I finally reach him. His face is so pale that it’s the color of those white Mexican plates from dinner. All blood has drained from his face, and his lips are blue.
“Wyatt? Wyatt?” I scream. I want to shake him and bring him back to life. But I’m afraid he has broken something in his body, and that will make it worse.
“Wyatt? Wyatt? Please wake up. Please, please, please,” I shout cradling my arms around him.
Mr. Whitewater runs over.
“How is he? Oh my God. He’s unconscious.”
I nod. I don’t know what else to do.
“I just called 911, but they won’t be here for some time.”
“What, why?” I demand to know.
“Twenty minutes at the earliest,” he says and puts the receiver back to his ear. “They say that we shouldn’t move him until they get here. He might’ve broken his back.”
The world fades to black with those words. ‘He might’ve broken his back’ is all I hear in my head over and over again. The paramedics arrive sometime later. They have to scream at me to get out of the way. I don’t move. I don’t even know if I can move. Someone pushes me out of the way, and they take Wyatt away. They strap him onto a gurney and roll him to the ambulance.
I can’t go along. No one can. They tell me and Mr. Whitewater that we can follow along behind the ambulance if we want.
I’m in a daze. I don’t know what to do. I follow Mr. Whitewater to his car.
“Are you sure you want to come? I thought you wanted to leave this morning? You still can, if you want to.”
I stare at him. All thoughts of leaving have all but dissipated. I don’t even know what he’s talking about. All I know is that I can’t leave now. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, and I can’t leave until I find out. What if he needs my help?
Twelve hours later.
I’ve spent the last twelve hours in the hospital looking at magazines and mindlessly reading books that I did not understand on my phone. I read the words, but they don’t make any sense. I don’t know who wrote them or for what reason. The only thing that makes sense to me is the pictures. I leaf through the celebrity magazines and pay close attention to which movie stars have lost and gained weight. Which ones were pregnant. Which ones got engaged and which ones got divorced. It’s all things that I used to find interesting, but now none of it makes any sense.
This hospital reminds me of the one back home, where I waited for hours for my mom to get out of her various surgeries. Time stands still here. It’s as if the waiting room is some secret time travel chamber in which I can go into and not age for hours and days and months. I age, of course. I noticed it whenever I went into to the bathroom and looked at the horror that was my face, but I never felt time passing. Not even one second.
Breathe, I say to myself. Breathe.
I take a deep breath. And then another. And another. I feel a little better, but as soon as I look around, all of my thoughts and concerns and regrets creep back in.
A doctor who is in charge of Wyatt and his condition comes out from behind the double doors with a smile on his face.
“Wyatt’s awake now,” he tells Mr. Whitewater. “He’s one lucky young man. Even though both of his legs are broken.”
Broken legs. I sigh. He is lucky.
“Wait here,” Mr. Whitewater tells me. I have no right to go see Wyatt. I’m not really anybody to him. Barely an employee. Still, I hope that I can go in to see him.
“And he doesn’t have any brain damage?” Mr. Whitewater asks the doctor.
“No, not that I can tell. But it’s too soon to know for sure.”
I wait for what seems like a century for Mr. Whitewater to come back. Now time is positively moving backward. I wonder if it’s 1993. Finally, he comes out.
“He’d like to see you,” Mr. Whitewater says.
“How is he?”
“Fine. Definitely all there.”
I smile. A wave of relief sweeps over me.
Chapter 10 - Wyatt
Brielle walks into my hospital room carefully and cautiously. It’s as if she’s walking on eggshells.
“It’s okay,” I say. “Don’t be afraid.” I sit up in my bed, trying not to look so sickly and powerless, even though I have a pounding headache.
“How are you?” she asks sheepishly.
Her hair falls into her face slightly as she walks, and she pushes it aside without much regard. Her lips look soft and exquisite even under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital room. Her skin is tan, and her cheeks are full of color. Brielle is wearing a long sleeve hoodie, and she wraps her arms around her shoulders as if she is trying to hold on to the entire world.
“I’m good. Fine,” I say confidently. It’s almost true. I want it to be true. I’ll act like it is until it becomes true.
“Broke both legs,” I say nudging at the cast. “Imagine the luck.”
“It could’ve been much worse, Wyatt,” she comes closer. I love the sound of my name in her mouth.
“Nah,” I wave my hand. But she slaps it away.
“No, I’m serious. It could’ve been much, much worse. I saw you out there. You passed out. You were unconscious. I thought you would go into a coma and never wake up.”
“Hah, like you’d care. You’d just be happy that you got off the hook,” I joke.
She stares at me and raises her hand to slap me again. This time across the face. But something stops her.
“Fuck you, Wyatt. Fuck you for even thinking something that terrible.”
That was a pretty shitty thing to say. I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I was just trying to make you laugh.”
“How would that make me laugh, exactly?”
“I don’t know. I’d shrug, but my shoulders hurt too much.”
This one does make her laugh. She opens her lips just a bit and lets out a small, willowy laugh. The world is alright again.
