by Barb Han
She’d take things one step at a time. For now, she’d secure Ryder’s help. Finding Nicholas had to be her top priority even if it meant turning her life upside down.
“Getting out anytime soon or do you plan to sit in here all night?” Ryder asked, and he sounded concerned.
Faith hadn’t realized the pickup had stopped.
“Yeah, sure.” She blinked at him.
He sat there, staring at her, making everything harder than she expected. In her heart of hearts she’d known that she couldn’t keep the pregnancy secret from him forever. Her obstetrician had said she could expect to start showing soon. This being the first pregnancy had bought her some extra time and she could easily cover what was going on so far.
Time was supposed to bring wisdom as to how she should handle sharing the news. It hadn’t. She hadn’t breathed a word to anyone. And keeping a secret like this had been more than difficult. It felt good to finally tell someone about the baby, but she needed to stay on track. None of her problems seemed as important or immediate as finding Nicholas.
The sky was pitch-black as she climbed out of the truck. The chilly air nipped at her through her dress. She wished she’d worn a coat as she shivered. Normally, the hot hormones had her wishing she could pack herself in ice. Not today.
A blanket of clouds covered the stars. It was too dark outside to see where he’d taken her, and she’d been in a daze for the ride over, not paying attention. As she gained her footing in the gravel it hit her. Ryder had taken her to the fishing cabin.
A wall of memories crashed around her. This was the place they’d met countless times, made love more than she cared to remember...and she’d lost her heart.
Doubts crept in as to whether or not she was doing the right thing being with Ryder at all with every step toward the cabin. He had the power to crush her with a few words.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else to talk.” Panic squeezed her chest as she approached the basic log cabin. A reasonable voice overrode her emotions. Ryder was the only one she could tell about Nicholas and the only one who understood how much was at stake as she made the decision to locate him.
“No one will find us here. Isn’t that what you want?” His deep voice, warm and soothing, was like pouring whiskey over crackling ice.
“Yes,” she conceded, very aware of the masculine presence behind her, guiding her with his hand on the small of her back.
Chapter Two
Faith sat on the edge of the couch in the living room, ignoring the sensual shivers climbing up her arms. She wished she could block out memories as easily. The last time she and Ryder had been at the cabin, their naked bodies had been entwined until morning.
Tall, with the muscles of a well-honed athlete, Ryder had a physical appeal that hadn’t dimmed in the least and her hormones had all of her senses heightened. His dark hair framed a squared jaw, and he had the most piercing jet-black eyes. Everything about the way he looked communicated strength, confidence and a little bit of danger. And after the news she’d broken, fierceness. All of which would be a good thing if she could harness it toward helping find Nicholas.
“Take me back to the beginning. How do you know the baby is mine?” Ryder’s question was a bullet to the heart.
“You were the only option,” she fired back, and her plan of using the other men to throw everyone off the trail seemed to dawn on him.
“Did you plan on telling me eventually?” he asked after another uneasy minute had passed.
“Yes, and we can discuss anything else you want after we find Nicholas.” She needed to direct the conversation back on task.
“Holding a pregnancy over my head is blackmail, Faith.” His normally strong, all-male persona faded with the look of confusion in his dark eyes.
She hated that this was her fault. Well, not the pregnancy. It’d taken two to dance that tango. She took the blame for the way Ryder was finding out. Seeing the hurt in his eyes knifed her. But she needed to stay strong for Nicholas’s sake and not let anything else derail her from her search. She knew in her heart that her brother was in trouble. “I’m sorry for how this has gone down, Ryder. I truly am. But I’m desperate to find Nicholas and you weren’t going to help me any other way.”
He seemed to take a minute to contemplate that thought while he assessed her, his attention on her belly.
“How much longer before the baby comes?” he asked.
“I’m almost five months along,” she said, her hand instinctively coming up to her stomach.
“Boy or girl?” His voice was steel, giving nothing away of his emotions now.
“One of those,” she said. Having her doctor tell her the sex of the baby made it that much more real. For that reason, she’d decided to wait. And then there was the fact that it seemed wrong to know without the father present.
“They don’t know?”
“I asked my doctor not to tell me,” she said.
Another few minutes of silence passed. Her need to press Ryder in order to get his agreement to help find Nicholas warred with her better judgment. She’d played her hand with Ryder and there wasn’t much more she could do to follow the trail without his help, not without the possibility of putting their baby at risk given that the SUV driver was becoming more aggressive.
Three days was a long time to be missing. Anything could be happening to her little brother right now...
Tears burst through just thinking about any harm coming to Nicholas.
“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to pull it together, “it’s just hormones giving me mood swings. They make it hard to think rationally.”
Ryder studied her.
