Now that she was carrying his child, he was the only man for her.
In the years since they’d parted, there had been nobody who could compare. Nobody had even come close. Not that there had been that many, and there had been none since they had conceived their daughter.
Ally smiled. How much easier it was now to accept Danny’s part in the parenthood of their baby. Soon they were going to have to start thinking about what to call her.
In spite of the message of death that Danny had delivered to her today, at this moment Ally had never felt more alive. Why did death always remind a person of the life they took for granted?
Danny stirred in her arms, nuzzling against her, his rough beard rasping against her cheek and only heightening her awareness of this dear, dear man in her arms.
“Ally, I want nothing more than to hold you and to feel your body so full of life against mine,” he murmured. “But I can’t touch you. Not like this. I have to go back to the Q. I have to clean up. Take a shower.”
The idea of having him leave her, even for a short time, was terrifying. Ally clutched Danny tighter. “No,” she whispered. “You can take a shower here. I don’t want to let you go, Danny. Not even for a moment.”
He pushed himself slowly away from her breast, and Ally could feel his reluctance and his relief.
“You’re a lifesaver,” he said lifting his gaze to hers. “I’ll try not to let you down again.”
Ally wasn’t sure when he’d ever really let her down. After all, she’d been the one to end their relationship. She’d certainly let him down. He’d been the one who’d sworn to love her and care for her. She, not Danny, had been the one to creep away like a thief the night their baby was conceived.
Of course, they still had to come to a consensus on that issue of work. “You’ve never let me down, Danny. You’ve been nothing but up front with me.” Ally smiled gently down into his clouded, Irish-green eyes. “Go wash up. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Danny dragged himself out of her arms, but not before squeezing her to him in another heartfelt hug. Then he stumbled toward the bathroom, leaving Ally’s arms feeling surprisingly empty.
Still, she had to smile at his departure. Even in a stained T-shirt and jeans, he looked wonderful to her. Especially now that she could no longer detect any scent of alcohol on him. His jeans clung like skin to his tight behind—from the rear, he’d always looked good.
Ally chuckled. Then she went to rustle up something clean for him to wear when he emerged from the shower.
THE HOT, STINGING SPRAY soothed Danny’s aching muscles and throbbing head, and it felt good to be washing the stench of drink from his skin. Danny glanced around the bathtub as he scrubbed, and smiled at the collection of feminine items that cluttered the edge. In the years he and Ally had been apart, he’d forgotten how many things she used to make herself smell and look so good.
Of course, as far as Danny was concerned, Ally needed nothing extra to achieve that end. With her flawless olive complexion and expressive, dark gray eyes, she required no adornment. And her waist-length, raven hair was her crowning glory.
He felt a stirring in his groin and grinned. It wouldn’t take him very much time to recover from that stupid, though well-intentioned drunk. There was something to be said about being in top condition.
He hurriedly shampooed his hair with some overly floral shampoo that always smelled great on Ally but did nothing for him. He would be clean, and that was what mattered. If somebody from the team caught him smelling like this, he wouldn’t care. He was so in love with Ally he’d risk the ridicule.
This woman was his reason for living. She was the thing that had been missing from his life for too long. His life finally would be complete if he could be with her, he thought as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair.
But one terrible thought, one horrible doubt still nagged at him, he couldn’t help admitting as he scraped at his tough, red beard with Ally’s flimsy pink razor. He was slated to head off to one of the hottest hot spots in the world in just a few short months.
What if he didn’t come back?
There had been a time when he’d felt invincible, felt that he could never die. He’d believed he could do anything. Ally had made him feel as though he could leap tall buildings, elude death. He had been certain that he was too careful, too well-trained for anything to happen to him.
Yet Nate probably had believed the very same thing.
Danny had known of the deaths of other combat controllers, but no news had affected him the way hearing about Nate had. He’d known Nate well, trained with him, eaten with him, slept in the same dorm with him. Nate had been as well-trained as Danny was, and that hadn’t kept Nate safe.
