by Maisey Yates
If that realization and her baby were the only gifts she could ever get from Creed, then she supposed they would have to be enough.
Twelve
“All right,” his brother’s voice came behind him. Creed braced himself for what would come next. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
He turned toward Jackson and scowled. “What’s it to you?”
“Plenty. Because it’s beginning to impact on my life, and I don’t like that. You’ve been scowling around here for more than a week. It’s a pain in my ass. Does it have something to do with your wife?”
He gritted his teeth. “She left me.”
“What the hell did you do?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Try me.”
“She said she loved me.”
Jackson made a choking sound. “What a travesty. Your wife is in love with you. However will you survive?”
“That’s not what this was supposed to be about.”
“Oh, your marriage isn’t supposed to be about love? What the hell is it supposed to be about, then?”
“I told you. It’s complicated.”
“I’m all ears.”
“And why exactly do you think you’re an authority on any of this? It’s not like you’ve ever been in a real relationship.”
“Maybe I’m not an authority on relationships, but I’m an authority on you. And you’re miserable. Which means you need to sort it out.”
“There’s nothing to sort out. Nothing changed on my end. I offered her everything that was always on the table. I bought her the house she wanted, I told her she could do whatever she wanted when it came to work, and we set fire to the sheets. I don’t know why the hell she thinks she needs more.”
“It’s this weird thing where people tend to want to be loved. Weird, I know. Especially since it’s never been a major priority for either of us. But I think maybe it’s not astonishingly strange.”
“I don’t understand why she needs it.”
“I don’t understand why it’s a problem for you. Hell, you seem like you’re in love with her.”
“It’s impossible. I can’t do that. I already... Look, I wasted all my emotion. I can’t love her.”
“You can’t? Or you won’t?”
“She asked me the same question. But it amounts to the same thing.”
“What’s the real problem here? Because I don’t get your resistance to this.”
“The problem is that I didn’t... I didn’t get to love my son the way that I was supposed to. So now I’m just supposed to move on? Just make a new family, make a new life? I thought I could. For a little while, I thought I could. But I can’t. It’s wrong. I can’t just decide to get a do-over. I wanted to, but it’s killing me. The guilt of it.”
His brother just stared at him. “What do you mean you didn’t love your son? It wasn’t your choice not to be with him. Not to be around him. Louisa chose that for you.”
“I could’ve fought harder. I’ve seen him around.”
“Yeah. And you loved him enough that you didn’t go crashing into his life and make it about you. You loved him enough that you let him have the family that he knows. Loving somebody doesn’t just mean being in their lives every day. And I never would’ve thought of that if it weren’t for you. But I’ve never doubted that you love that kid. Because I saw what it did to you all those years ago. It tore you up. But you had to make a choice not to make his life a war zone, and you made that choice. And every time you’ve ever seen him at an event, including the one a few months ago, you’ve made the choice to put his happiness above your own. That is love, Creed.”
“It hurts,” Creed growled.
“No one ever said love didn’t hurt. Hurt makes sense. But not guilt. You’ve got nothing to feel guilty for.”
The problem was, his brother’s words rang true.
And if there was no guilt... Then there was nothing standing in his way. It was all a matter of being brave enough to step forward. Brave enough to allow Wren to have all of him.
Even though his emotions had been savaged, his heart torn to pieces.
He didn’t know if he was brave enough.
But what’s the alternative?
Another life spent with so much distance between himself and the people who held his heart.
No, he’d never gotten a chance to be a father before. Not in the way he wanted to be.
But he had the chance now. And not just to be a father, but to be a husband.
It was all well and good to fantasize about how well he’d do those things, but entirely different to take the steps toward being those things.
“It’s terrifying,” he said. “I’ve been so certain all these years that I would’ve been great at this, but... What if I’m not?”
“Well, then you’re not. That’s just part of life. Sometimes you’re bad at something, and then you learn to be better at it. Was Dad perfect?”
“Hell no,” Creed said. “He’s still not.”
“Do you love him?”
“Of course I do.”
“Well, there’s your answer. Did you need perfect, or did you need a father?”
“I’m going to be there for my kid, it’s just...”
“Remember what Dad said? That he loved a woman who chose easy over him? That leaves scars. Are you going to leave Wren with those kinds of scars? Are you gonna leave yourself with them?”
“There’s no easy answer, is there? There’s no pain-proof way to do this.”
“No. Life is tough. Nobody gets out alive.”
Creed didn’t like that reasoning. At all. He also couldn’t argue with it.
Because that was just it. There were no guarantees.
He just had to be brave.
And with sudden, stark clarity, he saw Wren as she had been. Standing there open and vulnerable and naked. Beautiful, demanding that he love her. And he realized that he’d failed her. He’d been a coward. An absolute, complete coward.
