by Cheryl Holt
“You didn’t need to change. You’re wonderful just as you are.”
“I’ve felt dead on the inside. I couldn’t have any situation bother or incense me. I’d proven that I can’t be trusted to control my temper.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your temper, Alex.”
He spun around. “You altered the conditions here. You made me realize I could be happy again, that I didn’t have to live as I’d been living.”
“I’m glad to hear it. We could build something splendid together.”
He didn’t leap to agree. He simply scrutinized her with a casual disdain, and his apathetic assessment devastated her.
“When I fought with your brother,” he said, “it was the very worst time.”
“I won’t pretend to understand how much you suffered.”
“The loss of my career in the army was the most humiliating blow. The men in my family have always been soldiers, and I shamed all of them—because of my quarrel with your brother.”
“I’m sorry.” What else could she say?
“I’ve discovered you’re a Henley, and I think—whenever I look at you—I’ll remember what I had to relinquish because of him. It would gall me, and eventually I’d grow to despise you.” He shrugged. “I wish I were a bigger person than that, but I’m not.”
The comment fell into the room like dead weight that was crushing her.
“What exactly are you telling me?” she asked.
“You can’t stay here, and I can’t wed you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I mean it. I admit that I’ve placed you in a terrible predicament, and I take full responsibility for that. I shouldn’t have proposed.”
“I won’t let you renege!”
“How will you prevent me? Who is the man in your life who would assist you in making me honor it? Your brother, Hayden?”
“That was uncalled for, Alex.”
“I shouldn’t have proceeded so impetuously, but impulsiveness is an issue with me. Faith warned me to do some research so I’d have a clearer picture of who you were, but I was determined to bluster ahead. Marriage to you was a crazy notion, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.” He laughed, but in a wrenching, depressing manner.
“I’m still the same woman I’ve always been, Alex. I’m still the same woman I was a few minutes ago.”
“No, you’re not, Abigail, and that’s the problem. A few minutes ago, you were a sweet, lonely, overworked governess who’d plunged down society’s ladder and who I desperately felt like rescuing. Now you’re simply Hayden Henley’s sister, and you can never be more to me than that.”
They were the most malicious words ever spoken to her. She’d loved her brother and missed him every day. She loved Alex too and couldn’t accept that he was so thin-skinned, that his fondness had been so fleeting and insignificant. She was in a profound state of shock.
“What now?” she asked. “Would you like me to leave Wallace Downs?”
He studied her, the interval stretching to infinity, then he said, “Yes, I believe you’ll have to.”
Tears surged into her eyes and flooded down her cheeks. “I don’t want to go.”
“Your opinion doesn’t matter.”
“Will I ever see you again?”
“Probably not.”
She hated to sound weepy or needy, but she couldn’t stop herself. “I thought you cared about me.”
“I did. I do. But I’ve cared about many things that have vanished along the way. I’ve learned to get over it and carry on.”
“Just like that?” she bitterly inquired.
“Yes, just like that.”
“What about the twins?”
“What about them?”
“Please don’t tell me I have to lose them and you.”
“I’ll have to ponder a solution.”
“May I inform them of how I’m related to them?”
“I suppose that would be all right.”
“And could I…I…have them?”
“Have them?”
“Could I have custody of them? Could I take them with me?”
“That’s a rather brash request. How would you support them?”
“They’re your wards, and you’re their guardian. I could move to London with them, and you could maybe…ah…rent us a little house there. I could continue at my job to earn an income. I could manage if you chipped in on the rent.”
She was still crying, was confused and bereft, and she was voicing ill-considered plans as quickly as she could force the sentences out of her mouth. She sensed that she had to hurry, as if he’d listened to all he intended to hear from her, and she wouldn’t have another chance.
He scowled and shook his head. “It’s not a good idea for you to have them. I’m not keen on them being in London or having you toil away to support them.”
“Why isn’t it a good idea? You loathe them. Everyone does. I appear to be the only person in the world who’s concerned about them at all. Let me have them.”
“I have to think about what’s best. I can’t decide.”
“If you won’t give them to me, will I be allowed to visit them in the future? You’re not a cruel man, Alex. Don’t be cruel about this.”
“I can’t decide now,” he stated more vehemently, “but in the interim, here’s how we’ll proceed. I’ll leave for London as soon as the sun is up.”
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I don’t want to see you again. There’s no point to it.”
At his callousness, she sagged with misery and slumped down on the sofa. The remark was so bitter and hateful. It broke her heart.
What an idiot she was! What a fool! She’d convinced herself she should behave honorably and confess her identity. She’d told herself that confession was the admirable thing, the ethical thing. But she should have kept her mouth shut! She should have taken her secret to the grave!
He’d been incredibly fond of her, and she hadn’t imagined such icy detachment lurked beneath the surface. How could he switch off his potent sentiment as if he was blowing out a candle?
“You can spend a few days with the twins,” he advised her, “but I’d like you to be on your way by Sunday. You’ll have most of a week to say your goodbyes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. When I return, you shouldn’t be here.”