And now that he himself was going to be a father, Danny was beginning to feel as mortal as the rest of them.
He put down the razor and turned off the water, sobered by the realization.
ALLY HEARD THE SHOWER STOP and grinned to herself. She well remembered the look, the feel, of Danny Murphey, clean and warm and slick from the shower. The scent of a freshly washed man was one of the most potent aphrodisiacs in the world, as far as Ally was concerned. Still, she had a sense that Danny wouldn’t really be in the mood for love.
His body would be clean, and if he’d found the new toothbrush she’d gotten from the dentist last week and hadn’t used yet, he’d brush his teeth, but it would be a long while before he was likely to feel himself again. In the meantime, she would get a good meal into him.
She lifted the lid off the soup pot and inhaled the rich aroma. Her mother had always said that a good pot of chicken soup would cure anything, even a broken heart. Ally didn’t know about the second part of her mother’s statement, but she was completely convinced of the curative effects. Chicken soup was one of the seven wonders of the world.
“I think I’m almost human again,” Danny said from behind her, and Ally turned to see him standing with one shoulder and one hip propped against the doorjamb. His rusty-colored hair was mussed and damp from being toweled dry, and he still had one of her lavender-colored guest towels draped around his neck to catch the occasional drip. A few droplets glistened on his broad chest; his crossed arms prevented any more from dripping onto his zipped, but unbuttoned jeans.
His shirt, light jacket and underwear were still chugging around in the washing machine, so she’d be treated to this enticing picture until his clothes were dried. Though she had scouted around in her closets, Ally hadn’t been able to find anything that would stretch over Danny’s broad chest without bursting at the seams. Sometimes being a petite woman had its advantages.
To know that he was being forced to “go commando” under his jeans because his clothes were still washing titillated her.
Ally grinned. “Maybe if you eat some of this soup you’ll be even closer to human,” she said. “Take a seat and I’ll bring you some. Want some more crackers?” She ladled soup into a shallow bowl and placed it in front of Danny.
“Just smelling it is doing me a world of good,” Danny murmured. Ally glanced around in time to catch him dip a finger into the broth and have a taste.
“Pass inspection?” Ally asked as she set a spoon and a plate of crackers in front of him.
“I’d give it about a ninety out of a hundred,” he said, scooping up his first mouthful. “Okay, make that ninety-five.”
Ally arched an eyebrow. “Only ninety-five?” She set her own bowl down across from him and slid onto the opposing chair.
“Well, it is a little skimpy on meat,” Danny said between spoonfuls.
“Let’s see how your stomach tolerates that first,” Ally said, tasting some herself. “I can fish some more chicken out of the pot for you if you think you can handle it.”
“Okay. Whatever,” Danny said, then polished off the contents of his bowl in short order. He held the empty dish out. “I’d get it myself, but I’m still a little green around the gills.”
“Yeah, right. You just
want to have the little woman waiting on you, that’s all,” Ally told him good-naturedly. She wasn’t about to upset their applecart right now. They were doing so well, even if she should be really upset with him about setting up camp on her doorstop like a village drunk.
“It’s damn good,” Danny said. “Is it one of your mother’s recipes?”
“No, I got that one from Mrs. Campbell,” Ally said, glancing at the empty soup cans poking out of the kitchen trash. “I did add a few secret ingredients of my own, though.”
Danny tipped an imaginary hat. “Tell Mrs. C. thanks from me,” he said, spooning in more.
“Your appetite’s returned,” Ally said dryly as she watched him eat.
“Need my strength for later,” Danny said around a mouthful of crackers.
Ally suspected she knew the “later” he was referring to, but strong constitution or not, it would be a while before Danny felt like his old self. “You want some more soup?” she asked simply.