She had been so brave, after the betrayals she had experienced in her life. And he was... He was hiding behind his own hurt. Using his pain to shield him from more pain.
But it wasn’t going to work. And in the end, it wasn’t worth it. How could he choose safety at the cost of what could be the greatest joy he would ever experience?
He was hit with a blinding flash of truth.
If you wanted to have everything life could offer, you also had to risk your heart.
Just like Wren had said.
She wanted only everything.
And nothing else would do.
He understood that now.
Everything was the only answer. Everything was the least he could offer.
“I have to go talk to her,” he said, his voice rough.
“Yeah,” Jackson replied. “You do.”
“I’ll return the favor when you’re in the same position.”
“I won’t be,” Jackson said, chuckling, the sound sharpened by an edge that surprised Creed. “I’m happy for you. It’s plain to anyone looking at you that you love her. And that you ought to be with her.”
“I hope so.”
She’d said she would wait. She’d said he could change his heart.
But he wondered. And he almost wouldn’t blame her if she wasn’t waiting. Because she had stripped herself bare, and he had offered her nothing.
He had rejected her.
“I just have to hope that she’ll still have me.”
* * *
Wren was wretched, and no amount of trying to ensure herself that standing in her truth, standing strong in what she needed, was making her feel any better.
Emerson was deeply sympathetic, having been through something similar with Holden. Cricket seemed like she didn’t know what to do with he
r.
And a surprising source of support and sympathy came from her mother.
“I know it’s hard to believe,” she said, “but I know what it’s like to have a broken heart.”
“You’re going through a divorce,” Wren said. “I don’t think it’s hard to believe.”
“Not your father. My heart broke slowly over the choices I made, but he didn’t break it. I was in love once. And I’m the one who walked away from it. It makes such a deep scar. I hope Creed realizes it before it’s too late. Because you can’t protect yourself by turning away from love. You just sign yourself up for a life of...less.”
“That’s why I left... I wanted him to love me. To find it in himself to admit that he does. Because if he can’t find it in himself to admit it, then the alternative would be something terribly sad.”
“It is,” her mother said. “Believe me. And it’s taken me years to get to a place I could have been in a long time ago if I had just done the work on myself back then. But instead I hid. I hid in a marriage that didn’t have love. I hid behind money. I hid here in this house, because it was what I chose. Status. Wealth.”
“Mom,” Wren said slowly. “Were you in love with Law Cooper?”
But she didn’t get a chance to hear the answer because Cricket came running into the room. “I told him to go away,” she said fiercely.
“What?”
“Your husband,” her sister said, her lip curled. “I told him to go away. But he’s still here.”
“Oh,” Wren said, springing out of her chair and bounding toward the door.
“Forget about him,” Cricket said. “He’s not worth it.”
“He is,” Wren said. “And when you’re in love you’ll understand.”
And there he was, standing in the entry of their grand home, looking out of place in his blue jeans, T-shirt and cowboy hat, his face bearing the marks of exhaustion, of sadness.
“You look like I feel,” Wren said, staring at him.
“I feel like hell,” he said. “It’s been...the worst week of my life.”
“Mine, too.”
“Wren,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I thought... I was so comfortable punishing myself for what happened with... Lucas. My son’s name is Lucas. And I don’t know him. And I’ve used that pain to drive me. I told myself all the things I would have done differently for him. And I made myself feel confident in this hypothetical version of me. And at the same time, I used the guilt to keep me safe. To convince myself that I never had to love again, because I had already loved and lost it. But I was just using that guilt to protect myself. Because it was easier than maybe being hurt again.
“I never loved Louisa,” he said. “But what she told me was that I might not be good enough, and I let that sit inside me. But I want to be good enough. For you. I want to be everything for you.”
“Creed,” she said. “What you did for me... You brought me on a journey to myself. And it was the thing I needed most, when I needed it most. I spent my life protecting myself, so I understand how compelling that is. I know what it is to live your life feeling like you might not be enough. But we were just trying to be enough for the wrong people. When we’re already more than perfect for each other.”
“Wren,” he said, his voice rough. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she said, flinging herself into his arms and kissing him with everything in her heart. “I love you so much.”
“This isn’t just a second chance,” he said, putting his hand on her stomach. “It’s our chance. And I’m so damn grateful.”
“Me, too.”
Wren Maxfield loved Creed Cooper more than anything. He was a cocky, arrogant pain in the butt, and he was hers. And suddenly, even with all the twists and turns in the road to get here, Wren knew she was living her life, the best life.
She knew who she was.
She was Creed’s and he was hers.
And nothing could ever be better than that.
Epilogue
Creed was the proudest father around. Matched only by how proud of a husband he was.
