by Barb Han
Faith hated deception and lies. She knew without a doubt that Ryder did, too. She would come clean with him, with herself, with everyone. Living a lie, like her mother had, would only destroy her and everyone she’d ever loved. She had every plan to move away, but not before she found Nicholas and then confronted her father.
With his life hanging in the balance, her brother had to come before everything else. Now that she’d lost Ryder, nothing else mattered more than Nicholas and the safety of her child.
Where could Nicholas be? Without access to water, he wouldn’t live three days. The Hattie brothers had been found this morning. Time was a ticking bomb, the enemy, and Faith struggled to conceal the tears streaming down her face.
She stared out the window of the cruiser as Tommy drove.
“Where are we going?” she finally asked.
“Ryder has asked me to take you back to the ranch. He’ll stay in the main house,” Tommy said quietly.
She expected his family friend to come off as judgmental but he only sounded sympathetic.
“I have all my available resources looking for Nicholas. They won’t stop until every stone has been overturned,” Tommy offered.
“Thank you,” she said, sniffing back tears. She’d blame it on hormones, and that might be partially true, but the thought of losing Ryder forever hit so hard she could barely breathe. If it weren’t for the need to find Nicholas, she’d curl up in a ball and cry. “I know my family hasn’t been... They’re messed up beyond belief. I just want you to know how much I appreciate you for helping me in spite of everything they’ve put you through over the years.”
“Family is as much about who you chose to be with as it is about the blood running in your veins,” Tommy said, thoughtfully.
She thought about the fact that he’d grown up practically an O’Brien and she couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to his family. He’d moved in with his uncle, a ranch hand on the O’Brien property, when he was a little boy. Faith never knew what had happened to Tommy’s family or why it had broken up. All she knew was that he was lucky to have had other people who cared about him as one of their own.
“I sent a deputy to get a warrant to search your parents’ place,” Tommy said. “We might find something there to reveal Nicholas’s whereabouts. I’ll keep you posted every step of the way.”
“Can’t say that I deserve your kindness,” Faith said, unsure how she would cope until he was found.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I remember that you were the nicest one in your family,” Tommy said. “Like I said, we can’t decide who links us genetically. But we can determine who our real family is.”
They pulled into the ranch and drove to Ryder’s house. Tommy didn’t make a move to get out.
“Are you coming inside?” Faith asked.
“Nah. I’m going back to my office so I can dig through the files that come in. See about finding your brother,” he said.
“I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done already.”
Tommy nodded, half smiling. “The door’s unlocked and Janis made the place up for you.”
Tears streamed down Faith’s cheeks at the thought of being inside Ryder’s house without him.
“Give him time. He’ll come around,” Tommy said, sounding hopeful. There was no real conviction in his voice.
“No. He won’t. But thank you for saying that.” She closed the door to the cruiser and figured she needed to figure out her next step.
Inside Ryder’s place, there was a note signed from Janis. She’d put fresh-baked cookies on the counter and wanted Faith to help herself. There was a meal in the fridge that just needed to be microwaved. All the instructions were there. Faith doubted she could eat anything, but she recognized that starving herself wouldn’t be healthy for the baby, either. Maybe she could find a way to get down a few bites if she kept that thought close to her heart.
The feeling of hopelessness was an oppressive weight on her chest. After everything she’d been through to find her brother, he was still missing. Her mother and brother had no idea where the Hatties had taken Nicholas. With the remorse in her mother’s voice, Faith knew she would’ve told her if she’d known his location. Faith had acted quickly before, but her mother could’ve shot her a dozen times in that parking lot and didn’t. And when she finally managed to pull the trigger, she’d missed.
“Everything okay?” Celeste’s voice came from the hallway.
“No,” Faith said. “It’s not.”
With those words, the dam broke and a flood of tears rocked her body.
Comforting arms embraced her as she put her head on Celeste’s shoulder and gave in to the emotions overwhelming her.
Chapter Thirteen
“My father took everything from them, their land. He took everything that was good about my mother and shattered it,” Faith said to Celeste. “That’s what started all of this.”
Celeste took Faith’s hand.
“The Hatties wrote the note and then took Nicholas, thinking you’d be none the wiser. My mother was behind it all,” Faith said. “They all figured he’d be home before you even noticed him missing. They thought my father would care. I have to believe that no one wanted Nicholas hurt. But the men who took him are dead along with the girl.”
“If that’s true and they had no intention of harming my boy, then he’s somewhere tucked away safe,” Celeste said. “And that means the sheriff or one of his men will find him.”
“Everything’s a mess because of my family,” Faith said on a sob. “They ruin everything they touch.”
“I can only imagine what your mother’s been through,” Celeste said, thoughtfully.