DANNY HAD TO GIVE IT to her—Ally was being a hell of a lot more forgiving than he would have been had he been in her place. On the other hand, she hadn’t exactly leaped into his arms. Although she’d invited him to stay and watch the video she’d rented, she and her popcorn were situated comfortably in the armchair across from him, her legs tucked under her. She had wrapped herself in an afghan as if it were a shield.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like to come over here and watch from the front row?” Danny asked, patting the couch cushion beside him.
“I’m fine where I am.”
“I’m not. And you won’t give me even a taste of popcorn, either,” he grumbled.
“You know darn well why you can’t have any popcorn. I don’t think your stomach is ready yet.”
Danny’s stomach had stopped churning, but it didn’t quite feel like the cast-iron fuel tank he’d always been able to count on. “Okay,” he said, conceding defeat. “You’re probably right about that, but I don’t see why you can’t sit by me.”
“Because then you’d be tempted to eat the popcorn,” Ally said. “It’s for your own good.”
“Suuure it is, Ally. I think it’s because you never learned to share.” It was fun to banter like this.
Ally threw a handful of popcorn at him, but it didn’t make it across the room. Danny just shook his head solemnly.
“Too bad you don’t have a dog,” he said.
“What? Dog?” She screwed her face up in a funny expression of puzzlement.
“Well, I’m not going to vacuum that stuff up. If you had a dog, you wouldn’t have to.” Danny crossed his arms over his chest in a gesture of finality and then made a big show of turning his attention back to Lost in Translation. This wasn’t exactly the kind of flick he’d choose to watch. He was more into car chases and aliens.
He caught a glimpse of Ally reaching into the popcorn bowl as if she might be planning to throw some more, but then she closed her little fist around the contents and lowered it back to the bowl. “You are so annoying when you’re right, Danny Murphey.”
“And you’re so adorable when you’re annoyed,” Danny fired back.
That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Ally picked up the plastic popcorn bowl and threw it at him.
It found its mark, bouncing off his chest and emptying into his lap. Too bad she’d already eaten most of the popcorn in it.
ALLY WAS ENJOYING WATCHING him sleeping so soundly on his side on the couch, his arms forming a pillow for his head, even if he had left her to clean up the popcorn mess. It was probably her fault for picking the movie she had. She’d rented it not expecting that Danny would be there to share it with her.
She got most of the popcorn up with the carpet sweeper, no electricity required. No noise, either. Danny slept through the entire process without twitching as much as an eyelid. Ally guessed it was best to let him sleep it off at her place, rather than letting him go back to the VAQ smelling as though he’d bathed in jasmine.
She’d learned enough about men—and combat controllers, in particular—to know that he’d never hear the end of it if he came in reeking of perfume.
Besides, she liked having him here.
Had she really just thought that? Ally wondered why. Only a week ago she’d been ready to have him shot on sight. Or at least banished. Now she seemed to be softening.
But then, why wouldn’t any woman want somebody like Danny Murphey in her life? Why couldn’t she? After all, they had a history, most of which had been wonderful.
What was wrong with her?
Maybe she was just out of her mind.
Whatever the reason, Ally closed the house, covered Danny up as best she could, even tucking the end of the old lap throw under him to keep him snug. Then she turned off the light and went to bed. Alone.
Dammit.
DANNY WOKE UP disoriented. But it took only seconds for him to remember that he was in Ally’s house, on Ally’s couch, and remember why he was there.
A shaft of pain speared him as he recalled Nate’s death, his own stupid drinking binge and the taxi drive across town.
Thank God, Ally had let him in and sobered him up.
He understood why Ally had left him on the undersize couch, but that didn’t mean he liked it. It was cold under the skimpy throw she’d tucked around him. It was dark in the room and he had no idea what she’d done with his shoes and his socks, so he was stuck here for the night.
And wouldn’t you know it—he had to use the can.
Danny got up off the couch—and tripped over the afghan that had wrapped itself around his feet with more tenacity than a landlocked octopus. He caught his elbow on the edge of the coffee table and muttered a curse.