“How do you know your half brother didn’t get fed up with his mother and run away?” he asked as she tried to force her gaze away from his lips—lips that made her body zing with awareness at the thought of how he’d once used the tip of his tongue to trail her curves. Faith admonished herself. That thought couldn’t be more inappropriate under the circumstances. Her hormones didn’t just make her emotional. They made her miss having sex even more.
“We had plans, and besides, he would’ve told me,” she said.
“You sure about that? Even people you think you know can shock the hell out of you.” Ryder’s tense, aggressive posture would strike fear in any reasonable person. She knew him well enough to know that he would never do anything to hurt her.
Faith told herself nothing mattered more than getting his agreement to help find Nicholas. And she was making gains on that front; she could tell by how bunched his face muscles looked and the tic over his left eye—all positive signs she was making headway. He was in conflict with himself and that was a good thing for her. The very fact that he’d agreed to discuss the matter privately was her first real step in the right direction. She could put up with his intense scrutiny if it meant gaining his agreement to find her brother.
“As sure as I can be. We’re close. I’ve been checking on him ever since I found out about him, so around kindergarten, and he doesn’t have any other siblings. Well, none that he knows,” she said. “My brothers would never acknowledge him if they knew, and he’s so much better than they are anyway. I would do anything I could to keep them separate and make sure they had no influence over him.”
This wasn’t the time to recount all the shortcomings of McCabe men.
“Why do you know about him but your brothers don’t?” he asked. It was a fair question.
“I spent summers working for my dad. I was being groomed for the family business and my job was learning the paperwork. I don’t have to tell you how much running a ranch is about dealing with stacks of documents. Legal papers were on my dad’s desk. I guess they got mixed up with a stack of bills. He was being sued for child support by Nicholas’s mother. You can imagine how that turned out. My dad got himself out
of paying. Actually his lawyers did. So I’ve been sneaking money to Nicholas for the past ten years.”
“How do you know he’s your blood relative?” he asked.
She retrieved her cell phone from her purse and then scrolled through pictures, stopping at a recent one of her and Nicholas together. She held out her phone to Ryder so he could see.
“There’s no denying the resemblance,” he said, studying the likeness.
“He looks like a mini, younger version of Jason, only he’s nicer.” Jason was the youngest of her three brothers and her senior by four years. He’d been the toughest, too, having spent his life proving to his two older brothers, Jesse and Jimmy, that he could hold his own.
“I’ve learned not to trust the actions of any McCabe,” Ryder said flatly. He was obviously referring to her walking out and the pregnancy news.
She had that coming.
Glancing down at her stomach, she said, “I didn’t do this alone.”
Ryder made a face like he was about to say something hateful and seemed to think better of it, when he pressed his lips into a thin line instead.
“It’s probably for the best if we stick to the reason we’re here. For now,” Ryder said. Those last two words came out as a warning she knew better than to disregard.
“Fine.” She had no doubt the two of them would be doing a lot of talking about the future of their baby once the dust settled. A very large part of her had been dreading the inevitable conversation with him for months now and yet another side couldn’t deny that she wanted to involve Ryder. The first trimester had been too much about trying to keep food down to worry about what she would say to him. Who knew morning sickness actually meant throwing up all day? Her queasiness had finally let up a couple of weeks ago and she’d been trying to plan out her words ever since. She’d tried to convince herself that it would be a good idea to leave town without ever telling Ryder. She knew in her heart that she could never do that to him. No matter how strong the arguments against it waged inside her head, he had a right to know.
Ryder pulled a chair from the kitchenette, turned it around backward and straddled it opposite the coffee table. “Tell me what really has you so worried.”
“Nicholas might be a McCabe but he’s nothing like the boys in my family, despite having a worthless mother. He’s fifteen and plays on the school soccer team. His grades are good. He’s always talking about a future, getting a scholarship, going to college,” she said, probably more defensively than she’d intended. “He’s a decent kid, Ryder.”
“If that were completely true, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” Ryder had a way of looking right through her. She worried he’d see her fear while she was trying to put up a brave front.
“That’s why none of this makes sense. He wouldn’t just disappear like that. He’s not that kind of kid.”
Ryder’s look of disbelief struck a bad chord.
“I know you can’t stand my family and you may never trust me again, but I know Nicholas wouldn’t up and disappear without telling me,” she said, hating the defensiveness in her tone. Ryder’s not believing her hurt more than it should.
“What else do you know about his life besides what I could read on a college application? Have you met any of his friends?” Ryder asked.
“We kept our relationship secret. So, no,” she said honestly.
“Seems you’re full of deceptions,” he shot back. “I’m guessing that’s why I never heard about him before.”