“She believed she could extort money from my father and get away from him. I’m not making excuses for him, for either one of them, but Jesse probably endured the most emotional abuse from my father because he was the oldest. And I think it warped him.”
“Sounds like a hard situation to grow up in and one my boy escaped,” Celeste said. “I believe Hollister did me and Nicholas a favor by turning his back on us.”
“My mom has been fading away all these years. I saw it happening but couldn’t do anything to stop it and yet I never imagined it would come to this. She’d take more medication and my brother started drinking heavily. I always wondered why she wouldn’t just leave. I guess my father had a hold over her,” Faith said. Now that the dam had broken, she couldn’t stop unloading.
“He manipulates people and gets what he wants from them. Sounds like your mother finally cracked. Your brother, too,” Celeste said. “People can only take so much.”
“It’s sad what my father’s done to our family—” she glanced up at Celeste “—and to others. He destroys everything he touches.”
Tears free-fell and Faith didn’t have the strength to hold them in any longer.
“He didn’t break us,” Celeste said. “You and me are too strong. And he didn’t break Nicholas. Hollister McCabe might take down weaker people, but he can’t touch the three of us. Four counting the little one who’s on the way.”
“No, he can’t.”
“Come on. I want to get you into a warm tub,” Celeste said.
“I can’t—”
“You have to. All this stress isn’t good for that little one.” Celeste pointed to Faith’s belly.
She was right and Faith shouldn’t want to argue. Under the circumstances, it was difficult to worry about herself when her brother might be in danger. She needed to think of the little bean growing in her stomach and dig deep enough to find the strength to take care of herself.
“Besides, you’ll think better once you wash off all that dirt.”
Celeste made a move toward the master bathroom.
“I’m sleeping in the guest room,” Fai
th said.
“That may very well be, but you’re soaking in the big tub,” Celeste said. “There was a woman here earlier, Janis, and I already asked. She said it’d be fine and put out some of those good-smelling candles for you.”
Faith didn’t argue. A warm bath sounded good and she figured that she could go over everything that had happened in her mind while she soaked. Maybe figure out a connection or something that might help find her brother. As it was, she was drawing a blank on what to do next. The sheriff had an address for the Hattie brothers and was checking there. And then there were the parents. Another deputy was being sent to speak to them. An Amber Alert had been issued.
Celeste stayed with Faith long enough to fill the tub with water. “I’ll be in the next room if you need anything. Don’t hesitate to shout.”
“I will.”
“Okay then.” Celeste turned to leave.
“Celeste...”
She turned.
Faith wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you. I don’t know how you’ve managed to comfort me with everything you’re going through, too, but I don’t know what I would do without you tonight.”
“You’re welcome, hon. Us tough girls have to stick together, right.” She winked.
“Right.” Faith could see where Nicholas got his quiet strength from now.
Celeste patted Faith on the back before reminding her that she’d be in the next room if she needed anything. Having an ally was the only comfort Faith had to hold on to. She’d messed everything up between her and Ryder. If she closed her eyes, she could see the look of hurt in his eyes and she understood why he’d feel that way. She’d cut him out of her plans again. Between the two of them, he was going to be far better at communication than her. If they were going to get along for the sake of their child—and really that was the best scenario she could hope for at the moment—then she needed to get better at talking to him about her plans.
She wished he would walk through the door so she could apologize. Okay, not walk through the door right then while she was stark naked in his bathroom, but after she was out and dressed.
Faith slipped into the warm water and put her head on the rolled-up hand towel/makeshift pillow on the side of the oversize tub. There was enough room in here for her and Ryder, but she highly doubted that he’d want to be anywhere near her now or in the future. And that was probably just as well because she’d only been around him for a couple of days—a couple of extreme, intense days—and she could already see how easy it would be to lose her heart to him again. The pain that had followed walking away from Ryder had been the most intense she’d ever experienced. There was no physical ache that compared.
Now he would most likely never want to see her again. They could arrange visitation without ever having to speak. They could communicate through emails or lawyers.
Michigan had never sounded better. Or did it? What had changed in the past forty-eight hours that made it feel more like running away, hiding?
The small bungalow on the lake suddenly felt less like an escape and more like being banished. And that was silly, really. Or was it? Because she figured it had a lot to do with the fact that she might never see Ryder again.
* * *
THE CLOCK READ one twenty in the morning and Faith couldn’t sleep. Not even a warm bath followed by a glass of warm milk had done the trick.
No Nicholas.
No Ryder.
But there was plenty of stress. She pushed off the covers and stepped into the robe Janis had brought for her. The cotton nightgown had fit perfectly, but it was too cold to walk around in only that.
She wandered into the living room and stopped. Celeste was curled up on the couch, flipping through a horse magazine.
“How are you doing it?” Faith asked. “How are you so calm?”