He loved watching his son grow, and he loved watching Wren learn, as she went through the process of getting her degree so she could become an architectural engineer.
The people he was blessed to love astounded him in every way.
He astounded himself, because he never really imagined he would enjoy a one-year-old’s birthday party. But he did. It had been the best day, down to watching his son’s pudgy little fingers smash the cake they’d had made especially for that purpose.
His fascination a few months earlier with their Christmas tree—fake because Wren wanted a very particular spectacle, and Mac would eat fallen pine needles—had been just as cute. Though they’d had to anchor it to a wall so he didn’t pull it down on himself.
But it was the knock on the door after the birthday party that led to the most unexpected thing of all.
Wren was the one who answered it. And she came running to him, where he was sitting on the floor with Mac, only a few moments later.
“Creed. You need to come here.” Wren swooped down and picked up Mac, and then stepped back as Creed made his way to the door.
Standing there, outside, was his oldest son.
“You don’t know me,” the kid said. “But... My mom told me the whole story. Everything, a few months ago. And she said what I did with it was up to me, but... I thought it was time I came to meet you.”
Creed’s heart slowed as Lucas looked past him. The color drained from the kid’s face. “Oh, I hope I didn’t cause any problems.”
“No,” Creed said. “You didn’t. I just... I never wanted to go crashing into your life and cause any problems for you. But there’s always been a place for you in my life. And there always will be.”
“I guess my dad always knew,” Lucas said. “You know. My...”
“He’s your dad,” Creed said. “He’s the one who raised you. But I’d like the chance to be something to you.”
Because that’s what love did. It grew, it expanded, it changed. And it left no room for resentment.
And Creed was damned thankful that he had a woman who understood that. Because Wren accepted Lucas into their lives with as much ease as he could have asked from her.
And sometime down the road he realized it wasn’t love that caused hurt. It was fear.
And his family made a rule not to operate from fear.
But just to grow from love.
And that was what they did. From then, until forever.
They just loved.
And they were happy.
* * *
In Gold Valley, Oregon, lasting love is only a
happily-ever-after away. Don’t miss any of
Maisey Yates’s Gold Valley tales, available now!
Gold Valley Vineyards
Rancher’s Wild Secret
Gold Valley
A Tall, Dark Cowboy Christmas
Unbroken Cowboy
Cowboy to the Core
Untamed Cowboy
Smooth-Talking Cowboy
Cowboy Christmas Redemption
No one gets under Jackson Cooper’s skin like Cricket Maxfield. When he goes all in at a charity poker match, Jackson loses their bet and becomes her reluctant ranch hand. In close quarters, tempers flare—and the fire between them ignites into a passion that won’t be ignored...
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The Rancher’s Wager
by New York Times bestselling author Maisey Yates!
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The Rancher’s Wager
by Maisey Yates
One
Cricket Maxfield had won any number of specious prizes in the game of life. From being born youngest in her family, barely rating a passing glance from either of her parents and being left to essentially do as she pleased, to being the only Maxfield sister born with both pigeon feet and buck teeth.
The latter was largely solved by braces, the former was mostly dealt with by casts on her feet when she was a baby.
She hardly walked turned in at all anymore.
All the way to a decrepit ranch that had been buried in her father’s portfolio, discovered after his disgrace, and unwanted by anyone else in her family.
She had a feeling, though, that she was about to win the strangest prize of all—six feet and four inches of big, rock solid cowboy.
She couldn’t have planned it better if she’d tried.
Oh, he didn’t think he was going to lose. She knew he didn’t. Because he had been betting like a fool all the way through this hand, and he had no idea that she had just gotten the absolute best hand possible.
No. He was playing like a man with a full house or a straight flush.
But she was a woman with a royal flush.
This final hand was always the most interesting part of this charity fundraiser, and it was the first year that Cricket had ever been in the hot seat for Battle of the Gold Valley Stars charity poker tournament.
This was the grudge game. This was the game for spectators.
Huge amounts of money had already been counted and distributed in previous rounds, all of it donated by businesses as each player had fought tooth and nail against each other, pouring cash into a pot for the sole purpose of giving back to the community. Now came the part where things got interesting.
Rivals tried to get back bits of their own, hotly contested items that had been tussled over at rummage sales, family heirlooms that had gone back and forth in this game for decades, were all put in the pot.
Cricket was currently wearing an oversized black leather jacket with fringes—won in the previous round from Elliott Johns, the guy who ran a water filtration company in the area. She also had an oversized black cowboy hat that she had already won from her current target. It was resting low on her head, and smelled vaguely of sweat, which was unnerving, since smelling Jackson’s sweat made her feel strange. Just the idea of it.