“You wrote to Mrs. Ford about me. What if she’s through with me?”
“That’s not my problem.”
She blanched with astonishment. “And what if—in three months—I realize I’m increasing with your child? What then?”
He dithered forever, then shrugged. “Let’s hope it never becomes an issue.”
He started out, and she sat in a stunned heap. She yearned to leap up and run after him, yearned to scold him for being an ass, or perhaps drop to her knees and beg his forgiveness, but she was too confounded to move an inch.
She thought he might glance back, but he was in a rush to be away from her. As he was about to exit the room, she spoke up.
“Alex?”
“What?” He glared at her.
“I love you, and I never meant to hurt you.”
“I’m not hurt. I’m not anything. Be gone by Sunday.”
He walked on to the front door and as he reached it, Faith tromped down the stairs and staggered into the foyer. She was dressed in her nightgown and robe, her hair down, her feet bare.
“Alex,” she groused, “it’s five o’clock in the morning. What are you doing?”
“I’ve been chatting with Abigail.”
The tension was so thick they could have cut it with a knife. Faith peered at Alex, at Abigail, at Alex again. “What about? What’s wrong?”
“Guess what her last name is,” Alex said.
“What? Isn’t it Barrington?”
“No, it’s Henley. She’s Abigail Henley. Hayden Henley was her
brother.”
“Oh, no.” Faith appeared as stunned as Abigail felt, and she said to Abigail, “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I was afraid to,” Abigail mumbled.
“You’re not still planning to marry her, are you?” Faith asked Alex. He flashed such a virulent glower that she hastily stepped away. “No, no, of course not. That was a stupid question.”
“I’ll be in London for a few weeks,” he told his sister.
“Why?”
“Why would you suppose? At the moment, I don’t want to be at Wallace Downs. I want to drink and gamble and revel with my mistress.” He smirked at Abigail. “I suddenly find myself missing her.”
“What a disaster,” Faith muttered.
“Miss Henley is to be gone by Sunday. Don’t let her stay beyond that.”
“It’s my house, Alex. It’s not up to you who I can—”
“Sunday, Faith. I won’t argue about it.”
Faith’s shoulders drooped. “All right.”
“Miss Henley has informed me you were having a full-fledged sexual affair with Price. Is it true?”
Faith shot such a look of hatred at Abigail that Abigail wished a hole would open in the floor and swallow her.
“No, it’s not true,” Faith staunchly replied.
Alex studied her eyes. “Liar. How far along was it? Are you completely ruined?”
“It’s none of your business,” Faith retorted, “and I can’t believe you had the audacity to ask me about it.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He stormed out and slammed the door.
She and Faith gaped at each other, frozen in their spots, the tumultuous charge in the air beginning to wane.
Then Faith shook her head with dismay. “Abigail, Abigail, Abigail, what were you thinking by coming here?”
“I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t know!”
“Well, you certainly know now.”
Faith turned and marched back up the stairs.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Alex, darling, this is a surprise.”
“Hello, Camilla.”
She had just finished an afternoon of shopping and had been changing her clothes when her maid hurried in to whisper that Alex had arrived. At the news, she could have fainted. She’d been that astonished.
They kept a small house in town, near the gambling halls and other entertainments they liked to frequent in the city. Most of their acquaintances would have chosen a more fashionable area, and Alex could certainly afford a more posh address, but they were too notorious to live among decent people.
Instead, they lived around actors and other immoral types. Their neighbors either didn’t know who they were or didn’t care.
“I’d ask why you’re here,” she said, “but I don’t imagine you’d tell me.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
They were in his bedchamber, and he was over by the window and gazing down at the street. He’d barely noticed her and was in another exasperating mood, and she was growing so weary of them.
She wasn’t sure how he expected her to act. The last time she’d been with him, they’d quarreled quite vehemently, and he wouldn’t want to brawl. Should she walk over and hug him? Should she chat about her week away? Should she simply go back to her own room and let him sulk by himself?
That would be her preference.
“How are things at Wallace Downs?” she inquired.
“Fine.” He spun away from the window. “I assume the unvoiced part of your question is about the governess.”
The governess? He hadn’t bothered to mention the annoying tart by name. My, my, but hadn’t Miss Barrington come down in the world!
“Since you brought her up,” she said, “I’ll admit I’m curious. I’ve been languishing here so you could dally and get her out of your system. Might I hope it wasn’t as pleasant as you anticipated?”
He smirked in a manner that might have meant anything. “You visited Mrs. Ford without my permission.”
She scowled. “Who is Mrs. Ford?”
“She is the owner of that employment agency. You tattled to her about Miss Barrington. It sounds as if you told her I was having an affair.”
She probably should have lied and claimed she hadn’t, but she wasn’t a coward and she wasn’t about to behave as if she had no stake in the matter. Unless and until Alex decided otherwise, he belonged to her and she wasn’t about to give him up without a fight.