“Looking after you is keeping my mind busy. I learned a long time ago that it’s no good to make yourself sick with worry over things you can’t control,” Celeste said, sitting up.
Faith took a seat across from her. “Can’t sleep.”
Celeste smiled and nodded.
“I didn’t know he was married at first,” she said after a pause. “Looking back, I should’ve. I was barely twenty at the time. When I found out, he said they had a bad marriage and he was leaving her. I believed every word. What did I know?”
Faith’s father needed to pay for all the hurt he’d caused. “I’m sorry for the way he treated you.”
“Thank you. I mean it. For everything you’ve done for Nicholas.” Celeste closed the magazine and set it on the couch beside her. “I hope you don’t mind my saying but you’re nothing like your father.”
“That’s the best compliment anyone could pay me,” Faith said with a melancholy smile.
The door opened and Ryder walked through. He made a straight line to the kitchen without acknowledging Faith. He gave a nod toward Celeste.
“I put on a fresh pot of coffee a little while ago,” Celeste said. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“Help yourself as long as you’re here,” Ryder said, pulling a mug from the cabinet and filling it with the brew.
He stopped at the threshold of the living room and looked straight at Faith. “Can I talk to you?”
Celeste got up and stretched. “I’m tired. I’ll just go to bed.”
There was so much tension radiating off Ryder. He’d showered and washed the blood off him. He was wearing a clean pair of jeans and a flannel shirt rolled up on the left side. There was white gauze covering his left arm and she was grateful that the bleeding had stopped.
Celeste stopped in front of Faith.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Faith said.
“You need me, I’m in the next room,” Celeste said. She was a good person to have Faith’s back. She’d never had that feeling before Ryder.
“I’m okay.”
A few seconds of silence passed after Celeste left the room. Ryder took a sip of his coffee and then set it down on the counter. His muscles were corded and his jaw clenched and released a few times before he spoke. “We need to talk.”
“Before you say anything, Ryder. I owe you an apology,” Faith said. She did. She owed him that and so much more. “I dragged you into this situation by blackmail. You’re hurt and it’s my fault. And worst of all, I didn’t tell you the truth. I know you’re angry and I don’t blame you. All I can say is that I’ll try to get better.” She put her hand on her stomach. “I know what’s at stake and I want to get along for the baby’s sake. I also know that it’s my fault we aren’t. I should’ve told you everything about Michigan.”
He stood there, looking momentarily stunned. And she could tell that he was contemplating what she’d said. She’d meant every word, and if he gave her a second chance she would do her best to include him in every way.
Ryder took in a sharp breath. “Everyone thinks my family is perfect. Well, I have a news flash. We’re far from it. But we love and accept each other for who we are. We’re honest with ourselves and each other. And that’s good enough.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
“I can also see, especially after tonight, that you’ve never had anyone you could trust in your life before,” he said, and her heart galloped with hope. “But we have to change if we want this to work. We have to learn to let each other in and talk about the future. I get that we’ve had a lot thrown at us in the past few days and we haven’t exactly had time to process any of it and come up with a plan. But I need to know that you’re not going to up and disappear on me. That we’re doing this together. I think our child deserves that much from us, don’t you?”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Faith said, wiping away a stray tear. She’d cried enough. She didn’t want to cry again, hormones be damned. “I don’t want us to end up a
nything like my family. Promise me that we won’t let that happen.”
“It’s impossible. You’re nothing like your family and I’m nothing like your father,” Ryder said without hesitation, and that convinced her that he believed it. She would’ve hated if he’d believed that she was just another McCabe.
Their tentative agreement wasn’t what Faith really wanted—she realized that she wanted Ryder—but this would be good for the baby and that was something to hold on to.
“You must think my family is crazy,” she said. “I know I do.”
“Lost maybe,” he said, “not crazy. I don’t think your mother or brother really thought this through. They could’ve killed us at any time tonight but they hesitated. Even your brother’s shot was wide and he knows better.”
“I blame my father for all of this. If he’d treated my mother like a human being none of this would be happening. He’s a monster,” she said simply.
“No. He’s just a man. We all have darkness and light inside us. It’s up to us to decide which one we chase.”
Those words made her father seem beatable.
“When we found Nicholas, I’d planned to disappear,” she said, figuring it was high time she came clean.
“And now?”
“I was afraid of my father. Still am. I’m scared of what he’ll do when he finds out his daughter is carrying an O’Brien baby,” she admitted, and it felt good to say those words out loud. She’d been holding so much inside for so long.
“I can see why you’d feel that way,” Ryder said. “I’d never let any harm come to either one of you.”
“He’s sneaky. He manipulates. No one can guarantee my safety, Ryder. And, so, after I found out that I was pregnant, I got scared and stepped up my plans to disappear. I hated what I did to you, hated myself for lying and making you think that I’d walked away...that I’d gotten over you.”
