“What do you mean?” I peered into Cedric’s ocean blue eyes, momentarily stunned at the depth I had never seen before.
“I am not as steadfast and immovable. I am less valiant, and sometimes unfaithful.”
I gaped. Disbelief infused my words. “To Fiona?”
“To the cause.” He gave an impish grin. “I’m lazy, Ava. No, I’ve never cheated on my mate, but my relationship with Fiona hasn’t always been so content. My woman is passionate about her calling, as evidenced by her covens. I, on the other hand, get tired. There’s a whole world to see with amazing and interesting people outside of this world of demons and immortals. It’s a challenge for me to be tied down to the same thing day in and day out, but every time I get close to losing what I have, I realize what a fool I am.”
“Oh.” It was all I could say. I had never seen this side of Cedric before, but I hadn’t seen many sides of him at all.
“Are you sure you still want to get to know me?”
I shrugged. “God creates all kinds, doesn’t He?”
One side of his lips twisted into a lopsided grin. “He sure does.”
Laith entered through the double doors. He secured them closed by bolting the deadlock.
Fiona placed a hand on his arm. “Why lock them out if it’s a test to see if they can enter?”
“To see how they respond.”
I held back my ire, as heat rose to my face. Through the glass pane, he addressed Violet. “Go ahead, please.”
With head high, she strode to the door. I waited for something, anything to happen, but she reached the entryway without complication and pulled on the handle. My heart sunk at the rejection she must have experienced. Part of me ached to throw the door wide and spurn Laith and his hardheaded stupidity, but I swallowed back the desire.
Violet’s eyes narrowed at him through the window. Then slowly, her gaze locked with mine and the frustration disappeared. I nodded, encouraging her with a smile. The brass pin within the lock clicked and the door swung open. Violet strode into the room, forcing Laith to take a measured step back.
Her chin lifted as she stared down her nose at him. “Did I pass your test?”
“How did you do that?” he asked.
“No mal-intent,” I said. “The lock’s purpose is to keep an enemy out. Violet’s not an enemy, so it obeyed her request.” My mother’s demon nodded her approval.
“So that’s how you got out of your cell?” Cedric asked.
She regarded him with a kind smile. “Indeed.”
Laith rolled that answer over in his head before addressing my demon. “Jonathan, your turn.”
Jonathan hesitated before steeling his nerves. Slowly he proceeded, flinching as he crossed over the threshold. Once he cleared the invisible barrier, a spark of excitement passed through his eyes, but he quickly stowed the errant feeling. He stopped in front of Laith.
Laith’s lips pressed together in a thin, angry line, but he didn’t flinch at the demon’s closeness. Neither moved as they stood eye to eye for seconds that seemed like an eternity. Then without warning, Laith turned and left the room. Elisa called after him. When it was obvious he wouldn’t return, she followed.
Cedric cleared his throat. “We should speak to the others and let them know, but it looks like we must make proper arrangements for your stay.”
Violet nodded but Jonathan spun. We watched, stunned, as he marched through the wide-open door towards the fields. I ran after him, halting after several yards.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
He glanced over his shoulder. “Away.”
“You don’t even have your clothes, and Cedric just said you could stay.”
He stopped in his tracks, spearing me with a look. “Who said I wanted to stay?” He closed his eyes and released a frustrated breath. “Here.” He pulled a knife from his boot. Opening my fist, he set it in my hand.
“What’s this?” I asked, confused.
“You saved my life. It’s yours.”
“Jonathan—”
He smirked. “It’s my favorite dagger. It should fit right in with your collection, you psycho.”
“I don’t need your—”
“Don’t be rude, Ava. Accept his gift,” Darius said, claiming my hand.
Jonathan eyed the contact with barely concealed revulsion then turned in a barefooted sprint toward the border.
“I assume it’ll take him some time to assess his feelings about the subject,” Violet said, approaching slowly.