A light came on in the hall and nearly blinded him. “What the—?”
“You woke me up, Danny,” Ally said quietly through a yawn.
“Sorry. I was trying to get to the bathroom.”
“I’ll switch on the light for you,” Ally said. “Do your business, then come to bed.”
He wasn’t exactly at his best at the moment, but Danny was pretty sure he’d heard what Ally had just said. It might have been a Freudian slip on her part, but she’d said it, nonetheless.
So Danny did what he had to do, then crept silently down the hall and accepted her invitation.
SHE SHOULD HAVE been surprised when he stumbled to her bed.
Then she remembered what she’d said while she was still half asleep. When Danny slid beneath her covers and pressed his body against hers, it seemed as natural as breathing. And oh so familiar. Why did her body crave him, when in her mind she wasn’t sure this was the thing to do?
Ally snuggled closer to Danny as he wrapped his arms around her. She was so weak.
And Danny was so strong.
She should have pushed him away, but just having him there seemed right. What would it be like to wake up next to him every day for the rest of her life?
Heaven.
Just like now.
Ally wriggled around in Danny’s arms so that she could face him, and she kissed him on the lips. He returned the kiss and pulled her closer, seemingly content just to hold her. And Ally was happy to be held. She loved Danny; she hoped Danny would be in her life and eventually in their daughter’s. However, until she was sure of her final decision about Danny, she was reluctant to do anything she would regret later.
Then again, she wasn’t going to get any more pregnant than she already was, she reminded herself, as Danny relaxed against her and began to take deep, slow breaths.
Still wondering whether it would be wise to succumb to Danny’s charm and proximity, Ally drifted off into comfortable, contented sleep.
DANNY DIDN’T KNOW when he realized he was in Ally’s bed, but once he did he sure wasn’t about to get up and leave. Here he was wrapped up in warm blankets, in a warm woman’s bed, only inches from Ally. It couldn’t get much better.
He drew her to him and held her close. “I want you so much, Ally,” he murmure
d, thinking she was asleep.
“I love you, Danny,” Ally whispered back. “I always will. That was never our problem.”
He hadn’t meant for Ally to hear his declaration, but now that she had, he felt fine about it. Especially now that Ally had told him that she loved him. But their breakup had never been about one or the other of them falling out of love. That would have been a lot easier to take than the real reason for their parting.
Ally shifted in his arms and looked into his eyes. “Did you hear me, Danny? I said I love you.”
Danny squeezed her tighter. “I know that, Ally. And I remember why you left me. I just never fully understood until now.” He kissed the top of her sweet-smelling head.
“Will we ever be able to work this out?”
“I hope so, Danny,” Ally whispered. “I want to. You have no idea how much. Surely we can do anything if we just put our minds to it.”
Once again feeling a stirring in his groin, Danny tried to push himself away. Obviously, he was not in the mood for any deep thinking at this moment, but now was not the time to confuse the issue with sex, no matter how good, or no matter how much he wanted Ally.
“Don’t go,” Ally breathed. “I want you so much, even if it is only for today. Make love to me, Danny.” She pulled him back against her, pressing her voluptuous breasts and rounded belly against his aching, needy body. “Even if it isn’t forever, Danny, I have to feel you inside me.”
Danny would have shouted for joy, but still he held back. He’d never made love to a pregnant woman.
“Ally, I want to so much. But can we? Should we?” He swallowed. “Won’t it hurt the baby?”
Ally ducked her head against his chest and Danny felt her shaking in his arms. Had he made her cry? Damn, he hadn’t meant to do that. That was the furthest thing from his mind.
“Ally, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I don’t mean to hurt you or make you cry.”
She looked up, tears glistening on her thick, dark lashes, yet the expression on her face showed anything but misery. “Thank you, Danny,” she managed between giggles. “I needed to laugh.”
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