“How did this happen?” Brielle asks after a few silent moments.
“That’s what you get for riding a four-year-old stallion bareback,” I laugh.
Her face turns white. “What do you mean? Are you joking again?”
I shake my head no. Then suddenly, something comes over me, and I tell her something I never would otherwise.
“I was really upset that you were leaving. That I did that to you. Disrespected you like that. But I want you to know that it was really an accident. I must’ve not heard you or something. I would never keep going beyond what you said was okay. I’m not that guy.”
I stop and look at her. She waits for me to continue.
“So I was really angry with myself over the whole thing. Over what I did. Over the fact that you were now scared of me. And leaving. That’s the last thing I wanted. So this morning, I went for a walk and ended up in the stables. I saw Sebastian. He’s a powerful thoroughbred. But he’s not broken yet. He’s wild and crazy, and I felt wild and crazy at that moment. It was like we were breathing the same air and feeling the same energy. I opened the gate, and he let me get on top of him. I really thought we were connecting, and we wanted the same thing. But I was just feeling crazy. He ignited something within me, some long forgotten feeling of hope and love and wildness. And so I urged him outside of the stable. And that’s when it got bad. He started to buck, and he wouldn’t slow down long enough for me to get off. And then I just flew off.”
“You remember it all?”
“I remember every single moment.”
“And what about afterward?”
“No,” I shake my head. “Once I hit the ground, I don’t remember anything.”
She looks at me. Tears well up inside of her eyes. One large tear breaks free and rolls down her cheek. I reach out and wipe it off her face.
“I was so scared, Wyatt. You were just laying there. Motionless. Unconscious. I wanted to shake you so much, but I was afraid something was broken. And then…”
Her voice drops off, and she looks out of the window. A
tiny sparrow dances on a branch. We both watch the sparrow for a moment before she turns back to me.
“And then?” I ask.
“And then I thought that maybe it was even worse than that. You didn’t wake up Wyatt. Not for a long time.”
I nod.
“You scare me, Brielle,” I finally say.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, exactly. But I feel something for you, and it scares me.”
“Don’t be silly,” she waves her hand and smiles. “How can I scare you?”
I try to shrug again. Again I feel pain.
“Come here,” I say and wave my index finger to get her to come closer to me.
“What?” she leans down.
“You scare me,” I whisper and press my lips up to hers. I lift my body a bit toward hers and my neck throbs in pain.
I sigh in pain when I pull away.
“Are you okay?” she says with a smile licking her lips.
“No,” I shake my head. “But it was worth it.”
That evening, the nurse gives me some morphine, and I fall asleep quickly. When I wake up in the morning, my back is throbbing, and I find Brielle half asleep in the chair.
“Hey, you’re awake,” she smiles at me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. “I can’t believe you slept the whole night here.”
“Oh, I just dozed off. It’s no big deal.”
“No, it is,” I say. “Thank you.”
“I’m going to get us some coffee,” she jumps up to her feet.
I’m jealous of the spring in her step, and I wish more than anything that I could jump as well. I’ve only been in bed for one day, and the thought of not being active for another two months scares me to death.
“Brielle…”
She turns at the door. Her hair leaps one last time before landing softly around her shoulders.
“Yes?”
“I was just wondering…” I don’t know how to phrase the question exactly. She waits for me as I try.
“I was just wondering if you were planning on going back home today?”
“No,” she shakes her head. A wave of relief sweeps over me, but I’m not sure if I have been clear enough.
“And tomorrow?” I ask.
Suddenly, it hits her what I’m asking. She walks back to my bed.
“I’m not going home for awhile, Wyatt. But under one condition.”
“What's that?”
“If you promise me that we will be friends. Just friends.”
I thought about that for a moment. Just friends was better than nothing. “Okay,” I nodded.
Chapter 11 - Wyatt
How do you know if you truly love someone?
There was a time a time in my life when I never believed in love. I grew up in a world of privilege. My two brothers, Gatsby and Atticus, and my sister, Ophelia, were raised by our nannies and had everything we ever wanted. Our parents had houses in Los Angeles, New York, Montana, an apartment in Paris, and another one is being built in Dubai.
When we were little, the family had more cars than I could even count – our father, Dr. Wild – is an avid collector. We each got a new car of our choosing as soon as we turned 16, and each one of us promptly crashed it soon after. I think it was O – we’ve always called Ophelia O – who kept her first car, a brand new Mercedes, the most expensive class of that year, the longest. Six months, I believe.
My mother never cooked, but every night that we had dinner at home, we always had a delicious gourmet meal prepared by our personal chef. Our birthdays were lavish and expensive. Each one probably cost as much as a regular couple’s wedding. They were extravagant, with different themes and costumes and close to 400 guests each time. That doesn’t sound like a fun birthday party for a five-year-old, but the entire school was invited so most of them were.
Our exclusive private school didn’t have a school bus to get us to school, and the responsibility fell to our nannies to deliver us there and pick us up after each of our after school activities. O did theater. Gatsby and I played lacrosse. Atticus was in the band.