I grumbled beneath my breath. “I guess so.”
She tapped my shoulder, forcing my gaze. Hector stood just behind—her ever-present guard.
“So, when do we start training?”
17
My Vigilant
Later that night, I waited in my bedroom for Darius to return from a border check with Laith. I knew I’d be a main topic of conversation between my boyfriend and my best friend, but I didn’t mind. I had never been at odds with Laith yet, and it felt strange, unnatural even, but I understood that my personal demons were a lot to swallow.
I worried over how to handle Violet in the future. At first she had refused to go back to her cell, demanding to stay with me, but after a plea from Hector that she wait until the rest of the compound could be made aware, she finally gave in. I would have to thank that man later. I had a feeling Hector would prove to be more of an asset than he already was.
I fiddled with the page of the book I pretended to read, then glanced down at my bare legs. My face blushed at my selected pajamas—a silky black top that scarcely fell mid-thigh. Now that he had come home, I wanted Darius all to myself, however impossible that desire might be. Even still, I anticipated his return, hoping he would stop in to see me before heading to bed.
If anyone was to blame, it would be Elisa. She had selected my wardrobe in the first place. So, in a way, everyone expected me to seduce Darius.
I shook my head at the awkwardness of that thought and shut my book with a snap. I leaped from my bed to change, confidence gone.
But I was too late.
The door to our connecting rooms opened and Darius froze two steps into my room, still fully dressed in a perfect pair of jeans and a white shirt. His shocked gaze took its time rolling over my body. Heat rushed to every part of my inspected flesh, but I contained the desire to flee into my closet. Whatever results I had expected, his reaction exceeded.
Desire flashed heavy in his eyes—the look of a starving man set in front of his first and only meal.
I was on fire with that single look.
He overtook me so fast that I was pinned against the wall a second later. My breath caught in my throat. The book fell from my grip when he grasped my wrists.
“What are you doing to me?” he breathed next to my ear, his chest rising and falling in sync with mine.
I suppressed a wicked shudder, keeping my voice as even as possible. “I’m not sure what you mean.” But that was yet another lie. I was keenly aware of my motivations, my feelings… and even more so, every movement of his body.
“Ava.” He said my name like a caress and the sound vibrated down to my very core. “You drive me mad.” My back arched slightly when his lips grazed my ear then traveled the length of my neck. He released my wrists. His fingers traced up my arm, sliding one spaghetti strap aside. His teeth bit into the tender spot where my neck met my shoulder and a moan bubbled past my lips. His other hand slipped under my hair as his mouth connected with mine. Warmth enveloped me.
My arms wrapped around his neck and I crushed myself against him—and my world became nothing but Darius. Why had I fought this for so long? This desire, this love. I was in love with Darius, and I knew that more now than ever as I returned his kisses with equal passion.
His lips trailed the line of my jaw, halting at my ear. “Marry me, Ava.”
“What?” I croaked.
He pulled back, but only far enough to stare into my eyes.
“I love you, b
ut I can’t keep doing this. You are too great a temptation. If you choose not to marry me, I’ll understand and I’ll continue to be your Guardian, but this…” He leaned in fervently kissing my lips for a second longer before pulling away again. “This must stop. I’m not as strong as you think I am, and I can’t—”
“I—” And suddenly I didn’t know why I was being so hesitant. I already knew that this was what needed to happen—there was no secret that in order for me to be the undeniable and powerful Defender, I had to be mated to my Guardian. To my equal.
And Darius was my equal.
I not only needed this union to defeat the Annihilator and take my revenge, but I needed and, more importantly, wanted Darius all to myself. He was meant for me, and my mother had known that truth all those years ago.
“I love you,” I said, and although it felt strange on my lips, it felt right, too. My hands cupped his ruggedly handsome face as I stood on my tiptoes to better gaze into his eyes. “I love you, Darius, and I’ve decided that you are never allowed to leave without me ever again.”
