, Dad, Mom was fine. She just didn’t want to be with anyone.” Carly looked at him incredulously when she said this, as though he were the dumbest person on the planet. “Did you seriously think she had a stomach bug?”
Jamie stared, mouth open. It was pretty clear how out of touch he had been in his own home. Bella realized these girls were way more astute than their father when it came to their mother—they had paid attention. His face and jaw were clenched as he looked down at Alex, who was burrowed in his arms. When he lifted his head he looked at Lillie. She stared at him for a few seconds then looked away.
CHAPTER 18
It was 10 p.m. when Bella and Mack walked through the heavy double steel doors emblazoned PRECINCT 109 straight into Billy’s office, each in their own head. Billy sat in his office devouring a bucket of KFC, a six-pack of Dr Pepper prominently displayed on his desk. Back in the Bronx, she felt like herself for the first time all day, relieved as hell to be out of Greenvale. She breathed in the smell of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne and smiled, knowing if anyone saw her happily doing so they would think she was crazy. Maybe she was. To think people yearned to live in places like that—she just didn’t get it. The American dream—what Ryan had once offered.
Ryan.
Suddenly, she ached for him.
“Janey, bring it in here,” Billy bellowed as he dug into a drumstick. Janey was Billy’s beloved secretary of twenty-three years. Five feet tall, supremely overweight, she’d had her world turned upside down six months earlier when she unexpectedly became a widow. These days she hung around the precinct later than ever and spoke of retirement with dread.
“Aright, alright, no need to holler,” Janey said as she waddled into his office, report in hand, and gave Bella a quick squeeze on her way in. She had a soft spot for Bella—most people did.
The preliminary report from the medical examiner’s office had arrived and Billy pored over it as he devoured the greasy chicken. Bella helped herself to a piece and Mack popped open a soda, sat back, and drank. It was dinner the way she liked it—yummy and relaxed.
“Well, I’ll be dammed.” Billy sounded genuinely surprised. “Our girl was poisoned.”
Mack looked at Bella and nodded, impressed.
Billy paraphrased the report:
“Asphyxiation from cyanide poisoning. Blood analysis shows a lethal level—eight point three grams’ worth running through her veins. Jesus Christ.” Billy paused, shaking his head. “A woman of a hundred twenty pounds could die from a hundred sixty-eight milligrams—eight point three grams is about fifty times the lethal concen
tration. Talk about overkill.”
He stopped reading and looked up at them.
“Who told them to test for cyanide?”
Bella smiled.
“Good job.”
“Just a gut feeling,” she replied, winking at Mack slyly.
Billy kept reading. “Lactate levels in blood extremely high…increased proportionally with the amount of cyanide levels due to metabolic acidosis…yada, yada, OK, this is pretty technical. It’s like reading a goddamn chemistry manual. We got what we need.”
“That amount of cyanide would have killed her instantly,” Bella remarked as Mack downed his soda.
“Gave it to her on the boat then,” Billy commented.
“There was vomit on a path heading down to the water,” Mack pointed out.
“Does the report say how she was exposed?” Bella asked.
Billy looked down at it. “No, just that it was in her blood. Big time.”
“She would have collapsed instantly. He had to have poisoned her on the boat. The sexual assault?” she added as an afterthought.
Billy looked down at the report.
“Postmortem,” he replied in a sullen voice.
“Motherfucker,” Mack said quietly under his breath.
“So she was raped afterwards,” Bella said more to herself than anyone else in the room. “An extraneous gift.”
“No semen inside or out. But she was torn up with something sharp.”
“So he rips her up but doesn’t rape her?” Mack asked.
“Or raped her with a blade. A sexual attack fueled by anger, not arousal,” Bella explained.
“Then he had a specific beef with her, ’cause he didn’t mark up the girls,” Mack pointed out.
“This isn’t Ridley’s MO,” Billy remarked grumpily. “Too violent.”
“Don’t forget what ten years in the slammer can do to a person,” Mack pointed out.
“We’ll find out what it did to him soon enough,” Billy replied.
“Any news on where he might be?”
“Still looking,” was all Billy said. “What did you learn about Powell?”
“He’s a pretty boy from Kansas—meek, small. Found him taking a nap when we visited. Looked scared as hell, swore up and down he’s not involved. This ain’t his MO either. He was collared for raping a young boy and trying to strangle him to death. I don’t think he’s our guy, but we got him on radar. He’s not going anywhere.”