Her first instinct was to fight back. She let that zinger go for the sake of her little brother, even though it scored a direct hit. Common sense said that arguing with Ryder wouldn’t get her what she needed. Besides, a little piece of her knew that Ryder had every right to be upset with her and he was still reacting to the bomb she’d dropped on him. She should’ve gone to him with the news or given him a better reason for the breakup, instead of chickening out while she was waiting for him so they could talk and deciding to scribble her exit on the only thing she had in her purse, a Post-it.
“My father went to great lengths to cover up his relationship with Nicholas’s mother. I thought he might dish out repercussions against the two of them if he knew I was seeing my brother. That’s the reason for the deception. I couldn’t risk telling anyone. Not even you,” she said.
“He would’ve been angry with you, too. Are you sure you weren’t protecting yourself?” Ryder said in that unnerving steady tone.
“I don’t care what happens to me,” she retorted. “Or at least I didn’t until now.” She touched her belly.
“What about your mom?”
“I was fairly sure she had no idea about Nicholas. But she’s been acting stranger than usual lately. Jumpy. But that could just be a change in her anxiety medication.”
“Self-preservation seems to be a genetic survival trait in McCabe women,” he said in a low enough voice that she could still hear it.
She chose not to respond.
“What are you really afraid Nicholas got himself into?” Ryder asked.
She shot him a grateful look for the change in subject. “He wouldn’t stand me up without a good reason, and he always responds to my texts. I’m afraid for him, Ryder.”
“Could he have a recreational drinking or drug habit?”
“No.” Her shoulders slumped forward. “He has a good head on his shoulders. He’s a decent person despite bad circumstances.”
* * *
RYDER COULDN’T HELP but notice how many times Faith had mentioned that her little brother was a decent kid. Was she trying to convince him, or herself? As much as he doubted any McCabe son could be good, he would give Faith the benefit of the doubt. His trust was an entirely different story.
If he was going to help—and there was no refusing now that he knew she was possibly pregnant with his child and there was the slightest chance of foul play—he needed more information. Besides, the faster he could help her find Nicholas, the sooner he’d be able to focus on what he really wanted to know more about—the baby she was carrying.
“You haven’t spoken to his mother. There could be an easy explanation for all this, Faith,” he said, ignoring the tension sitting like a wall between them.
Faith shook her head. “I didn’t want her to know about our relationship. It would only cause more tension between the two of them and I doubt she’d welcome a McCabe anyway, considering my father hasn’t stepped up to help her in any way. She can’t be happy that he refused support, and I’m not saying that he’s right but neither is sleeping with a married man.”
“She may be able to clear this up in five minutes. We have to talk to her,” he said plainly.
“After the way my father treated her I doubt she’ll want to see anyone from his side of the family again.” Faith made a harrumph sound.
“That may well be true. Doesn’t mean we skip a step,” he said. If one uncomfortable conversation could clear this up, so be it. “Besides, she can’t be all that bad if Nicholas has turned out as well as you say.”
“Fine. But Nicholas isn’t close to his mother and he wouldn’t tell her if he was in trouble.”
“She may have filed a missing persons report. If she hasn’t, we’ll need her help since she’s his legal guardian. How long did you say he’s been gone?” he asked. Cooperation from Nicholas’s mother would go a long way with the law. In fact, she’d have to be the person to officially report him missing.
“It’s been three days,” she said with a voice so weak Ryder’s heart squeezed. He couldn’t afford to let his emotions overrule logic this time. They’d had him thinking that getting mixed up with her was a good idea in the first place.
“I’ve been on campouts without cell service longer than that,” he said, trying to offer what little reassurance he could under the circumstances.
&nb
sp; Faith shot him a look.
“If his mother filed a report, three days would be enough time for law enforcement to take her seriously,” he said. What if the kid ran away? From what Faith said the boy came from an unstable home. “There are other logical possibilities. Maybe he got impatient. Or he and his mother could’ve gotten into a fight and he’s staying away while they both cool off. She might’ve done something that he didn’t want to tell you about since you don’t like her in the first place.”
“I have to think he would’ve called me like he always does. And he’s never missed a tutoring session.” If that was true she made a good point.
“Maybe he figures you’ll try to talk him into going home and he’s not ready.”
“It’s a thought,” she said without much enthusiasm, and he could tell she was going along with him even though her heart wasn’t in it.
“There’s another more likely possibility,” he offered.
“And that is?” She was clicking through the possibilities with him, and he could tell from her subdued expression that nothing was sparking.
“He might’ve met a girl.” He held his hand up when she started to speak. “Hold on. Hear me out. Fifteen-year-old boys are hormones on legs. It’s possible that he hit it off with someone and is staying at her house for a few days.”
Faith held up her cell phone.
“Last thing a hormonal teenager wants is the voice of reason in his ear. Believe me, I speak from experience,” Ryder said. “We had a lot of those in our house over the years between the six of us boys.”