“You are having an affair with her, Alex. Don’t pretend. Or does your presence here indicate you’re not as infatuated as you presumed yourself to be?”
He didn’t reply but said, “I don’t like you to interfere in my personal business. You know that.”
“Yes, well, you may be besotted with the bloody girl, but Mrs. Ford deserved to learn she’s a strumpet. With how quickly she glommed onto you, I pity the next woman who hires her. I wasn’t about the let Mrs. Ford dump her off on another unsuspecting family.”
“We’re not a family, and we’re hardly unsuspecting.”
“You can view the situation however you like, but she’s a trollop. I wonder how many other employers she’s seduced over the years.”
“There haven’t been any. She’s not a doxy.”
“She’s competent at a task, but I won’t describe what I perceive it to be. You wouldn’t listen anyway.”
“Don’t meddle. I put up with it this time, but I won’t tolerate it in the future. Don’t make me warn you ever again.”
“I’m glad I went to Mrs. Ford, and I won’t say I’m sorry.”
“Have I demanded an apology?”
“No.” She gnawed on her cheek, still trying to figure out how to handle him, but he was too irked, and she couldn’t guess the best route. “If you’re over your fascination with Miss Barrington, may we return home? I love reveling in town, but I’d just as soon be at Wallace Downs.”
“We can go on Monday.”
“Why can’t we go now?”
“Miss Barrington is still there, but she’ll be departing on Sunday. I don’t want to see her before she leaves, and I especially don’t want you crossing paths with her.”
“She’s leaving?”
“Yes.”
“You fired her?”
“I suppose fire is a strong word. I asked her to depart.”
He gazed at her, his expression stoic and indifferent, and a thousand wild scenarios were flitting through her head. Clearly, he was too irritated to discuss what had occurred, but she was dying to be apprised. Had Miss Barrington rebuffed his advance? Had he seized what he craved but found her tediously boring?
He hated innocent females so perhaps he’d been vividly reminded of how exhausting a virgin could be.
“My curiosity is totally inflamed,” she said. “I can’t deny it, and it’s petty of you not to assuage it.”
“I’ll provide one tidbit which should humor you. If I don’t, you’ll slink around the halls, eavesdropping on the servant gossip.”
“Why wouldn’t I? It’s not as if I can glean any pertinent information from you.”
“Her surname isn’t Barrington.”
Camilla frowned. “What is it?”
“She’s a Henley.”
“A…Henley?”
“Yes. Hayden Henley was her brother. The twins are her nieces.”
“Oh, my sweet Lord!”
He snorted with grim amusement. “It’s shocking, isn’t it? And disturbing? I’m a tad flummoxed by the entire debacle.”
“Henley’s sister has been prancing about your home? What gall.”
“She was an adolescent when all of it transpired. She hadn’t heard about the duel or any of it. Her parents kept the scandal hushed, then they whisked him out of the country. Mrs. Ford didn’t share any details about me, and I can’t decide if she was unaware of my connection to Hayden Henley or if she’s not aware of Miss Henley’s true identity.”
“Neither can I. At times, it seems as if the whole kingdom knows about it.”
“It often feels that way.”
“I didn’t see how Miss Henley could remain.”
“No, absolutely not. What about her and the twins? That’s a tricky state of affairs.”
“She’d actually like to have custody of them.”
“Really? Will you give them to her?”
He shrugged. “I’m thinking about it. She’d do a better job with them than we ever did.”
Camilla might have argued the point, but she’d been awful to them so it was ridiculous to quibble. “How would she support them?”
“I could rent her a house in town. Maybe she could live in this one. After all, we hardly ever use it. I’d pay her a stipend for watching them. They are my wards after all. It wouldn’t be an outrageous arrangement, and it would get them out of my hair.”
“Would you like that?”
He shrugged again. “I’m considering every angle of this. I haven’t reached a conclusion.”
“You never should have assumed the burden of those two girls.”
“Let it go, Camilla. I’m too aggravated to listen to your opinion about it.”
The news he’d imparted was thrilling, but she tamped down her reaction, not eager for him to discern how avidly she was already plotting.
He claimed he was over his infatuation, but she wasn’t taking any chances. Miss Barrington—no, Miss Henley—had to slither away at once. She’d been ordered to vacate the premises on Sunday, but what if she didn’t? She was snooty enough to expect she could dawdle and no one would mind. Well, Camilla minded very much.
Alex despised the Henleys, and Camilla wouldn’t permit Hayden Henley’s sister to toddle about the property while every second of her existence was an insult to Alex.
No, she had to leave. Immediately. If Camilla played her cards right, she could be shed of Mary and Millie too. Miss Henley was their aunt, and she was anxious to have custody. Why dither and debate?
From the day Alex had sued to wrest them from Eugenia, Camilla had been incensed. He shouldn’t have had to expend a penny of money or an ounce of effort in raising the twins. Eugenia had caused the fiasco. If she was lazy or cruel, why was that Alex’s problem?