Our parents were always there to cheer for us – always physically present – and yet emotionally and metaphysically away. It’s hard to explain now, difficult to put into words, but it was as if they were never really there.
Ever since I can remember, our parents had their own lives. My father, the renowned doctor and later the founder of a prosperous pharmaceutical company, worked late into the night and all weekends. He was always traveling and running meetings.
My mother had her philanthropic activities. She was the head of a number of boards that raised money for a variety of noble causes. She didn’t get paid, but she worked nearly as hard as he did and organized all of our days and the house staff on top of all that.
It’s maybe cruel to say this, but my parents gave me the impression that love only meant one thing. My parents said that they loved us, but their love was complicated. It came with expectations and, inevitably, disappointments. It was never the kind of love often featured in movies. They were never mushy and hopeful and exuberant. They were both too busy with either work or their social obligations to really show love. Or at least, the way I expected it to be.
And so, coming back to my original thought. How do you know if you truly love someone? How am I expected to know if I love someone if their love was the kind of love I had only ever known?
Before I broke both of my legs riding a wild stallion, I never had time to think about these things. But now that I’m bed bound for more than six weeks, it seems all I do is think. I had to remain active somehow, and my mind was the only place I had left.
Brielle enters the room carrying two cups of tea on a tray. She has been here for six weeks. Six of the happiest weeks of my life. I have never been immobile for this long before, and yet her presence has made it, somehow, bearable. If it weren’t for her, I’d be tearing my hair out. I’d be drunk all day just to pass the time. And yet, with her here, we find things to do that do not involve going outside much or using our legs.
I think I’m falling in love with Brielle. Her long hair, her tender eyes, her soft skin. I don’t know anything about love, I’m the first to admit it. Yet, I also know that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Sometimes, when I see her, my heart jumps into my throat, and I forget to breathe.
Other times, when she’s away from me for a couple of hours, I feel anxious and uncertain. I don’t know what to do with myself and spend the hours just looking out of the window or staring aimlessly at the television screen. I can’t read a word that makes sense. All I can do is wait for her to return.
Brielle has been bringing me breakfast, lunch, and dinner and has made Mr. Whitewater all but useless. The responsibility of those things would’ve fallen to him, but she asked him if she could do it. I think she likes being useful. In fact, I’ve never met someone who enjoys being useful so much. It’s almost as if she really loves taking care of me.
I feel myself falling in love with Brielle, even though I’m not sure if I know what that means. But does anyone? Isn’t love just some sort of feeling that bubbles up from within us, from some place deep within our core that we didn’t even know existed?
There is one problem, however. And it’s a big one. We – Brielle and I – have decided to keep things professional. I believe that the only reason she’s even here is that our relationship is now strictly professional. Or so she has called it. But in reality, it’s not professional at all. Only a fool would think that our interaction is professional. We are more like friends. Close, close friends. And it’s clear, at least I think it is, that I want more.
“What a beautiful morning, right?” she says plopping down on the couch next to me. “What do you want to do today?”
I want to kiss you, undress and lay in bed looking at and exploring your naked body until dinner. I want to say this to her, but instead I lie.
“Not sure, whatever,” I shrug a
nd remember her hurtful words.
“No more kissing, no more romance, or whatever it was that was happening between us,” she said in my hospital room. I felt woozy from all the pain killers, but I remember each one of her words as if she said it a minute ago. “I just want to work here for the year, like I’d agreed, and be friends.”
“Okay,” I had agreed.
“You promise?” she asked. “This is one of my conditions of staying. The only one.”
I remember looking into her deep brown eyes and nodding. Then agreeing verbally to the only thing that would keep her in my life.
“You feeling alright?” she asks. Neither of us has said a word in a few moments. She touches my hand with hers sending shivers up and down my legs, as always. My cock grows hard, and I press down on it, trying to calm it. Ever since we’d decided to be friends, she started touching me more and more. More than she ever had before. But the touching is not sexual, at least not on her part. Just a pat of the hand, a small hug, a nudge, but each touch still makes me get hard.
I want her. I want her up against the wall. On the bed. Outside in the desert. In the shower.
“Hey, Wyatt?” she asks leaning close to me with a look of concern on her face. “How are you, today? Is everything okay?”
“I’m good,” I fake a smile. “Why?”
“Something seems off,” she shrugs. “Oh, I almost forgot, I got your pills, here.”
I stare at her. Brielle mentions the pills in the same nonchalant way she has for the last six weeks, but this is the first day that I turn them down.
“Nah, I’m feeling okay. I don’t think I need them today.”
Her face lights up. “That’s great!” she wraps her arms around me. “I’m so happy. You’re making so much progress. Maybe you’ll be able to take the casts off soon, too.”
Now, there’s a thought. To stand up and hold my body weight with my own two feet. I’ve taken that for granted for so many years. Then when I suddenly couldn’t stand up on my feet and had to use crutches…the helplessness that came with that was unimaginable.
The Baby Contract: A Single Dad Romance Page 27