“Never.” And then he kissed me in such a manner that left me dizzy when he stopped. He picked me up off the ground with ease, holding me in his arms. My legs wrapped around his waist. “We need to stop. We’re not married yet, and there was actually a reason I came to see you tonight.”
I rested my forehead against his, breathing in the scent of him. “And what was that?”
“My mother’s awake. She wants to meet you.”
Panic swelled in my chest as we walked the halls of the complex. Darius’s mother, Emily, had been placed in Dr. Maynes’s office for the time being until they could ready one of the available suites. I pulled at my collar, suddenly too tight around my neck. I was glad Darius had reminded me to change before leaving. It was probably for the best, especially since I wasn’t trying to seduce his mother.
But perhaps jeans and a t-shirt were too casual. Maybe something a bit more formal for introductions to a mother he hadn’t seen since he was a child.
I twisted around, but Darius clamped down on my shoulders, halting my retreat. “She just wants to meet you. That’s all, Ava. It’s no big deal.” But I could hear the tension in his own words. It was a big deal and he knew it. I had just confessed to love him after he had asked me to marry him. This was a very big deal.
I took several steadying breaths, but nothing calmed my nerves. Seeking an advantage, I pressed outward, searching for the new soul among the others of our residency, and found it. And I stopped in my steps.
Pain. Emily was in pain. An emotional grief ran so deep that it became physical agony. She had yearned to see her son for so long and now she couldn’t get enough of him. It broke her heart that he was no longer a child—the same child she had allowed to be taken. She had prayed for him. Every day she pleaded for his safety… and now her pleas were for the deliverance of her husband—she missed him and worried over him until it made her sick.
I reached out, stopping Darius with a tug of his hand.
“We need to find Peter,” I said. His eyes narrowed, his mouth parted to argue, but I cut him off. “I can see into her soul, Darius. She’s a vat of mixed emotions right now, and those emotions are going to eat her alive.”
“Dang it, Ava.” He took a deep breath, pushing his fingers through his thick hair. He exhaled slowly. “We’ll talk about it later.” Then he grabbed me up in his arms, kissing me again in a way that made me feel as if he missed me. As if he hadn’t kissed me just minutes before.
My butterflies increased when we finally reached her suite. It was late. Most everyone had gone to sleep, but we quietly knocked, entering after a slight pause.
Emily sat rigid in her bed, the blanket pulled tightly over long legs. Her brown hair fell in messy waves to her shoulders. Her honey-colored eyes all but transfixed me in place. I was staring at a feminine version of Darius. The build of his mortal father was Darius’s through and through, but the rest—those features belonged to his mother.
Wrinkles lined the outside corners of her eyes. As she examined me, her lips lifted into an uncomfortable smile.
“So, you’re the girl my son’s been dreaming about since he was a child.”
“What?” I watched as Darius anxiously wiped a hand down his face. He breathed a nervous groan.
“Oh, yes,” she continued, despite his discomfort. “There was a short time when I began to wonder if God had been mistaken in showing me such a dream, but He’s never been wrong. I should have been more patient.”
Confused, I turned to my Guardian. Darius’s face had turned a fantastic shade of red.
He walked the distance of the room to take Emily’s outstretched hand. He smiled at her, warming to her familiarity. “I guess I should have warned you. My mother has her own gifts. Visions, of sorts.”
Shocked, I realized he had already forgiven her. Overlooked the years of grief she had caused him by being purposefully absent. But why did this shock me? Unlike me and my reaction to my father’s betrayal, Darius was a good person, capable of easy forgiveness and genuine tenderness.
Her eyes twinkled with motherly affection. “Nowhere near the types you received, but I’ve been blessed with glimpses into my son’s life. God knew I would find comfort in these visions.”
I almost growled out loud. Why did she have to keep bringing Him into it? She seemed so sincere, almost as if all the years of pain and agony were worth it. Of course I knew my calling came directly from Him, but as much as He had given, there was a bunch more taken. Heat rushed to my face. As much as time had passed, I hadn’t reconciled with that Being who gave me my powers.
“And now thanks to Him—”
“Thanks to Him?” I didn’t mean it to happen, but I snapped. My voice came out clipped and hoarse. “Thanks to Him? Thanks to Him you were forced to abandon your child. Thanks to Him, my mother and father are dead. Thanks to Him, my best friend died in front of my eyes.”
“Ava.” Darius’s voice drew my attention. Concern and shock warred within a single expression. He took a step, but Emily pulled on his hand, halting him from coming to me. I eyed her actions, barely suppressing my fury.
I balled my hands at my sides as anger pulsed through my world-weary soul. “Do you really want to give thanks to Him?”
She looked up, squeezing his hand. “Darius, darling, would you give me a minute?”
He nodded, and left, but not before placing a soft hand on my shoulder. When the door shut with a resolute click I was abandoned to his mother. I stood in the corner like a petulant child awaiting her punishment.
“That’s right,” she said to the closed door. “I think I need a moment with my future daughter-in-law.” My mouth parted to argue, but she shook her head. “Don’t try to deny it. You see, my dear, I have been given that vision too.” Her eyes narrowed as she once again surveyed me from the sandals on my feet to the tip of my head. She folded her hands in her lap. “Like my little one, you’ve seen many hardships in your young life. I see that in you. You are hardened. Life has knocked you about, but it wasn’t God who delivered those blows.”
I looked away. “I know that.”
“Then what makes you so angry?”
My gaze flashed back to her. “Why does He allow it to happen? Any of this?”
She smiled. “Why do you expect to be handed a perfect life? There’s no such thing. Do you think God lives a life of perfect pleasure and ease? Are you so entitled that you think mortals are the only ones that suffer?”
“I—” But my mouth snapped closed. I had never thought of it that way, and I was bothered at how much it made sense.
“You should give Him some credit,” she finished, watching my response.
And if I were being a grownup about things I knew that she was right again. I should give God credit. But I was a child—a pathetic, whiny child that cried when things didn’t go her way. My shoulders dropped. Thoroughly chastised, I turned to leave, but I paused at the door. I cleared my thr
oat, my voice barely more than a whisper. “Why did you stay away? He was your son.”
She sighed. “Letting Darius be taken by your friends was hard. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I sacrificed my happiness to keep him safe.”
“You could’ve come here. They would have kept you safe.”
“That was initially my plan…” Her gaze dropped to her hands folded in her lap. Her soul opened and that raw pain crept over me, seeping from hers to mine. A sadness too deep to contain.
My breath caught in my throat. “You fell in love with your demon.”
Her face turned a shade of pink. “Peter is powerful. When the immortals came, he took me as a hostage, but Darius was safe. Even if he later killed me, my boy was spared and I was content. As time passed, he kept me near thinking I would go back for my son, which prolonged my reunion. I stayed away and kept Peter’s attentions on me. Then, after a while…” she shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know which one of us fell in love first. Out of everyone within this haven, it is you I think who would understand this the most.”
“But I’m not in love with my demon,” I said, my mouth suddenly dry.
“For the sake of my son, I hope you remember that.”
For the next few days, Violet remained vigilant—my ever-watchful attendant, attached to me at the proverbial hip. Training her Defender against demonic entities became her number one priority, and she attacked that job like a manic, war-thirsty lunatic.
Jonathan also returned daily to aid in drills, but he always left before dinner. Sometimes the others would join, shocked at the level of information the demons brought to the sessions. Laith would watch but not participate.
Jonathan even worked with Darius, who, although doubtful at first, now sparred my demon with an enthusiastic tenor I had never seen from him yet. I dragged myself to my room every night, my energy drained and my muscles sore, to spend the rest of the evening with Violet.
I started to doubt my decision not to kill her.
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